12 year old only child

[amrstack]

We are looking at cruising either Celebrity or RCI next summer, but are having a bit of a dilemma about the age cut-offs for the different kids' clubs. DD will be 12 at that time and is an only child, so I'm concerned about her hanging out with the teen program. Are the younger "teens" grouped together for activities or is it mostly unsupervised free-for-all? She's participated in the kids' activities on both Carnival and Disney and had a blast, so we want her to be able to have as much fun as we the parents intend on having!

[cb at sea]

It's usually up to 14 for her age-group.....sort of "pre-teen" ages. They won't put a 12 year old with 17 year olds. She'll be fine on either line.

[amrstack]

Good to know. thanks!

[crusinmama06]

It's usually up to 14 for her age-group.....sort of "pre-teen" ages. They won't put a 12 year old with 17 year olds. She'll be fine on either line.

 

This actually isn't true. They DO group the 12-14's with the 15-17's on RCI and X on certain ships/certain sailings.

 

It all depends how many are onboard for that age group for THAT particular sailing. On both our Grandeur AND our Enchantment - RCI did combine those ages.

 

On our more popular Freedom Spring sailing - they were separated. But joined again for Indy off season.

[Uncle Fester]

This actually isn't true. They DO group the 12-14's with the 15-17's on RCI and X on certain ships/certain sailings.

 

It all depends how many are onboard for that age group for THAT particular sailing. On both our Grandeur AND our Enchantment - RCI did combine those ages.

 

On our more popular Freedom Spring sailing - they were separated. But joined again for Indy off season.

 

I concur with Michelle, but also add that the both the older and younger teen groups have joint access to the teen lounges even during the busiest seasons. So during organized teen activities they may separate groups, but both the younger and older kids can still hangout in the same lounge.

[amrstack]

We are really struggling with this issue. My other option is to cough up enough money so she can bring a friend and I would feel better the whole situation as they would be able to stick together. I guess I expected the 12yo's to still be gated up and not wandering the boat or hanging out with 17yo's. There's such a maturity gap between Tweens and Teens IMO.

In my researching (ok, obsessing, as DH puts it), it seems like Disney and NCL are the two lines that might meet our needs. I know she likes organized activity enough that she may even want to hang with the younger group.

And no, we don't plan on checking her in for the entire cruise. Just want to make sure she's got a place to go when she's sick of us!

 

What's the take on NCL's 11-13 group? I'm pretty sure Disney would work just fine for us, I'm not sure it works just fine for our budget this go round. :rolleyes:

thanks!

[amrstack]

CruisinMama06 - THANKS so much for posting all the kiddo info! I was just checking out HAL and was pleasantly surprised by their programs. Plus, it's Tween Specific. :rolleyes:

 

(And I promise I'm NOT a helicopter parent...LOL)

[crusinmama06]

CruisinMama06 - THANKS so much for posting all the kiddo info! I was just checking out HAL and was pleasantly surprised by their programs. Plus, it's Tween Specific. :rolleyes:

 

(And I promise I'm NOT a helicopter parent...LOL)

 

Hey, I am JUST like you :) I can't imagine "my little girl" being in with the 17 year olds (yes, she is 12).

 

As far as NCL - yes that age grouping was perfect for us. She loved it. And it didn't hurt that the ship was filled with other 12 year olds - even though we were sailing during the school year.

 

We haven't done HAL so I can't comment :)

[topspot]

Amrstak we have done HAL, but our DD (also an only child), is now 16. When we've sail HAL, the 3rd and 4th person in the room have been priced much lower (and in one case FREE :D) which allowed us to take a friend. I only mention this because you mentioned HAL, and this might work out for you. We knew that if they didn't like the program, they at least had each other and would make their own good time.

[crusinmama06]

Check back next month - we will have a full report on how a 12 year old does in a RCI club :) My oldest will be taking her first "teen" club cruise. After all of these cruises, she has finally "aged into" the teen club. I am more than anxious! ;)

[amrstack]

Yes - can't wait for your update! We are looking at Bermuda for next June so now it's just a matter of picking a ship. We sailed on Celebrity last fall and loved it, but it was just the two of us, and we kept muttering about how we'd never take DD on Celebrity.

 

Of course, we (I):D will probably change our minds a million times between now and then and end up on Disney anyways.

 

Has anyone ever brought a friend with them? Don't you have to bring some kind of waiver signed by the child's parents in case of emergency and basically granting you permission to take the kid out of the country?

[junglejane]

We were on the Celebrity Equinox on a Med cruise last summer when our older DD was 14. They did combine the age groups (12-17) for some activities because there wasn't a huge group participating. But keep in mind that very few 17 year olds are actually going to participate in any organized teen activities. Plus the older teens that do participate tend to use the activities as a launching point to go off in smaller groups on their own. The older teens will probably do their best to ditch the younger ones. When we go on the Silhouette this March, our younger DD will turn 12 on the second day of the cruise, and her older sister will be 16. The 16 year old will definitely not want to do teen activities with her little sister!

 

My plan is to review the teen activity sheet with my 12 year old each night and figure out which of the next day's activities she wants to try. She's not very independent, so I will probably make her older sister walk her to the activity and then I will arrange to meet up with her when it's over.

 

By the way, my older DD had a blast on the Equinox and both girls are looking forward to their Silhouette cruise.

[Gatrcruzer]

I can completely understand your concerns about your daughter being put with children so much older!

 

That said, my take from spending WAY too much time on these boards (according to my husband ;-) is that depending on how many kids are in each group, they may or may not combine, or might combine for particular activities. If you are going during an off-peak time (i.e., when school is in session), there is probably a higher likelihood of that happening on nearly all cruise lines. If you are going during peak time, maybe go with NCL so that the grouping is more comfortable. If you are going during an off-peak time, I might lean toward those lines that cater more towards families/children (RCI, Disney, maybe NCL or Carnival), so that there will be greater likelihood of enough kids in the age group that groups will be less likely to be combined. It's all just guesswork, though - who knows, maybe they won't combine, or maybe that one awesome friend who makes it a great vacation is on a less family oriented line. I also think that others have made some really valid points regarding grouping behaviors of teens, and the older ones not being interested in hanging out with the younger ones most of the time.

 

As far as bringing a friend...that sounds like a lot of added stress and responsibility to me. Maybe if it is a child you really know well and like, but I'd be hesitant to do this. Not only the cost...what if they have a falling out on the cruise and you are all stuck in a tiny room? What if that child gets hurt? What if that child engages in bad behavior? Plus, those cruise ship staterooms are so small...not much privacy.

 

Maybe you should just focus on finding a ship that is a good fit for your family. I'm thinking that a ship that has a lot to offer families might be a better choice so that if your daughter hates the clubs and/or doesn't meet friends she will still have fun things that she could do with you. Good luck!

[topspot]

Has anyone ever brought a friend with them? Don't you have to bring some kind of waiver signed by the child's parents in case of emergency and basically granting you permission to take the kid out of the country?

 

We have taken a child with us three times. Always the same child. It was one I have traveled with in Girl Scouts on several occasions prior to taking her on a cruise. Her mother was our troop leader, and I knew the rules and expectations of the friends family were similar to ours.

It was Crusinmama06 who helped me get together our permission letter several years ago. We include the child's name, the date of our travels, cruiseline, ship, departure port, ports we will be stoppin in. It also includes permission to make medical decisions in case of ilness or injury. The parents have this notarized.

We have never been asked for "the letter" but we are always prepared with one as we have learned here on CC that you can be denied boarding if you don't have this and are asked for it.

[mjkacmom]

On our last NCL cruise, one of our ds's was 12, and found the 10 - 12 kids club too babyish and boring (and trust me, he wasn't the most mature 12 year old). My oldest was 14, and she LOVED the teen club, and pretty much hung around with the younger teen set (actually, we rarely saw her again;)). It was quite the posse!

 

OT, just noticed your siggy, and it appears your dd is an irish dancer? Just returned from nationals, with a U9er who qualified for nationals next year, and a U11er who qualified for worlds next year. Still hoping to be able to afford our 2013 Breakaway cruise after all of this travel!

[amrstack]

mkjacmom - Congrats on your dancers' accomplishments! That is wonderful! Those kids work so hard.

Yes -she is an Irish Dancer - Novice U12 -so we just acquired "The Dress" and hopefully she won't grow out of it before she's out of the Novice level. :rolleyes: We just followed all the fun with our friends that did Nationals. I'm glad that is probably a few years off for us - don't think I'm ready for it yet! ;)

 

Thanks for the help, everybody! We do have a friend picked out as a potential "second" child. And believe me, all the responsibility fears have run through my head. I'm about 90% sure her parents will probably say no when we ask anyways. Looking at it from my own perspective, I don't think I'd let DD go with another family on a cruise just yet.

 

We are leaning towards sailing out of either Baltimore, NYC, or Bayonne since we can drive to those in a day easily. We still have a little bit of time for (me) obsessing over this. We have a pretty good selection of lines, which is great. I'd love to do Disney again, but it's a 19+ hour drive to Port Canaveral, and we are limited on vacation time since DH just took a new job. NCL does look like a good choice for us. I'm trying to avoid Carnival.

[Onessa]

. . . I guess I expected the 12yo's to still be gated up and not wandering the boat or hanging out with 17yo's. There's such a maturity gap between Tweens and Teens IMO.

. . .

 

I felt the same way even three months prior to our only-child DD's first cruise after "aging out of" the traditional kids' programs. She turned 12 late in September and we cruised in November. But by the time we boarded, I was feeling a bit better about it and when I visited the program for the 9-11YO I was convinced that she would NOT have a good time in the kids program and she went off to the first night mingle party at the teen club.

 

There were plenty of other younger girls there and she immediately "fell in" with a group of 12-13YOs -- two girls from PA, one from Brussels, one from London. They were joined a few days later by a 14YO from GA whose BFF traveling companion decided she wanted to hang with the older kids -- the 14YO was not comfortable with the 16 and 17YOs.

 

It is a tricky age and different kids mature at different rates. DD is 16YO now. She's had her driver's license since October but many of her classmates are just getting it now -- It is funny to think about last summer, teaching her how to drive and obsessing over all of it. But now she is quite accomplished and I cannot imagine it any other way! Each step on your child's development is major when it is happening so I worry and over plan, but generally things work out just fine. You know your kid and you will know what is right for her -- try to look at it objectively each step of the way.

[harris.margaret9]

I can understand why you are worried about your 12 year old girl; she should not feel awkward/ embarrass with 17 year olds, as parents it’s quite obvious that you thinking she should have as much fun as you will have, don’t worry they will take care of it.

[amrstack]

So after I got all worried and frazzled about the age group combinations and said I wanted to avoid Carnival like the plague I sat down and crunched the numbers for the Bermuda cruises we were looking at. Yeah. Sooooo NOT in our budget... :rolleyes:

 

Now we are looking at driving to Boston and taking the Carnival Glory for 4 days to Canada. Carnival has the Circle C 12-14 yo club which is perfect, and the cost for the 3rd and 4th person is around $300 which is tolerable. I think the girls will be ok for 4 days, and St. John's looks quite lovely, plus I just love Boston and would like to spend a couple days there as well.

 

I think my husband is glad I appear to be finished obsessing over this. :D

 

Thanks for all the great replies!

[crusinmama06]

We did that cruise (sort of) - we did the Triumph out of NYC but it went to to the same place :)

 

It was definitely a different kind of cruise - but the girls had a great time in Saint John. That was the cruise where we had whales off of our balcony!

 

And one morning I got up early to watch the sun rise - it was beautiful.