I am going to have Gastirc By-Pass surgery...

[valancy1]

As far as that website you mentioned, I'll only say this: I have been well acquainted with the proprietor, and she's **quite** the salesperson. As long as you don't cross her, you're fine. Otherwise, get ready to get booted off.

 

INTERESTING! I once (brand new at this site) was chastised (chastized?) because I was asking about spaghetti. I wasn't asking because I was crying about not being able to have it. I was simply asking because I was WONDERING.

 

I got a "YOU don't like the answers you are getting unless they are in your favor" type of a response. I responded back stating that I was never given a welcome (not expecting red carpet, but a welcome before being chastized would have been nice).

 

She's never spoken to me again. You know, I don't care. I love all the other people there. I am finding more and more sources for my protein and such, but I do purchase from there because my pouch likes it.

 

I take it all with a grain of salt. Everyone else there is wonderful, so I apply the 12-step philosophy: take what you can use and leave the rest. :)

[GHarkness]

INTERESTING! I once (brand new at this site) was chastised (chastized?) because I was asking about spaghetti. I wasn't asking because I was crying about not being able to have it. I was simply asking because I was WONDERING.

 

I got a "YOU don't like the answers you are getting unless they are in your favor" type of a response. I responded back stating that I was never given a welcome (not expecting red carpet, but a welcome before being chastized would have been nice).

 

She's never spoken to me again. You know, I don't care. I love all the other people there. I am finding more and more sources for my protein and such, but I do purchase from there because my pouch likes it.

 

I take it all with a grain of salt. Everyone else there is wonderful, so I apply the 12-step philosophy: take what you can use and leave the rest. :)

 

Yes, I understand what you are saying. But know this: the best people there.....are no longer there (and yes, there were some great ones). And if they have "admin" attached to their name...be wary.

 

But yes, there are lots of very good people who are very helpful. I never meant to imply that they were all bad. :)

[tbrown]

Hello ladies. I am 1 year 11 months out from my surgery, been on 3 cruises since with no problems. I have heard more people talking about not eating carbs after this surgery then I ever did before. Can you explain why? I have went from a 24 to a size 8 and have maintained that for 9 months now. I pretty much eat anything I want in MODERATION. I do have a problem with low blood sugar totally opposite then when I had the surgery I might add so I do drink a coke every once in a while. Water with crystal light flavoring and lemonade is my stable.

My doctor wants me to lose 30 lbs more to be "within the charts" but I am very comfortable where I am at. My chest bone sticks out now and drives me crazy so much more when not be good. I am in the toning stage with exercise so I know I will lose more inches there. Total I have lost 156 lbs and 124 inches. Which totally amazes me.

Good luck to everyone and happy cruising.

[GHarkness]

Hello ladies. I am 1 year 11 months out from my surgery, been on 3 cruises since with no problems. I have heard more people talking about not eating carbs after this surgery then I ever did before. Can you explain why? I have went from a 24 to a size 8 and have maintained that for 9 months now. I pretty much eat anything I want in MODERATION.

 

When I used to eat in "moderation" I also had a problem with low blood sugar. That all changed when I went to Low Carb. I can't even begin to tell you all the reasons for low carb, but here's one to start with: there is NO "RDA" for carbohydrates at all, but there is a RDA for Protein and one for fat as well. Now, considering that we have limited space to put food....why would anyone want to put in foods that are not necessary? Take our limited space and put the best foods available in there! That's why I don't do "moderation." Besides, I "moderated" myself up to 300+ pounds before surgery. (Edited to add: I mean LOW carb, not NO carb...I still eat salad and low carb veggies, and always will.)

 

Here's a start if you want to get some ideas:

 

Fat Head (Tom has the most entertaining site with lots of explanations). This particular post is about potatoes, but there are plenty of others.

 

and Gary Taubes' site: (seems to be having trouble loading right now. Probably just a temporary thing, because I had it up earlier).

 

 

http://www.garytaubes.com/2010/12/calories-fat-or-carbohydrates/

 

And finally, here's an interview with me and my hubby that answers your question: why low carb? (That's us in the picture.)

