Funny Stories

[lcseale53]

For some reason this is my worse fear on a cruise. Ship sinking, being held hostage in Cozumel, ship running out of warm chocolate melting cake, etc. Yes I fear these things but not as much as the thought of getting the norovirus and being grounded to my room for part of the cruise. That is a scary story not a funny story; but you managed to make it funny! :D

 

Cruisingnewb,

 

As I understand it, this sort of thing is passed hand-to-mouth so simple hand washing and frequent sanitizing goes a long way toward avoiding a bruised forehead (probably don't want to chew on the handrails either). My wife and daughter fared perfectly well, but sanitized and washed as noted above. They also reminded me of that every time they climbed over me on their way out the door.

 

Since then I've carried the stuff with me every where I go.

 

MissRabbit,

 

I guess I'm glad they don't use porcelain - the infirmary was treating those with intestinal distress gratis, but stitches may have been a hard-sell.

 

Leon

[Donna n Francis]

It's time to move this to the top...I am really enjoying the funny stories, but not before I add one:D Not sure if it is gross or funny!

 

A couple of cruises ago my sister, my nephew and my grandson decided to go to the dining room for breakfast. As we sat there waiting for our breakfast we heard an awful sound like a cat with a fur ball at another table. Yes the sounds of someone throwing up. Older gentleman up-chucked all over his table...but get this he refused to leave the dining room even after security arrived. We couldn't believe it because he wanted to stay and eat his breakfast:eek::eek:. Needless to say this is the funny part both my grandson and nephew still talk about it today and hope to see him on their next Carnival cruise.

 

-Donna:D

[Room Service!]

It's time to move this to the top...I am really enjoying the funny stories, but not before I add one:D Not sure if it is gross or funny!

 

A couple of cruises ago my sister, my nephew and my grandson decided to go to the dining room for breakfast. As we sat there waiting for our breakfast we heard an awful sound like a cat with a fur ball at another table. Yes the sounds of someone throwing up. Older gentleman up-chucked all over his table...but get this he refused to leave the dining room even after security arrived. We couldn't believe it because he wanted to stay and eat his breakfast:eek::eek:. Needless to say this is the funny part both my grandson and nephew still talk about it today and hope to see him on their next Carnival cruise.

 

-Donna:D

 

I can tell you ... it's gross!

[SooZ1138]

I am going to warn everyone... this story can be taken of two ways:

Gross

-or-

...Incredibly Disgusting... (I guess it all depends on how squeamish you are)

But for some reason, I feel like this is the thread to share it.

On our last cruise on the Legend we were at the Atrium bar enjoying before dinner cocktails on the second elegant night. I excused myself to go to the ladies room and was disturbed to smell the very pungent smell of feces in the entryway to the restroom. Once I walked into the restroom though, the smell dissipated.

My significant other waited for me outside and when I walked out, commented on the same smell. We stood there for a second, trying to figure out where it was coming from. Suddenly, a woman dressed very nice for elegant night slips and falls on the ground...

Yep... you guessed it...

Someone either placed the feces in the hallway or didn't make it all the way into the bathroom and the poor girl slipped and fell in it. :eek:

I was so disturbed by the incident and felt really terrible for the woman (she sat there and sobbed for about 10 seconds before one of her girlfriends talked her into getting up and going to their room to shower and change). I can only imagine how I would have reacted if that was me (which it could have been since I walked right around it without realizing it).

Word of advice... look out for piles of poo while on your next cruise. You never know when it could happen to you! ;)

[Cruiser 4 Life 66]

We had our first cruise on the Pride in March, it was our honeymoon. My husband is a firefighter and I work in a financial institution, and I had gotten some cash for us to carry while on the cruise. While waiting in line to board the ship the drug dogs were going around, and I told my husband jokingly, "Oh look, what a pretty dog! I wish I could pet it!" I am an animal lover, and we have a dog of our own at home and I was already missing her. Well, the drug dog kept sniffing at my bag, and guess what? We got pulled into the US Customs office to be searched and questioned. It was so embarassing! They finally decided it was the money that had triggered the dog, and they were so nice about it, but it was mortifying to have to follow the drug dog and security past all the fellow passengers to the office.

To make it even more funny, when we got back to port from the cruise and were handing in our customs slips, the gentleman at the desk recognized us and made a joke about it. Ugh. I didn't think anyone would remember, I mean, how many faces do they see in a week?

 

90% of US money has cocaine on it. You can't put links here but just Google "what percentage of money has drugs on it" and you'll see the CNN link. There was a story recently where Wisconsin police confiscated $7500 a mother brought to the police station to bail out her son. They told her she had to bring CASH. No checks or credit cards. CASH only. They then said they tested the money and it had drugs on it. Yeah, 90% of money does! I think they have a nice little racket going there for money for police parties.

[crusnbee]

I have a funny story, but I am telling it third person, so I hope it doesn't get lost in translation. Last year on the Fantasy, my DH met a guy who at the time was banned from buying alcohol. He overindulged in Nassau and had to be put into a wheel chair and taken to his room. In order to have his alcohol rights restored, he had to write like 500 times that he would be a responsible drinker. The captain made him do this. I find that hysterical.

 

CJ

[LadyVolFan]

My 15 year old nephew came walking into our cabin late one night, refusing to look anyone in the eye. He sat on the couch, put his head in his hands and said, "You'll never guess what just happened!" About that time my husband's 17 year old son came bouncing in the cabin laughing.."Did he tell you what he just saw?" "Nooo, don't tell them!" "What happened?!?" That is when we found out about our nephew's first up close encounter with a drunken, topless college female in the elevator :eek:

[2PinaColadas]

On our first formal night aboard a cruise we were seated with a very arrogant man who talked all through dinner about his high paying job, his much younger girlfriend and how the "ladies love" him. No one else could get a word in. The next morning, we are in the ship's gym and in walks this man. The seas were rather rough that day and the ship was rocking. He is running on the treadmill, I am on the stair stepper behind him. The ship hits a rough spot and the guy falls off the treadmill, lands in the floor, sprawled out in a very strange position. He jumps up, looks around the room, and adjusts his clothes. Then he grabs his towel and room key off the treadmill and leaves. I know it may be wrong, but I laughed so hard--still do when I think about it. :D

[Banditswife]

I posted this a few years ago as a warning - but in retrospect it seems a bit more humorous, maybe, to some:

 

I’m sure most of you remember the virus that plagued the cruise industry a few years ago. We all watched the news, and saw distressed passengers debarking at various ports, many of them with their faces in bags, groaning in misery. Well, we were booked on the Sensation in the midst of this malady…but that’s okay, because I’m not getting this stuff. I figured these folks were bringing the virus on board with them, and besides, they probably weren’t that sick anyway…after all, the lines were giving free cruises in compensation. Not a bad deal.

 

Boarding went well, as did the ensuing lunch and evening formal dinner, but something was not quite right the next day. And that night was worse still. I knew the following morning I was in trouble, but I followed the rest of my party into Cozumel anyway, hoping against hope that I could suppress what I now knew was eminent; but it was not to be. Abandoning my family and friends, I hailed a cab in retreat to the ship.

 

The cab ride is still a blur. The lights dimmed and relit a number of times during the five minute ride back to the pier, and I vaguely remember handing the cabbie a fist full of cash (no clue as to how much) before falling out of the battered Toyota. I knew I only had minutes to make my way to the ship…it was coming fast. And I really didn’t want to expose the other tourists to the likes of what I new was now very near.

 

 

 

Back in the cabin, I reluctantly assumed the position. One I had, until now, been able to avoid for better than two and a half decades. I’ll spare you the details, but for the benefit of those of you who find yourself in the same position:

• The ships toilet is plastic, not porcelain, but it will bruise your forehead just the same.
  
• The little hose attaching the shower head to the wall will reach all the way to the far wall (just in case you need to wash anything down)
  
• The floor has a drain in the tile (just in case you need to wash anything down)
  
• The ships clinic can help (the shot works better than the pill)
  

Things I learned on that cruise:

• When your wife/spouse says use the hand sanitizer every hour – use it!
  
• Never make fun of sick people getting off a boat!
  
• Did I mention the hand sanitizer?
  
• You don’t get a free cruise unless two hundred people get sick.
  
• The Norwalk virus can incubate and take you to the mat in 12 hours.
  

Yes, cruising is still our passion – but I now use the hand sanitizer.

 

Regards,

 

Leon

The way you tell this is hilarious. I hope I never learn 1st hand what you learned on that cruise. Knock on deck. wood.

[kanitter]

Ok, I'm telling on myself here but at the time my group thought it was really funny. 2 years ago we were on the NCL Sun doing a transatlantic and got siderailed by hurricane Hugo. At the time we were hitting some pretty good swells, the type that keep 75% of the people in their cabins. ;) Our group was going though the buffet for lunch and as we were walking towards the table I was kind of bracing myself along the wall with my hand. Well just as we hit a really good sized swell I put my hand against what I thought was the wall but it was actually the door to the kitchen. A young girl opened it at the same time to come out. I completely lost my balance and did this charley chaplin dance on one foot to keep from falling and ended up almost nose to nose with the girl. All I could do is laugh, then she started laughing and so did my group. In the meantime the few people that were in there looked at all of us like we were nuts. So I learned my lesson. Make sure whatever you are leaning on can't move. :D