How do people cheat on their spouses?

[KentuckyKat]

I HATE secrets!

 

I am trying to surprise my DH with a cruise for his 40th birthday and keeping this secret is KILLING me! I am grumpy and distracted and short-tempered and self-absorbed and :mad::mad::mad::mad: . . . and I have SIX WEEKS to go before his birthday when I will finally get to tell him about the cruise I booked last month! I am soooo bad at keeping secrets! (Some friends and I skipped school one day in high school 30 years ago and went to the mall, then I came home, was overcome by guilt, and confessed to my parents! :eek: )

 

I'm really not sure this is worth it . . . 8 weeks of a grumpy wife for one big moment of surprise?

 

And the worst part is that he has now decided that we will take the whole family on a cruise in the fall. I could not tell him why I was reluctant to book the fall cruise -- so now I have booked them both! (Different ships and cabins but almost same itinerary.) We have not cruised in 6 years and now we are cruising twice in 3 months!!

 

Will he even be excited about his surprise cruise with me in July if we are already planning a cruise with whole family in October? :confused: UUUGGGHHH!

 

Sorry, just had to get this off my chest and you guys are the only people I can talk to!

[shelkate1]

Bless your heart!

[MagnoliaFly]

LOL! I can't imagine keeping that a secret for that long.

 

I upgraded our room to an aft balcony and was able to keep the secret for 2 days before I told him. The plan was to surprise him when we boarded and went to our room. He was kind of disappointed I wasn't able to surprise him but tried to not show it too much. :o

 

I know how you feel! Hang in there! We're here for you! :D

[CharlesKru]

I could keep the cruise a secret from my GF but I have no idea how I could convince her to take a week of time off without a very good reason why...

 

So how are you managing to convince your Husband to take the time off for the surprise cruise?

[mcwebber]

I HATE secrets!

 

I am trying to surprise my DH with a cruise for his 40th birthday and keeping this secret is KILLING me! I am grumpy and distracted and short-tempered and self-absorbed and :mad::mad::mad::mad: . . . and I have SIX WEEKS to go before his birthday when I will finally get to tell him about the cruise I booked last month!

 

I can't understand why you're grumpy. You should be on cloud nine.

[hfweather]

I know how you feel. When booking last years vacation, my husband wanted it to be a surprise. When he was growing up they never went on vacations, so he told me he always wanted his parents to surprise him with a vacation, and it never happened so he wanted me to do it.

 

I booked our cruise and you have no idea how hard it was not telling him, or sharing my excitement with him. The only thing he knew is the week we were going so he could get off work.

 

It was worth it though I wish you could have seen his face when we pulled up to the port.

 

Good luck!!! I know he'll be thrilled!

[elcuchio24]

Love the thread heading!

[renza]

I know how u feel, I surprised my husband two years ago on a Vegas trip for his 40th. I had it planned for 6 months, it was so hard to keep my mouth closed. I had him off of work without him knowing, his bags packed and in the car, my mom watching the kids. It was amazing, he got home at 11:30 pm from work and we were set to go to the airport by 4 am. He had know idea. The alarm went off and I told him to put his clothes on and get in the car, my mom was already over spending the night upstairs with her car in garage, so he didn't even know she was there. We arrive at the airport and he kept saying I have work today, I told him he would be back in time for work at 3 pm. Lol, and once in Vegas our friends came to the room screaming housekeeping, it was the best 4 nights ever. Good luck, u can do it, if I kept my mouth closed for 6 months I am sure u can do it.

[Cricket63]

Hope you can hold out that long!! I have a VERY hard time at keeping secrets!! :eek:

[okgirl]

I HATE secrets!

 

I am trying to surprise my DH with a cruise for his 40th birthday and keeping this secret is KILLING me! I am grumpy and distracted and short-tempered and self-absorbed and :mad::mad::mad::mad: . . . and I have SIX WEEKS to go before his birthday when I will finally get to tell him about the cruise I booked last month! I am soooo bad at keeping secrets! (Some friends and I skipped school one day in high school 30 years ago and went to the mall, then I came home, was overcome by guilt, and confessed to my parents! :eek: )

 

I'm really not sure this is worth it . . . 8 weeks of a grumpy wife for one big moment of surprise?

 

And the worst part is that he has now decided that we will take the whole family on a cruise in the fall. I could not tell him why I was reluctant to book the fall cruise -- so now I have booked them both! (Different ships and cabins but almost same itinerary.) We have not cruised in 6 years and now we are cruising twice in 3 months!!

 

Will he even be excited about his surprise cruise with me in July if we are already planning a cruise with whole family in October? :confused: UUUGGGHHH!

 

Sorry, just had to get this off my chest and you guys are the only people I can talk to!

 

I don't like surprises. I'm just not that flexible. Are you sure your husband is going to be thrilled to have that kind of double financial expenditure? I would hate for your surprise to be spoiled by his less than enthusiastic reaction.

 

Why not take him out for a romantic dinner for two and surprise him now, so that he can start getting into the pre-cruise excitement mode with you. The sentiment won't be lost.

 

Just tell him to chill for the next 6 weeks cause you have it all taken care of.....all he has to do is show up and have a great birthday cruise.....

 

It's something he can go brag about to his co-workers for the next 6 weeks.........maybe keep where you are going, what ship you are on and what ports and excursions you have planned and all that a secret.....so he can be excited and in the dark all at the same time..........

[KentuckyKat]

So how are you managing to convince your Husband to take the time off for the surprise cruise?

 

You're right - There is no way I could have pulled it off if I had to arrange for him to take vacation time. But DH is a teacher, so he is off in the summer (that's why the cruise does not strictly coincide with his birthday). But I am still having problems keeping the week totally free. He is our church's VBS directors and he suggested that week for VBS. So I had to sneak around and tell the pastor and a few key teachers so they would nix that week. And our niece just announced that she is planning on getting married "toward the end of July" so I had to tell part of his family so that (all things being equal) she would not pick a date while we are gone.

 

I can't imagine how people keep it a secret right up until sailing - I would DIE!

[jennim]

I did the same thing for my husbands 50th. And it was really had to keep the secret. A good friend and her husband were going us with and "he" had a harder time keeping the secret. Every time they came to the house it was "wait till you see your gift", "better than Christmas", "time for another cruise" (how about a New England Cruise" etc, this went on for 5 months... To make the "gift" interesting (not that the cruise isn't interesting enough) I turned it into a scavenger hunt at his party. One clue was in our Coo coo clock (hope you'll go coo coo for this gift, which led to another clue... We were sailing on the Glory so one clue was a small American Flag etc... All the clues led him to the iternary which was wrapped. (just a though:p)

 

He'll appreciate all the trouble you went through and it's a good thing that lying doesn't come easy. Id worry other wise ;)

[Sherrybaby412]

Why not change itinerary for second cruise? That would solve some things. Just try to smile and think I'm going on not one but 2 cruises this year. :D

[KentuckyKat]

I don't like surprises. I'm just not that flexible.

 

I hate surprises too! (It's the control-freak in me!) But DH LOVES surprises. In fact, before I booked the cruise, I told him that I was trying to plan a weekend trip for his birthday, but I couldn't pull it off (because of school and family commitments) and he was disappointed that I even told him that! He said, "I know you don't like surprises, but I love surprises and that would have been so wonderful!"

 

So I just HAVE to keep it a secret until his birthday! Then he will still have plenty of time to do his own excursion planning (which he loves to do) before school is out and we actually set sail. I just keep reminding myself that if I break down and tell him now, there will be no birthday present at all (as there is clearly no more disposable $$ with two cruises coming up!). :o

[ooomwizard]

As mentioned above, I think you might be giving him a dis-service in not telling him right away. Part of the fun of the cruise is the anticipation (and preparation.) Take him to a nice dinner and tell him during, it'll be his "early" B-day present, and a suprise too. You'll be happier and he'll be allowed to have the fun of anticipation even more.

 

Also, booking the second cruise may have put minor a damper on the unreveled first cruise. I like to spread out my "major" activities so there is always something to look forward to. Two cruises nearly in a row, that's a great thing. Didn't mention if the family is going both cruises. Cruising without the kids will be much different than a family cruise. Without kids is my preference and it definitely will be different (better!)

 

Congrats!

[Cobra1365]

I'm not sure what surprised me more...that you would be asking for advice on how to cheat on your spouse or that I actually opened the thread!:D:D

 

I would just go with it. I can think of a lot more difficult situations to be in than "having" to cruise twice in 3 months.;) Now if it is a financial problem...then you need to go ahead and discuss with him.

[kr8z]

Man, I thought this was going to be a juicy thread with that title LOL

 

I can't keep a surprise a secret either. I always give my husband his gifts before Christmas or his birthday. I did buy him a new Expedition for his 33rd birthday. It was easy to keep that secret because he was in Iraq. I picked him up from the airport in it when he flew home for R&R. I sold his Optima when he left (I couldn't drive two cars and I got a great offer), so I pretty much had to get him a vehicle. I would love a surprise vacation if I could at least pack my own bag.

[chasinraynbowz]

OH have fun with it!!! Everytime you start getting grumpy, just think of his face and how happy he will be!!!

 

I surprised my hubby with a surprise 50th b'day party. He is one who does NOT like surprises.... lol. At first he kind of glared at me, but once he saw all the people there who love him (some drove over 8 hours), he was thrilled. When it was all over, he gave me a hug and told me it was the b'day present he had ever gotten!!!

 

Bon voyage!!!

[KentuckyKat]

Thanks guys! You have given me the strength to carry on (at least for a while).

 

Jennim - a scavenger hunt is a great idea! :rolleyes: I have been thinking of how to tell him when his birthday finally comes. I think I will have our 4 children each give him cruise-related gifts (i-tune gift card with cruise music list; sunscreen; loud island shirt; . . .??) He will assume they all relate to the fall cruise, then I will give him a sheet with info. re the summer cruise. SURPRISE!

 

Sherrybaby412 - Can't really change the second itinerary (has to be during fall break and from port we can drive to - can't do airfare for 5 people). And booked ES for first cruise so don't want to make any changes to that. :( I am hoping we can "scope out" the ports (doing adult things first time) and get ideas of what kids would like to do on second cruise.

 

OOOMwizard - Yes, that is what I keep telling myself - that it will be a totally different experience when it is just the two of us. In fact, every time we talk about the fall cruise one of us says something about how we secretly wish it was just the two of us (as on our prior cruises). That is what makes me think he will still be excited about the Birthday cruise! And just think, none of the usual end-of-cruise depression because we know we will cruise again soon!! :D

 

Okay, you've made me excited again and strengthened my resolve! Thanks ever so much!

[hankandteri]

I'm a terrible secret keeper, but a couple of cruises ago I got the upsell call a week or so before we sailed and the deal was too good to turn down.

 

Somehow I was able to keep the upgrade a secret until the moment we opened the door to our cabin. DW had the most confused look on her face when she entered our grand suite.

 

After a moment of silence, she said "this doesn't look like the pictures you showed me." Priceless.

 

Hold off as long as you can. The payoff is worth it.

[4THELOVEOFBOO]

I agree totally!!!!

 

 

 

 

As mentioned above, I think you might be giving him a dis-service in not telling him right away. Part of the fun of the cruise is the anticipation (and preparation.) Take him to a nice dinner and tell him during, it'll be his "early" B-day present, and a suprise too. You'll be happier and he'll be allowed to have the fun of anticipation even more.

 

Also, booking the second cruise may have put minor a damper on the unreveled first cruise. I like to spread out my "major" activities so there is always something to look forward to. Two cruises nearly in a row, that's a great thing. Didn't mention if the family is going both cruises. Cruising without the kids will be much different than a family cruise. Without kids is my preference and it definitely will be different (better!)

 

Congrats!

[okgirl]

I hate surprises too! (It's the control-freak in me!) But DH LOVES surprises. In fact, before I booked the cruise, I told him that I was trying to plan a weekend trip for his birthday, but I couldn't pull it off (because of school and family commitments) and he was disappointed that I even told him that! He said, "I know you don't like surprises, but I love surprises and that would have been so wonderful!"

 

So I just HAVE to keep it a secret until his birthday! Then he will still have plenty of time to do his own excursion planning (which he loves to do) before school is out and we actually set sail. I just keep reminding myself that if I break down and tell him now, there will be no birthday present at all (as there is clearly no more disposable $$ with two cruises coming up!). :o

 

Well that for me would be a little better to find out on my birthday and then still have several weeks until the cruise actually happens.......Have a great time.......sister and I just got back from our 2nd cruise separated by only 2 weeks and I can understand the disposable $$ issue.......I just paid off the CC for the 1st S&S this morning and we've already got charges pending for our just completed 2nd S&S card...........

[hazeleyez3]

I could keep the cruise a secret from my GF but I have no idea how I could convince her to take a week of time off without a very good reason why...

 

So how are you managing to convince your Husband to take the time off for the surprise cruise?

 

 

That was what I had a problem with. I wanted to surprise my husband with a cruise to Alaska for his 30th. The trip was in May. I had to tell him Christmas day. That way he could put in the request at the beginning of the year, and, if the date wasn't good I still had time to change it to a different week.

[AddictedtoFL]

You need to stop coming here for the next six weeks, and find something elso to do to keep your mind distracted, like repaint your house or somethings :)

[michelle1836]

A friend I met on my first roll call surprised his wife. he told her that he was going away for work and she was going with him. He had to sneak and pack for her. she was definitely surprised