My baby is a TEENAGER!

[CanadianTwosome]

I've tried searching, but I can't seem to find the right key word, so I have to ask...

 

My little girl is officially a teenager now, and will no longer be in a 'sign-in' situation at the kid's club. I trust her completely - she's shown me on numerous occasions that she can make really good choices, including intervening more than once with friends who don't. The biggest reason she's able to do that is that I've spent a lot of time discussing potential situations with her and how to make those good choices.

 

That being said, I'm looking for some of those wonderful rules people have for their kids on board. We've never really needed a 'list' in the past because she's never been without us (outside the kids' club) while on board. I'm expecting to be 'ditched' a lot more on this one, though. I knew it would happen eventually! Ha ha ha

 

I think I have a pretty good handle on what my set of rules needs to include - no entering other cabins, no visitors in our cabin, no interfering with other passengers, etc. Because I'm so used to her being smart about things though, I'm worried that I might overlook something.

 

So, as I said, I'm looking for the lists of rules that I've seen posted here over and over again (but can't find! :o). I'm most interested in rules for teens (and any stories that could prepare me for the new experience), but all information is good information, so if you've got a good list, please share.

 

Thanks!! :)

[crusinmama06]

Were did the time go? :eek: The word I think you need to search for is CONTRACT. See, starting with this thread...

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=985351

 

I know there was one that had a contract for teens and it was pretty extensive. I will see if I can track it down for you.

 

EDITED TO SAY:

 

I found it: post #10

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1199310&highlight=contract

[Julienatul]

Congratulations!!! An exciting but scary moment I'm sure ;)

[cb at sea]

Aside from the obvious, like not going to anyone else's cabin or allowing anyone else into YOUR cabin, I would simply make sure she "checks in" with you on a regular basis!

 

When my kids hit the "teen" years, they, too, were pretty trustworthy. The same rules that applied at home worked well on vacations, too!

[Cruisin' Chick]

I know the feeling. My daughter was 13 on our last cruise. The rules about not going to another cabin w/o your permission, watching their drinks carefully (don't drink a soda that was out of one's sight for even a few minutes), not throwing things overboard, being back at the cabin by a specified time, writing notes for you, etc. are great ones.

[topspot]

Stay in public places only.

 

If the situation doesn't feel right to you....then its not, leave.

[kassimer1]

I would also add for her not to be lead into any non public areas by the cruise personel. Attacks have happened and she might do as they say because they ytell her she has to. I would tell her that if any crew tries to get her to go away from the public areas ( they might use a story like your moms hurt come with me....) that she tell that crew member that she will meet him at the customer service deck to verify that she needs to go some where and ask for a female crew to take her.

[CanadianTwosome]

Thanks so much to everyone for their replies!

 

Cruisinmama that contract was fabulous - and no surprise that you were the first to post and had links at hand! I saw your review on the NCL board; I loved the pictures and I'm glad you and your family enjoyed it. :)

 

Julienatul, it really is... I'm not even used to all the changes at home yet. Hormones are crazy things, aren't they? One day I had a little girl and the next day she was taller than me and talking about boys. Cruising is about to become a whole new experience!

 

CB_at_sea, check-ins are a great idea and we've already talked about it a little. We've never needed them in the past because when she wasn't at the Kid's Crew she was with us. I suspect this cruise will be different...

 

Cruisin' Chick, I'm not sure I would have remembered that one. My daughter doesn't drink soda or American-style iced tea though, so there won't be many opportunities for anyone to tamper with her drink. All it takes is one though, and even though I've had the conversation with my neice more than once, and I've discussed it with my daughter in the past, I don't know if I would have thought of it so thanks for the reminder.

 

Topspot, I'm just going to quote you. :)

 

Kassimer, I think you've given me a good reminder also. I have no concerns at all about my daughter following another passenger to a dangerous area, but I may have neglected to warn about potential crew danger. As soon as I started reading your post I thought the same thing - go directly to the service desk and verify the situation.

 

Again, thanks so much to everyone for the input. I actually feel like I was more on top of things than I thought, but some of these reminders were really good to have, and confirmation that I'd already covered some good information with her was nice to have also. :)

[notentirelynormal]

One of the major rules was always - I don't care where you are (well you know what I mean) but you BETTER be where you say you were going. I don't want to hear you say you're up at the pizza parlor if when I come looking for you, you are somewhere else. They knew I'd do spot checks.

 

If you feel the need to stay up later than usual, that's fine. BUT, if I paid for an excursion and it leaves early... you better be on it with a good attitude.

