.......idle jottings

[frequent traveler]

If only you and Philip were boarding as well.🎉🍸🍷😎

 

If only. . . But somehow a 3hr. conference call on Tuesday and another on Thursday just kinda ruins the whole SD experience . . . Limits the mimosas at breakfast 😉

[piratelooksat45]

Can anyone else imagine Ho-Hum and Jim meeting today. I can see a nice welcome hug, they then head up to the toy bar for a cocktail without uttering a word. Take a seat at the "office", pull out their phones and start "talking" back and forth through cruise critic. Oh, to be a fly on the wall ;)

[ho-hum]

Can anyone else imagine Ho-Hum and Jim meeting today. I can see a nice welcome hug, they then head up to the toy bar for a cocktail without uttering a word. Take a seat at the "office", pull out their phones and start "talking" back and forth through cruise critic. Oh, to be a fly on the wall ;)

 

Haha......well Hum's "all revved up" !

But Hum will let the ol man to settle in first......guests are boarding now but Hum has been in the bar at the "Il Convento" getting to know ctbjr1309's new favourite beer "Presidente".

It took Hum six of the "critters" to get 'em but ctbjr1309 is "definitely on to someting'".

Nap now.

Until "sail away" Jimmy !

[Poppy1966]

The answer to that is a.......... NO

 

But Hum invited Roman onto his yacht (SDII) !

 

....hahaha .and I bet Roman would've preferred to have had a great time on SD with HH, passengers and crew etc rather than spending it with the 2-300 so called fake celebs shipped in and onto his own 'yacht'!!! Anyway enjoy the rest of your trip. Trying to get a week away in January and then a weekend in Vienna to meet my Tasmanian friend in feb. Back to googling trips for me. Cheers xx:)

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Jim, did you notice Star Legend two piers down? We'll be on her in two months.

 

And mind your manners while aboard SDII.

[ho-hum]

Dora the Spa Manager on SDII has left SDII and will not be renewing her contract: a delightful South African lady has replaced her whom Hum is eager to get to know.

 

In an exclusive "interview" with Dora over coffee (for her) one morning last week she said she will be returning to her home in Switzerland and take a fortnight off for much needed rest. She says she is eager to open her own Spa Salon one day.

 

She leaves behind a strong and happy group of Thai, Spa ladies.

 

We wish Dora the very best.

[Jim Avery]

Jim, did you notice Star Legend two piers down? We'll be on her in two months.

 

And mind your manners while aboard SDII.

Legend looks good. No listing. And no worries about manners, I won't do anything Hum disapproves.🎉🍺🍺😵

[ho-hum]

Posted by a good chum which Hum would like to pass on.

 

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

 

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used that repairman since...

 

I live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEAR CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many dears are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

 

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

 

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

 

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a government employee.....

 

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a

service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'

His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

 

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....

You now have 2 options...

Delete it…..

or

Send it along to put a smile on someone's face today!.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Edited January 3, 2016 by ho-hum

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Legend looks good. No listing. And no worries about manners, I won't do anything Hum disapproves.🎉🍺🍺😵

 

Poor Pride is at anchor just outside the Pacific end of the Panama canal. Been there a few days.

 

How long can it take to get a canal passage if an advance appointment hasn't been made? There are a lot of other ships anchored near Pride.

[Jim Avery]

Poor Pride is at anchor just outside the Pacific end of the Panama canal. Been there a few days.

 

How long can it take to get a canal passage if an advance appointment hasn't been made? There are a lot of other ships anchored near Pride.

 

It is more than that. Damaged ships have lots of "hoops" to jump through. Last thing they want is the possibility of a ship sinking in the canal. Blondie & Ho-Hum are taking spectacular care of us. Wish you were here.🍺🎉😎

[vandrefalk]

Hum, we're obviously not entertaining you enough -- too much time on your hands!

Vandrefalk

[Jim Avery]

Hum, we're obviously not entertaining you enough -- too much time on your hands!

Vandrefalk

Sssssshhhhhhh. Don't disturb His Eminence's nap.😱🍷☀️

[ho-hum]

Hum, we're obviously not entertaining you enough -- too much time on your hands!

Vandrefalk

 

Sssssshhhhhhh. Don't disturb His Eminence's nap.😱🍷☀️

 

The plain truth is........Hum is stunned !

 

Stunned meeting Lady V (Vanderfalk), Zimmy and........."The Legend" himself (with whom he is dining with tonight !!).

Hum is in awe of these people and their fabulous other halves.......

Tis true Hum is "keepin' his head down".....dont wanna be found out for the fraud and charlatan he truly is when compared with these truly charming wonderful people whom Hum adores.

