Spread ashes of loved one at sea

[ccNVcpl]

We're wondering what policy the cruise lines have about spreading the ashes of a loved one (avid cruiser) in the open sea. Are there international laws regulating this? Do the cruise lines even permit this - or would they even know :cool: ? Other than being careful about which way the wind is blowing - how would u go about it? Please - this is a serious inquiry.

[LHT28]

another option is http://www.eternalreefs.com/

[lougee1043]

i personally would do it very quietly at nite without telling anyone --

[CruiseNut7]

I'm pretty sure the cruiselines won't let you "officially" cast ashes at sea. If it were me, I'd do it quietly at night.

 

Before my dad left us a few years ago (also an avid cruiser), we discussed it and he wanted the family to take a cruise after his demise -AND take him with us too so we could commit his ashes at sea. We decided otherwise, but at the time found out that the cruiseline would not allow us to do so.

 

I like the Eternity Reef idea (thanks, Lyn) - just may have to discuss that with my family. Can't make plans too soon - BUT I have LOTS of cruises to take before that happens! :)

[wrp96]

I would be very careful about dumping anything over the side of the ship, no matter how well meaning you are. If you get caught, that is grounds to be thrown off the ship, at least on RCCL, probably on other lines as well.

[JLC@SD]

I would be very careful about dumping anything over the side of the ship, no matter how well meaning you are. If you get caught, that is grounds to be thrown off the ship, at least on RCCL, probably on other lines as well.

 

And.........casting ashes off the side of a ship probably will result in the ashes blown back at you. The wind will swirl and ashes will float in the wind, blowing against the ship and back onto the ship.

 

When I simply spread ashes of my stepfather on the ground.......it was difficult to do it without them blowing back at me.........with very little wind.

[Doug&Suzy-Q]

Thank you for this thread.....after visiting my in-laws, who are 89 & 85 yrs.....my DH & I did a serious discussion regarding this subject.

 

We had spoken of it before, but we wondered the same thing about the ship. If this was not possible, I said I want a beach where I can come & go with the tide.

 

And who knows what part of the world I would end up in.

 

Thanks for all the comments.

[Nliedel]

If you'd like to do this, and I think it's a lovely idea, how about just casting some of the ashes. There are a surprising amount of ashes when someone is cremated. If you just take a small amount then you can do it very quietly.

[greatdanemom]

Maybe another option would be to choose a favorite port of the departed and go ashore and scatter the ashes in an appropriate place (beach, park, etc?) I have a friend who recently did this in Cancun.

 

To scatter them from the ship you'd probably have to do it when not moving. I've watched many cigarette butts flying back towards the ship when others tossed them off the side.

 

Cheryl

[missyal]

Friends of mine wanted to do this on a recent Caribbean cruise. What they decided to do was to charter a boat for a day trip in the islands( I think it was in St. Thomas) and expalin to the captain what they wanted to do. The captain took them to a beautiful private cove and let them take all the time they wanted there. Everyone said it was ver special. It was private, not rushed or done under secret of night. Just a suggestion.

 

Missyal

[Robb]

We were on a cruise a couple of years ago and one of our dinner mates did this. His wife had really wanted to go on the cruise and unfortunately died before the time of the cruise. She wanted him to go ahead and take the trip. At each of the ports we visited he left the ship and sprinkled some of her ashes. I am not sure exactly how he arranged it but it was very special to him.

 

respectfully,

[Sheffie]

Here on CC I remember reading about it being done on a cruise. From my recollection, one of the crew assisted the family in the spreading of the ashes. It was done in a very respectful, dignified way. I wish I remembered more! Hopefully someone with personal knowledge will post. I would say to call RCI, but you know how many answers you will get from them! (A different one from each person you call!)

[momofmeg]

I'm pretty sure the cruiselines won't let you "officially" cast ashes at sea. If it were me, I'd do it quietly at night.

 

Before my dad left us a few years ago (also an avid cruiser), we discussed it and he wanted the family to take a cruise after his demise -AND take him with us too so we could commit his ashes at sea. We decided otherwise, but at the time found out that the cruiseline would not allow us to do so.

 

I like the Eternity Reef idea (thanks, Lyn) - just may have to discuss that with my family. Can't make plans too soon - BUT I have LOTS of cruises to take before that happens! :)

 

 

My husband wants this done if I outlive him. What I told him I would do-so as not to go through the red tape, is rent a motor boat and go out in the ocean so far and do this.

 

Why not do that? you could do this the day BEFORE you embark on your cruise.

[lougee1043]

would it be disrespectful if the entire urn was dropped off the side of the ship intact -----or replacing the top of the urn with paper or saran wrap and dropping the urn overboard-- the paper or saran wrap would come off due to the sea water and the ashes would be exposed to the ocean and tides----or must the ashes be actually spread on the water

[Sheffie]

would it be disrespectful if the entire urn was dropped off the side of the ship intact -----or replacing the top of the urn with paper or saran wrap and dropping the urn overboard-- the paper or saran wrap would come off due to the sea water and the ashes would be exposed to the ocean and tides----or must the ashes be actually spread on the water

 

I don't think it would be disrespectful. I would be sure to NOT use Saran Wrap as that could be swallowed by a sea creature and kill them though.

[cruisinbuddy]

would it be disrespectful if the entire urn was dropped off the side of the ship intact -----or replacing the top of the urn with paper or saran wrap and dropping the urn overboard-- the paper or saran wrap would come off due to the sea water and the ashes would be exposed to the ocean and tides----or must the ashes be actually spread on the water

 

My Idea for DW to do this for me was to take some of the ashes and put them in something that would disintegrate shortly after hitting the water, kleenex or paper towel with just a bit of tape to hold it together till it hit's the water. You don't want it to stay together too long, because if a fish eats it you might end up being fish poop.LOL

[kitty9]

I really don't think that you want your loved one's ashes being blown back on the ship and then onto the balconies where everyone will be stepping on it. To me, that's disrespectful. Because of that, you can't throw the ashes off a moving, or for that matter, a docked ship. Winds are always blowing and those ashes are going to go on places that you might not want them to. Take a shore excursion to a beach, and then put the ashes in the water at that point.

[LHT28]

I like the Eternity Reef idea (thanks, Lyn) - just may have to discuss that with my family. Can't make plans too soon - BUT I have LOTS of cruises to take before that happens! :)

 

Yes me too!!

I think their H.O. is in Atlanta so you are close by just incase! ;)

[Terpnut]

Everybody should know that there are federal (http://www.epa.gov/region4/water/oceans/burial.htm) and possibly local laws that govern the practice of spreading cremated ashes. In our state, for example, it is illegal to just walk out to your back yard and spread someone's ashes. According to the EPA, you can spread ashes from a ship as long as it is more than 3 miles offshore. Make sure you are not breaking the law.

[Southbound]

LYN, Many thanks for this link. These fellows really came up with a great idea -- a memorial that keeps on giving and living.:)

[Guest kookylabooka]

Friends of mine wanted to do this on a recent Caribbean cruise. What they decided to do was to charter a boat for a day trip in the islands( I think it was in St. Thomas) and expalin to the captain what they wanted to do. The captain took them to a beautiful private cove and let them take all the time they wanted there. Everyone said it was ver special. It was private, not rushed or done under secret of night. Just a suggestion.

 

Missyal

 

What a touching and beautiful thing !!!!!!!!!!!

[Steamboatin]

This is going to be a cold and unthinkable thing to do but one of our neighbors actually did it.

 

This is what one of our neighbor who at the time lived across the street from us did to her deceased husband.

 

She had a U.S. Coast Guard sea burial in full compliance with the law as noted in the previously linked website.

 

But what she did that got to us was to pay for this she first had a Dentist to remove all of his gold teeth fillings and than sold the gold to pay for the trip and burial.

 

Thus his burial was "free" compliments to his gold teeth fillings.

[Doug&Suzy-Q]

Crusinbuddy: This is my idea as to why I don't want traditional burial...I do not want a dog walking by peeing on me...weird..I know..but I can't help it..

Robb & Missyal: This sounds like it works for me. I love the idea of several ports..wow. Why I never thought of this!

I will now tell my DH my further requests. And this wll be official.

Thanks again everyone...

OH...if I miss spell or what ever...I can't see...my glasses broke yesterday & it will be 2-3 days for replacements....sorrry..I am just winging it today...

[sweetpea-2]

think the best way to go about it, is quietly....do it late at night and not say a word to anyone....these things are just better off left this way, get it accomplished without issues

[kitty9]

sweetpea, that's not good advice. Nowadays, with all the problems on cruise ships, they are putting in a lot of security cameras everywhere, so trying to sneak pouring anything in the ocean without anyone seeing is difficult, and as I said before, on a moving ship, all the ashes will be blown back onto all the balconies, so that's not a good idea.