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Woman missing on the Pearl

wrp96

By wrp96,
in Norwegian Cruise Line

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peanutJMV

peanutJMV

Posted
Posted
I think it is sad that so many people are casting stones at the husband.

 

I have heard to much on the news already that I know can't be true.

 

I don't buy the whole quarter thing one bit. Anyone who has been on NCL knows that none of the slots take coins. Obviously the person who made that comment wasn't aware of how the casinos operate.

 

Mental problems affect everyone differently. Her family said she had a history of past mental problems. I have worked with mentally ill people for years. A majority live normal lives and from looking at them you would never know they had mental issues. However, it takes just one spark to upset everything for them. Many times you never know what it is that triggers the person to go unstable. It could be a song, a food, or something on tv to mention a few things. We don't know what upset this lady and it is just terrible that there was an easy way out for her with the balcony so close. She might have had a lapse and been looking at the ocean and saw how peaceful it was and decide to join it before realizing what she had done. We also don't know if she was on medication and could have missed doses due to an irregular schedule on the boat. That alone could bring suicidal thoughts into her mind. Again, with the balcony so close and it only takes a second. (I had a case of a girl who was deemed stable from three seprate mental health doctors to leave the hospital for a 4 hour pass- 30 minutes after leaving she was dead from jumping off an interstate overpass). My point is that you don't always see the signs.

 

As far as her husband not reporting her missing for so long. I don't find that strage at all. I just got off the Jewel and one night my guy friend was tired and not feeling well (rough waters and the fact that he normally goes to bed at 9pm). I told him I was going to play some blackjack and would be back at midnight. I met some people at the blackjack table and we played until 5:00am. I just knew he was going to kill me. I headed back to the room and he was sound asleep. He woke me at 9 after he came back from breakfast. He thought I was sleeping since midnight and didn't understand why I was still tired. Oh, and me and my guy friend are otherwise connected at the hip.

 

I also don't believe the comment from the people who said they were in the cabin under them. I was on the Pearl (Nov 07) on the 11th floor. My guy friends parents where in the room next to us with doors that joined us. They would do a hillbilly knock (knock on the wall to tell us they were ready for dinner/breakfast etc) many times we didn't hear them and I am positive they didn't hear our wild times. Likewise we were on the Jewel this past November and our room was right above the Stardust theater. We never heard a sound EVER. I can't believe someone one floor done could make out an entire conversation. Trust me if my guy friends parents wouldn't be able to keep a straight face if they heard 1/10 of the stuff that went on in our room.

 

When we go on the Pearl again in November '09 if something terrible happens like a person going overboard I do not want NCL to notify me. That would put a damper on my whole trip and would send the whole ship into a big gossip frenzy.

 

Lastly, who are we to judge how this man handles his grief? I have never walked in his shoes. I remember when my nephew died. We were at my sister-in-laws house and it was just hours after her 12 year old boy died of an asthma attack. The phone rang and it was a repairman saying that the son's video game was repaired and could be picked up. She said, "Ok thank you, but it will be a few days before I get there." The guy on the other end of the phone had no idea the child was dead as my sister-in-law was very calm on the phone but was otherwise an emotional wreck. Again, my point is that everone handles grief differently.

 

Well said and may I add, she might have appeared ok prior to the trip because she already planned her suicide. Happens too much..., How sad,

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CrazieNCruisingGypsy2

CrazieNCruisingGypsy2

Posted
Posted

I haven't read this entire thread but have been reading some other information on her.

 

Here's a few links (sorry, if these are repeats)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/tammycolteroh/blog/2008/12/29/oh-member--jennifer-seitz-missing/

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=E1030993905&NoStatic=1

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=E1076418345&NoStatic=1

 

http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=3240306163464329

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Eeyoregon

Eeyoregon

Posted
Posted
If she was so depressed - and apparently they knew she was drinking and not on her meds - they should have been more on top of her - and maybe alerting authorities sooner might have helped save her. What kind of family lets a sick and distressed loved one wander around a ship at night for nearly 12 hours alone?

 

It appears you have no first hand knowledge and very little understanding of mental illness. It's not that simple. Dealing with mental illness is extremely exhausting, frustrating and all consuming.

 

You can NOT force someone to take their medication. You can NOT force someone not to drink. You can NOT make them "be" happy. You can NOT monitor them 24/7 or control what they do. Unless they are an immediate threat to others or themselves you can do NOTHING to have them committed or controlled. My Dad has tried to call the police on my Uncle when he has stopped taking his meds and is spinning out of control and it's the same answer: they can do NOTHING until he has or has attempted to injure someone else or himself.

 

There are NO reports that she was sick or distressed while on board...quite the oposite...very "up" and manic. Just because she was diagnosed as bi-polar doesn't mean that she was a ticking time bomb. Odds are you work with several people who are bi-polar or have some other mental illness and you would never know it by looking at them.

 

Let's not blame the family for the choices that a grown woman seems to have made to end her life.

 

P.S Ther are NO reports of this woman wandering the ship alone for 12 hours?? She was accounted for all day...not misisng since 8:00AM but rather seen going overboard at 8:00PM.

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lilypi314

lilypi314

Posted
Posted

you may have hit the nail on the head here. a former boyfriend of mine made a very serious suicide attempt while we were together. once hearing that he had survived the anger was unbelievable. i can imagine that the feelings are similar when a suicide is successful. people who haven't experienced mental illness or suicide don't realize the gamut of emotions that loved ones go through. suicide is the ultimate selfish act, and it is absolutely common to react with shock or anger. nobody knows exactly what happened, and as much as people like to speculate that this husband is "bizarre" because of going to the casino...you NEVER know how you'd react to a sucicide.

 

 

You know something I haven't seen mentioned (although with this many pages I may have missed it) is the fact that IF this woman actually killed herself, it could be understandable that the husband would go through an anger phase. Sure at first devistated more than likely, but I believe anger is one of the steps in the grieving process. Maybe IF he was seen going to the casino.. well.. maybe he was angry at her for doing that to herself and the family. I can see that being a valid emotion in this situtation. Maybe he said "well to hell with her... I'm going to go have some fun". We might be shocked at that, but I do think it is a possibility.

 

Personally I do not believe the report of him going to the casino, but just saying if he did, who knows what was going through his mind. Until we KNOW he did something to her, I think he deserves our sympathy as much as anyone else.

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JFontaine

JFontaine

Posted
Posted
It appears you have no first hand knowledge and very little understanding of mental illness. It's not that simple. Dealing with mental illness is extremely exhausting, frustrating and all consuming.

 

You can NOT force someone to take their medication. You can NOT force someone not to drink. You can NOT make them "be" happy. You can NOT monitor them 24/7 or control what they do. Unless they are an immediate threat to others or themselves you can do NOTHING to have them committed or controlled. My Dad has tried to call the police on my Uncle when he has stopped taking his meds and is spinning out of control and it's the same answer: they can do NOTHING until he has or has attempted to injure someone else or himself.

 

There are NO reports that she was sick or distressed while on board...quite the oposite...very "up" and manic. Just because she was diagnosed as bi-polar doesn't mean that she was a ticking time bomb. Odds are you work with several people who are bi-polar or have some other mental illness and you would never know it by looking at them.

 

Let's not blame the family for the choices that a grown woman seems to have made to end her life.

 

P.S Ther are NO reports of this woman wandering the ship alone for 12 hours?? She was accounted for all day...not misisng since 8:00AM but rather seen going overboard at 8:00PM.

 

Not sure how you know so much about what I don't know. What I do know is that they were married for only a year, and she was married to another man quite recently, so I don't know how exhausted he could have been in such a short time to not be able to have some idea of where she was for so many hours considering the family's own statement about her condition. I have been a caretaker for two extremely needy family members for the better part of twenty years and not an hour goes by when their needs are not foremost in my mind. If she did commit suicide I don't hold them responsible. I do hold them responsible for being so clueless about her whereabouts given what THEY have now told us about her.

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paulagualalala

paulagualalala

Posted
Posted

If my husband went missing on a cruise and they determined (shortly after) that someone was captured on tape going overboard, I would want to be off the ship. I would want to be air lifted or off at the next port. No way would I continue the cruise. Does anyone know if the husband and Mom got off the ship prior to getting to home port? I think there are updates to this story but I have not watched the news today. She was a pretty lady but with any form of depression it doesn't matter what a person looks like. When you are depressed you are ugly to yourself and your life is ugly. It is sad but it happens everyday to all types of people. Very sad.

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Eeyoregon

Eeyoregon

Posted
Posted
I have been a caretaker for two extremely needy family members for the better part of twenty years and not an hour goes by when their needs are not foremost in my mind.

 

Caring for a "needy" family vs. mental illness have WHAT in common? Yes, even 5 hours or 3 weeks with someone who has a mental illness that is not controlled is all consuming and emotionally and physically exhausting.

 

What "needs" should have been foremost in this case? Should the husband have locked her in a dark padded room instead of taking her on a lovely cruise? Should the mother have injected her against her will with her medications? Should she have been chained to her bed to keep her from drinking alcohol? Wow, ignorance truly is bliss.

 

There is absolutely, positively NOTHING on earth that could have prevented this if it was suicide (unless a straight jacket and solitary confinement are considered humane). If not on this cruise, then it likely would have happened somewhere else under different circumstances and no one would have said a word about it. I just pray that this situation opens our eyes to mental illness and it's demons.

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CarnivalCruzer

CarnivalCruzer

Posted
Posted
There are exclusive pictures, interviews with family and friends and information about what happened the night Jennifer disappeared on this website:

http://www.bittenandbound.com/2008/12/30/jennifer-seitz-exclusive-what-happened-the-night-she-disappeared/

 

"As a gastric bypass patient, alcohol tended to hit Jennifer hard and fast, and she and Ray had argued about her drinking earlier on the day she went missing. When he asked her to slow down a bit, she offhandedly threatened to jump off the ship. According to sources, Jennifer and her mother also had words that evening on the same subject

 

On the evening of December 25, Jennifer and her mother Donna (whom Jennifer named as her hero on Myspace), met another passenger aboard the ship that they referred to as “the engineer.” The man came back to their cabin where he ordered up two bottles of Dom Perignon. According to sources, the man “drank himself sick” and vomited in their shower before going back to his own cabin alone.

 

It is believed that Donna had left the cabin at this point, and Raymond was beckoning Jennifer to stop drinking and come to bed. She refused and continued to drink - rambling, which sources say she did at times. When Jennifer exhibited this behavior on previous occasions, her family instructed Ray to “tune her out,” telling him “it will pass.”

 

Raymond went to sleep. When he awoke around 1:00 a.m. Jennifer was not in the cabin. He walked the ship looking for her, and when he couldn’t find her he went back to the cabin and woke Donna around 2:00 a.m. to ask her if she knew where Jennifer was. She, like Raymond, believed Jennifer was probably walking the decks, and when the two of them couldn’t find her, they notified the cruise line."

 

 

If the above info is accurate (taken fron the link above) - it would place the husband & wife in the room alone together around 8pm. The FBI must have something else for him not to be a suspect.

 

Furthermore, if she did commit suicide and the above story is true...imagine the guilt he'll have to live with knowing he was right there in the room "tuning her out"

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faith31617

faith31617

Posted
Posted
It is believed that Donna had left the cabin at this point, and Raymond was beckoning Jennifer to stop drinking and come to bed. She refused and continued to drink - rambling, which sources say she did at times. When Jennifer exhibited this behavior on previous occasions, her family instructed Ray to “tune her out,” telling him “it will pass.”

 

Raymond went to sleep. When he awoke around 1:00 a.m. Jennifer was not in the cabin. He walked the ship looking for her, and when he couldn’t find her he went back to the cabin and woke Donna around 2:00 a.m. to ask her if she knew where Jennifer was. She, like Raymond, believed Jennifer was probably walking the decks, and when the two of them couldn’t find her, they notified the cruise line."

 

 

If the above info is accurate (taken fron the link above) - it would place the husband & wife in the room alone together around 8pm. The FBI must have something else for him not to be a suspect.

 

Furthermore, if she did commit suicide and the above story is true...imagine the guilt he'll have to live with knowing he was right there in the room "tuning her out"

 

You took the words right out of mouth.....I was just fixing to type this very thing.....the husband and wife are arguing, the mother leaves the room, she jumps overboard, he goes to sleep :confused: GEEEEEZZZZZ I hope he didn't do it, but if this story is accurate I would say there something real fishy going on here. I can honestly that when my husband and I argue the last thing either one of us can do is sleep not until we have cleared the air and said our apologies and even then it isn't a good sound sleep.

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johnql

johnql

Posted
Posted
Isn't it about time to put this one to bed? Seems as though every possible viewpoint has been expressed (some ad nauseum) and we're now getting into wild conjecture.

Now getting into wild conjecture? How about 10 pages ago? Or 15 pages ago?

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growinassets

growinassets

Posted
Posted

We've read all of this thread and the three other websites devoted to the story. At this point, we're glad to hear how NCL handled it. They knew who was missing and that there wasn't a security problem on the boat and didn't spoil a lot of people's cruise vacation.

 

Jennifer's situation is unfortunate, but so are many other things we hear about everyday.

 

D&L

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paulagualalala

paulagualalala

Posted
Posted
Isn't it about time to put this one to bed? Seems as though every possible viewpoint has been expressed (some ad nauseum) and we're now getting into wild conjecture.

Hey we're bored and want to nauseate people that read this thread for no apparent reason. There are so many other boards to read so what are you doing here my friend?:confused:

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Almost Packed

Almost Packed

Posted
Posted
I have been very good friends and next door neighbor for 20 years with a woman who is severely bipolar. I've been to visit her numerous times in the hospital psych ward and to the institution where she was placed to get the meds on track. One thing I have learned is to NOT blame family and friends. If this woman was in a manic state, she probably would not listen to ANYONE and would resist the best advice and help. Part of the manic state is thinking that you are correct (about not needing meds and how you act) and thinking that the world (your loved ones, your psychiatrist, etc.) is all wrong. My husband and I are also her husband's main confidant and so I understand the anquish from all sides.

 

One thing family and friends have to live with is the reality that THIRTY percent of bipolar people will commit suicide. You can walk on eggshells all the time about this issue and we live with the reality that any conversation for their own well being could be the tipping point for a suicide attempt and then we have to live with the guilt and aftermath. I feel so sad that this family has to deal with the evil press and others who just have never lived with a severely bipolar person. Give them a break!

 

I can speak to this....my brother is bi-polar. I love him dearly, but I am no way responsible for his actions. HE, like most people with bi-polar, do not stay on their meds, and then i end up taking him to the hospital psych ward, where they lock him up for a week, get him to finally sleep, and put him back on meds. we do this once a year or every other year. most people with bi-polar HATE the meds and refuse to take them. if you have never seen a person who is truly mentally ill, it would scare the hell out of you to see how the brain can function "normal" and then "snap".

 

This woman could have even lied to her family saying she was on her meds. my brother does. I was a single mom, and spent the last $'s i had to get my brother's meds...he took them for 2 days, then flushed them down the toilet. i was so angry!:mad:

 

there is no way you can stay on top of someone constantly.

 

I find myself reading this board about this woman, and then i wonder, why are any of us really even on here reading about her now?

 

I'm not saying the hubby is guilty and i'm not saying he's innocent. but it is not up to us to decide. We have very little facts.

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Noire

Noire

Posted
Posted

 

I find myself reading this board about this woman, and then i wonder, why are any of us really even on here reading about her now?

 

I'm not saying the hubby is guilty and i'm not saying he's innocent. but it is not up to us to decide. We have very little facts.

 

 

Exactly!!

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