Cruise Critic Blogs Live from Bloggers' Cruise!

[nycruises]

Erica Thanks for this description!!! Mission accomplish!!! im very happy for John. He deserves it. I was lucky to get to speak to him on the phone during this party and he told me it has been great and full of surprises. I was part of Big Ed evil crew (although i was not going)and I knew everything about this.I also did a page for the scrapbook. Thank you for telling me it was a success.

Nanette (Nanni)

 

Nanette,

The crew tried to call me 4 times today and i couldn't answer any due to work :( so send me a update about what I missed in the phone calls via the normal means.

 

Kevin

[nycruises]

erica if you could please send me the pics you of the bloggers cruise i would like to have them for big ed he is my father could you send them to this add ck122@comcast.net thank you chad konefe if you doubt me on who i am just ask him he will well not willing to admit that im his chad

 

Chad,

It is a pleasure to meet the person who gave ED such great Grandchildren. You are a lucky man to be his son sir. We all spent months planing for today and even though i was not there they did try to call me even Roberto I think tried once. Sadly I could not speak with them today do to work. You should be very proud of your father and I hope to see you on the 2009 bloggers cruise with them.

Kevin

The good one with a Aston Martin

 

PS I think your dad is mad at me at the moment the thing i was going to send him got very confused in the mail and came back to me. Let him know if you speak with him.

[clutchcurrier]

Erica,

 

Your tour actually sounds like all in all it was alot of fun. Even though it wasn't as you planned it, these are the types of tours you will remember best. Been following John's blog since the beginning. Never been on a Carinval ship, but maybe someday. Hopefully John will be the CD.

[clutchcurrier]

Erica,

 

Your tour actually sounds like all in all it was alot of fun. Even though it wasn't as you planned it, these are the types of tours you will remember best. Been following John's blog since the beginning. Never been on a Carinval ship, but maybe someday. Hopefully John will be the CD.

[LHP]

I would love to see the pictures of the dog house in seeing I designed that cake here in NY and sent plans with my evil crew mates who are sailing without me on the crusie for the chef to re-create.

 

Kevin

 

That dog and the doghouse is a HOOT!!!!!

 

Just from the one picture I saw...it was VERY well done.

 

Great idea, Kevin!! Next year will be our turn!!!!

[*Mach*]

That dog and the doghouse is a HOOT!!!!!

 

Just from the one picture I saw...it was VERY well done.

 

Great idea, Kevin!! Next year will be our turn!!!!

 

Are you booked yet???

[CruisinGloria]

Thanks for keeping us up to date on the Bloggers Cruise Erica. I'm enjoying your stories very much! :) Gloria

[Erica@cruisecritic]

Today was a mix of the sublime and the ridiculous. The sublime: Lying on the beach in Grand Cayman while the sun shown for the *gasp* second day in a row. My friend and I tried to find the right metaphor for how nice the sand on Seven Mile Beach is. Soft as powder? Soft as a baby's bottom? Soft as the Carnival Comfort Bed? We couldn't do better than softer than any sand you've ever felt. I'm open to suggestions.

 

The ridiculous: Lunch at Margaritaville. I'm not sure what we had in mind for lunch, but the 10 happily intoxicated Carnival cruisers who piled into our taxi wanted to go to Margaritaville so that's where the cab driver dropped us off. I was too hungry to look for alternatives, so we wended our way past diamond stores, rum-cake bakeries, and racks of Margaritaville logowear to the restaurant.

 

The food is pretty good for a chain restaurant but the real attraction is the entertainment. We watched our fellow diners compete in a beer chugging contest, complete with shouts of "chug chug chug!" and "keep going!" from the DJ. Even better was the contest where couples had to pop three balloons by pressing the balloons between their bodies in vaguely sexual positions. The ever-enthusiastic DJ was even more enthusiastic when two women came onstage to give the task a try. Ah, the fun of Margaritaville!

 

I don't believe there are any blogger events today. Poor John is probably so shell-shocked from his surprise party that he needs a break from being adored. He admitted that though he spends much of his time in the limelight, he actually gets flustered when people make a big fuss over him. He'll have to get used to that if he plans on hosting more bloggers cruises!

 

Tonight is the guest talent show, hosted by John, which I'll report on after the fact. I've learned that on a Carnival cruise, the passengers provide much of the entertainment so I'm eager to see how they embarass themselves, er, I mean, perform. Tomorrow is the Bloggers Cruise Jamaican Beach Bash, and I promise to take lots of pictures.

 

I'll leave you with a fun sign seen on a blogger's cabin door. Unfortunately, the preteen son of said blogger caught me taking this photo at two in the morning. He must've thought I was insane, but he was too polite to say anything. Then again, what was he doing awake at 2 am?

[alinehu]

Erica Dont miss tonight's talent show!! After it if the famous bedtime story.

you cant imagine how it is with John. Wear Depends. :)

[matt690]

Hi Erica,

 

I'm really enjoying your live posts. Sounds like you are really enjoying the Fredom.

 

Just a few questions as we may be cruising either the Liberty or Fredom soon...

 

- Does the big screen take away from the poolside entertainment? RCCL really scaled back from the live pool reggae band, and we are hoping that Carnival has not done the same (and that the TV does not take away from the band and other live entertainment). How is the band, and do they play often?

 

- If you get a chance, when you speak to the headwaiter or Maitre'd... maybe you can ask if a waiter named Roberto Dejesus is aboard the Freedom. If not, I don't know if that have a way of checking if he is aboard the Liberty... we had him years ago and know he is still with Carnival... we would love to sail with him again.

 

Thanks for taking the time to report live from the ship. Enjoy the rest of the cruise!

[snoopy122]

kevin not mad probly sad it did not get there

[editor@cruisecritic]

Erica, your post about Ed's Evil Blogger Crew and John's Birthday was absolutely fantastic...clearly such thought, humor and insight went into the choices and I haven't laughed this hard in ages -- thanks for sharing!

 

Carolyn

 

Carolyn Spencer Brown

Editor in Chief

Cruise Critic

 

I’m skipping Day 3 momentarily, so I can post about the most heartfelt expression of love I just witnessed. A core group of bloggers, self-named “Ed’s Evil Blogger Crew” and led by Big Ed, have spent the weeks up until this cruise organizing a surprise party for John Heald’s birthday. The big day was today, and John couldn’t help but be touched by the outpouring of good will, fun, and sugar-free jellybeans that was showered upon him.

John entered the Victoriana Lounge expecting to find a flooded backstage and instead found applauding fans and a giant cake in the shape of a dog and a doghouse. The reference is to John always commenting that wife Heidi has put him in the doghouse for doing something bad.

Big Ed then took the microphone, and the bloggers presented John with birthday gifts. First came John’s favorite sugar-free jellybeans. As Heald typically claims these snacks give him gas, the bloggers all donned surgical masks then presented him with a warning sign for his cabin and a smell-o-meter to rate the severity of his odors.

The bloggers then gave John a big greeting card signed by everyone, T-shirts with his and Heidi’s pictures on them and dredlocks photoshopped in, a photo album, and a scrapbook with pages from each Evil Crewmember. They even gave Heidi a charm bracelet with charms of all the home states of the bloggers and Ed a special “Captain of the Evil Crew” hat as thanks for organizing the effort.

John was so touched that he teared up and said, “This was the most special thing a group of people have ever done for me in my 20-plus years at sea.”

 

[i've got great photos of this event but am having some difficulty uploading them. I'm hoping Melissa will be able to help me out, so stay tuned for them and the skipped-over day in Cozumel.]

[snoopy122]

[nycruises]

Erica, your post about Ed's Evil Blogger Crew and John's Birthday was absolutely fantastic...clearly such thought, humor and insight went into the choices and I haven't laughed this hard in ages -- thanks for sharing!

 

Carolyn

 

Carolyn Spencer Brown

Editor in Chief

Cruise Critic

 

Ms. Brown,

As one of the Big Ed's Evil Blogger Crew members who sadly couldn't attend we all thank you for your enjoyment of our planning and if you really want a greater laff I have over 3000 emails i can send to you. Now those are some truely funny emails

 

Kevin

[LHP]

Thanks Erica....this has been treat to read since we could not be there.

We will be with John and Heidi on the Imagination on Monday and are looking forward to hearing all about the fun in full detail!!

 

Are they having the Passenger Talent Show (Old fashioned kind) or the Legends Show?

[Erica@cruisecritic]

Just wanted to make a quick post to respond to everyone else's posts.

 

Chad, I will definitely send you the photos. I'll send them once I'm home, if that's OK with you.

 

Kevin, I'm attaching another doghouse cake photo for you, just in case the above one isn't enough.

 

7continentKaren, I asked John last night and he said in January 2009 he's doing a short stint on the Carnival Freedom for just that month. He'd love to have you cruise with him!

 

Matt690, I haven't spent too much time at the pool during this cruise. It seems that there's a mix between the reggae band, games like the Hairy Man Contest, and concerts and movies on the big screen. I can tell you that there's tons of live entertainment throughout the ship, and all of the musicians are impressively talented. I'll check about your waiter and report back.

 

LHP, last night was the traditional talent show mixed with John's bedtime story (I'll blog about that this afternoon). I believe that tomorrow is the Legends show.

[editor@cruisecritic]

Kevin, it's a great thought but oh my, please don't send me 3,000 emails, I think my computer would blow up (or my brain would).... But if there are a handful particularly funny -- and we can post them, I'd be happy to!

 

Wish I were onboard....

 

Carolyn

 

Carolyn Spencer Brown

Editor in Chief

Cruise Critic

 

Ms. Brown,

As one of the Big Ed's Evil Blogger Crew members who sadly couldn't attend we all thank you for your enjoyment of our planning and if you really want a greater laff I have over 3000 emails i can send to you. Now those are some truely funny emails

 

Kevin

[Erica@cruisecritic]

Last night was the guest talent show, which was disappointing because all the guests were truly talented. I was hoping for bad magic tricks or silly skits. The first three singers were accomplished musicians, and the fourth (who also played the piano) was so good that John Heald stood onstage and tried to convince corporate to hire him to work in the ship's piano bar. But the real highlight of the show was John's bedtime story.

 

John was not supposed to do his bedtime story on this cruise, but the bloggers made such a fuss that he added it in just for them. For those of you who have never seen this act, I'll try to describe it here. Words probably cannot do justice to how hilarious it was.

 

The premise is that John is telling a story with audience participation. Guests seated in the theater become the sound effect team, saying "woooo" when the wind blows, "tinkle tinkle tinkle" when the rain falls, and "bang bang" when shots are heard. But every story needs main characters so John heads into the aisles to find a heroine, a hero, and a villain. For his heroine, he picks a woman who is sound asleep in the 10th row. For his villain, he picks the guy who has to do the love dance every time he hears John say "Michigan," and for the hero, he picks the non-English speaker, Mr. Poo. (If you don't recognize these characters, read my blog entry from the welcome show.)

 

As you might expect, the story does not go as planned. The heroine is supposed to scream "Help me! Save me!" but when practicing her dramatic moment, she starts jumping up and down with John, eventually knocking him down, straddling him, and bouncing up and down on him while the band plays "You Can't Touch This" and John struggles to escape. By the time he shakes her off, his suspenders have come loose, his pants are falling down, and he's lost a shoe. The poor guy has a bad ankle, and I was actually worried he wouldn't make it through the rest of the show. When he asks the naughty heroine what the heck she thought she was doing, she looks all innocent and responds, "Well, you said to put a bit of bounce in it!"

 

After banishing the overly enthusiastic heroine to her chair, John tries to teach Michigan Guy his villain part, which he, of course, gets wrong. He yells,"I'm going to kill you with venom!" rather than "I'm going to kill you" with venom in his voice. John's reaction: "Are you going to hit her over the head with a snake?"

 

Then there's Mr. Poo. John very patiently explains that he needs to do a kick and then exclaim, "Stop or I'll shoot!" Mr. Poo executes some very fine karate kicks then yells, "Stop or I'll shi-!" (I'm not sure I can curse on Cruise Critic but you get the idea.) A very harried John tries to fix Mr. P's pronunciation to no avail.

 

So that was the rehearsal. The real bedtime story enactment gets even crazier. As John begins the actual story, Mr. Poo, in true Asian tourist style, takes out a camera and starts taking pictures of John, the band, the heroine and the villain looking loving, and the audience. When the villain appears at the heroine's window, Michigan Guy yells "Who's your daddy?!" and the heroine responds with some come-hither remarks. As they canoodle in a very friendly way for supposed enemies, Mr. Pu makes his entrance. Instead of saying his sort-of rehearsed line, he shouts (and you have to imagine the heavy accent here) "I'm gonna kick your ass!"

 

For the umpteenth time on this cruise, I found myself laughing so hard I was crying. No wonder the bloggers requested this particular show. Carnival aficionados, please tell me--is the bedtime story always like this?

[alinehu]

Yes Erica but dont tell anybody OK?? Everytime it makes you laugh just the same.Dont worry.I was in tears and almost falling from my chair the last time.

[nycruises]

Kevin, it's a great thought but oh my, please don't send me 3,000 emails, I think my computer would blow up (or my brain would).... But if there are a handful particularly funny -- and we can post them, I'd be happy to!

 

Wish I were onboard....

 

Carolyn

 

Carolyn Spencer Brown

Editor in Chief

Cruise Critic

 

I really have to ask the groups permission to share these, so i think we will have to wait for the majority of them to return home to their emails

Kevin

[LHP]

OK.... I have a serious question....

 

Is John Heald the only CD to ever do the Bedtime Story OR did Peter Gibbs (for those of you who remember him) do it as well?????

[LRene]

oh my, please don't send me 3,000 emails

 

LOL....:D

 

Erica - thanks for your contribution. And yes, the bedtime story is always funny no matter how many times you see it. The parts are always the same but really, John is the only one who is always the same. The passengers are different each cruise and you never know how they will be. Even if you can recite every word, it's still funny.

[Erica@cruisecritic]

Our last port-of-call was Ocho Rios, Jamaica, where Carnival had organized a special Jamaican Bash for the bloggers and any other cruiser who wanted to join in. For one price, you could kayak, snorkel, beach, swim, eat and drink as much as you want, and play with dolphins, stingrays, and sharks. For a bit extra, you could climb Dunn's River Falls, as well.

 

Everyone onboard seemed to be looking forward to this excursion. The bloggers were excited about their party and another chance to show off their homemade T-shirts. I also talked to non-blogger passengers who were enthusiastic about the amazing all-inclusive deal.

 

As a member of the press group, I had the privilege of riding to Dolphin Cove with John and Heidi. That meant waiting in the blazing Jamaican sun at the end of the pier while John took 20 minutes to walk from the ship. He hadn't been back to the Caribbean in a few years so all the Jamaicans who remembered him from years past ran up to say hello. John was joking and laughing with them and greeting them like old friends. I've never seen anyone so popular.

 

The beach was a teeny strip of land between the road and the sea, where the innovative Dolphin Cove people had built an entire complex of stores, food service stations, beach, and swimming areas. I enjoyed kayaking around a sheltered bay in a glass-bottomed kayak and swimming with a Cuban dolphin named Pepe. Pepe liked me, too--when it was my turn to kiss him, he wouldn't stop kissing me back. I guess even dolphins can be Latin lovers!

 

My only disappointment was that the beach day was not so much of a blogger's party. John spent most of the day in the V.I.P. area and didn't once parade around in a thong like he'd threatened. He didn't do any shtick for the guests, and the bloggers didn't pull any pranks. I guess as the cruise nears its end, we're all a bit tired and just wanted a little R&R in the sun--which is exactly what we got. And really, I don't think any of us actually wanted to see John in a thong.

[bacon29]

where is day 3 and 4?

[Erica@cruisecritic]

John's farewell party may have been a rushed affair between the press Q&A and the first dinner seating, but it was certainly memorable. All the registered bloggers received "John Heald's Bloggers Cruise" T-shirts in their cabins last night and most attendees wore theirs. They also came bedecked with tiaras, pins, and other blogger paraphernalia to create a festive mood. The party unofficially began with Robert and Suzanne, who have cruised 40 times with John, presenting him with a plaque to show their appreciation. John was again touched by the thoughtfulness of the bloggers. After this cruise, his cabin will be filled with gifts from his online community.

 

The highlight of the show was a dance. John wanted to show his bloggers just how dedicated he is to them and to continuing his blog. To do this, he figured he'd bite the bullet and do something he hates--dance. So he called everyone up on stage to learn the Blogger's Dance.

 

The theme of the dance was three of John's favorite foods: Pizza Hut, KFC, and McDonald's. Social host James got up in the balcony and taught John and the bloggers to make their arms into a pizza shape, flap their elbows to resemble chicken wings, and do a strutting step to represent (still unclear on this one) McDonald's. Then he had everyone wave and shimmy. John joked that he'd better warn the captain if he and Big Ed were about to shimmy at the same time.

 

Then the music came on, and John led the bloggers in the dance. He was offbeat and sashaying in the wrong direction, but he had a big smile on his face. The bloggers in turn laughed as they crashed into each other and obligingly performed the silly steps.

 

Afterwards, John told everyone what he would take away from this cruise (other than a sackful of sugar-free jelly beans). "When I'm writing the blog at 2 am in my underwear," he said to much laughter, "and I'm responding to the comments, now I have faces to go with the names." The bloggers have always felt a personal connection to John through his words, but John acknowledged that he now has a personal connection to them as well.

 

And to make sure the bloggers truly understood how much they mean to him, he added, "For as long you want it, my thingy will always be there for you."