Funny Stories

[Honeybear]

on a cruise 4 years ago on the Spirit, my husband and I and our friends got balcony cabins side by side. we decided to have them open the balcony because we thought it would make one big balcony......WRONG. Our side had the wall in front of us and we couldn't see the ocean! So my Husband goes to the front desk and tells them "my wife is p*ssed over the balcony" Well, they came up there and steam cleaned our balcony because they thought I had p*ssed on it!!!!! :eek:

 

 

If we are voting, YOU have my vote for the funniest!!! But you owe your poor wife! :D

[SadieN]

The first time my husband and I sailed we thought it was so nice to be handed a big fancy drink when we arrived on deck. We were mesmerized by the huge ship and just wanted to keep walking. Neither of us could understand why they were asking for our room key. We learned our lesson after we paid $20 for 2 drinks we really didn't even want! LOL

 

At one time the sailaway drinks were free.

 

We went on a LA-Vancouver repo in 2003 on the HAL Amsterdam. There were only 188 pax onboard that sailing. It was wonderful and spooky at the same time. Anyways.....

 

We went to the aft deck to watch LA fade away and were given Champagne. Took one sip and placed it on the table. Must have taken a sip out of 5 different glasses. Everytime I put one down one waiter would whisk it away and another waiter would give me a fresh one. Took about a day and a half for management to rearrange the work schedule.

[Koval]

on a cruise 4 years ago on the Spirit, my husband and I and our friends got balcony cabins side by side. we decided to have them open the balcony because we thought it would make one big balcony......WRONG. Our side had the wall in front of us and we couldn't see the ocean! So my Husband goes to the front desk and tells them "my wife is p*ssed over the balcony" Well, they came up there and steam cleaned our balcony because they thought I had p*ssed on it!!!!! :eek:

Almost in tears here :D

 

If we are voting, YOU have my vote for the funniest!!! But you owe your poor wife! :D

Ditto that, you get my vote too.

But I think this is the "Wife" posting about it.

[Banditswife]

I don't have a very good one but: On the Legend last year hubby is trying to go out on deck & runs smack dab into a glass door- thought it was open. They must have just cleaned it. His looking around to see if anyone else saw him was hilarious.

[misstopgun]

on a cruise 4 years ago on the Spirit, my husband and I and our friends got balcony cabins side by side. we decided to have them open the balcony because we thought it would make one big balcony......WRONG. Our side had the wall in front of us and we couldn't see the ocean! So my Husband goes to the front desk and tells them "my wife is p*ssed over the balcony" Well, they came up there and steam cleaned our balcony because they thought I had p*ssed on it!!!!! :eek:

So far this one takes the prize! LOL

[kcdancerkc]

We did the chefs table. When we finally had a course or two....a magician came to my end of the long table of couples.

Hubby was across from me.

 

We'll pretend here that my name is Jane......

 

 

 

Magician: What is your name before I do this trick?

 

Jane: LOL Jane

 

 

Magician: Looking me up and down - Staring at my "girls" - Oh Jane you have such nice ......eyes.....

 

He must have looked at "them" very obviously many times with these harmless but edgy

comments in a 8 min. card trick.

I had put on a lower cut dress on

that I didn't realize was THAT low cut.

 

It took me TWO full min into this to realize what he was doing because I was already embarrased to be the first one picked on! I don't embarass easily till now apparently!

 

I was mortified and red faced the whole time! I didn't realize why everyone was laughing before the trick was done.

 

Embarassed the hell out of "Jane" ! :o:eek::o

[AnitaVacation]

My DH and I took a cruise out of Philly once....and there was a rather large group of young people (special people....super delightful and very nice)....they were quite chatty and friendly....this one young woman, was very friendly and chatted with us every chance she saw us....

 

One morning (1st or 2nd morning)...we were seated in the dining room for breakfast and this young woman was seated at the table next to us with one of the chaperones....she didn't waste anytime to say Good Morning....and start with her usual chatter.....but it was soooo funny....when she asked us....

 

'How long are you here for?' ..... :D

 

The morning of debarkment, she came over and sat with us by the window to say goodbye and wished us well.....she was so sweet....

[cruisingnewb]

I don't have a very good one but: On the Legend last year hubby is trying to go out on deck & runs smack dab into a glass door- thought it was open. They must have just cleaned it. His looking around to see if anyone else saw him was hilarious.

 

Haha! This almost happened to me a couple of times. I would see my reflection and stop just short of running face first into the glass. My sudden jerking would grab others attention so I just walked out the door and said, as in an after thought, that Carnival really believes that cleanliness is next to godliness.

[Gailerina]

I just got off the Pride this morning and a funny (and sort of creepy) story from our cruise was that my daughter and I took a wrong turn off the elevator on our last day of the cruise. We ended up going down the wrong hallway. Out of nowhere a steward appeared (not our steward, but one of the others) and said ... " NO NO you two go wrong way...your room 6220 on other side". Keep in mind we had never seen this guy before, yet he knew where our room was.

 

I can't remember if this is true or not but is the room number on you sign and sail?

 

That or he has assisted your steward before.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

[Gailerina]

There was 3 of us in the room. My friend chosen the bed that was the sofa. One morning we hear a loud bang and we turn over and there is my friend rubbing her head. She hit the lamp. After we determine she was ok we laughed....now it's funny because she ended up hitting the lamp at least a dozen times during the cruise. As well as the small table.

 

The weird part is no one ever touched anything except her. She just kept forgetting she moved it :)

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

[Rockee4055]

We cruise with our parents one year, well many time but this one in particular. All my Mom talked about for 3 months was getting one of those steak sandwiches on the lido deck. The first day after leaving port she went up to the lido deck, book in hand and mouth watering for this scrumptious meal. I think she sat there for 2 hours right next to the grill. When the noon dinner bell rang up she went, drooling in anticipation of what she was about to eat. She got this great steak sandwich with fries. She turned to walk back to her seat and staring at this the entire time. She managed to walked right into a pole! WHACK! The sandwich flew up in the air then hit the floor with those fries raining down on top of it. Nobody was hurt in the writing of this post but we sure did have one heck of a laugh about for many, many months after. The look on her face when it happened was priceless, like a kid who just lost their ice cream cone! Then she had to stand in a line of about 30 people who had just gathered. :rolleyes:

[2Okies]

My daughter (then, age 15) and I took our very first cruise together on the Ecstasy in '06. All she had talked about before we took the cruise, is that she wanted one of those drinks w/the little umbrella in it! (non alcoholic of course!) I think she saw one in the brochure or something.

Anyway, OF COURSE, when we got on the boat, the DOD was one of those kind of drinks, and we were asked if we wanted one. Of course, she did! I considered that it could be alcoholic, but I wasn't sure - and I didn't know it cost extra either! :rolleyes: I mean, at that time, I thought everything on the ship was already paid for! (Before my Cruise Critic days!)

Anyway, I got us one, but I tasted it first - to make sure it was okay for her. To me it just tasted like a fruity drink, and I didn't taste anything "strong", so we SHARED it! Lol! (I'm NOT a drinker, and I think I would have noticed the alcohol, BUT it could have all been at the bottom of the drink at that time - I don't know.) However, I admit, she ended up drinking most of it, because she's the one who had wanted it so bad. We even took pictures of her w/her "umbrella" drink! Later, when we were sitting on the Lido eating lunch, and we had the empty (yep - she drained it!) DOD glass sitting there, and a waiter asked if we wanted a refill. I asked him exactly WHAT was in it? That's when he named off about every kind of liquor you can imagine! Lol! I really had no idea! So, my daughter's first alcoholic drink was when she was 15! I had no idea, and felt pretty bad about it. Luckily, it didn't seem to phase her! We've laughed about it since then.

 

I certainly learned my lesson that DOD's DO cost, and they are acoholic drinks! Later that week, she wanted the drink that was in the coconut head too (carved to look like a monkey) and I bought her that one but was sure to ask for the non-alcoholic version that time! Which, was just a strawberry slush! She still has that monkey head to this day, that she uses for her piggy bank. It's traveled to college & back w/her! Good memories!

 

Oh, and that was the cruise where she also accidentally went topless! Gotta watch the end of those slides girls - especially when you have on a two-piece! She got out of the pool, and started walking towards me. Her top was on, but not quite covering the important parts - and she had no idea! Poor child. I frantically got her attention and she got straightened out. Whew!

 

So, on that cruise she got her first drink AND went topless! All by accident! What a cruise for a 15 year old! We look back and laugh about it all now. Lots of fun.

[mojean]

We cruise with our parents one year, well many time but this one in particular. All my Mom talked about for 3 months was getting one of those steak sandwiches on the lido deck. The first day after leaving port she went up to the lido deck, book in hand and mouth watering for this scrumptious meal. I think she sat there for 2 hours right next to the grill. When the noon dinner bell rang up she went, drooling in anticipation of what she was about to eat. She got this great steak sandwich with fries. She turned to walk back to her seat and staring at this the entire time. She managed to walked right into a pole! WHACK! The sandwich flew up in the air then hit the floor with those fries raining down on top of it. Nobody was hurt in the writing of this post but we sure did have one heck of a laugh about for many, many months after. The look on her face when it happened was priceless, like a kid who just lost their ice cream cone! Then she had to stand in a line of about 30 people who had just gathered. :rolleyes:

 

This one has my vote !!! The tears came before I knowed it!!

[PAPERBKWRITER]

I can't remember if this is true or not but is the room number on you sign and sail?

 

That or he has assisted your steward before.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

 

No room #'s on SS for security purposes.

[lcseale53]

I posted this a few years ago as a warning - but in retrospect it seems a bit more humorous, maybe, to some:

 

I’m sure most of you remember the virus that plagued the cruise industry a few years ago. We all watched the news, and saw distressed passengers debarking at various ports, many of them with their faces in bags, groaning in misery. Well, we were booked on the Sensation in the midst of this malady…but that’s okay, because I’m not getting this stuff. I figured these folks were bringing the virus on board with them, and besides, they probably weren’t that sick anyway…after all, the lines were giving free cruises in compensation. Not a bad deal.

 

Boarding went well, as did the ensuing lunch and evening formal dinner, but something was not quite right the next day. And that night was worse still. I knew the following morning I was in trouble, but I followed the rest of my party into Cozumel anyway, hoping against hope that I could suppress what I now knew was eminent; but it was not to be. Abandoning my family and friends, I hailed a cab in retreat to the ship.

 

The cab ride is still a blur. The lights dimmed and relit a number of times during the five minute ride back to the pier, and I vaguely remember handing the cabbie a fist full of cash (no clue as to how much) before falling out of the battered Toyota. I knew I only had minutes to make my way to the ship…it was coming fast. And I really didn’t want to expose the other tourists to the likes of what I new was now very near.

 

 

Back in the cabin, I reluctantly assumed the position. One I had, until now, been able to avoid for better than two and a half decades. I’ll spare you the details, but for the benefit of those of you who find yourself in the same position:

• The ships toilet is plastic, not porcelain, but it will bruise your forehead just the same.
  
• The little hose attaching the shower head to the wall will reach all the way to the far wall (just in case you need to wash anything down)
  
• The floor has a drain in the tile (just in case you need to wash anything down)
  
• The ships clinic can help (the shot works better than the pill)
  

Things I learned on that cruise:

• When your wife/spouse says use the hand sanitizer every hour – use it!
  
• Never make fun of sick people getting off a boat!
  
• Did I mention the hand sanitizer?
  
• You don’t get a free cruise unless two hundred people get sick.
  
• The Norwalk virus can incubate and take you to the mat in 12 hours.
  

Yes, cruising is still our passion – but I now use the hand sanitizer.

 

Regards,

 

Leon

[Lovefuninthesun]

The norovirus story is a litle bit of a buzz kill!

[Lovefuninthesun]

I just got off the Pride this morning and a funny (and sort of creepy) story from our cruise was that my daughter and I took a wrong turn off the elevator on our last day of the cruise. We ended up going down the wrong hallway. Out of nowhere a steward appeared (not our steward, but one of the others) and said ... " NO NO you two go wrong way...your room 6220 on other side". Keep in mind we had never seen this guy before, yet he knew where our room was.

 

:eek:very creepy

[backdro69]

I can't remember if this is true or not but is the room number on you sign and sail?

 

That or he has assisted your steward before.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

He couldn't see our S&S cards (they were in our purse/pocket). Maybe he had assisted our steward, but we never laid eyes on him (or him on us).

[bobsfamily]

He couldn't see our S&S cards (they were in our purse/pocket). Maybe he had assisted our steward, but we never laid eyes on him (or him on us).

Nowadays all corridors have cameras, may have seen you walking to your room... still creepy!

[cruisingnewb]

For some reason this is my worse fear on a cruise. Ship sinking, being held hostage in Cozumel, ship running out of warm chocolate melting cake, etc. Yes I fear these things but not as much as the thought of getting the norovirus and being grounded to my room for part of the cruise. That is a scary story not a funny story; but you managed to make it funny! :D

 

I posted this a few years ago as a warning - but in retrospect it seems a bit more humorous, maybe, to some:

 

I’m sure most of you remember the virus that plagued the cruise industry a few years ago. We all watched the news, and saw distressed passengers debarking at various ports, many of them with their faces in bags, groaning in misery. Well, we were booked on the Sensation in the midst of this malady…but that’s okay, because I’m not getting this stuff. I figured these folks were bringing the virus on board with them, and besides, they probably weren’t that sick anyway…after all, the lines were giving free cruises in compensation. Not a bad deal.

 

Boarding went well, as did the ensuing lunch and evening formal dinner, but something was not quite right the next day. And that night was worse still. I knew the following morning I was in trouble, but I followed the rest of my party into Cozumel anyway, hoping against hope that I could suppress what I now knew was eminent; but it was not to be. Abandoning my family and friends, I hailed a cab in retreat to the ship.

 

The cab ride is still a blur. The lights dimmed and relit a number of times during the five minute ride back to the pier, and I vaguely remember handing the cabbie a fist full of cash (no clue as to how much) before falling out of the battered Toyota. I knew I only had minutes to make my way to the ship…it was coming fast. And I really didn’t want to expose the other tourists to the likes of what I new was now very near.

 

 

 

Back in the cabin, I reluctantly assumed the position. One I had, until now, been able to avoid for better than two and a half decades. I’ll spare you the details, but for the benefit of those of you who find yourself in the same position:

• The ships toilet is plastic, not porcelain, but it will bruise your forehead just the same.
  
• The little hose attaching the shower head to the wall will reach all the way to the far wall (just in case you need to wash anything down)
  
• The floor has a drain in the tile (just in case you need to wash anything down)
  
• The ships clinic can help (the shot works better than the pill)
  

Things I learned on that cruise:

• When your wife/spouse says use the hand sanitizer every hour – use it!
  
• Never make fun of sick people getting off a boat!
  
• Did I mention the hand sanitizer?
  
• You don’t get a free cruise unless two hundred people get sick.
  
• The Norwalk virus can incubate and take you to the mat in 12 hours.
  

Yes, cruising is still our passion – but I now use the hand sanitizer.

 

Regards,

 

Leon

[cruisinJenF]

on a cruise 4 years ago on the Spirit, my husband and I and our friends got balcony cabins side by side. we decided to have them open the balcony because we thought it would make one big balcony......WRONG. Our side had the wall in front of us and we couldn't see the ocean! So my Husband goes to the front desk and tells them "my wife is p*ssed over the balcony" Well, they came up there and steam cleaned our balcony because they thought I had p*ssed on it!!!!! :eek:

 

Hahahahhahahaha!!!!! This just made me ACTUALLY laugh out loud!!! Loved it!!! Thanks for sharing.

[swilden79]

i live in tucson, az and wear sandals all year round. I wear my clunky aravon katy sandals everywhere. I've always had a dressy pair of sandals for formal nights (read uncomfortable). On my last cruise, i decided i was way too old to put up with uncomfortable shoes, even for a formal night. I found a very dressy shoe clip and clipped it on to my sandals. Lol i'm never wearing uncomfortable shoes again. Lol

pamela

(tucson, az)

 

bear down!!!!!!

[grandmacani]

being the kind of person that really never wins at bingo, i'm a diehard. I still play. On our last cruise back from Hawaii DH and I were in the area and we heard that Bingo was starting. We took our places and then I asked DH if he would go get the cards. He walked to the outer edge of the auditorium and as he approached the aisle a lady was coming down. He could've stepped out into the aisle with enough time that wouldn't have been impolite but, he waited for her to pass ahead of him. She purchased One card, he then went after her purchased one card. Low and Behold a bingo shout out for the $1000.00 prize and you know who it was. The lady he so graciously let go in front. I know that even if he bought the card she bought things may have been called different but.........

[MissRabbit]

 

 

• The ships toilet is plastic, not porcelain, but it will bruise your forehead just the same.
  

 

ROFLMAO! I dunno why but that just got me giggling! Oh the visual! :D

[higgib]

being the kind of person that really never wins at bingo, i'm a diehard. I still play. On our last cruise back from Hawaii DH and I were in the area and we heard that Bingo was starting. We took our places and then I asked DH if he would go get the cards. He walked to the outer edge of the auditorium and as he approached the aisle a lady was coming down. He could've stepped out into the aisle with enough time that wouldn't have been impolite but, he waited for her to pass ahead of him. She purchased One card, he then went after her purchased one card. Low and Behold a bingo shout out for the $1000.00 prize and you know who it was. The lady he so graciously let go in front. I know that even if he bought the card she bought things may have been called different but.........

 

 

A British man won £148 million in the lottery last week (about $222 million!!!) CCTV of him buying his ticket shows another man in the shop letting him go ahead of him to the counter. Both men bought 'lucky dip' tickets!!! OMG!!!:eek: