How do teens find their family onboard?

[wizard-of-roz]

We use the Information [Purser's] Desk as our "meeting place!" There's always seating nearby and, we wait for each other.

The moment we get onboard a ship with our kids, it's the first place we identify and clearly state that this is where we will meet for meals/shows/excursions and various other activities onboard.

Each night you are given the "Patter" [it's the activity schedule of the following day.] We highlight the activities and the time that we're going to attend them and make sure they have a copy.

We always were dressed and ready before them. But, they ALWAYS were at the meeting place before it was time to go to the venue.

If they're are not going to attend the same thing we are then they're given the meeting time and, they'd be at the Information Desk at that time.

We, too, believe in mutual "respect." These types of vacations require that our children behave in a thoughtful and respectful way towards adults and other children.

We always enjoy their company and can't wait for the next adventure!

 

If something happened on the trip that was a "lapse" of judgement on their part........they were NOT included on the next trip or they would be punished appropriately.

"NO GOOD OR BAD DEED GOES UNNOTICED!"

[clojacks]

This was our way of doing it too. My first rule, I don't care where you are going but you better be there if I come looking for you. Firm rule, no deviation. I take my 18 YO niece on a cruise with us. She says she'll be with my DD. I pop up about 30 minutes later and she's wandered off with some "friends" she's met. I find her on deck, the bunch of them sitting on lounge chairs. I blasted her. I'm pretty sure she was embarassed. Don't know, don't care. I told her rule #1 was be where you said you were going to be or else. Never happened again. I'm still her favorite aunt. :D

 

The key is to check in with each other. The ship is big but no so big you can't figure out where you are going. I'll be in the casino, you'll be up at the pool, kind of thing.

 

Nothing like family vacation memories. I have never ever felt the appropriate way to deal with my kids...when they were 13 and 11 or now when they are 23 and 21...was to embarass then, particularly in front of their peers. But that's just me maybe. I guess everyone has their own style. Might also be why our kids still enjoy traveling with us at their age, since we treat them as adults....that we love like kids!

[notentirelynormal]

Nothing like family vacation memories. I have never ever felt the appropriate way to deal with my kids...when they were 13 and 11 or now when they are 23 and 21...was to embarass then, particularly in front of their peers. But that's just me maybe. I guess everyone has their own style. Might also be why our kids still enjoy traveling with us at their age, since we treat them as adults....that we love like kids!

 

Thanks for your sarcasm. Actually, I didn't feel the need to explain in detail but just for you I will. I took her aside and talked to her privately. She was only embarrassed by the fact I checked up on her and she knew she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. She had known these kids less then an hour but chose to leave the safety of her cousins to go off with them. My kids still respect and like/love me so no worries there. They are both married with kids of their own and we continue to travel together as a large family. They are both Elite on Princess and my 5 YO grandson just completed his 5th cruise in April.

 

As for my niece's memories... she still tells people how much she enjoyed this cruise (Panama) and the wonderful opportunity it was for her. That whole three minutes of scolding didn't seem to scar her in any way. Ten years later, this is still her only trip out of the state of California and she was/is extremely naive. She is now married with kids of her own as well and we are still close.

[clojacks]

Thanks for your sarcasm. Actually, I didn't feel the need to explain in detail but just for you I will. I took her aside and talked to her privately. She was only embarrassed by the fact I checked up on her and she knew she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. She had known these kids less then an hour but chose to leave the safety of her cousins to go off with them. My kids still respect and like/love me so no worries there. They are both married with kids of their own and we continue to travel together as a large family. They are both Elite on Princess and my 5 YO grandson just completed his 5th cruise in April.

 

As for my niece's memories... she still tells people how much she enjoyed this cruise (Panama) and the wonderful opportunity it was for her. That whole three minutes of scolding didn't seem to scar her in any way. Ten years later, this is still her only trip out of the state of California and she was/is extremely naive. She is now married with kids of her own as well and we are still close.

 

This description paints your interaction with her in a much more favorable light. To say you "blasted her" in an internet forum, gives all kinds of people, like myself, who don't know you and will never meet you the opportunity to form unfair opinions of you based on that short sentence. You don't need anyone on here to respect you, to like you, or to agree with your parent methodologies. But, to be fair to your niece, and to you...coming on here and presented it like you are proud of embarrassing her by, in your words, "blasting her" is going to leave a lot of us sympathetic towards her and disappointed in you as the adult. Keep enjoying traveling with them....it is a treasure I hope to never lose.