 

http://www.lowcarbconversations.com/196/11-lowcarb-cruisin-howard-georgine-harkness/

[valancy1]

Yes, I understand what you are saying. But know this: the best people there.....are no longer there (and yes, there were some great ones). And if they have "admin" attached to their name...be wary.

 

But yes, there are lots of very good people who are very helpful. I never meant to imply that they were all bad. :)

 

Oh, I didn't take it that way at all. I'm with you on the carbs. Not enough space to put in what I NEED to put in there. Occasionally I will have a few pretzels, but it is occasionally. I guess that is my "moderation". HA.

[GHarkness]

Oh, I didn't take it that way at all. I'm with you on the carbs. Not enough space to put in what I NEED to put in there. Occasionally I will have a few pretzels, but it is occasionally. I guess that is my "moderation". HA.

 

It's funny, but now after 4+ years, when I have a bit more room in there to put stuff, I still don't have those urges to just eat and eat like I used to. For example: I do make an exception on occasion for 90% dark chocolate. With sugar (though it's not much). And dipped in peanut butter. One square with just a teaspoon of peanut butter is plenty and I have no problem stopping there, even though, of course, it doesn't come close to filling me up. In the past, that chocolate bar wouldn't have been safe for 30 minutes in my house. Now it lasts 3 weeks or more.

 

So, I guess that's my "moderation" these days, hehe.

[yank268]

I am scheduled to have lapband surgery on July 28th. I originally was scheduled to have surgery August 2007. At the time I was not emotionally ready or prepared to have surgery so I cancelled. I have now completed more research and feel more comfortable with my decision.

 

I am so excited to have found a forum on here! I love cruising and I try to complete one every six months but was worried how to intergrate the surgery with the cruising. Thanks to all of the wonderful posts I am even more confident I can do this successfully.

 

Ruth

[suezyq50]

suezyq50,

 

I just saw you live in the greater Cincinnati area. I do as well. Can you tell me what surgical practice you used and what the preliminaries entailed, etc.

 

Thanks

Riddle

Sorry, I just saw this. I first went to see DR.Smith. http://www.lapbariatricsurgery.com/about_us.php

http://www.obesityhelp.com/profiles/bariatric-surgeon/dr-dwayne-smith/

He wants you to work in conjunction with him at http://www.stelizabeth.com/weightmanagementcenter/tristatesurgicalweightlosscentertypesofsurgery.aspx

St Elizabeth has an information seminar, free of charge. If you decide to join, there are classes to attend. I have been very happy with the porgram.

[BillOh]

I am scheduled to have lapband surgery on July 28th. I originally was scheduled to have surgery August 2007. At the time I was not emotionally ready or prepared to have surgery so I cancelled. I have now completed more research and feel more comfortable with my decision.

 

I am so excited to have found a forum on here! I love cruising and I try to complete one every six months but was worried how to intergrate the surgery with the cruising. Thanks to all of the wonderful posts I am even more confident I can do this successfully.

 

Ruth

 

I've had 3 cruises now with the lap band and done just fine. Once you get your band adjusted to your "sweet spot" you can have a good cruise if you don't abandon your non-cruise eating habits and remember how to eat slowly and chew! I have had to leave a dinner at Chops because I was "stuck", this is a very uncomfortable experience and I avoided it totally on my last cruise.

[suezyq50]

I am on day 2 of my 10 day liquid diet before surgery. I am excited!!!

[riddle]

Is that part of it really hard? Anyone diabetic? How do you avoid low sugars on the liquid diet and after surgery?

[suezyq50]

I am not diabetic, so can't speak to that. Today, day 5, has been the hardest. Hubby and I always go out for dinner and cocktails. I am really missing it. I have had my unjury soup. Will also have some jello. Thursday is surgery day. Today I did my admission at the hospital.

[ssatterly]

A great place to go is Baratric eating. com they have a fourm and recipes and sell stuff just for post ops.. You should check it out.

[suezyq50]

Surgery is in the morning!!

