Your best cruise "Line"...or quote that is

[grizzy]

If your group is anything like ours then you know what it's like to always be on guard. Anything you say can and will be critiqued and molded at your expense...in good humor of course.

 

Anyway, I want to hear you funniest lines or quotes that were uttered and became your phrase of the week. Let's try to steer clear of the old stanby's like "what times the midnight buffet" & "then who's steering the ship".

 

Here are a few of mine:

 

Our group was on a private charter in Caye Caulker at the Barrier Reef when the Captain powered down and began to throw at the anchor. Van, who had been drinking til way late in the night, looked at us and said "Jeff, is this where we are?" Just say that out loud a few times and then tell me how you would have answered him. Was he getting philosophical? Maybe he was sobering up. He couldn't go an hour from that point on without being asked..."is this where we are?"

 

This took line of the week last year and it happened at the baggage claim area. The compass said they would call blue & white tags first so we all got blue. As we are downstairs waiting for our luggage all that are coming out is a few bags with white tags and a few with blue. After waiting for like 45 minutes red bags start coming off and nothing else. Now there are people with white tags and blue tags waiting and red won’t be called for a while. After waiting another 30 min Jeff goes over to question/complain about the process. He finds a Port worker who is from the Caribbean (you could tell by her accent) that all of us blue tag people don’t have our luggage. He then points over our group and says, "We’ve got WHITE PEOPLE waiting over there." He said things got quiet and she gave him a weird/angry/dirty look. Obviously what he meant was that there are also people with white tags that haven’t got their luggage as well. He still hasn’t lived it down!

 

I've got a couple other good ones but I'll wait for others to chime in first.

 

 

Chris:cool:

[wrp96]

Well, my personal favorite came from my last Voyager cruise. Standing outside the open Windjammer buffet - and I mean right in front of the entrance - I heard a gentleman complaining to his wife because he "couldn't find any food on this ship."

[Sec89]

On my last cruise , My mother , my bestfriend's mother , my bestfriend and I were looking at the ship out the window of the dock building, before boarding the ship . My bestfriend who can be , well we'll just say a little ditzy then remarks " Wait , is the boat even in the water yet?" Our mothers never let her live that one down.

[Lokalona]

Long ago on my first cruise aboard the Nordic Empress this lady was standing at the railing looking up at the night sky for quite a while. It was real windy, you know how it is and her skirt was literally blowing up her back. Friends with us walked up to the rail and asked what she was staring at...she said she was waiting for the moon to become full....MY husband who was standing back a bit said "from back here the moon is full" we all about died laughing..she never had a clue! So we always joke, lets go out to the promanade and check for full moons!

[BEVGOO]

First week of December on the Radiance we and another couple went to the Couples resort for the day. Of course, unlimited rum punch. Late in the afternoon my husband came back from a walk up the beach and said he had been "throwing birds to the chickens". Translated that meant he was throwing bread to the birds. Proof that rum does strange things to your brain. At least he had an excuse.

[cincicruisers]

On my last cruise , My mother , my bestfriend's mother , my bestfriend and I were looking at the ship out the window of the dock building, before boarding the ship . My bestfriend who can be , well we'll just say a little ditzy then remarks " Wait , is the boat even in the water yet?" Our mothers never let her live that one down.

 

too funny, thanks for sharing. I dont have any funny stories, but great thread.

[TTCruiser]

A few years back a group of friends and I were doing the Western Caribbean itinerary aboard the Voyager. One of the guys in the group was very new to cruising and naturally had a lot of questions about how things worked on a cruise vacation. After a few days onboard, he began to get the hang of things until our stop in Ocho Rios. We decided to spend the day at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville to have some lunch and a lot of drinks! Well, when it came time for all us to settle up on our individal checks, the new guy turns to be and asks "can I use my Sail & Sign" card?? I told him that somehow I doubted the country of Jamaica would accept this form of payment. Turns out that was the only "form of payment" he brought with him from the ship. After a good laugh, we took care of his tab and reminded him that we would be in Grand Cayman tomorrow and not to forget his wallet!!

[dad son team]

A couple of cruises ago, I went to Carlos & Charlie's in Coz with some friends I met on board. While there having a good time, a lesbian couple that I had met on board came in and sat 2 table down. If you have ever been there, you know there is a lot of hoopla to do a shot. The girls bought me a shot and came over to assist the waitress with the process. It was a lot of fun. Fast forward to next cruise. Walking down the street in Coz we passed C&C again. A different friend I was with who had heard the above story asks me "is this the place to go to get felt-up by lesbians?" We then went inside.

[Happy ks]

On our last cruise, after embarkation/lunch and exploring, we all stopped (group of 8 of us) for a drink at sailaway. Well, I'm a lightweight drinker, I had an apple martini for the first time and enjoyed it so much I had another. So, I'm on my way, wine at dinner and I'm the life of the party. After I eat, I'm putting on some lipstick and laughing hysterically at whatever a drunk person laughs at, I get a bit on my chin (well, I thought it was just a bit!). My dear teenage daughter, who has never seen her mother like this before in her life, says "Nice lipstick, Courtney Love". To this day, family and friends are calling me Courtney.

 

 

To the OP, thanks for the fun post!

[suzeyQ]

My husband has a glass eye. On our last cruise, we had been lying in the sun and decided to go sit by the side of the pool for a few minutes. I reminded him to keep an eye on our stuff on the chairs while we sat by the pool, in case someone tried to move it. He promptly popped his out out, set it on my towel and said "There, I'm keeping an eye on it." Let me tell you, no one went within 10 feet of those chairs!!

