Question about cruising with my parents one of whom has alzheimers

[mamaofami]

I think the OP is talking about the 3 day cruise from NYC, so it's not likely they will be put off the ship since there are no port stops.

Howver, I think the most important consideraton here is the comfort of the father. He will be disoriented and made uncomfortable. What you think will be a happy time for him will only cause him discontent.

[norcal2]

I am certain that you will do whatever is right for your father. There is some wonderful advice here, particularly mom getting a cruise vacation even if dad can't go. I can only add that talking to your father's doctor may give you a clearer idea on what to do or not do as the stages change. He must be a wonderful man because he certainly has a wonderful family.

 

My best to your family and our thoughts are with you.

[Pam in CA]

My dear wife has been DX'd with Alzheimer's now for about 18 months. We did take a cruise last March that went very well, but I did have to stick with her full time. Her near term memory has gotten worse but aside from that there has been no problems. I will decide about our next planned cruise next March after I see how she does with a trip this month to see relatives that will involve hotels, airplane and staying in an unfamiliar place.

 

At this point I could not leave her with someone while I get respite care since she is looking forward to a cruise. She knows what is going on.......

My thoughts go out to you. About 10 years ago, a friend of ours with a wife in early Alzheimer's joined us on several cruises; a beautiful woman in her early 50s at the time. One of us was always around to help her in the bathroom (she'd lock herself in and not know how to get out) or take a class with her (she loved ballroom dancing) or a movie to give her husband a respite. She fortunately was a very happy person and even if she didn't understand what was going on around her, was always smiling and joining in when she could. Because she was surrounded by friends, she did well although over the years, it became apparent that she was more and more confused and often didn't recognize who we were but she did kind of know she knew us somehow.

 

Suggestions for your wife would be things along the lines of what he did: took her to have her hair done or for a massage, went to the movies, went dancing and did things that she would enjoy. If you have friends who would be willing to join you and help out even a little, you'll both wind up having a wonderful time.

[Toad]

I recall being on a cruisre a few years back where we met a couple in their 70's. Two lovely people. The wife was a strikingly beautiful woman who harly spoke. The husband told us she had Alzheimers disease. This was at the beginning of a 10 day cruise. I thought how great it was that they were still cruising together. Unfortunately, by mid cruise, the husband was exhausted and nearly at wits end as his wife was constantly wandering off, both night and day. I know he meant well but it was heartbreaking to watch. I still think of them both years later.

[Starr Mtn]

Your heart is in the right place, but we have to agree with previous

posters. This wouldn't be the best idea for your dear Dad ! Unfortunately his situation could pose some serious concerns - albeit

innocent in nature.

 

However, we would suggest you consider taking your Mom on a cruise -

after having carefully placing your Dad in some type of Assisted Living

while you are cruising. Your Mom probably really needs a vacation

and some special rest and relaxation herself. Of course, she might

be reticent about leaving her husband - but Care Givers need breaks

also ! I know - because I've been there. And I'm a handicapped

cruiser myself - but those times on board a ship are great therapy for

me - even with limited mobility problems........

[durangoscots]

This situation is so hard. I am not sure how long your cruise would be .... but given the unfamiliarity of the situation for your Father, I would advise against it. There was a woman, a seasoned cruiser, on a cruise I made not too long ago and she had fairly early stage Alzheimers and over the course of the cruise I watched her become more and more distressed. She kept asking when they were going home. I felt so very sorry for her husband and I do believe they left the ship early... or stuck to their cabin toward the end. Granted it was a long cruise, but the fact remains that with Alzheimers, the patient is happiest in the familiar and with well established routines. Your Mother is going to need a lot of support now and in the future... and I suspect she would also find this cruise stressful just worrying about "what if?.... What a cruel illness this is.