 

We took a cruise through the Panama Canal and the 18 YOs and the 22 YOs were complaining about getting up early to see the event. I said "no, problem, just write me out a check for your portion of the cruise cos THIS is the part that is special." Huh, they were all on deck within 10 minutes. The 2 that were mine explained the rules to the other 2.

 

My kids have both been cruising since they were around 8 - way before Kid's clubs.

[CanadianTwosome]

One of the major rules was always - I don't care where you are (well you know what I mean) but you BETTER be where you say you were going. I don't want to hear you say you're up at the pizza parlor if when I come looking for you, you are somewhere else. They knew I'd do spot checks.

 

If you feel the need to stay up later than usual, that's fine. BUT, if I paid for an excursion and it leaves early... you better be on it with a good attitude.

 

We took a cruise through the Panama Canal and the 18 YOs and the 22 YOs were complaining about getting up early to see the event. I said "no, problem, just write me out a check for your portion of the cruise cos THIS is the part that is special." Huh, they were all on deck within 10 minutes. The 2 that were mine explained the rules to the other 2.

 

My kids have both been cruising since they were around 8 - way before Kid's clubs.

 

This has always been one of our rules - being where you say you're going to be when you say you're going to be there - or letting someone know if plans change. We've had very few attitude issues over the years (so lucky to have a kid with an easy going disposition!), but it's happening occasionally now. I'm chalking it up to those lovely new hormones. That being said, I've been really impressed with how she's handling it. We've even laughed about it a couple of times, and we've always had a rule that no matter how rotten you might be feeling yourself, it's never okay to take it out on the people around you, so she's doing a really good job of remembering that. :)

 

I have to thank everyone on the thread again. My daughter and I had a really good talk about everything here, including the things that we both knew she was already aware of. We have talks like that all the time though... Me: I know you know this, but you understand it's my responsibility to talk to you about it anyway, right? Her: (*sigh*) Yup, let's do it. :p

 

She'll thank me later. :)

[potterduck]

We took post-it notes to keep each other informed of where we were. A note stuck to the stateroom mirror 'by main pool', 'meet MDR for 1.30 lunch' etc. Notes left on the sideboard can get moved too easily when tidying. We knew roughly what they were doing and vice versa.

[Onessa]

When our DD aged out of the kids clubs and into teen "stuff" a few years ago we came up with rules and I've posted this a few times since.

1. Stay in groups in public places that are open to your age group. Walk around the ship with your kid -- point out the bars, the gym, the solarium or other areas that have age limits that she does not meet. Point out places that are 'ok' -- game room, sports areas, library, teen club
   
2. Do not go into any other person's cabin.
   
3. When in our cabin alone, do not open the door for anyone, including friends or ship's crew
   
4. Follow the system of notes and check-in times/places. Everyone should be writing down where they are and post a reminder of when and where everyone is to meet. Insist all plans and changes of plans are documented. No one is excused from check-in
   
5. Follow the curfew (whatever you choose to impose)
   
6. Have extra check-in times during the evening or if the ship is in-port but you all are on-board (under-aged kids aren't supposed to be able to leave the ship without a parent, but . . . .)
   
7. Set daily and cruise-long limits to $$ on set sail pass(or equivalent). Your kid is responsible for staying on budget. (But monitor all of your accounts daily.)Do not drink anything that you did not see poured or eat anything that you did not get yourself.
   
8. Do not drink or eat anything that was out of your control or sight for any period of time. There are bad people out there and there are people out there with really strange (and dangerous) ideas of what might be funny
   
9. Floors are for walking upon/standing upon. Chairs, tables, railings, etc are not. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is not designed to be stood upon. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is a restricted area
   
10. Elevators and stairways are designed to get people from one deck to another. Do not use them as an entertainment devices and/or gathering place
    
11. You may go to the show with your friends (age appropriate) when at least one parent accompany you (the parent may agree to sit in the row behind them and tries to be inconspicuous
    

All the rules must be followed and there will be immediate and real consequences if they are not!

 

Let your kid know that they can and should invoke you (the parent) as the “bad guy” in order to get out of any situation that's uncomfortable or unpleasant. ("Omigosh, I gotta meet my mom in 3 minutes! Gotta go!")

 

On our first cruise where our DD was a teen, she met up with four other 12YO girls. We talked with their parents and agreed that they could walk about the ship TOGETHER staying only in public areas appropriate to their age. They swam (with adult supervision), played ping pong, ate, mini golfed, rock climbed (which at their age required a parent present), participated in teen group activities, played board games, and giggled a lot. If someone needed to go back to their cabin, all of the girls accompanied that girl "home" and a parent would accompany the last girl "home

 

We allowed our DD to go to her friend's cabins only when she specifically asked permission to go, they had a specific thing they planned to do while there, and we cleared it with at least one of the friend's parents. Fortunately we felt comfortable with these girls and their families -- she knows that while we were ok with it on this cruise, we might not be with other kids on other cruises.

She's been on another five cruises since then (and will be taking her driver's test on Friday! Speaking of getting old!). And with only minor tweaks these guidelines have served us very well!

Good luck and have fun!

[kathynewcruiser]

Hi, We're taking our 13 yr old on a Fjord Cruise in May. How did you get on, did you're daughter enjoy herself. Our's is not looking forward to it at the moment, doesn't want to leave her friends, so I'm a bit worried she'll hate the whole week! :-\

Thanks

 

Kathy

[bean24]

Just jumping on to say wow a teenager already, where have the last four years gone:). Hope all is well.

-Michelle

 

Sent from my DROID Pro using Tapatalk

[Onessa]

Hi, We're taking our 13 yr old on a Fjord Cruise in May. How did you get on, did you're daughter enjoy herself. Our's is not looking forward to it at the moment, doesn't want to leave her friends, so I'm a bit worried she'll hate the whole week! :-\

Thanks

 

Kathy

 

Unfortunately this kind of an attitude can become a self-fufilling prophesy if you don't watch out. You need to research your ship and destinations and find things that will interest her and get her interested now. You need to "talk up" that it will be an opportunity for her to meet new friends, etc. Check your Meet and Mingle board to see if there are other kids her age coming and have her get in touch with them.

 

And with a teen girl, you can always pull out the trump card - the shopping trip to get clothes and stuff to get ready. Maybe an iTunes card to load up on a few movies and tunes for the trip. (and a Fjords trip -- talk up the hunky Scandenvian boys she'll see :) )

 

When you get on board, work a bit to get her to mingle with other kids. Encourage her to talk to them and to go to a few of the early in the cruise teen club events.

 

Good Luck (and have fun, even if she doesn't!)

[parrotthead]

My girls were required to use the ships phones to leave a message on our cabin phone, (voicemail) when they were 'swiching locations'

ie" Hi mama, its 2:30 and were going to do Trivia in the (insert location)--love you"

"Hi mama, were going to the Buffett for a snack..its 3:30"

That way I always 'knew' the last place they were...

Sticky notes in the cabin work will too...(just be sure to not leave them on the outside of the door...saw this on a few doors...that worried me);)

[BCcruzer2]

We're going on our first cruise with our two teenage DS and teenage DD. Our kids are in their own room right beside ours. My question is will their key card to unlock their room allow them to also unlock our room? I like the idea of post it notes to tell us where they will be, but dont want them posting them to the outside of our door for everyone to see. I'd rather they have access to our room and post it in the cabin.

[6rugrats]

Our kids are in their own room right beside ours. My question is will their key card to unlock their room allow them to also unlock our room?

No. You would have to get them key cards for your cabin. Or better yet, you certainly should have key cards for their cabin. They can leave the notes for you in their cabin.

[BCcruzer2]

Thanks 6rugrats, that's a great suggestion!

[cruisinreunion]

We're going on our first cruise with our two teenage DS and teenage DD. Our kids are in their own room right beside ours. My question is will their key card to unlock their room allow them to also unlock our room? I like the idea of post it notes to tell us where they will be, but dont want them posting them to the outside of our door for everyone to see. I'd rather they have access to our room and post it in the cabin.

 

We did the same thing, and went to pursers desk and all got key cards to each others rooms.. we brought along lanyards for the kids and got the cards punched that way they always had their cards with them.. the cards for the other rooms did not have charging abilities,, it was mearly to get into each others rooms

[kathynewcruiser]

Unfortunately this kind of an attitude can become a self-fufilling prophesy if you don't watch out. You need to research your ship and destinations and find things that will interest her and get her interested now. You need to "talk up" that it will be an opportunity for her to meet new friends, etc. Check your Meet and Mingle board to see if there are other kids her age coming and have her get in touch with them.

 

And with a teen girl, you can always pull out the trump card - the shopping trip to get clothes and stuff to get ready. Maybe an iTunes card to load up on a few movies and tunes for the trip. (and a Fjords trip -- talk up the hunky Scandenvian boys she'll see :) )

 

When you get on board, work a bit to get her to mingle with other kids. Encourage her to talk to them and to go to a few of the early in the cruise teen club events.

 

Good Luck (and have fun, even if she doesn't!)

Thank you for the advice Onessa. :-)