"Babysitting" for seniors?

[serendipity1499]

Fann1sh...Hope that You, your Dad & your Mom have a wonderful cruise! You have planned well for your Mom & Dad's cruise..

 

My own dear Mother also had Dementia & Parkinson's & passed away 10 years ago..I only wish that we could have taken her on a cruise, as know she would have loved it..I took her on her first flight when she was 65 to California & later to Europe..She loved it even though she was scared..She even charmed the Captain who had come back into the cabin ..He sat with her for almost an hour & they talked about Antigue's..Those were the days when the Flight Crew could leave the cockpit for a break... This is a fond remembrance I have of her..

 

You mentioned that you were looking into a wheelchair...If you plan on using a HAL wheelchair, just so you know, HAL will not allow you to take it off the ship for shore excursions..

 

On the Westerdam Trans-Atlantic we traveled with a lady who needed a wheelchair on board & should also have had a wheelchair while off the ship...But HAL would not permit her to take it off the ship..It was very difficult for her to get around...The next cruise her DH was able to rent a smaller collapsible wheelchair for her use on & off the ship from a local Medical store..

 

You might want to check into that before you leave...

 

Bless you all & have a wonderful time! :) Betty

 

P.S. Take lots of pictures & if you have time keep a journal of this trip..It will help you to always remember the little things..

[Sinbad37]

fann1sh,

It brings back many memories to those many of us who have experienced what you and your Father are going through.

Lots of good suggestions here for you and your Mom!

Your Mom is fortunate to be physically fit enough to enjoy travel.

 

The "companion" wheelchair is something we have cruised with now for several cruises. Major back surgeries had made that necessary for DH when we first found you could not take the ship's chairs ashore. We found leasing by the month to be cost effective. Our pharmacy both delivers and picks up the chair for us. It is foldable, and I am the "motor".

 

While aboard you will be offered "chair motor duties" by every one from the room steward to the officers! Mom may even enjoy the special attention. Makes for good photo op! :D

 

God Bless your journey and you! Smooth Seas.

[gooselace]

You mentioned that you were looking into a wheelchair...If you plan on using a HAL wheelchair, just so you know, HAL will not allow you to take it off the ship for shore excursions..

Actually I - not the OP - was the one who mentioned a wheelchair, specifically the balloon-wheeled beach chairs available on HMC. It's my impression that the OPs mother is able to walk quite well, but uneven or unfamiliar terrain such as the sandy beach can be challenging for someone with even mild dementia.

 

 

[serendipity1499]

You mentioned that you were looking into a wheelchair...If you plan on using a HAL wheelchair, just so you know, HAL will not allow you to take it off the ship for shore excursions..

 

Actually I - not the OP - was the one who mentioned a wheelchair, specifically the balloon-wheeled beach chairs available on HMC. It's my impression that the OPs mother is able to walk quite well, but uneven or unfamiliar terrain such as the sandy beach can be challenging for someone with even mild dementia.

 

Actually gooselace I realize you mentioned a wheelchair on HMC, but I was also refering to her answer to you when she said;

" As a former phys ed teacher, she's fit, toned and VERY mobile, but can suddenly want to sit down, so I'll check into the wheelchair. "

Figured if they were going to take her sightseeing, they might want to look into a wheelchair they can take ashore with them, considering that her Mom might suddenly wish to sit down..

Cheers..:) Betty

[osiebosie]

Fann1sh,

 

I am the owner of a business that does senior care. Many of my clients have alz.

 

First, I would suggest you check with your local Alzheimer's Association chapter and pick their brains for any tips. They may come up with something your doctor has left out.

 

Alot of times the key to working with Alz is redirect, redirect, redirect. Maybe you have something from home you could bring that is soothing for your mom (ie. a picture, a piece of jewelry, her wallet, etc.) We had a client who would tend to get physical, and all we needed to do was mention a little child (look at that little girl on the tv!) and she was redirected and all she was upset about was forgotten.

 

Obviously, you could hire a company like mine, but I wouldn't. It would cost you quite a bit. I think you'll have a wonderful time with your mother. It may be trying at times, but it will be well worth it. If only all of my clients had adult children like you who cared.

 

All of the advice I've read here is good advice. The alz. assoc. (at least here in Tennessee) has a program for lost seniors, where they wear an identifying bracelet. That may be a thought for you also. Like the medic alert bracelets someone mentioned earlier, but a step further.

 

Be sure and have a picture taken your mom can look at.

 

I am sure you will have a wonderful cruise. It may be trying at times, but well worth it. I hope my children will treat me that way when I get there!

 

Shay

 

 

p.s. As I was clicking on the button for my post, I noticed the advertisement directly above: Lifeline Medical Alerts! I had a chuckle for that one!

[fann1sh]

Again - thanks all - I don't plan on a wheelchair for everyday for Mom, and I really doubt she'll want to go on any "real" excursion. Balloon tired chair might be useful on HMC, or maybe just take the folding walker-with-a-seat we have kicking around from the time she broke her kneecap. Driving to the port makes baggage so much more flexible.

 

Tinknock50, you had me puddling up, too!

 

Osiebosie, thanks so much for the (professional) advice on redirecting....we haven't had much success with it yet. Mom always did have a whim of iron, and her tenaciousness hasn't changed any. We'll keep looking for a trigger that works.

[Starr Mtn]

It's so nice to read all your planning efforts on behalf of your Mother. Sounds as though you will all have the best cruise you can.

 

One suggestion, based on a previous experience. And you previously

have probably already thought of this. Be sure to introduce your lovely Mom to the Concierge in the Neptune Lounge and explain the situation.

On a previous cruise I met a delightful lady who was obviously experiencing

a bit of dimentia, and in the hallway it became obvious she was a bit lost. I dropped into the Neptune Lounge and explained what I had observed and someone quickly was available to help her.

[fann1sh]

Thanks again for another helpful idea. Mom loves meeting people, and I'll make sure she meets our concierge as soon as possible after we board. While I'm thrilled with the deck 5 aft suite I booked, one problem with our location is we're 2 decks away from the Neptune (which is on deck 7). Makes me wonder, if I'm offered an upgrade or upsell, whether I should take it.....but, that 5186 balcony...!

[spindrift]

Fann1sh - Have a wonderful trip. I am so impressed by all the answers. You are definitely on the right track with all of your back-up. Isn't it great that you have "the world" to ask and you are brave enough to do so. My heart and thoughts will be with you. You will LOVE this trip.

[Sinbad37]

Thanks again for another helpful idea. Mom loves meeting people, and I'll make sure she meets our concierge as soon as possible after we board. While I'm thrilled with the deck 5 aft suite I booked, one problem with our location is we're 2 decks away from the Neptune (which is on deck 7). Makes me wonder, if I'm offered an upgrade or upsell, whether I should take it.....but, that 5186 balcony...!

 

Certainly a matter of choice - But we so enjoyed our starboard aft cabin on the Westerdam that I would not personally give it up. You will LOVE the size of the balcony. We had table with four chairs for dining - two lovely lounge chairs with ottomans - a small side table - Plus full lounger for sunning on deck. We enjoy breakfest delivered and our service was superior, on time and hot! Sunrises and sunsets were breathtaking!

 

That was our first full aft suite and now I am wondering if we should have done it this year as opposed to one near the NL! I know we will miss the beautiful views and will not spend as much time on the balcony. Most seem concerned about motion. We had no extra "rockin or rollin".

 

I would have been happy to adopt our Room Steward.:D You need to let yours know of you concerns for Mom so you will have an exta feeling of serenity knowing he is alerted.

 

However, should they give you an upgrade to the Penthouse ... :confused: You will get back to us won't you? :D

[kryos]

This would be fairly expensive but if you have a caring family member or friend that you could help pay for, this might be the best option.

I too think the OP is a wonderful, caring daughter to do something like this for her mom. And, I, too would suggest that it could be a good idea to see if another family member would like to come along ... maybe a mature college-aged family member ... someone who would love to take a cruise, but is on a limited budget. You could offer to "help them out" with covering some of their cruise costs in return for them assisting with keeping mom company on occasion so you and your dad could do a few excursions, maybe have a quiet lunch, etc.

 

You are really good to do this for your parents, but then you have to remember ... it's a vacation for you and your dad too ... and it would be nice to be able to do a few things together that maybe your mom can't quite manage. The family member helping out could then spend that time with mom, letting you and dad go off for a while.

 

I doubt Ship's Services are gonna be able to help you in this regard with adult "babysitting." Frankly, I'm surprised they even allow staff to do it for children. I would be very skittish about allowing a stranger ... any stranger ... in my cabin alone with a child. I would be very skittish as the staff member to be in a guest cabin alone with their children. Too much chance for problems ... accusations, etc. That's why I think it's best to use a trusted family member for this sort of thing. It's a better idea all around.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[arabrab]

What a wonderful daughter you are.

 

I also think that it is a great idea to explore options for assistance on board. People who have never cared for an adult with memory or brain damage issues have no idea of the unrelenting demands of 24 hour support for a loved one. Even if you don't need to use it, just knowing what might be available could be a relief.

 

A few options you might want to consider:

 

1. Speak privately with your cabin steward and your waiter. You won't be the first person accompanying an adult with an issue like this, but if they know they'll be better able to support you.

2. Everyone in your party wearing the lanyards is a good idea, but how about adding something (a large enough sticker, perhaps) so that you're all visibly part of the same group. The same sticker on a door sign might also be helpful. Others will recognize that your part of a group, and if your mom does become separated you have a better chance that someone will recognize her. (An older lady vs. an older lady with a Sponge Bob Square Pants sticker.)

3. My mom was a lot more social and engaged with others in the morning, so breakfast or luch would have been good social meals in a dining room for her. Dinner wasn't her time, and I wouldn't have suggested dinner outside our suite. Even having our own table in the dining room wouldn't have changed this decision.

4. The cabin safe is an excellent place to store drugs.

5. My mom would have found muster drill very upsetting -- large numbers of people, loud noises, and certainly unfamiliar circumstances. I'd ask special services about this and find out if there is a quieter option for her.

 

Best of luck, and I hope you take away wonderful memories of this trip.

[Charliesmom]

I suggest that you either buy or rent walkie-talkies so that you and your father can be in touch with each other when you are on the ship. That way, if one of you is with your mother, you can be in touch with the other.

 

My children used these with their children when they were younger - and might still do so.

 

It certainly would cut down on the amount of anxious moments you might have.

 

Roberta

[w&k]

All of you are making me tear up remembering my Mom's last cruise.

 

I was the caregiver for my mother, and she loved to cruise with DH and I (I got the upper bunk for those trips, which was always good for a laugh).

 

Mom was under the care of Hospice, and she was feeling up to a trip, so I flew one of her good friends in from Idaho, and took the two of them on a cruise on the RCCL Sovereign (DH chickened out). The two of them hadn't been on a 'girls only' trip since they were in their 20's...a long, long time ago.

 

I had a great time towing my two elderly 'girls' about on the ship, as neither of them were quite steady on their feet. Mom was stewed to the gills on pain meds, and her friend was deaf as a post, so they had some very entertaining conversations!

 

As it turned out, Mom passed away one month later - still talking to everyone about her trip with the 'girls'.

 

I wish you the same wonderful memories that I have.

 

Wendy

[Tinknock50]

All of you are making me tear up remembering my Mom's last cruise.

 

I was the caregiver for my mother, and she loved to cruise with DH and I (I got the upper bunk for those trips, which was always good for a laugh).

 

Mom was under the care of Hospice, and she was feeling up to a trip, so I flew one of her good friends in from Idaho, and took the two of them on a cruise on the RCCL Sovereign (DH chickened out). The two of them hadn't been on a 'girls only' trip since they were in their 20's...a long, long time ago.

 

I had a great time towing my two elderly 'girls' about on the ship, as neither of them were quite steady on their feet. Mom was stewed to the gills on pain meds, and her friend was deaf as a post, so they had some very entertaining conversations!

 

As it turned out, Mom passed away one month later - still talking to everyone about her trip with the 'girls'.

 

I wish you the same wonderful memories that I have.

 

Wendy

 

Wendy...very sorry for your loss.

 

What a wonderful thing that you could cruise with your Mom and she enjoyed it so much. You went the extra mile for her and for that you should give yourself a great deal of credit.