 

Hum has been used to travelling with ordinary mortals (very ordinary mortals !) like Commander Courageous and Abenaki but this august company is something else.

 

And there is Ganttc too here......such a wonderful guy.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

It is more than that. Damaged ships have lots of "hoops" to jump through. Last thing they want is the possibility of a ship sinking in the canal. Blondie & Ho-Hum are taking spectacular care of us. Wish you were here.

 

Pride has not updated her AIS position data in 21 hours.... Does that mean anything? She doesn't show up in the plot either. The other ships that were anchored around her are updating their position regularly.

Edited January 3, 2016 by Ragnar Danneskjold

[zqvol]

SDII looked nice riding at anchor across Pillsbury Sound from our hotel today, alas just couldn't motive ourselves to ride the ferry to St. John for a visit.

[commander courageous]

Such insults, from one who continues to prove so inadequate.

 

The drivel has now reached unconquerable heights, laced with

snide asides aimed at one who, as Hum well knows, has been

exceedingly gracious in withholding information that could

severely damage an already fleeting reputation. That is about to

change!

 

By my count, you have provided four of the six "stunning" announcements

promised. Yes, we are keeping track! If it were not for the stunning

Blondie, your fate would have been sealed long ago ... but i

digress.

 

An immediate apology mixed with a similar amount of grovelling

is expected by Fedex.

[COCOYOTE]

Must remember Ho Hum's post in the future. Such interesting wording. We consider ourselves in wonderful company, Commander.

Edited January 4, 2016 by COCOYOTE

[ho-hum]

Must remember Ho Hum's post in the future. Such interesting wording. We consider ourselves in wonderful company, Commander.

 

Haha Commander........thwarted yet again !

Shameful "outing" threat too of a confidence.

What levels of depravity you have fallen to.

 

Thankyou dearest COCOYOTE for such elegant kindness.

[ho-hum]

Sadly Peter John, the South African, Club Director has left the company.

He is an amazing character and so kind.

Hum wishes him well in the future.

[popper]

That's a shame! We had a great time with Peter on our Nov voyage this year

[ho-hum]

That's a shame! We had a great time with Peter on our Nov voyage this year

 

Many felt the same as you popper......Hum and Blondie adored him too.

Oh well...ho hum.

[ho-hum]

And so we were picked up at our hotel for a trip to the port by taxi bus in which 8/9 subdued passengers and their luggage were packed.

On entering the taxi, Hum was assailed by an extremely LOUD radio broadcast by a really fired up, hell and damnation rant by a crazed Evangelical.

THe content of her rant was very disturbing and was delivered in a feverish manner, relishing the awful consequences for those that had transgressed this petty God's "suggestion list" for an after life in Heaven Villas or some such bland and joyless supposed "idyll" for ever and ever like some ghastly "time share" !

 

Hum tells the driver to "turn that off, please " !

 

The sullen and morose, morbidly obese driver, slowly turns his fat neck and looks round to Hum.

Hum musters a most resolute look of defiance.

In a "ye shall not pass" appearance.

It is turned off.

The bus passengers are strangely silent.

Awkwaaaaaaarrrrrdddddd !

 

On arrival at port, Hum gives the driver the exact fare.

 

"A tip ?" He enquires.

 

Yes, never, ever subject people to that diatribe of hatefulness and clap-trap ever again to people who are employing YOU !

Capiche ?

Oh righteous Hum ........ Worse than any God on his day !

Just need to work on the "smiting" technique for that pesky Commander.

[ho-hum]

So last night whilst the real guests in the Owners Suite were having a couples massage in the Spa, Hum and Blondie sneaked in and arranged a soiree prior to cocktails for the great and good on Cruise Critic (Vanderfalk, Zimmy & Jim Avery with their illustrious spouses) and a few celebrity couples.

We had 'em in and out pronto and no one suspected a thing.

We rustled up some canapés from previous evenings cocktails and nicked a couple of bottles of chamapgne. We dropped a few quid to a few of the crew to serve food and wine and voila we had ourselves a half decent presentation on a "Ferrero Rocher" theme (diplomat party scene. Do you get that in the States ?).

We fooled the lot of 'em.

 

So why are you ingratiating yourself to Cruise Critic royalty Hum ?

 

Well we had an announcement to make........a big 'un and we wanted them all liquored up so they would be more friendly like. Of course there was no "pulling the wool over" Vanderfalk and Zimmy's "eyes": the others were "putty" in Hum's capable hands but these two are smart.......Hum expects trouble from them !

 

Oh, so the announcement.

An embarrassing opening line un-explicably began from Hum's gob welcoming people to the inaugural meeting of the American "swingers" and European "swingers" saying that whilst the European members were small (in number !) we made up for it by our vigour.

