Indonesia / Malaysia/ Singapore

[zitsky]

My partner is from Penang, Malaysia.  We’ve been talking about a Bali to Singapore cruise but we’ve hit a snag.  He is worried about anti LGBTQIA+ laws that would impact our cruise.  We are always discreet when traveling and have been to quite a few countries without problems.  But mostly those countries have been relatively friendly.

 

Can anyone comment on the status of these three countries and whether we might run into problems?

[CDNPolar]

This is just personal opinion....

 

If you are discreet and you are not roaming the streets sharing public displays of affection, then I would not be concerned.

 

If on a cruise, and especially if you are participating in excursions that the cruise ship offers, then you are part of a group and "hidden in plain sight" so to speak.

 

Even if you take private tours or wander on your own, if you are discreet then I would not be concerned.

 

Not exactly the same thing, but my husband is Chinese and we have traveled extensively and continue to travel with a future cruise booked to Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, and finally India. 

 

We don't personally feel any concern and mostly because we are also discreet.

 

One thing at my age that I accept is that different parts of the world have different levels of acceptance for LGBT individuals, and I cannot change that in my visit to their country, BUT, I am not not going to travel there.  I have also accepted that I can not, and will not force my being gay on anyone and so choose to be discreet and enjoy the world for what it is. 

 

I have a saying that I like to reference in my head and that is:  Gay is what I am not who I am.  To me that means that I don't have to scream anything to anyone, but just exist quietly and do my thing, and my thing is travel and see the world, experience diverse cultures, and food.  That's all.

 

I hope you follow through and have a wonderful time.

 

Oh, and just as a note... when we first started to cruise, we chose Viking as our cruise line and all but one of our 9 cruises now have been on Viking.  I had concerns at the beginning and spoke with Viking customer service about my concerns and they were very good at reassuring me that I should not have any concerns.  Perhaps contact your cruise line?

[waldorf]

We did an Asian cruise earlier this year, (Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia & The Philippines) whilst we’re quite discreet we never encountered any problems. 

[Surfguyxxx]

We're headed to Singapore, Thailand and Malaysia this upcoming February, 2024.  I'm not too concerned myself as we don't "advertise" ourselves.  We go with the flow so to speak.  As this is our first time there, we'll book excursions on the ship that accommodate many people.

[CDNPolar]

12 minutes ago, Surfguyxxx said:

We're headed to Singapore, Thailand and Malaysia this upcoming February, 2024.  I'm not too concerned myself as we don't "advertise" ourselves.  We go with the flow so to speak.  As this is our first time there, we'll book excursions on the ship that accommodate many people.

 

You are doing exactly the right thing and I am certain that you will not have any problems.

 

I work directly with the Philippines, Singapore, Hong Kong, and Japan, and all these countries have rising gay cultures, but still we don't want to be "out and proud" as visitors.  

 

As you say - go with the flow.

 

We have done private tours in China - a driver and a guide - just my husband and I.  This also was not a problem for us to do because we are not PDA people anyway and although we are two men travelling together, because we are a mixed race couple I think we confuse people as to who and what we are anyway.  We are also "mixed age" too and it is not uncommon for us to be referred to as father and son.  Haha.  

[zitsky]

1 hour ago, CDNPolar said:

 

You are doing exactly the right thing and I am certain that you will not have any problems.

 

I work directly with the Philippines, Singapore, Hong Kong, and Japan, and all these countries have rising gay cultures, but still we don't want to be "out and proud" as visitors.  

 

As you say - go with the flow.

 

We have done private tours in China - a driver and a guide - just my husband and I.  This also was not a problem for us to do because we are not PDA people anyway and although we are two men travelling together, because we are a mixed race couple I think we confuse people as to who and what we are anyway.  We are also "mixed age" too and it is not uncommon for us to be referred to as father and son.  Haha.  

Does anyone ask if you are a couple?  What do you say?

[CDNPolar]

26 minutes ago, zitsky said:

Does anyone ask if you are a couple?  What do you say?

 

Ask in my work?  or ask when travelling?

 

In my work, I don't hide anything.  I work as my authentic self in every country that I interact with.  In that I mean that if the "relationship" with a colleague evolves to one where we are sharing anything that is personal, I will talk about my husband, or say things like "when my husband and I travelled here..."

 

I am in learning and development and often my relationships grow over time and it is not unusual for this information to come out.  

 

From a work perspective I am also very active on LinkedIn and I support and repost 2SLGBTQIA+ material and since I am also connected to all my international colleagues, they would see this active support.

I never hide anything work wise.

 

During travel, if we are on the cruise ship and someone asks, we are honest as well.

 

If we were on shore and someone local was asking, I would size up the situation and react accordingly.  It would all depend on why I thought that they were asking.  Each situation would have it's own response after assessing.

[zitsky]

1 hour ago, CDNPolar said:

 

Ask in my work?  or ask when travelling?

 

In my work, I don't hide anything.  I work as my authentic self in every country that I interact with.  In that I mean that if the "relationship" with a colleague evolves to one where we are sharing anything that is personal, I will talk about my husband, or say things like "when my husband and I travelled here..."

 

I am in learning and development and often my relationships grow over time and it is not unusual for this information to come out.  

 

From a work perspective I am also very active on LinkedIn and I support and repost 2SLGBTQIA+ material and since I am also connected to all my international colleagues, they would see this active support.

I never hide anything work wise.

 

During travel, if we are on the cruise ship and someone asks, we are honest as well.

 

If we were on shore and someone local was asking, I would size up the situation and react accordingly.  It would all depend on why I thought that they were asking.  Each situation would have it's own response after assessing.

Travel.  We were discussing travel.  I saw your recent reply just now.  That answers my question.

Edited July 16, 2023 by zitsky

[RICHARD@SEA]

whether I was travelling solo or w my partner & friends we always respected the customs / laws of where we were... 

 

certainly it's no one's business what your sexuality is about and ceratinly there are countries where its best left unsaid(Saudi Arabia comes to mind).  Random people in restaurants, bars or just walking down the street who ask should just be ignored.

Just be smart / savvy in your travels & be respectful of where you are visiting.