[cruisin granny]

Many years ago we were with a company group of 150 on one of the first voyages of Celebrity Mercury. I was stuck next to a man, at dinner, that described his sea sickness in detail for 2 nights. The next table was having so much fun & the waiter was making things out of napkins for them. I asked our waiter, who had been very quiet, if he could do that, & he said he was better if I were "up for it". He rolled a napkin & had me hold both ends & pull. It became a part of the male anatomy. This certainly livened that boring dinner.

[grizzy]

"throwing birds to the chickens".

 

That's classic...he must have been felling good!

 

" Wait , is the boat even in the water yet?"

 

So was it:confused: .

 

 

 

These are all great...let's keep them coming.

 

Chris

[zotzer]

On Radiance this past December, a friend reported a real doozy from a new acquaintence on the ship. It was Thursday (day 5 of the cruise) and as they stepped into the elevator the new friend proclaimed "This is so cool. I always seem to get the elevator that has the right day of the week on the floor!". :)

 

Tracy

[Merion_Mom]

My husband has a glass eye. On our last cruise, we had been lying in the sun and decided to go sit by the side of the pool for a few minutes. I reminded him to keep an eye on our stuff on the chairs while we sat by the pool, in case someone tried to move it. He promptly popped his out out, set it on my towel and said "There, I'm keeping an eye on it." Let me tell you, no one went within 10 feet of those chairs!!

Suzey, this is the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Do you know where I can one of those? ;)

[LindaandJeff]

I once heard a lady (mid fifties, traveling alone) walk up to the cruise staff desk in the lobby during embarkation to ask if the male crew were checked for social diseases on a weekly basis since she didn't want "to be lonely" but didn't want to risk catching anything. Without missing a beat, the person at the desk said, "No ma'am, if you are interested in fraternizing, you do so at your own risk."

[zotzer]

"No ma'am, if you are interested in fraternizing, you do so at your own risk."

 

OH......MY......GOD!!! I am crying laughing! I have this vision of the woman being smarter on her next cruise, and bringing her own petri dish!

 

What a hoot!!!

Tracy

[Merion_Mom]

And I have this picture of those wonderful people I know so well at the Purser's Desk, struggling to keep a straight face while the passenger stood there, then erupting in gales of laughter as soon as she left! ;)

[LindaandJeff]

Exactly right, Merion Mom!

[Cruising89143]

I once heard a lady (mid fifties, traveling alone) walk up to the cruise staff desk in the lobby during embarkation to ask if the male crew were checked for social diseases on a weekly basis since she didn't want "to be lonely" but didn't want to risk catching anything. Without missing a beat, the person at the desk said, "No ma'am, if you are interested in fraternizing, you do so at your own risk."

 

That without a doubt has to be the best one that I have heard yet. I cannot believe some people. I would not have been able to keep a straight face if I had been the person at the desk.:D

[Merion_Mom]

Looks like a new moneymaker for an enterprising passenger. Forget bringing on that keg..........bring on shots of penicillin!!!!! :D :D :D

[mkringen]

I have a couple from our cruise last August on the Monarch. We seemed to run into quite a few rude people who cut in line, hogged food at the buffet or other such things. Every time we saw someone doing something selfish we would say "Well it is THEIR cruise" and then we would laugh. It really became a great way to not get frustrated with these people. So now we use it in all situations but change the thing that is theirs. Its THEIR walk on the beach. Its THEIR dinner out. You get the drift.

 

The last night of the cruise I was using up my buy one get one free drink coupon during the late night comedian show. After the show we had to go back to the room and pack so the bags would be out in the hall by midnight. There were 4 of us in a tiny inside quad. I guess it got a bit warm in there and I kept saying "It's hot in here" in a really drunk slurred voice. I never drink so my sister and husband were really amused. Now whenever the tempature gets warm someone is sure to say "It's hot in here" in a drunk slurred voice.

 

Michelle in SoCal

[grizzy]

"This is so cool. I always seem to get the elevator that has the right day of the week on the floor!".

 

Wow...that's almost scary.

 

 

I once heard a lady (mid fifties, traveling alone) walk up to the cruise staff desk in the lobby during embarkation to ask if the male crew were checked for social diseases on a weekly basis since she didn't want "to be lonely" but didn't want to risk catching anything. Without missing a beat, the person at the desk said, "No ma'am, if you are interested in fraternizing, you do so at your own risk."

 

Wow...that is scary;) .

 

These are all great!

 

Chris

[saxmelody]

My friend and I were standing out on the balcony of our cabin gazing down at the water. We had been there for quite some time when she turns to me and asks "which way is the front of the ship?" Trying my best to keep from cracking up, I asked her "which way is the water going? I don't think we are going to back the whole way there. Do you?" So, that became our question of the week. Which way is the front of the ship?

 

Cool thread.

 

Amy

[rmillsap]

On one of our Alaska cruises there was a lady at the table next to ours who always had something to complain about. One day she apparently heard the ship had reached a high latitude. That night she came to dinner complaining she was having trouble breathing because the ship had reached such a high altitude.

I sent this to Cruise Travel Magazine several years ago and they printed it. Now I’m hearing the story from cruise directors.

[dbarry]

The same year that I started cruising my now 5 yr. old grandson was born. Since then he has watched me "sail" away on quite a few more cruises. He helps me pick shore excursions, and plan each new cruise. He loves to watch my "cruise in review" videos and the videos I have of me climbing the Dunn's River Falls in Jamaica, and swimming with the Stingrays in Grand Cayman. He tells me now that when he turns 7 that he will be big enough to go with me. While helping me plan my last cruise he had a question for me to ask the Captain, "Where do you park the trailer while you are in the water?" Don't you just love the way kids think?

 

Darlene