Yes the reception to this appalling opening line was received frostily.

Hum quickly moved on to the actual purpose of the assembly apart from enjoying ourselves and charging $ 25 each for the soiree was to state that "it was all Blondie's fault". And mostly it actually was as it happened.

 

And so the story began.

 

She had had some minor issues with her replacement personally designated travel advisor and wished her replaced. You didn't know ! She can be ruthless.

We had had great service from the previous lady but she had left to have a baby. Yes inconsiderate wasn't it, people these days ehhh !!

Well the travel company suggested another lady and also suggested she meet up with the new lady in London. So she met new lady TA, boss of new lady TA and another lady (American). Lashings of champagne were poured down throats and the American lady was introduced. It turns out she is a film maker and she had been commissioned by the BBC for a documentary featuring the posh travel agency and three couples of schmucks that arrange their escapes through them. They Had selected Blondie as prime material to feature in the documentary.

 

Well to cut a long story short. Tomorrow a film crew arrive onboard for filming.

And we wanted our dearest SD chums and forum posters to know in advance. As simple as that. Captain Lund also attended the soiree for support and credibility.

 

We assured chums that their privacy is important and we hoped the filming would not be intrusive and would not feature them if they preferred. That's it really. We hope our chums will give us valued feedback and more importantly, will still speak to us.

 

The film makers have worked for the BBC (BBC2 to be more accurate: extremely "high brow". They run all the "Jerry Springer" shows.........kiddin') on a number of class documentaries: Aspreys (Royal appointed jewellers), Virgin Atlantic, Richard Branson and Nekker Island and "Death Row" prison in the US using a famous TV news anchor. So the pedigree is good, very good.

 

And the emphasis we wish to demonstrate is the service and quality of the SD crew.

That is why we travel on SD.

We do not give loyalty to the company per se but we do have respect and admiration for the CREW.

And the assembled could all relate to that.

Something about the crew sets the ambience and this is often followed up by encountering soffistikatted fellow passengers (yes Hum knows it's spelled rong, he was tyin to be funy....no, so be it).

 

The film is played in two one hour episodes and features three couples in total.

The other "schmucks" are being filmed in Sandy Lane villas (not mere hotel rooms) in Barbados and the posh (and hugely expensive resort) North Island in the Seychelles. One of the couples staying at Sandy Lane is a famous English architect whom we met for dinner at Mossimans, the private dining club in London. Hum told you about it. No ? Oh very "swanky". Lanson champagne served. Oh you remember it now !

 

The North Island couple were far too posh to attend the dinner.

 

It's true we still have a few mis-givings.

What do we get out of it ?

Well we aint being paid !

No tis true.

However Hum was requested by the BBC to film his own pieces on a camcorder and has been doing so for a few weeks. Hum has collected quite a few hours of filming which he intends to use to blackmail various persons with for financial gain and perks onboard !

 

Hum has appointed Commander Courageous as our business manager and Abenaki as our stylist. They too have been blackmailing Hum when we foolishly confided in them of the BBC plans. And in recent pists they can be "seen" threatening to "out us". They have negotiated themselves a pretty good deal.

 

But to be serious for a moment. The documentary is purported to show the rewards of "high end" travel arranged by one of the UK's premiere travel advisors and consultants. Their expertise has been in-valuable and they have to deal with those "pesky" booking persons in Oslo which regularly send us "up the wall" !

And the rewards of travel for us is meeting people who provide authentic service as an expression of their humane-ness and skill.

Christophe Cornu the Executive Hotel Manager personifies that "par excellent" and is rated by us as one of the best in the world whether on land or sea.

 

We hope (in a very modest way) to impress on viewers that for us, a person in whatever position can contribute to a valued authentic experience that soothes the soul and elevates the consciousness.

 

Hum was approved by the BBC 'cos they were impressed that he could express pretentious "bull" (like the previous paragraph) to (gullible) viewers.........only the august readers here, know that it is simply verbose drivel !!!!!

[commander courageous]

Thanks for your confidence in our business and design acumen.

 

We have engaged the law firm of Beatem, Kickem, and Schwartz to

prepare the requisite contracts for our services that will be forwarded

forthwith. If you would be kind enough to send along a retainer

in the amount of $150K, we stand ready to assist in PR to hype your

appearance and assure you are both "turned out" in attire

best reflecting on your increasing corpulence and Blondies ravishing

beauty.

 

We are already negotiating with executives from CBC to purchase

the broadcast rights for showing here, following the show's premier

in the "Posh Parts". Good luck and go easy on the make-up!

 

 

 

 

[popper]

So, "Keeping up with the Kardashians, SeaDream Edition"?