[WNT]

We have a family rule that regardless what the parents or kids are doing, we always meet back at our rooms at 6:00 PM to dress and have dinner together. The kids appreciate the opportunity to recharge, and it allows all of us to compare notes and plan the next day.

[wizard-of-roz]

Thanks for your sarcasm. Actually, I didn't feel the need to explain in detail but just for you I will. I took her aside and talked to her privately. She was only embarrassed by the fact I checked up on her and she knew she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. She had known these kids less then an hour but chose to leave the safety of her cousins to go off with them. My kids still respect and like/love me so no worries there. They are both married with kids of their own and we continue to travel together as a large family. They are both Elite on Princess and my 5 YO grandson just completed his 5th cruise in April.

 

As for my niece's memories... she still tells people how much she enjoyed this cruise (Panama) and the wonderful opportunity it was for her. That whole three minutes of scolding didn't seem to scar her in any way. Ten years later, this is still her only trip out of the state of California and she was/is extremely naive. She is now married with kids of her own as well and we are still close.

 

There really is no need to explain or qualify your disciplinary tactics......only YOU know how they worked or not and how your niece benefited from them.

I don't think anyone meant to be insulting or cast aspersion's on how you handled the situation. I also tend to get sensitive when it comes to my kids and other family members. It's the "Lioness" thing in us women.

 

Honestly, if we could count the sleepless nights of worry over our children and our extended families children and turned it into money.....we'd all be millionaires.

[DrivesLikeMario]

Well, shoot! A funny post by someone else was removed!

[jean s]

When our son was a teenager we went on a couple of cruises with 5 other families. We had a total of 12 children with us. On port days we always went together on shore excursions. The kids loved the excursions which were mostly to beaches. On sea days we scheduled all meals together. Then we set up meeting times at a specific spot. We also brought lots of sticky notes to post messages in the cabins. We had so much fun and the teens seemed to really enjoy themselves. We truely did not have any problems.

[lilacbirman]

My son has the idea that since he doesn't know anyone, he will stick with us the entire trip. I'm hoping he will find one or two boys his age that he can hang out with otherwise he will be bored being with five adults the entire trip.

 

I initially thought that getting walkie-talkies would be the way to go but now maybe we will try the post it method. Or maybe we may not need any method. :p

[pkdof]

Our rule is that the kids have to tell us where they are going to be. If they leave to go somewhere else, they have to leave us a voicemail telling us when and where they are going and how long they'll be there. And we also have a meet up time for meals.

[LoveThisCruisingThing]

Well, shoot! A funny post by someone else was removed!

 

Hey that post was mine. LOL

[m steve]

They find their parents as lame as they were at home.

[LoveThisCruisingThing]

They find their parents as lame as they were at home.

 

 

LOL :p

[kruisey]

Why would an 18 year old need to listen to you?

They love you and just wont to make certain that everything is OK with you.

Also that you are not getting into mischief disturbing some of the old foggies Like me onboard....;):D Or that you are not being led astray by one of us....:D;)

[pablo222]

They love you and just wont to make certain that everything is OK with you.

 

In the post I replied to, the 18 year old wasn't doing anything wrong.

They were simply not with another kid, but somewhere else chatting

with kids.

 

If this is a problem for the parent, the parent's head must just

explode when their 18yo goes away to college.

 

Or, to some sports tournament for a weekend; or, gasp, gets

their own apartment.

 

If the kid has gotten to 18, and the parent needs to nit-pick their

activities minute-by-minute, it's too late.

[kruisey]

[quote name='pablo222']In the post I replied to, the 18 year old wasn't doing anything wrong.
They were simply not with another kid, but somewhere else chatting
with kids.

If this is a problem for the parent, the parent's head must just
explode when their 18yo goes away to college.

Or, to some sports tournament for a weekend; or, gasp, gets
their own apartment.

If the kid has gotten to 18, and the parent needs to nit-pick their
activities minute-by-minute, it's too late.[/QUOTE]
When I was sweet sixteen my parents and I were at a holiday resort...The other teens were older than I and all went into a bar.....I went in with them and was partaking some of those wonderful sweet liquors when my mom showed her head round the door........Guess what I was banned from all bars in hotel.
My new friends were very kind to me becacause we all sneaked off the property and found another bar down the road....:D Could not get away with that one on a ship.