Spread ashes of loved one at sea

[cruzincurt]

Quote from the reference page: "Please note the requirement that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) be notified within 30 days after burial."

 

Why? Who came up with that rule?

 

I guess if you ain't paying taxes, you are considered pollution.

 

I like the idea of tossing the urn overboard. I told my DW to spread me on the beach in Key West but I like the idea of going overboard somewhere out in the Caribbean better.

[Nliedel]

I'm pretty sure the burial requirement is for whole, un-cremated bodies only. My stepmom has her mom's ashes in a box in the living room and has for three or four months now. My dad calls me once a week with the, "Dead mother in law from hades in my living room" issue. Sheesh! I just dread those calls. I told him I'd cremate him and put him on the mantle if he'd stop calling me about it already. I hate when they put me in the middle like that!

 

Anyway, the funeral home gave them to Patsy and told her to inter them when she was ready. Clearly she is not and I understand 100%

[Sheffie]

I told him I'd cremate him and put him on the mantle if he'd stop calling me about it already. I hate when they put me in the middle like that!

 

Nancy, you could always threaten to MIX his ashes with hers! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Doug&Suzy-Q]

Oh Michelle...that's bad:D

[msmayor]

My grandfather, grandmother, and her second husband all had their cremains 'buried' at sea.

 

As other posters have said, there are stringent laws governing this method of 'burial'. Trying to do this 'on the sly' is very risky indeed...the cruise line, the country who's coastline you are near and the EPA could possibly come down very hard on you if you are caught.

 

My parents found a boat captain who was quite familiar with both the laws and the customs regarding this type of burial. I can't remember if the ceremony was done at 2 or 3 miles out, but the captain performed a beautiful and traditional ceremony that included tossing an environmentally safe wreath into the water. In addition, the funeral home had to be notified prior to the cremation that the urn needed to meet the guidelines for a burial at sea (I believe it had a special seal, and was much heavier than a normal urn to ensure that it sank to the bottom).

 

It really is a beautiful tribute to a loved one who wished to be laid to rest in this manner, but if I were you I would make sure I followed all the proper rules to ensure its done with dignity.

[cruzincurt]

I was just thinking that I could have my DW stash some of my ashes on a cruise ship then I would have the ultimate, never ending B2B.

[CruiseNut7]

cruizincurt - I like your idea of the forever B2B by stashing some ashes onboard!

 

I posted earlier, but just remembered that when we thought we were going to take my dad's ashes on a ship and commit them at sea, we had the ashes placed in a biodegradable urn. It was a very attractive urn and you couldn't tell the difference from others - they look like faux marble or porcelin.

 

Biodegradable Cremation Urns

Biodegradable Cremation Urns are designed to be earth-friendly. The Urns (on the website) below can be buried, scattered or dissolved in water. Deep Water urns are made to float for 5 minutes before gracefully descending. Once on the ocean floor it will break down naturally.

 

Here is a website about them - they're really very nice - take a look:

http://www.perfectmemorials.com/biodegradable-urns-c-284.html?infoBox=2&osCsid=f5b5f993e5f94d7aed21ea83c17c6d81

 

Diane

[Musicman1024]

Terpnut made a critical point. Ashes cannot be spread just anywhere and I'm sure that local municipalities have laws about spreading them on a beach. The three mile limit for spreading them on the ocean are for specific reasons. I'm sure that other countries have laws regarding this practice. It sure would be a trip killer to be arrested in a foreign country for violating their laws.

[GrannyJ]

I've been taking my dad with me on vacations (cruises included) for 12 years now and leaving him, a pinch at a time, at various locations that he loved or would have loved. For example, my husband and I took him with us on a trip to Hawaii and left a pinch of ashes beside a volcanic vent, along with a few dimes and an airline bottle of gin (Madame Pele, the volcano goddess, apparently adores silver and gin). My husband said, "OK, Pop, take the old girl out for dinner and drinks and maybe you'll get lucky tonight". I swear I could hear my dad laughing.

 

When my husband died earlier this year, I scattered some of his ashes at his favorite bass fishing spot. I just got back from a trip out west, where I scattered his ashes (and my dad's -- they were great buddies and I feel good that they're together) in a beautiful waterfall, in a gorgeous mountain lake, from the top of a lighthouse on the Pacific coast, and off the back of a Washington state ferryboat. I figure I have about 25 more years of travelin' in me, so I can take the boys to a few more places. I just hope that my granddaughter, who loves traveling, will do the same with me when my time comes.

[Sheffie]

I've been taking my dad with me on vacations (cruises included) for 12 years now and leaving him, a pinch at a time, at various locations that he loved or would have loved. For example, my husband and I took him with us on a trip to Hawaii and left a pinch of ashes beside a volcanic vent, along with a few dimes and an airline bottle of gin (Madame Pele, the volcano goddess, apparently adores silver and gin). My husband said, "OK, Pop, take the old girl out for dinner and drinks and maybe you'll get lucky tonight". I swear I could hear my dad laughing.

 

When my husband died earlier this year, I scattered some of his ashes at his favorite bass fishing spot. I just got back from a trip out west, where I scattered his ashes (and my dad's -- they were great buddies and I feel good that they're together) in a beautiful waterfall, in a gorgeous mountain lake, from the top of a lighthouse on the Pacific coast, and off the back of a Washington state ferryboat. I figure I have about 25 more years of travelin' in me, so I can take the boys to a few more places. I just hope that my granddaughter, who loves traveling, will do the same with me when my time comes.

 

What a great story! I am sitting here smiling, with tears in my eyes. You are a lucky woman to have had two such great men in your life, and they were lucky to have you!

[GrannyJ]

What a great story! I am sitting here smiling, with tears in my eyes. You are a lucky woman to have had two such great men in your life, and they were lucky to have you!

 

Thanks. My family doesn't believe in sad funerals. Pop's was held at his favorite beach at sunset, with a luau, bonfire, fireworks and, of course, lots of food and booze. (He actually wanted a Viking funeral but the coast guard frowns upon burning boats floating around popular beaches....)

 

My husband's memorial service was held at his favorite fish camp on his favorite lake with a BBQ and a lot of laughing and tears (they do go together, don't they....)

 

I plan to have mine in the shoe department at Dillard's, followed perhaps with a mass pilgrimage to Macy's, Neiman Marcus and Target.

[Walterswife]

Spreading the ashes from the ship is a bad idea. They will never reach the water. I would suggest Finding out what the rules are and taking a private tour. Itwon't cost that much more than the ship's shore excursion.

 

Whatever you decide, just remember to travel with your documents from the crematory or funeral home. TSA took me through some changes a few months ago when I had my mother's cremains in my carry-on luggage. They had to double-check for DRUGS. They told me it happens frequently.

[cruzincurt]

GrannyJ,

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I think it's great idea and tribute rather than being planted in a box in the ground. After all the bible say ashes to ashes.

 

This is a subject we all need to talk about. Several years ago, as I was being wheeled down the hall for some significant surgery, I realized I had never really disscussed this with my DW. I told her, if things don't go as planned, sue the hospital and the doctor, have me turned into ashes, and dump me in the waters off Key West. I like your idea of spreading a bit here and there.

 

Well, things turned out OK; she's still stuck with me and we have increased our cruise count to two per year with a eye to upping to three per year.

[BearySweet2Cruise]

Maybe another option would be to choose a favorite port of the departed and go ashore and scatter the ashes in an appropriate place (beach, park, etc?) I have a friend who recently did this in Cancun.

 

To scatter them from the ship you'd probably have to do it when not moving. I've watched many cigarette butts flying back towards the ship when others tossed them off the side.

 

Cheryl

 

That is exactly what I was going to suggest.. take him to a port and go to a private place, say some prayers and have a small memorial in serenity.

 

I told my family to donate me to the University of Fla for scientific research ( I am a nurse) but the ashes in the ocean sounds pretty nice too since I live for cruising! :)

[GrannyJ]

 

I told my family to donate me to the University of Fla for scientific research ( I am a nurse) but the ashes in the ocean sounds pretty nice too since I live for cruising! :)

 

You can actually do both. My husband's eyes, skin, and some bones/tendons/ligaments were donated to the tissue bank. Cremation followed.

[bdcbbq]

I told my family to donate me to the University of Fla for scientific research ( I am a nurse) but the ashes in the ocean sounds pretty nice too since I live for cruising! :)

 

While giving my parents a 50th anniversary party a few years ago, they told me they wanted to donate their bodies to the Univesity of Kansas Medical School. While out and about the next day I found a T-Shirt that said "Property of KU Medical School", Guess what dad got for Father's Day!

 

He wore it when he went and turned in the paperwork. We were trying to figure out how he could be wearing the shirt when they sheet was pulled off in anatomy class. :D

[BaltiGator]

I told my family to donate me to the University of Fla for scientific research ( I am a nurse) but the ashes in the ocean sounds pretty nice too since I live for cruising! :)

 

Although, if your remains are donated to UF you'll be a Gator forever! :cool:

[BearySweet2Cruise]

Although, if your remains are donated to UF you'll be a Gator forever! :cool:

 

True already am and always will be a gator! :)

[BaltiGator]

True already am and always will be a gator! :)

 

:cool: