How do people cheat on their spouses?

[t1adams]

I did the same thing! I am 43 and my dh turned 50 last October! I planned the cruise back in August and it was sooooooooooo hard keeping it a secret. I did tell our 12yr old dd though. She was thrilled to be 'in on it.' But we didn't tell our 8yr old son. I didn't want to burden him with having to hold the secret for three months. We too did a surprise party for him. I had my dd take him on a scavenger hunt around our local outdoor shopping mall area. He had to go to different stores to buy little trinkets of clues. One was saltwater taffey. Another was Now and Later candy (the surprise party was 'now' the cruise was the 'later'....4/2). He also had to get a Thomas the Tank bday card. Thomas was for St. Thomas. Rest and Relaxation lotion from Bath and Bodyworks (there were a plethera of clues I could have used in that store but they would have been too obvious). He had to buy a 2011 calendar at the Barnes and Noble. He was supposed to finish the hunt by buying a "Virgin" pina coloda. (Virgin....for the "Virgin Islands" ;)) There were a few other clues he also had to buy. He started getting really upset though due to all the buying of stuff (tight wad). Then she had him drive her to the neighbors' house because they had "invited us over for his birthday dinner." Really though, we had about 25 people there waiting to surprise him.

 

The cruise isn't until 4/2. It's just around the corner now however, back on 10/20, it seemed like FOREVER away! But it gave us something to look foward to. We had an AWFUL previous year losing our oldest child at only 14yrs of age. We were a year and a half into the grief when this happened. We desperately needed that something to look foward to. It's been a God-send for sure.

 

Enjoy your secret! Try and just have fun with it. It's WELL worth it! (My hardest part was sneaking my money out of my paychecks every week. But I was able to do that because I am a contractor and my pay varies every week anyway.)

[PaulMedik]

..........

 

I'm really not sure this is worth it . . . 8 weeks of a grumpy wife for one big moment of surprise?

 

.............!

 

 

 

KentuckyKat,

 

Eight weeks of a grumpy wife is not worth it, but do keep in mind that it's your frustration and he likely isn't aware of it. Quite frankly we males aren't that perceptive. There are exceptions, but I can't speak for those folks because I don't identify with them.

 

You just need to somehow wrap your head around the fact that you aren't keeping a secret, you just aren't telling him. That's how we as males think about things and it works for us.

 

I must say though when I read the title of this thread I was thinking you were sure to be catching grief from everyone! :D Just quit thinking about it as cheating and you'll be fine.

[AddictedtoFL]

I did the same thing! I am 43 and my dh turned 50 last October! I planned the cruise back in August and it was sooooooooooo hard keeping it a secret. I did tell our 12yr old dd though. She was thrilled to be 'in on it.' But we didn't tell our 8yr old son. I didn't want to burden him with having to hold the secret for three months. We too did a surprise party for him. I had my dd take him on a scavenger hunt around our local outdoor shopping mall area. He had to go to different stores to buy little trinkets of clues. One was saltwater taffey. Another was Now and Later candy (the surprise party was 'now' the cruise was the 'later'....4/2). He also had to get a Thomas the Tank bday card. Thomas was for St. Thomas. Rest and Relaxation lotion from Bath and Bodyworks (there were a plethera of clues I could have used in that store but they would have been too obvious). He had to buy a 2011 calendar at the Barnes and Noble. He was supposed to finish the hunt by buying a "Virgin" pina coloda. (Virgin....for the "Virgin Islands" ;)) There were a few other clues he also had to buy. He started getting really upset though due to all the buying of stuff (tight wad). Then she had him drive her to the neighbors' house because they had "invited us over for his birthday dinner." Really though, we had about 25 people there waiting to surprise him.

 

The cruise isn't until 4/2. It's just around the corner now however, back on 10/20, it seemed like FOREVER away! But it gave us something to look foward to. We had an AWFUL previous year losing our oldest child at only 14yrs of age. We were a year and a half into the grief when this happened. We desperately needed that something to look foward to. It's been a God-send for sure.

 

Enjoy your secret! Try and just have fun with it. It's WELL worth it! (My hardest part was sneaking my money out of my paychecks every week. But I was able to do that because I am a contractor and my pay varies every week anyway.)

 

I can see why he's getting upset, if I was in his shoes I would think that I am being torture :), for all your ladies out there thinking about doing this, please try to limit your clues to one of the following stores : Futureshop, Bestbuy, HomeDepot, or Lowe :D

[cuted126]

OH boy,I can relate to the OP! My conscience is the same way it will eat me up. I could never ever keep a secret from hubby,even if it was a great surprise like this! I would feel bad about the secret instead of feeling like a great wife giving him a great gift lol.

 

As far as two cruises in 3 months I would be overjoyed with that!!

I so agree with the statement below!

OH have fun with it!!! Everytime you start getting grumpy, just think of his face and how happy he will be!!!

 

[Nanaimobound]

It is very hard, but so well worth it!

I actually never told my husband at all last June.

he had a scheduled vacation and thought we were going to work on the house and build a new fence that week. Since we had just returned in May from our Conquest cruise I knew he would never guess the truth!

We went to breakfast on the morning of our flight with our kids, who had our pre packed luggage ready to put in our truck. I gave him an anniversary card that just said I love You, drive to the airport right now, no questions allowed.

it was the best day of my life, and his! I had a Limo waiting for us, and he thought we were going to Disneyland because we flew to L.A. it was so great he didn't know anything until we got to the hotel which was across the street from the port.

Cruise critic was my outlet to talk about it. I was on the RCI boards everyday.

Yes it was hard but it felt good to have a super surprise like that. I was proud of myself for not blowing it, although I almost did a couple of times!

[Neotericisis]

HAHAHA! LOVE this title! I thought it would be about how people cheat when they are on cruises since they are technically always with their spouses (I've heard horror stories of it happening right here on CC LOL).

 

I totally understand, I HATE keeping a secret from my DH as well! I am normally really good at planning, and I always do something creative, but I never had to keep something as big as a crusise from him LOL. Yeah, I would probably do what a previous poster said and tell him at dinner or something lol. BUT, seeing his face when you get to the cruise port would be priceless!!!

 

I think the only way I would get my DH to take off would be to convince him we were going somewhere else- ie: tell him we are spending a week in MIA, and instead of going to the hotel, we go to the cruise port :)

 

Good luck- lovely idea- enjoy BOTH cruises!:D

[bonnys]

For our upcoming Legend cruise, only my DH and I know about it. It is going to be a TOTAL surprise for our two kids (16 & 11). We originally had a cruise booked (that we should be on RIGHT NOW!) but had to cancel. So our kids are really bummed and keep mentioning that we should be on our cruise. We keep telling them that we are looking into a Christmas cruise but they keep complaining. We have told them that we are going to Tampa in April with my DH because he has meetings for work. We have even gone so far as to tell them that the hotel messed up our reservation and that we have to change hotels after the first night. We are going to get a taxi to take us to the port and only then will they know the truth.:D I am so excited to be able to surprise them like this! Oh, I do have one other surprise. DH flys every week for work so when we go on vacation we take Amtrak (if we do not drive). I have secretly upgraded us to sleeper accomodations round trip. No one but me will know til we get on the train. I am hoping DH will pick up on the fact that I like surprises.:p

[Morgsmom]

How funny! I NEVER EVER can keep a secret and it's just from DD. I always say, "oh, I'll just spring it on her a week ahead of time" and then, whammo, I am on the CC boards trolling around for ideas and DD either guesses or (more likely) notices the uptick in my mood and the lift in my step and asks, "um, mom, did you book a cruise?" :D

[TrishLoves2Cruise]

I hate surprises too! (It's the control-freak in me!) But DH LOVES surprises. In fact, before I booked the cruise, I told him that I was trying to plan a weekend trip for his birthday, but I couldn't pull it off (because of school and family commitments) and he was disappointed that I even told him that! He said, "I know you don't like surprises, but I love surprises and that would have been so wonderful!"

 

So I just HAVE to keep it a secret until his birthday! Then he will still have plenty of time to do his own excursion planning (which he loves to do) before school is out and we actually set sail. I just keep reminding myself that if I break down and tell him now, there will be no birthday present at all (as there is clearly no more disposable $$ with two cruises coming up!). :o

 

I understand where you're coming from KentuckyKat. Now that you have made this thread it will be easier to keep the secret. When it gets tough and you're about to crack and tell him. Post it on here and it will help you as a way to vent and keep control. Don't worry, I'll listen!!

[Neotericisis]

@ Bonny's- that is wonderful!

[Chris41]

I HATE secrets!

 

I am trying to surprise my DH with a cruise for his 40th birthday and keeping this secret is KILLING me! I am grumpy and distracted and short-tempered and self-absorbed and :mad::mad::mad::mad: . . . and I have SIX WEEKS to go before his birthday when I will finally get to tell him about the cruise I booked last month! I am soooo bad at keeping secrets! (Some friends and I skipped school one day in high school 30 years ago and went to the mall, then I came home, was overcome by guilt, and confessed to my parents! :eek: )

 

I'm really not sure this is worth it . . . 8 weeks of a grumpy wife for one big moment of surprise?

 

And the worst part is that he has now decided that we will take the whole family on a cruise in the fall. I could not tell him why I was reluctant to book the fall cruise -- so now I have booked them both! (Different ships and cabins but almost same itinerary.) We have not cruised in 6 years and now we are cruising twice in 3 months!!

 

Will he even be excited about his surprise cruise with me in July if we are already planning a cruise with whole family in October? :confused: UUUGGGHHH!

 

Sorry, just had to get this off my chest and you guys are the only people I can talk to!

 

 

From a husbands point of view...H..L NO it is not worth 8 weeks of grouchy wife. In fact I can't think of a single thing that would be worth that 8 weeks....lol.....Good Luck and I hope you have a great time

[USNUZULOOSE]

Think of it this way you have a second one booked so just focus on that one and you wont have to spill the beans as you are focused on the other trip. Hope your husband enjoys his surprise.

[cruisingreena]

Thanks guys! You have given me the strength to carry on (at least for a while).

 

Jennim - a scavenger hunt is a great idea! :rolleyes: I have been thinking of how to tell him when his birthday finally comes. I think I will have our 4 children each give him cruise-related gifts (i-tune gift card with cruise music list; sunscreen; loud island shirt; . . .??) He will assume they all relate to the fall cruise, then I will give him a sheet with info. re the summer cruise. SURPRISE!

 

Sherrybaby412 - Can't really change the second itinerary (has to be during fall break and from port we can drive to - can't do airfare for 5 people). And booked ES for first cruise so don't want to make any changes to that. :( I am hoping we can "scope out" the ports (doing adult things first time) and get ideas of what kids would like to do on second cruise.

 

OOOMwizard - Yes, that is what I keep telling myself - that it will be a totally different experience when it is just the two of us. In fact, every time we talk about the fall cruise one of us says something about how we secretly wish it was just the two of us (as on our prior cruises). That is what makes me think he will still be excited about the Birthday cruise! And just think, none of the usual end-of-cruise depression because we know we will cruise again soon!! :D

 

Okay, you've made me excited again and strengthened my resolve! Thanks ever so much!

 

we surprised our daughter and added her to our cruise after had already booked it..we gave her an envelope with a paper on it was written 75.00 shopping spree at the mall, then i said...or....do you wanna trade it in for another envelope.....and the gifts increased and decreased from 200.00 shopping spree to an apple or orange...then finally the last envelope was the cruise...she was thriled

 

hang in there i know its hard but you will feel so good about yourself the day of and his face will be well worth the wait

[KentuckyKat]

Do you realize there have been over 1,400 views of this thread in 7 hours? Shame on you people! LOL ;)

 

Seriously, thanks for all the support. After hearing all your great surprise stories, I am more determined than ever to keep the secret!

 

Ooops, here he comes! :eek: Bye

[travelntreats]

Guess I just don't get the "grumpy" part ???? Holding a secret is one issue, but what is to be grumpy about ??? Your going on 2 cruises !!!

 

I kept a 25th anniversary cruise well hid up until 3 weeks before the cruise....allowed plenty of time for the anticipation and made for a happy spouse !

[Carababe38]

I came home from work in January and he told me he was scheduling a cruise for my 40th B-Day in May....Funny thing is I was looking at the same cruise the day before without his knowledge!!!! I guess we can read each others minds!!!!! Love suprises but I also have loved being absorbed in the trip excitement!!! Makes it easier to get through my days at work!!!!:p

[jennim]

glad I could help.. have fun:p

[smallworldtraveller]

we came home from our first cruise in October last year, two weeks later i booked our next cruise for this October but did not tell husband.... it killed me not to open my big mouth and tell him until Christmas. I have a very hard time keeping a secret from him.... but I managed, i even booked his time off of work, his employer loves that I would do this for him, and they help me to make sure that he gets the time off. As the first thing i always hear is I don't know if I can get the time off...

 

We were travelling to Cuba christmas morning and i told him to pick a piece of paper out of an envelope which had a date on it ( all the little pieces of paper all had the same date on them :D.) I started this at the hotel we were at before we flew out. On the plane i gave him excursion ideas one at a time then got him to pick a date again, before we landed in Cuba he figured out we were cruising again, it was a wonderful surprise for him. But i also like that he knows ahead of time so he can enjoy mytime planning it all. i plan he comes with me and follows :p

[Hrdtail]

You remind me of the lady on the Saturday Night Live skit that can't keep a secret and loves surprises!!!!

 

 

http://www.videosurf.com/video/saturday-night-live-surprise-141755994

[izmeeh]

What would happen if the husband and wife decide to surprise each other, and both of them book the same cruise using the ES rate?

[MadMark]

Hello everyone! I am KentuckyKat's DH! What a wonderful surprise I just received yesterday for my birthday and anniversary! Just wanted to report that KK managed to indeed keep it a secret! Which, now I am concerned with just how deceitful she can be!

 

I just wanted to share that I think this is the perfect surprise. Like my DW mentioned, I do enjoy the planning and anticipation part of the trip and now I still have time to do that! I am soooo excited!

 

At work two days ago I was discussing my October cruise, which our kids are going on. And I told a coworker that I was excited about that trip but would be a lot more excited if the kids weren't going! So now I am really thrilled! I can't wait to start planning our ports!

[truchattycathy]

What a lucky man you are to have such a thoughtful wife. :D

[Virginia_Native]

I told my wife to never suprise me with a vacation, half the fun for me is the anticipation and the planning!

[happylady]

Hello everyone! I am KentuckyKat's DH! What a wonderful surprise I just received yesterday for my birthday and anniversary! Just wanted to report that KK managed to indeed keep it a secret! Which, now I am concerned with just how deceitful she can be!

 

I just wanted to share that I think this is the perfect surprise. Like my DW mentioned, I do enjoy the planning and anticipation part of the trip and now I still have time to do that! I am soooo excited!

 

At work two days ago I was discussing my October cruise, which our kids are going on. And I told a coworker that I was excited about that trip but would be a lot more excited if the kids weren't going! So now I am really thrilled! I can't wait to start planning our ports!

 

So glad the the surprise worked!! I'm surprising my DH with a belated 30th anniversary, birthday and Christmas cruise 1/29/12. I'm not sure when I'm going to tell him either during our May cruise or (if I can last that long), in December for his birthday.

 

It's so funny reading what KK went through! I decided to up grade from an oceanview to a balcony on our May cruise as a surprise to DH (I did the same thing on DCL Magic). I went with the guaranteed balcony rate. A few months ago, the rates dipped and I was able to change to an 8D and save @ $100. At dinner that night, I wasn't even thinking! In conversation I said, "I called our TA today and she was able to switch us from a guaranteed balcony to a 8D cabin." He looked at me with a confused look and said "What balcony?" :oBusted:o

[Cool Waters]

Man, I thought this was going to be a juicy thread with that title LOL

 

I can't keep a surprise a secret either. I always give my husband his gifts before Christmas or his birthday. I did buy him a new Expedition for his 33rd birthday. It was easy to keep that secret because he was in Iraq. I picked him up from the airport in it when he flew home for R&R. I sold his Optima when he left (I couldn't drive two cars and I got a great offer), so I pretty much had to get him a vehicle. I would love a surprise vacation if I could at least pack my own bag.

\

 

I thought it was going to be juicy too! :mad:............I'm disappointed :D