[BillOh]

I am scheduled to have lapband surgery on July 28th. I originally was scheduled to have surgery August 2007. At the time I was not emotionally ready or prepared to have surgery so I cancelled. I have now completed more research and feel more comfortable with my decision.

 

I am so excited to have found a forum on here! I love cruising and I try to complete one every six months but was worried how to intergrate the surgery with the cruising. Thanks to all of the wonderful posts I am even more confident I can do this successfully.

 

Ruth

 

Sorry I missed this message, but I found lapbandtalk.com helpful.

[Careyoakie]

I had Gastric (RNY) Surgery 9 years ago and I lost 165 pounds. I went from a size 28 to a size 8 in about 18 months. I really didn't have to do any exercise until the last 50 pounds.

 

This surgery has really changed my life. I never realized just how limited my life had become until I started to lose weight and become more confident. The trick, like any weight loss plan, is learning how to maintain the weight loss. This surgery isn't a magic cure and I hope anyone considering it really understands this. Over the past 3 years I've regained 70 pounds and this kills me! Overeating is a disease that most people really don't understand. It's sneeky and will creep up on you the second you stop paying attention. Additionally, many people transfer their compulsive behavior to other things like alcohol or over-spending. Counseling is a must during your tranformation so you can learn to deal with your changing body image.

 

Three months ago I joined Nutrisystem and so far have lost 24 pounds of the regained weight. I feel like I'm back on track, but it's a constant decision that I must make everyday. If you are seriously considering Weight loss surgery, please remember my words of wisdom. Make this a lifelong decision to change your behavior forever and plan to participate in counseling during your weight loss journey. There is a high rate of divorce, infidelity, and alcoholism that occurs with people that have weight loss surgery.

[valancy1]

I don't remember how long ago I posted about having gastric bypass surgery (NOTE: Lap Band is NOT the same, though it is a weightloss surgery); whether it was beforehand or not.

 

However, at nearly 11 months post-op, I have lost 161 lbs. and over 96 inches. It was the very best thing I have ever done; HOWEVER, not for one moment should you think of this as a magic bullet. It is WORK.

 

I recommend all the time to people considering this: If you have food issues in your head, TAKE CARE OF THEM IN THERAPY. Go to someone who specializes in pre-bariatric/eating discorders/food addictions. Keeping the weight off after gastric bypass surgery is the one "permanent" means to do so; HOWEVER, you *must* work it every day. If you are letting your addicted cravings rule you and giving in to that, then you might as well not even have the surgery. You might not be a good candidate.

 

My food issues were dealt with prior to my surgery, and my surgeon crafted an amazing pouch and thereby amazing result for me. I have never had cravings since surgery. I would rather drink my nutrition than eat any day, and I haven't had sugar since September 27, 2010. And I will never have it again.

 

Feeling as good as I do, being given the second chance that I have, wearing the size that I do, plus no hurting feet, back, joints, jaw, stomach, etc., is ALL WORTH IT.

 

Really really really read up on and evaluate yourself. You may not be ready for this, but you may be. Oh, and exercise... I exercise about 5x/week. For 30-60 minutes in my hotel room (I travel for a living). I have been exercising faithfully since the day of my surgery (yes, after surgery they had me walking). If you're not willing to exercise, don't put yourself through the surgery. This is a total lifestyle CHANGE.

 

Lastly, it's not about losing the weight. It is about losing your old life and granting yourself a new one. You MUST be willing to have a new life--not think that when you get the weight off, you can eat whatever you want. You can't. Your pouch may not allow it. And if you could, why would you want to--considering what it "did" for you in the first place, right?

[waldocruiser1]

I don't remember how long ago I posted about having gastric bypass surgery (NOTE: Lap Band is NOT the same, though it is a weightloss surgery); whether it was beforehand or not.

 

However, at nearly 11 months post-op, I have lost 161 lbs. and over 96 inches. It was the very best thing I have ever done; HOWEVER, not for one moment should you think of this as a magic bullet. It is WORK.

 

I recommend all the time to people considering this: If you have food issues in your head, TAKE CARE OF THEM IN THERAPY. Go to someone who specializes in pre-bariatric/eating discorders/food addictions. Keeping the weight off after gastric bypass surgery is the one "permanent" means to do so; HOWEVER, you *must* work it every day. If you are letting your addicted cravings rule you and giving in to that, then you might as well not even have the surgery. You might not be a good candidate.

 

My food issues were dealt with prior to my surgery, and my surgeon crafted an amazing pouch and thereby amazing result for me. I have never had cravings since surgery. I would rather drink my nutrition than eat any day, and I haven't had sugar since September 27, 2010. And I will never have it again.

 

Feeling as good as I do, being given the second chance that I have, wearing the size that I do, plus no hurting feet, back, joints, jaw, stomach, etc., is ALL WORTH IT.

 

Really really really read up on and evaluate yourself. You may not be ready for this, but you may be. Oh, and exercise... I exercise about 5x/week. For 30-60 minutes in my hotel room (I travel for a living). I have been exercising faithfully since the day of my surgery (yes, after surgery they had me walking). If you're not willing to exercise, don't put yourself through the surgery. This is a total lifestyle CHANGE.

 

Lastly, it's not about losing the weight. It is about losing your old life and granting yourself a new one. You MUST be willing to have a new life--not think that when you get the weight off, you can eat whatever you want. You can't. Your pouch may not allow it. And if you could, why would you want to--considering what it "did" for you in the first place, right?

 

Thanks for the info, I have a thread on the Carnival board,

 

I have a cruise planned on the Valor Jan 29th 2012, and I am looking at surgery in late October 2011, next month.

 

I am looking at the RNY

[cruisinsly]

I don't remember how long ago I posted about having gastric bypass surgery (NOTE: Lap Band is NOT the same, though it is a weightloss surgery); whether it was beforehand or not.

 

However, at nearly 11 months post-op, I have lost 161 lbs. and over 96 inches. It was the very best thing I have ever done; HOWEVER, not for one moment should you think of this as a magic bullet. It is WORK.

 

I recommend all the time to people considering this: If you have food issues in your head, TAKE CARE OF THEM IN THERAPY. Go to someone who specializes in pre-bariatric/eating discorders/food addictions. Keeping the weight off after gastric bypass surgery is the one "permanent" means to do so; HOWEVER, you *must* work it every day. If you are letting your addicted cravings rule you and giving in to that, then you might as well not even have the surgery. You might not be a good candidate.

 

My food issues were dealt with prior to my surgery, and my surgeon crafted an amazing pouch and thereby amazing result for me. I have never had cravings since surgery. I would rather drink my nutrition than eat any day, and I haven't had sugar since September 27, 2010. And I will never have it again.

 

Feeling as good as I do, being given the second chance that I have, wearing the size that I do, plus no hurting feet, back, joints, jaw, stomach, etc., is ALL WORTH IT.

 

Really really really read up on and evaluate yourself. You may not be ready for this, but you may be. Oh, and exercise... I exercise about 5x/week. For 30-60 minutes in my hotel room (I travel for a living). I have been exercising faithfully since the day of my surgery (yes, after surgery they had me walking). If you're not willing to exercise, don't put yourself through the surgery. This is a total lifestyle CHANGE.

 

Lastly, it's not about losing the weight. It is about losing your old life and granting yourself a new one. You MUST be willing to have a new life--not think that when you get the weight off, you can eat whatever you want. You can't. Your pouch may not allow it. And if you could, why would you want to--considering what it "did" for you in the first place, right?

 

Hi! It is great that you are doing so well with your surgery. I have had lapband surgery and I take a little offense to something that you have implied. When you stated that lapband is NOT the same as what you had, well of course it isnt, but it makes it sound as if you are downplaying the surgery that all of us banders have had. We too have to take our vitamins and exercise just as much if not more than you do. Our weight comes off SLOW, not fast. Our chances for malnutrition is extremely low. But it is still a weight loss surgery and it was just as dangerous as yours since we were put under also. We work really hard (and deserve the credit for hard work) at the weight loss we have. Have you ever been "stuck"? Probably not because that is only something that us Lap Band people go through (NOTE: Lap Band and Gastric Bypass are two totally different surgeries - as you have said).

