Your best cruise "Line"...or quote that is

[zotzer]

Wow...that is scary;) .

These are all great!

 

Well, it IS the "Guest Relations" desk after all. Seems like she was translating this quite literally in her mind! ROFL

 

Tracy

[shipknotshore]

On one of our Alaska cruises there was a lady at the table next to ours who always had something to complain about. One day she apparently heard the ship had reached a high latitude. That night she came to dinner complaining she was having trouble breathing because the ship had reached such a high altitude.

I sent this to Cruise Travel Magazine several years ago and they printed it. Now I’m hearing the story from cruise directors.

 

Too Funny!!! Some people just HAVE to find something to complain about. I wonder if she has ever heard this story repeated and recognized that it was about her. They should have moved her out of her cabin to the bottom of the ship until her breathing improved. :D

 

Great stories everyone.

[selectone]

We were traveling on an unnamed cruise line that "featured" open dining. Our group was waiting at the end of the very long line of passengers waiting to be seated. A couple walked up behind us and said, "do you mind if we join our friends already in line?" The gentleman ahead of us turned around and said, "we don't mind at all. Ask your friends to come back and join you here!". The couple just turned around and left.

I patted the guy on the back and told him that I wanted to say that for years.

[cruzinmecrazy]

It was the end of our cruise and everyone was standing in line to leave the ship and go thru customs. We had stood in line for about an hour and finally made to the gang way. There are stairs right by the exit and about seven people from Brazil come down the stairs and cut into line. They were all speaking Spanish to each other and not paying attention to what they had done. My wife being polite tells one of the ladies in Spanish that the end of the line is way back there and that the people she just cut in front of have been in line for an hour.

 

The Lady (I'm being polite, she was no lady) snapped back to my wife and held up her SeaPass card and exclaimed "We are Platinum members!!!" Without hesitating my wife said "well then I guess you better get out of the Pion line and find the Platinum line."

 

 

 

I guess from now on when we want something that they don't have on the cruise or if we want special privledges we will just hold up our SeaPass card and exclaim "We're almost Platinum members!!!"

[jaxboater]

First afternoon on board and a lady walks up to me and demands to know where the ‘cafeteria‘ is. I point toward where the Windjammer is and she states there is nothing there. She then proceeds to demand the same of a young lady walking by. The young lady, without missing a beat, says ‘Do I look like the Cruise Director’?

[Merion_Mom]

If your group is anything like ours then you know what it's like to always be on guard. Anything you say can and will be critiqued and molded at your expense...in good humor of course.

 

Anyway, I want to hear you funniest lines or quotes that were uttered and became your phrase of the week. Let's try to steer clear of the old stanby's like "what times the midnight buffet" & "then who's steering the ship".

 

Here are a few of mine:

 

Our group was on a private charter in Caye Caulker at the Barrier Reef when the Captain powered down and began to throw at the anchor. Van, who had been drinking til way late in the night, looked at us and said "Jeff, is this where we are?" Just say that out loud a few times and then tell me how you would have answered him. Was he getting philosophical? Maybe he was sobering up. He couldn't go an hour from that point on without being asked..."is this where we are?"

 

This took line of the week last year and it happened at the baggage claim area. The compass said they would call blue & white tags first so we all got blue. As we are downstairs waiting for our luggage all that are coming out is a few bags with white tags and a few with blue. After waiting for like 45 minutes red bags start coming off and nothing else. Now there are people with white tags and blue tags waiting and red won’t be called for a while. After waiting another 30 min Jeff goes over to question/complain about the process. He finds a Port worker who is from the Caribbean (you could tell by her accent) that all of us blue tag people don’t have our luggage. He then points over our group and says, "We’ve got WHITE PEOPLE waiting over there." He said things got quiet and she gave him a weird/angry/dirty look. Obviously what he meant was that there are also people with white tags that haven’t got their luggage as well. He still hasn’t lived it down!

 

I've got a couple other good ones but I'll wait for others to chime in first.

 

 

Chris:cool:

OMG!! I almost forgot about our experience on St. Thomas. We were in one of those typical tourist shops, with all the crap that says St.Thomas on it, including clothing. There was a large display of t-shirts, in all sizes and styles. On one rack, there was a sign: WHITE KIDS T-SHIRTS $4.95

 

We just CRACKED up. We took a picture, and keep meaning to send it in to Jay Leno, but keep forgetting. :D

[suzeyQ]

Suzey, this is the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Do you know where I can one of those? ;)

 

hehe... he might have an extra one that he doesn't use anymore, if you'd like me to ask.... :D

[PhinsAndGills]

I have a couple from our cruise last August on the Monarch. We seemed to run into quite a few rude people who cut in line, hogged food at the buffet or other such things. Every time we saw someone doing something selfish we would say "Well it is THEIR cruise" and then we would laugh. It really became a great way to not get frustrated with these people. So now we use it in all situations but change the thing that is theirs. Its THEIR walk on the beach. Its THEIR dinner out. You get the drift.

