.......idle jottings

[ho-hum]

So, "Keeping up with the Kardashians, SeaDream Edition"?

 

Oh no popper, more Downton Abbey on sea, dont ya know old chum.

Sorry to disappoint yer.

[ho-hum]

Thanks for your confidence in our business and design acumen.

 

We have engaged the law firm of Beatem, Kickem, and Schwartz to

prepare the requisite contracts for our services that will be forwarded

forthwith. If you would be kind enough to send along a retainer

in the amount of $150K, we stand ready to assist in PR to hype your

appearance and assure you are both "turned out" in attire

best reflecting on your increasing corpulence and Blondies ravishing

beauty.

 

We are already negotiating with executives from CBC to purchase

the broadcast rights for showing here, following the show's premier

in the "Posh Parts". Good luck and go easy on the make-up!

 

So, a not so subtle swop from blackmail to extortion then !

Be gone with you !

Publish and be damned !

"Increasing corpulence" indeed.

A case of "Pot calling kettle black" and no mistakin' eh "Slim" !

[popper]

Oh no popper, more Downton Abbey on sea, dont ya know old chum.

Sorry to disappoint yer.

 

Ooooh-errrrr that IS posh!

Good thing they didn't film our November voyage, the table top dancing witnessed at TOY on disco night wouldn't quite support the Downton theme!!!

A very different class on that trip, obviously...

[ho-hum]

Ooooh-errrrr that IS posh!

Good thing they didn't film our November voyage, the table top dancing witnessed at TOY on disco night wouldn't quite support the Downton theme!!!

A very different class on that trip, obviously...

 

Haha !!

 

Film crew and SD PR lady just arrived !

[COCOYOTE]

Hopefully Ho Hum, you have negotiated the US rights for your show to appear on BBC America. If not, may I suggest the law firm of Dowe, Cheatum and Howe. Hope you make sure the lighting catches the glint in your eyes.

[abenaki]

....and his flaxen locks, don't forget his flaxen locks......

[abenaki]

....and remember darling, keep your head tilted slightly to the back, stretching the skin just enough,,,,. The camera can be so cruel to an aging star.....

[COCOYOTE]

....and his flaxen locks, don't forget his flaxen locks......

 

How could one forget. :D

[COCOYOTE]

....and remember darling, keep your head tilted slightly to the back, stretching the skin just enough,,,,. The camera can be so cruel to an aging star.....

 

Two words: Sunset Boulevard

[abenaki]

Do you suppose that we will all be invited to the premiere, no doubt in one of the larger cinemas in Leicester Square? How thrilling to have known him when he was "just one of us"

[ho-hum]

Hopefully Ho Hum, you have negotiated the US rights for your show to appear on BBC America. If not, may I suggest the law firm of Dowe, Cheatum and Howe. Hope you make sure the lighting catches the glint in your eyes.

 

....and his flaxen locks, don't forget his flaxen locks......

 

....and remember darling, keep your head tilted slightly to the back, stretching the skin just enough,,,,. The camera can be so cruel to an aging star.....

 

How could one forget. :D

 

Two words: Sunset Boulevard

 

You're all in rare fine form tonight boyos !

Haha

Hysterical.

Love it.

 

Gotta go, Vanderfalk is "muscling in" with the film producer at TOYB wearing some beautiful jewellery: she has him penned in the corner for near on an hour saying how she is more eminently qualified for the documentary.

The dark horse is no more.

Zimmy was out in the day buying some very seductive outfits.

Blondie has big competition.

 

And our Belgian chums who insisted they were not filmed bumped into the film crew as they alighted the tender for a meal at Eden Rock demanding that they film them !!

 

Suddenly at dinner tonight, Hum and Blondie had 5 waiters buzzing round plus Frank the sommelier all clamouring for shots of them......other diners were slowly starving and dry from thirst !!!

 

Jim, Zimmy, Vanderfalk plus better halves all had dinner with Captain Lund.

He asked how they all knew one another.

There was a collective spewing of soup around the table !

Did anyone "snitch" ?

Gotta find out the reply.

Hayden the Club Director is on to us...........he's gotta die !!!!

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Ah yes, ho-hum's flaxen hair and steely blue eyes, and his li'l buddy Jim:

 

Edited January 6, 2016 by Ragnar Danneskjold

[vandrefalk]

OK -- need to defend myself! I did not corner said BBC producer -- we just had a nice, albeit lengthy, conversation about the virtues of SD. No offers of stardom were offered or accepted in this production and no guests or film people were harmed.

 

Must admit there was a collective gasp as the Captain asked how we knew each other -- we gave him an expergated version and he didn't seem to be too panicked, so I guess we are still somewhat safe.

 

Must say HH did a masterful job of pinching the Owner's Suite -- some of us were fooled -- but probably not Gantt, Zimmy, and Jim -- which would leave only me and possibly one or two others. Well done HH!

 

So on to the next adventure!

Vandrefalk

[ho-hum]

OK -- need to defend myself! I did not corner said BBC producer -- we just had a nice, albeit lengthy, conversation about the virtues of SD. No offers of stardom were offered or accepted in this production and no guests or film people were harmed.

Vandrefalk

 

In the case of Ho Hum v Vanderfalk, we the jury find in favour of the Plaintiff, Ho Hum, your honour.

 

Vandrefalk you have been found guilty of "being a naughty little minx".

Defence council, do you wish to submit mitigating arguments.

 

No your honour, it is a "fair cop" m'lord.

We did'nt really want to take the case if truth be told.

 

Vandrefalk, you wished to usurp Blondie in an important TV documentary. I have heard from social services and It is clear that this is not your first attempt at entering TV shows. I have deliberated on a suitable punishment.

You shall be taken from here to serve as the fifth cousin of "Little Boo" on the Jerry Springer show for no less than 5 episodes to be served concurrently.

Take her down, custody sergeant.

 

But your honour !!!

[ho-hum]

Ah yes, ho-hum's flaxen hair and steely blue eyes, and his li'l buddy Jim:

 

 

....he ain't li'l Sundance !

 

You had one other thing to do......submit a photo along with your post and all we have is an empty box !!

 

Try again.

[ho-hum]

Thanks for your confidence in our business and design acumen.

 

We have engaged the law firm of Beatem, Kickem, and Schwartz to

prepare the requisite contracts for our services that will be forwarded

forthwith. If you would be kind enough to send along a retainer

in the amount of $150K, we stand ready to assist in PR to hype your

appearance and assure you are both "turned out" in attire

best reflecting on your increasing corpulence and Blondies ravishing

beauty.

 

We are already negotiating with executives from CBC to purchase

the broadcast rights for showing here, following the show's premier

in the "Posh Parts". Good luck and go easy on the make-up!

 

So, a not so subtle swop from blackmail to extortion then !

Be gone with you !

Publish and be damned !

"Increasing corpulence" indeed.

A case of "Pot calling kettle black" and no mistakin' eh "Slim" !

[ho-hum]

So last night the film crew arrived and Hum greeted them off the tender from where they were filming !!!

Up the steps and onto deck, met by HM, MD, champagne etc.. and they began interviewing straight away.

They enter main lobby to check in and continue filming though HM is completely un-aware of this !

Amateur !

And then they go round pool deck filming.

What ! No permission for this was given. To be fair the rules are very rigid. Signed permission actually has to be given. We are advised that they were "sweep shots".

OK but be careful.

 

An announcement of filming is made at Club Member's Party.

 

We have a meal with director, cameraman and London based PR company lady to go over bits and pieces and then just have a jolly good gossip. The PR lady is particularly interesting but getting any details out of her is jolly hard. She is taking client confidentiality way too far.......eventually she loosens up and tells us that Pam Conover says hello (Pam Conover used to be CEO of SD, briefly. She is now CEO of "The World" and the PR firm employed by SD also are employed by "The World"...small world ehhh ? Hum loves Pam. Pam has invited us onboard......wow !).

 

Today we are to be filmed with Blondie leaving her cabin for breakfast meeting up with Hum.

Then we all troll off to St.Barts for a staged look around a clothes shop called Mascara where Kristine the French owner is ready to greet Blondie in an "un-expected" encounter. A dress is purchased (a dress purchased from Mascara two weeks ago in fact).

We saunter nonchalantly along the streets in the style of celebrities.

 

But this film director is useless, actually.

Hum has worked with some of the greats .... Quarantino, Woody Allen, Hitchcock

But Hum keeps asking the director.

 

"What is Hum's character ?"

"What is Hum's motivation ?"

 

You are a tourist on holiday.

 

Surrounded by amateurs, the lot of 'em.

 

And make up is no assistance either. Twice the toupee nearly flew off !

Mindful of the Commander's reference to Hum's "increasing corpulence" (on first take, it sounds so flattering) only above waist shots are permitted. The cameraman says that works for him as he has left his wide angle lens behind !

Cheeky boy !

 

The director has reproached Hum on a number of occasions, enquiring why Hum has his head fully tilted back ?

To avoid showing the chins.....as Abenaki advised, Hum replies.

Well it looks very odd indeed he advises. Yes Hum sees the playback for himself.

Turtle neck pullover is suggested.

It covers most of the chins !

[abenaki]

Good heavens, I am dealing with a rank amateur......

 

I said to tilt the head SLIGHTLY back. Too far back and it will be a close up of your nostrils, never a good thing in Cinemascope.

And remember to have someone powder your forehead as the afternoon wears on, otherwise the Caribbean sunshine will be bouncing off you like a beacon.

 

Anyway, all of this good advice wasted....you HAVE heard of the cutting room floor, I presume. The outtakes reel should be a good fun however.

[COCOYOTE]

Good heavens, I am dealing with a rank amateur......

 

I said to tilt the head SLIGHTLY back. Too far back and it will be a close up of your nostrils, never a good thing in Cinemascope.

And remember to have someone powder your forehead as the afternoon wears on, otherwise the Caribbean sunshine will be bouncing off you like a beacon.

 

Anyway, all of this good advice wasted....you HAVE heard of the cutting room floor, I presume. The outtakes reel should be a good fun however.

 

Abenaki,the only way to resolve this intolerable situation is for BBC and Ho Hum to fly you down there touts-de-suite and put this film crew in place. God forbid we have to look at a program with views up Ho Hum's nostrils with his forehead looking like a shining star.

[abenaki]

Dear Ho

 

Urgent Crushing News:

 

Actors Equity Rulebook 2461-4 2.1 Paragraph 4

"It is expressly forbidden for talent to be given alcoholic spirits during filming of a theatrical release."

 

I have just sent this information on to Oslo, to be transmitted to Frank. A nice fresh Ginger Ale in a champagne glass for evening cocktails for you. Paragraph 5 oddly provides an exemption for Leading Ladies however, so Blondie should be fine with her champagne. Terribly sorry for this, but a rule is a rule is a rule.

[ctbjr1309]

So, when does Robin Leach arrive on the scene? Or is that role being handled by h-h?

[abenaki]

Abenaki,the only way to resolve this intolerable situation is for BBC and Ho Hum to fly you down there touts-de-suite and put this film crew in place. God forbid we have to look at a program with views up Ho Hum's nostrils with his forehead looking like a shining star.

 

You know you are right Cocoyote. I didn't sleep a wink last night, fearing he might appear in his draw-string hippie trousers this morning for filming, a leftover from Woodstock, I believe. And the grease spots that appear with great regularity on his shirts, who is looking out for those I wonder?

[vandrefalk]

I was framed? Harsh sentence!

Incarcerated Vandrefalk

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

....he ain't li'l Sundance !

 

You had one other thing to do......submit a photo along with your post and all we have is an empty box !!

 

Try again.

 

 

Dearest ho-hum, your world wide legion of admirers (at least those with technology from the 21st century), saw a large, high resolution screen grab shot from the BBC dailys. A thumbnail of said screen grab below. At least now your admirers can put a face with your name....

[piratelooksat45]

So last night the film crew arrived and Hum greeted them off the tender from where they were filming !!!

Up the steps and onto deck, met by HM, MD, champagne etc.. and they began interviewing straight away.

They enter main lobby to check in and continue filming though HM is completely un-aware of this !

Amateur !

And then they go round pool deck filming.

What ! No permission for this was given. To be fair the rules are very rigid. Signed permission actually has to be given. We are advised that they were "sweep shots".

OK but be careful.

 

An announcement of filming is made at Club Member's Party.

 

I'll admit I find the film intriguing and would love to see the final take. But if I was on the sailing and didn't know about this in advance, I would be really annoyed. It would seem like the announcement should have been made to guests before the sailing not at the Club Member's Party.