 

Now, maybe you didnt mean to come across as condescending, but that's how I read what you have written. I know that sometimes what we write can come across the wrong way because we cant hear the other persons voice. If I took you the wrong way, then I apologize. Regardless of what type of surgery (Bypass, Sleeve, or lapband), we are all in this together and we all need to offer support to each other. I have a support group meeting through the hospital where I have had my surgery that meets monthly and they do not separate us by the types of surgery we have had. We all meet at the same time, same night, same room.

[kanitter]

Wow, I haven't had a chance to get on the boards in quite a while. There are quite a lot of new ones posting. For all of you who have taken that step and had surgery congratulations and good luck in the future. And for those of you who are thinking about it, it opens up a whole new way of life. I had rny done a little over 2 years ago now. I've lost 157 lbs. I now weigh 112 and wear a size 4. I haven't been this small since I was about 16. I really hadn't planned on getting this small, I would have been happy at 125 - 130. But my body decided differently. It seemed like the weight just kept coming off no matter what I did. It actually started to worry me. But my doctor said my body would know when to stop. And I guess it did.:D My health is so much better. My diabetes is under control. I do have to watch for low blood sugars if I haven't eaten enough but it's getting better. So yes, the surgery can be worth it even with the risks no matter if you are considering rny, lap band, the sleeve or whatever. Just make sure you are ready emotionally because you will have to make some changes in your life, but man, it is so worth it.

 

Have a good one,

Sue

[waldocruiser1]

Wow, I haven't had a chance to get on the boards in quite a while. There are quite a lot of new ones posting. For all of you who have taken that step and had surgery congratulations and good luck in the future. And for those of you who are thinking about it, it opens up a whole new way of life. I had rny done a little over 2 years ago now. I've lost 157 lbs. I now weigh 112 and wear a size 4. I haven't been this small since I was about 16. I really hadn't planned on getting this small, I would have been happy at 125 - 130. But my body decided differently. It seemed like the weight just kept coming off no matter what I did. It actually started to worry me. But my doctor said my body would know when to stop. And I guess it did.:D My health is so much better. My diabetes is under control. I do have to watch for low blood sugars if I haven't eaten enough but it's getting better. So yes, the surgery can be worth it even with the risks no matter if you are considering rny, lap band, the sleeve or whatever. Just make sure you are ready emotionally because you will have to make some changes in your life, but man, it is so worth it.

 

Have a good one,

Sue

 

I am glad it worked well, I am in the waiting stage now, (waiting for the insurance company to decide if they are going to approve the surgery) I hope I have not lost too much at this point, and they decide to wait and see how I do, I have lost 56 pounds sense the 30th of June.

 

I was wondering about the long term effect, how does your body know when to stop loosing weight, or do you finally start having more meals, because you can not have larger meals, the pouch is only so big. Or is it figured in to the size of the pouch they make for you?

[kanitter]

I am glad it worked well, I am in the waiting stage now, (waiting for the insurance company to decide if they are going to approve the surgery) I hope I have not lost too much at this point, and they decide to wait and see how I do, I have lost 56 pounds sense the 30th of June.

 

I was wondering about the long term effect, how does your body know when to stop loosing weight, or do you finally start having more meals, because you can not have larger meals, the pouch is only so big. Or is it figured in to the size of the pouch they make for you?

 

I honestly don't know the full medical function of it but was told that everyone's body has something like a optimal weight. It is the weight that your body functions at its best. Apparently if you are not overloading your body with extra calories your body will drop to that weight. I guess that's why even tho I would have been content with stopping at 130 lbs because I wasn't overloading my body with too many calories I kept dropping weight. I've been at this weight now for about 6 months. I fluctuate between 113 and 115. I eat usually 6 small meals a day. I'm not positive but the impression I got from my surgeon was that he made everyones pouch about the same size. I can eat between 1/2 and 3/4 cup of food at one time. It sounds like you still have some more questions and you should talk to your surgeon. If he's any good he should be willing to take the time to talk with you and answer any more questions you have. This is too serious of a life change to go into it uninformed. Anyone here can answer some of your questions but since we don't know you personally or know anything about you medically all we can do is tell you what we've experienced personally. We can't tell you what you will experience based on your body. But I don't mind trying to answer any of your questions so feel free to ask away. :)

 

Have a good one,

Sue

[smoothdancer]

I see the last post is way back in Sept so I hope someone reads this!

 

I have not had this operation, or do I have a weight issue, but my SIL does and had the surgery about late summer. I have read every single post here trying to educate myself as to what she was going through, and to calm my fears for her. I feel like I know you all!!

 

Her husband of 3 years, also not overweight was very suppportive in her decision, and paid for the surgery. My SIL had little money prior to the marriage and this came from his savings. Yet lately it seems his support is wavering some. She however has told me she is happy with her decision and wish she had done it years ago.

 

So now where I need help. She and husband will come over for New years eve dinner. I dont want to ask her what I can cook because I know she will feel it an imposition on my part, although it is not. I also do not want to increase the (maybe) lack of support from the husband who is use to and enjoys the fancy spreads I put out for the holidays. Also, after this time period just last week she has told me she still cannot eat any pork or beef. I dont think this has been all that easy for her.

 

And I noticed....

She had a 50th family birthday party for husband at her house. She really avoided sitting at the table, cleaned kitchen and finally sat down and ate some salad.... The next week she had a 50th birthday party for husband at a resturant( a huge event) and I heard her husband say are you not going to eat, and she said I am too nervous and I could hear the fustration in his voice....

 

So what I want to do is cook a dinner of something she can eat, in the portion she can eat, while not making it obvious to husband that I am doing this....

 

Can you guys PLEASE help me?

Is chicken or turkey my only options, how about fish, veggies and dessert... Are there any issues with dairy products, especially cheese?Perhaps you can tell from my post that I love my SIL to death and this is very important to me to make this an enjoyable and stress free night for her.

 

I dont ask her many questions because I dont want to make her uncomfortable.... From the other side of the fence I will tell you all it is hard on us to know what to do or say to our loved ones when they take this huge step and welcome any advise about also.

 

Many thanks to anyone who reads this and responds. I would be very greatful.

[valancy1]

I see the last post is way back in Sept so I hope someone reads this!

 

I have not had this operation, or do I have a weight issue, but my SIL does and had the surgery about late summer. I have read every single post here trying to educate myself as to what she was going through, and to calm my fears for her. I feel like I know you all!!

 

Her husband of 3 years, also not overweight was very suppportive in her decision, and paid for the surgery. My SIL had little money prior to the marriage and this came from his savings. Yet lately it seems his support is wavering some. She however has told me she is happy with her decision and wish she had done it years ago.

 

So now where I need help. She and husband will come over for New years eve dinner. I dont want to ask her what I can cook because I know she will feel it an imposition on my part, although it is not. I also do not want to increase the (maybe) lack of support from the husband who is use to and enjoys the fancy spreads I put out for the holidays. Also, after this time period just last week she has told me she still cannot eat any pork or beef. I dont think this has been all that easy for her.

 

And I noticed....

She had a 50th family birthday party for husband at her house. She really avoided sitting at the table, cleaned kitchen and finally sat down and ate some salad.... The next week she had a 50th birthday party for husband at a resturant( a huge event) and I heard her husband say are you not going to eat, and she said I am too nervous and I could hear the fustration in his voice....

 

So what I want to do is cook a dinner of something she can eat, in the portion she can eat, while not making it obvious to husband that I am doing this....

 

Can you guys PLEASE help me?

Is chicken or turkey my only options, how about fish, veggies and dessert... Are there any issues with dairy products, especially cheese?Perhaps you can tell from my post that I love my SIL to death and this is very important to me to make this an enjoyable and stress free night for her.

 

I dont ask her many questions because I dont want to make her uncomfortable.... From the other side of the fence I will tell you all it is hard on us to know what to do or say to our loved ones when they take this huge step and welcome any advise about also.

 

Many thanks to anyone who reads this and responds. I would be very greatful.

 

 

Ok... here is my viewpoint. I am 14 months post-op and have achieved my goal. I feel like I am right where your SIL might be when I was first new.

 

I will also say that I am extremely focused on my new life, my new weight, and my new habits... habits that are true habits now, not just developing. I don't know where your SIL is in her food cravings, appetite, etc., at at this time.

 

I am sorry that your SIL's husband seems to be irritated that she cannot eat. When I was out of surgery it took a full 6 months before I could really eat (and I don't mean big portions--I mean AT ALL). I drank most of my nutrition and ate loose, slippery food.

 

It is difficult to say because everyone is so different who has this procedure, but based on my experiences roughly 6 months post-op, I will tell you what I was able to do and maybe you might get some ideas from this:

 

I was still in the stage of being nauseous. However, I am always very open about my needs and limitations and really didn't care about what others thought. One of the things I learned is that you have to be open about this journey... living in secrecy or silence is not healthy.

 

I was able to eat creamed soups beefed up with protein. To this day I cannot eat pork. I cannot eat scrambled eggs. I cannot eat pasta. I cannot swallow them without getting sick (all foods I enjoyed prior to my surgery).

 

If it were me, and since you asked, and you seem to be close with her, let her know that you love her and you want to support her through this, but to do this, you need to understand what she's going through and ask specifically about eating. That's what people are most fascinated about, I have found. When I was about 6 months out, I could eat about 1/2 cup of food. I am up to 1 cup now, which is exactly where they like us to be. BUT IT TAKES TIME. Offer to be her sounding board--you'll learn things just by hearing what she's saying.

 

Sugar is a HUGE NO NO so please don't plan dessert. It was nearly a year before I could even have fruit. Bariatric people MUST concentrate on protein protein protein. The average guideline is 80 grams of protein a day. When your stomach is now the size of an egg and is swollen, it is challenging to get it all in. The last thing she should be eating is salad, vegetables, desserty stuff, pizza or pasta. (I used to love salads and still cannot eat it.)

 

Perhaps she doesn't know that this is making her ill, if she is. I didn't realize it because my surgeon told me I could eat "regular" food (good protein choices). I tried steak (hey, that's good protein, right?) and I was upchucking in the bathroom not 5 minutes later. So even though my surgeon told me I could eat regular (not pureed) food, it doesn't mean my pouch was ready for it.

 

I started thinking about it and realized I had less nausea when I ate slippery ground up foods and if that's what I needed to do--even 6 months out--then that's what I would do until I could tolerate other things better.

 

One day I could have a bite of steak. I could try steak again 2 days later and I was in the bathroom being sick. I have accepted this and still to this day primarily stick with soft loose slippery foods... chili is a favorite. I love soup beefed up with protein. I drink wonderful protein drinks made for bariatric patients. Baked chicken without the skin (the skin makes me sick now) with GRAVY is really good. I make hamburger gravy and will treat myself every once in awhile to a tablespoon of mashed potatoes with the hamburger gravy over it. Soft, "lubricated" food--as we cannot drink for 1/2 hour before we eat or after we eat. This is why pork, steak, sandwiches (besides the bread being a hugely poor choice) is so hard to eat for us.

 

At about 12 months I began to get a physical hunger. I get hungry about every 3 hours which is perfect. I'm thrilled with this, but the point is is that it TAKES TIME and your SIL (and her spouse) need to understand that they are on an incredible journey--one that is uniquely their own, but yet a journey that requires patience. HE needs to understand she will NEVER eat the way she used to. She will NEVER use food as entertainment again. That the old "SIL" is now gone and it takes time to develop new and healthy long-term habits.

 

My husband has been wonderful in my process. There are times that it is easier to not even sit at the table. He has accepted this. He is more concerned that I am ok than I am behaving "differently" than I used to.

 

Ask her how she feels about putting out the spread you used to and what she would like. Don't accept her apologetic "oh, I don't want to put you out for ME" stuff. (See this is where I am bold and tell people what I require, as *I* am the only one that is going to take care of myself.)

 

She might do well with cheese. Lunch meat even today is a struggle for me (and I know other bariatric patients that even 10 years out cannot eat it without paying for it).

 

Sorry--these thoughts are running through my brain very quickly... I type as I think them so sorry if this seems fragmented.

 

There is a website that I really like. It's called www.bariatriceating.com This is where I have a support system (they have forums for people who are bariatric patients and the people who are in their lives), education, DELICIOUS recipes (on this, my 2nd Thanksgiving post-op, I made my first dessert--a pumpkin cheesecake that was to die for delicious from the recipe section here), and the protein I love so much. Perhaps you could also pose your questions on these forums because these people are very very supportive (and very honest in their answers).

 

Also, your SIL might like knowing about it, too, because she might need to connect with other people who are going through similar things. Just a suggestion...

 

I am sorry this is so long, but I hope this in even one aspect might help you. I am voting for talking with her and asking her to help you understand so it doesn't feel so weird and you don't have to then skirt around the elephant in the middle of the room for the rest of your lives together.

 

Best of luck,

[kanitter]

I see the last post is way back in Sept so I hope someone reads this!

 

I have not had this operation, or do I have a weight issue, but my SIL does and had the surgery about late summer. I have read every single post here trying to educate myself as to what she was going through, and to calm my fears for her. I feel like I know you all!!

 

Her husband of 3 years, also not overweight was very suppportive in her decision, and paid for the surgery. My SIL had little money prior to the marriage and this came from his savings. Yet lately it seems his support is wavering some. She however has told me she is happy with her decision and wish she had done it years ago.

 

So now where I need help. She and husband will come over for New years eve dinner. I dont want to ask her what I can cook because I know she will feel it an imposition on my part, although it is not. I also do not want to increase the (maybe) lack of support from the husband who is use to and enjoys the fancy spreads I put out for the holidays. Also, after this time period just last week she has told me she still cannot eat any pork or beef. I dont think this has been all that easy for her.

 

And I noticed....

She had a 50th family birthday party for husband at her house. She really avoided sitting at the table, cleaned kitchen and finally sat down and ate some salad.... The next week she had a 50th birthday party for husband at a resturant( a huge event) and I heard her husband say are you not going to eat, and she said I am too nervous and I could hear the fustration in his voice....

 

So what I want to do is cook a dinner of something she can eat, in the portion she can eat, while not making it obvious to husband that I am doing this....

 

Can you guys PLEASE help me?

Is chicken or turkey my only options, how about fish, veggies and dessert... Are there any issues with dairy products, especially cheese?Perhaps you can tell from my post that I love my SIL to death and this is very important to me to make this an enjoyable and stress free night for her.

 

I dont ask her many questions because I dont want to make her uncomfortable.... From the other side of the fence I will tell you all it is hard on us to know what to do or say to our loved ones when they take this huge step and welcome any advise about also.

 

Many thanks to anyone who reads this and responds. I would be very greatful.

 

 

Just by reading your post it's very obvious that you do care about your sil very much and that you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable but that it would really make you happy to be able to make foods she could eat. That's really great because it really helps the person who has had the surgery to know that they have family or friends backing them up and cheering them on. Something you might want to try is just try telling your sil just what you've posted here. Don't make it out that she is so different now that you don't know what to make for her, but that you are proud of what she has accomplished and it would make you happy to be able to contribute to her success in a small way such as preparing foods she can eat. As you've probably figured from reading the different posts, all of us have different foods we now can tolerate and some we can't. The bad thing is most of the time we don't know until we try. Like for me, I used to drink quite a bit of milk, now I can't drink it at all, but I can eat cheese or yogurt and that doesn't bother me at all. Valancy1 can't eat some foods, eggs and such, that I can eat just fine. So we're all different. Just let your sil know you care and that you'd like to help. After that it's up to her. But come back here if you have more questions or if you'd like to send your sil here also. My weight is still holding at about 114 and I feel great so as far as I'm concerned it was the best decision I've made.