Michelle in SoCal

Okay, that's pretty close to one I've used. In line for the midnight buffet, we were rudely cut in front of by a couple adults literally shoving food in their mouths with their bare hands (not necessarily finger food, and they didn't have plates...) I grabbed my Dad's arm (keep in mind, I'm 27), slapped my hand over my heart and said loud enough for them to hear, but not make a fool of myself "LOOK Daddy! That must be the people who OWN the ship!!!"

All I got was a dirty look from them and a few chuckles around me.

 

I've used that one for people who cut me off in a car, too "That must be the people who own this road... being they're allowed to act like that..."

[Merion_Mom]

hehe... he might have an extra one that he doesn't use anymore, if you'd like me to ask.... :D

My ex-FIL has one of those, too, and after the operation at the VA Hospital, they sent him home with one in place, but promised to send a "spare." It never arrived, and he always used to say that he was "keeping an eye on the Post Office."

[Triciken]

These are great. I could tell everyone over and over about these,:p

[golfpi]

We used TMI a lot. TO MUCH INFORMATION. Some people are pretty long winded and after a certain point in their stories we would have to break in and just say TMI. Orthey start talking about the night they had with their partner and we would have to say TMI.

[dmndlil]

My husband has a glass eye. On our last cruise, we had been lying in the sun and decided to go sit by the side of the pool for a few minutes. I reminded him to keep an eye on our stuff on the chairs while we sat by the pool, in case someone tried to move it. He promptly popped his out out, set it on my towel and said "There, I'm keeping an eye on it." Let me tell you, no one went within 10 feet of those chairs!!

 

Coffee up my nose!!! Thanks for the laugh!

[TTCruiser]

A few years back we were sailing the Western Caribbean itinerary on the Voyager of the Seas. Well, the first stop being Labadee, our group decided to purchase the waterpark excursion. Now, there was a guy in our group that GREW UP IN FLORIDA, but didn't posses the same swimming skills as the rest of group. After ensuring him that he would be safe with the life jacket on and that everyone in our group would keep an eye out for him, he decided to join us. As the group begins to wade out toward the water trampolines, the guy that lacked the experience in the swimming dept. began to spit wildly...so we ask him "is everything ok?", "what's wrong?" With out a second thought he goes "the water is salty!!" Everyone was dying with laughter, we couldn't believe that those words actually came out of his mouth!! Needless to say, he didn't live that one down for awhile.

 

PS...he is the same guy that I wrote about earlier in this thread. The guy that thought he could use his "Sail and Sign" card for purchases in Ocho Rios.

[morriscats]

We are cruising to Alaska in Sept and taking an older couple who have never cruised. She is somewhat ill and sometimes has trouble breathing. Both her and her husband wondered if they should take oxygen because "Alaska is higher up than California"??? We still laugh about that one!

[Grumm]

I have posted this on another site, but I feel it's worth repeating. During a Junior Cuisine Quiz, the kids were asked "Which vegetable makes your eyes water?" One young boy (from Scotland, I'm ashamed to admit) answered "turnip". The chef, who was quizmaster said " Sorry. It's actually an onion". The youngster then informed the chef that he'd obviously never been hit in the b*lls by a turnip!

 

10 out of 10 for original thinking!

 

Alan

[Snoozeman]

Well, it IS the "Guest Relations" desk after all. Seems like she was translating this quite literally in her mind! ROFL Tracy

That's great:)

 

about seven people from Brazil come down the stairs and cut into line. They were all speaking Spanish to each other and not paying attention to what they had done. My wife being polite tells one of the ladies in Spanish that the end of the line is way back there and that the people she just cut in front of have been in line for an hour.

She may have had better luck if she had spoke to them in Portugese.:rolleyes: (sorry-couldn't let it pass):)

 

 

I have posted this on another site, but I feel it's worth repeating. During a Junior Cuisine Quiz, the kids were asked "Which vegetable makes your eyes water?" One young boy (from Scotland, I'm ashamed to admit) answered "turnip". The chef, who was quizmaster said " Sorry. It's actually an onion". The youngster then informed the chef that he'd obviously never been hit in the b*lls by a turnip! 10 out of 10 for original thinking!

Alan

Aye, a good one:)

 

Very funny thread--thanks to all

[johnlcruise]

We are cruising to Alaska in Sept and taking an older couple who have never cruised. She is somewhat ill and sometimes has trouble breathing. Both her and her husband wondered if they should take oxygen because "Alaska is higher up than California"??? We still laugh about that one!

 

Another "Alaska" funny

We where in Skgway somebody said look at all of those high mountains.

I wounder what altitude (how high we are)we are at.

We all stop in our tracks look at this person and at the same time said "Sea Level" :) No she was not a blond.

[grizzy]

I wounder what altitude (how high we are)we are at.

We all stop in our tracks look at this person and at the same time said "Sea Level" No she was not a blond.

 

Whoa.

 

Whenever someone says something like that I always mummur the following to whoever I'm with..."the scary/sad thing is that this person has a drivers license!"

 

Chris:cool:

[grizzy]

just wanted to restart this for the new week...:cool: