Chair Hogs a thing of the past?

[BobBeaSea]

We are just off Radiance and yes, there was some chair hogging going on (the 2 sea days). What was interesting is the Day 2 Compass and I quote; "Items lying on unoccupied chairs for over 15 minutes will be removed and taken to Guest Relations so that other guests may enjoy the sunshine, too".

 

That said, the weather was fantastic and the upper decks were busy on the sea days some some hogging is inevitable.

[weary traveler]

I'm an early riser, and to be honest.. i've seen people putting towels on chairs at 600am and then dissapearing for hours... now that's a little over the top. My wife and I alternate getting lunch or as she likes to do.. sends me for the two trays, i figure half the drinks they're serving have enuff fruit in them to constitute a meal to eat poolside lol, but i do sympathize with the pool swimmers.. sometimes dipping in the pool every half hour for ten minutes to cool off ... it would give the appearance of abandoning the chair. damned if you do damned if you dont..

[aebalc]

This is a hotly debated topic that I just can't get passionate about. I don't find the chairs near the pools to be "premium". The atmosphere is loud, too many kids, people dripping on you as they scoot by. I prefer a lounge in the shade with an ocean view and a mild breeze and have never failed to find what i wanted somewhere.

[Desertbelle]

If you are spending all your time in the pool swimming or in the hot tubs soaking, do your towel and shoes really need a chair? You could lay them on the ground next to a chair or on a table. On the other hand, if you are sitting in your chair and on occasion you take a swim or soak, even for 30+ minutes, but your intention is to return to the chair to read, sunbath, enjoy the pool games, etc, then I see no reason to give up your chair.

 

It's usually pretty easy to see which chairs actually belong to people in the area of the pool. The have the requisite towel, but usually there are shoes, robe/cover-up, book/magazine, drink glass, etc. I don't think anyone is upset over someone using the pool facilities while also holding on to a chair. People get upset over a sea of "held" chairs with a single towel or paperback on them that don't get used for hours....while they circle and circle trying to find a chair for themselves to occupy at the moment.

 

Many times when I am looking for a chair I only have plans on using it for 30-60 minutes....I'm not a big sunbather. I can't believe I am that unusual....I think most people just want to spend a while in a chair. I have always thought that if every person only held a chair that they were actually using there would NEVER be a shortage of chairs.

 

BTW, the pool patrol people were very visable on the Rhapsody, they wore yellow shirts with Deck Patrol in large letters on the back. I think the combination of them and the towel situation really helped!

[FLCruiseGirl]

Since so many people like to sit on deck by the pool, maybe new ships should have more pools and deck chair space instead of rock climbing walls, trampolines, etc. I wonder how many people actually do those things - compared to how many would like to spend more time around a pool if there was somewhere to sit?

[nedleycan]

I agree with you Dessertbelle. I cannot understand how someone can stay at the pool all day. I usually arrive at the pool around 10:00ish and read for about 15 minutes and then take a swim, then dry for about 10 minutes. Then I am done. Too bad someone wouldn't give me their chair for the 30 minutes I need it. Instead, they are off doing other things, leaving their belonging on a chair.

But, we are not shy. On a recent all-inclusive vacation, we could spot the "token towels" and we would just remove them and sit down. Nobody even showed up. If they would have, we would have apologized and given them the chair.

We have never experienced the "chair hogging" that you are talking about, on a cruise (Disney and Windstar). I sure hope we don't see it on our upcoming Nov. 25 Navigator cruise. It will put us "off" of RCCL.

[SteveP999]

Well....I almost got to the end before this took a turn toward flames.

 

Its like the abortion debate. When does life begin? At what point does being away from your chair make you a chair hog?

 

Everybody has different opinions, and the debate won't solve anything. Like the Supreme Court decision, RCI should make the rules and the customers should stick to them. 30 minutes. Is that what it is? Let's say that's what it is. 30 minutes. In the pool for over 30 minutes, no chair. Montazuma's Revenge and your in the potty for 30 minutes....you already have a chair where you are at. If you go to lunch - no chair. It isn't "finders keepers". If there are 1000 chairs and 4000 people, the cruiseline expects you to share.

 

Everybody has their own opinions of chair ownership. The cruise needs to make the rule and enforce the rule.

[cruisin granny]

Dosp, I agree with everything you said. I, too, spend the day at the pool and get up early to get a chair. I also leave my towel on my chair while I get lunch or for potty breaks. I make sure my husband is watching it with his eagle eye which is hard because he only has sight in one eye.. I feel I do not need to give my chair to someone who slept till noon. I may not have a chair when I get back, if I do. . Maybre they should assign "tan times" 9-12 & 12-3 according to staterooms. Just joking-I would not cruise on a ship that did this.

Dosp, maybe we should complain about the big boobs. They are a distraction to my husband, & he doesn't watch my chair as well as he should. He he After 38 years of marriage-let him watch.

[MrsPete]

This made the chair hogs angry, but

Lemme think a moment . . . do I care about the chair hogs being angry? Nope. Not a bit.

[MrsPete]

If I am spending 8 or 9 hours at the pool, why shouldn't I get 30 to 40 minutes to have a nice lunch and then return to my spot???

Because when I show up around noontime, I can't look at your chair and tell whether you're using the chair for the whole day or 30 minutes, but I can tell that I am without a chair and you're not using a chair at that point! If you leave for a different activity (and a meal is an activity) you should give up your chair.

[Cats' slave]

I think if we all just used the chairs while we sat in the sun or watched our kids swim, then left them when we wanted to go shopping or whatever, there would be plenty of chairs for everyone. Going to the bathroom or dipping in the pool is not what I'm complaining about.

 

I just don't understand the concept that if you get up early and claim "your" chair, you own it all day. Do you feel the same way about your chair in the Windjammer? There wouldn't be enough chairs for lunch if everyone felt that way.

 

You should use the chair while you need it, and then leave it for the next guy.

 

On one cruise, my eighty year old mother-in-law wanted to sit out in the sun for a little while. We circled the ship for over half an hour and there were so many chairs not in use but claimed with a towel. Or maybe they were abandoned. Who could tell? We finally sat in two of them.

 

After about 30 minutes this woman from hell came out screeching that we were sitting in her chairs. I am not used to this kind of behavior and I wanted to leave to shut the woman up. My mother-in-law would have sat there all day but she could tell I was embarrassed.

 

We gave up the chairs, walked some more and eventually found others. We watched the screecher's chairs and no one ever sat in them.

 

For the person who asked about the Mariner, the new towel policy seems to be helping. I didn't lie in the sun but it looked like there were chairs had I wanted one.

[Leejnd4]

I love these threads. For any of you who didn't see this before, here's my classic...

 

NATIONAL CRUISEOGRAPHIC’S CHAIR HOG SAFARI

 

They are one of cruising’s most elusive, yet dangerous creatures. Evidence of them is rampant on virtually all cruise ships worldwide, and yet verified encounters with the beast itself are rare. Even when one is spotted, or worse, approached, they will fight to the death to avoid being identified. Actual skirmishes with them have led to fisticuffs and ruined vacations. Some believe they don’t really exist…that they are a myth. They are one of tourism’s most mysterious beasts. They are…

 

Chair Hogs!

 

National Cruisographic’s Western Caribbean correspondent, Ian Iluvabuffet, went on a ten-month cruisafari in search of this mythical creature. Over the course of his daring pursuit he encountered great dangers that would strike fear into the hearts of the less-stalwart: enormous, balding men in speedos, women in four-inch spike heels staggering blindly behind plates piled three feet high with chocolate-covered strawberries from the midnight buffet, and strange rites-of-passage with names such as “Quest” involving horrifying displays of human undergarments and even body parts. What he found was massive amounts of artifacts, fossils, and angry passengers, but only one, unverified Chair Hog identification – which, tragically, resulted in a bloody nose.

 

And this wasn’t the only physical injury endured by our intrepid correspondent. In addition to his reshaped proboscis, Ian returned home with a full 14 inches added to his waistline…an ailment that National Cruisographic’s medical specialists say may take up to a year to resolve.

 

But he did get a nice tan.

 

Ian’s journey began in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, where he participated in the ritual known as “embarkation.” This, he came to learn, was a process that could take anywhere from 15 minutes to four hours, depending on the cruise line, the number of passengers, and the amount of smuggled booze being confiscated. Ian quickly learned the secrets of avoiding booze detection, and soon came to actually enjoy the taste of mint-flavored Listerine mixed in with his single-malt Scotch.

 

Once onboard a targeted ship, Ian would set to the hunt. After the requisite night of partying in the casino (which was necessary to avoid detection), Ian managed to drag himself out of bed by 10:00 am and head to the known feeding grounds of chair hogs – the pool deck. Sure enough, there he would spot plenty of evidence of chair hog activity: rows of pool chairs devoid of human occupation, but peppered with Chair Hog artifacts ranging from John Grisham and Jacqueline Suzanne novels to ripped tuxedo t-shirts to broken flip-flops.

 

“It was interesting to note,” Ian said, “that the flip-flops were never together – there was always a flip on one chair, and a flop on another.” This observation led our behind-the-scenes experts to spend a full two weeks in a frustrating and ultimately unsuccessful effort to identify which was in fact the flip, and which was the flop. (Half of the team said the right foot is the flip, the other half said the left foot…oh never mind.)

 

Other evidence of Chair Hog activity included the tying together of multiple pool chairs with various items – towels, robe ties, ladies thong underwear woven into intricate patterns. Over time, Ian learned to spot new and ever more ingenious, and in some cases gruesome, tactics used by the elusive Chair Hogs to mark their territory. Boxes of tampons and condoms were spotted, as well as dirty diapers, fake (presumably) dog poo, even a baby. Alone. Sleeping. Tied to the chair. For hours.

 

The strangest thing, according to Ian, was that “…you never saw the actual creatures themselves! You saw their territory marked everywhere, but if you turned around, the next time you looked there would be a human in the chair.”

 

If he asked them if they’d been the ones saving the chair, they always denied it…even if they were reading the John Grisham paperback that had been left on the chair. This led Ian to assume that these novels are entirely interchangeable, so that if you happen to pick one up wherever you are, you can drop right into the middle of the book and know exactly what’s happening. (Further investigation by our team of experts has proven this to be true.)

 

After many days of this frustrating but fruitless hunt, Ian determined that Chair Hogs are, in fact, a variation of nocturnal. In other words, they are not exactly night-crawling creatures, but they do practice a form of night maneuvers: specifically, they interrupt their nighttime sleep cycle in order to rise before dawn and mark their territory. Then, they emerge from their dens (usually inside cabins) hours later to slip unnoticed into the crowd of regular cruise passengers.

 

Finally, after weeks with no direct sightings, Ian resolved to catch them in the act. Sadly, this proved to be an impossible task. Ian had spent all these many weeks doing his absolute best to fit in with the indigenous population by following their traditional patterns of behavior, identified as the following: rising at mid-morning, eating breakfast at the buffet, lounging at the pool, accepting the continually-offered foo-foo drinks (it’s considered bad karma in this culture to turn them down), eating a buffet lunch at noon, watching pool-side rituals such as belly-flop and hairy-chest contests, eating Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, watching a strange custom known as the “art auction” in which passengers are enthusiastically encouraged to pay more and more money for second-rate art, consuming more foo-foo drinks at the pool, eating at Johnny Rockets, going on shore for a little while to buy new, larger clothes for the ever-expanding girth, dressing in too-tight formal attire, eating a six-course dinner in the dining room, watching performers in heavy make-up and colorful, feathered costumes gyrate rhythmically to well-known show tunes, going to the midnight chocolate buffet to engorge on cheesecake and chocolate covered strawberries, inserting massive quantities of money into slot machines while drinking over-priced alcoholic beverages, and finally weaving down the corridor to one’s cabin to pass out in an alcohol-induced stupor.

 

Ian determined that Chair Hogs are clearly hardy creatures that somehow can do all that, and STILL drag their sorry butts out to the pool before dawn to mark their territory before going back to their own dens for a few more hours of coma.

 

“There was no way that any normal human can do this,” reports Ian.

 

Our intrepid correspondent was almost ready to pack it in and carry home all of the cruise-line logo key chains he’d won at the Quest and Trivia contests, when finally his luck changed.

 

“I’d had a particularly grueling night in the casino,” reports Ian. “It was the blackjack tournament. I’d met some Russian guys who were drinking something called absinthe, and they kept forcing it on me. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor in my cabin, and it was almost noon!”

 

Realizing that his chances for finding a place to sit at the pool were rapidly disappearing with every passing minute, Ian dashed outside to find that, sure enough, every single pool chair was either occupied by someone sipping a brightly colored drink with an umbrella swizzle stick, or marked by a dizzying array of Chair Hog artifacts.

 

Desperate, feeling hung-over and needing a foo-foo drink like he’d never needed anything before in his life, Ian made a momentous decision…one that would haunt him for the remainder of his cruise, and that would lead to his one and only unverified encounter with the mysterious, elusive Chair Hog.

 

He moved a flip. (Or a flop, depending on which team member you ask.)

 

Ninety minutes later, on his fourth fluorescent, nuclear-waste-colored drink, it happened. Ian recounts the details:

 

“A large, extremely hairy alpha male in a microscopic yellow Speedo approached me,” Ian said. “I immediately became frightened – his eyes showed rage beyond anything I’d ever seen in the animal kingdom before. His stomach protruded at least four feet ahead of him. I knew that if he sat on me, all would be lost.

 

“He stormed up to me and yelled, ‘Hey, dude, you’re in my chair!’

 

“‘Um, no I’m not,’ I replied tentatively. ‘No one was sitting here when I got here an hour and a half ago.’

 

“‘You’re fulla cr*p! I’ve been in this chair all day!’ he screamed. ‘That’s my sandal on the floor beside you. Get outta my chair, you pansy!’

 

“All around me, I heard a sound that was unmistakable and chilling: ‘SLUUURP!’ It was the sound of a hundred brain-freeze headaches being created as people sucked down their foo foo drinks in anticipation and excitement. The waiters began scurrying to quickly deliver refills, as the crowd hunkered down for something they seemed to be expecting. It was as if they’d seen this before, and knew what was gonna happen.

 

“At this point, something I can’t explain came over me. My therapist says that it was due to unresolved anger at my Marine Corp daddy who called me a pansy after I wouldn’t fight back when Merv Zackerman beat the snot out of me in the fifth grade. My wife says I’m just nuts.” [ian’s wife left him shortly after reports of this incident became public – Editor’s note.]

 

“Whatever it was, I stood up. ‘Oh, you mean THIS old thing?’ I said, picking up the broken old flip [or flop – Ed.] with two fingers like it was a particularly disgusting specimen of insect.

 

“Then I did something that to this day I can’t believe. I leaned back, wound up and tossed it as hard as I could. The crowd ooohed like it was a fireworks show on the Fourth of July as the flip [flop! – Ed.] sailed overboard.”

 

“The place grew silent. A hundred pairs of lips poised over their nuclear drinks. I stood there, breathing heavily, knowing I’d finally done it! I’d stood up for myself! I mean…um…I saw a Chair Hog! A REAL one! And I had witnesses to boot.

 

“The Chair Hog’s bloodshot eyes bored a hole into me. He started moving. I stood my ground. He marched up to me, his swollen abdomen swaying in front of him. Suddenly the whole world exploded as his fist shot out and slammed me right in the nose. I felt myself being lifted from the pool deck, and the next thing I new, out I went, sailing into the air, and then falling…falling…twelve decks down, following the exact same path as the flip [FLOP! – Ed] before me. And on my way down, just before I hit the warm Caribbean waters with an enormous splash, I heard a piercing noise I will never forget…

 

“SLUUUURP!”

 

It only took 45 minutes for Ian Iluvabuffet to be rescued. Sadly, by the time he was hauled back onboard, the Chair Hog had managed to slip back into the passenger population unnoticed.

 

Investigators after the fact were able to identify a potential suspect based on Ian’s description: a Merv Grazinski from Oklahoma City. But even after repeated interrogations, Mr. Grazinksi denied that he was, in fact, a Chair Hog. He did acknowledge witnessing the incident; however, his version of the story differed markedly from Ian’s:

 

“This ugly dude came staggering out to the pool deck, wearing swim trunks two sizes too small and yanked all the way up to his man-boobs. He was holding onto an empty bottle of absinthe and spouting Russian phrases with a fake British accent. I was walking back to my chair after swimming 500 laps in the pool – I’m training for a triathlon, ya know – and there he was trying to sit down in my chair! I said, ‘Hey, whattaya doin, dude?’ He asked me what my name was, of all things! When I said, ‘Merv,’ the guy starting shrieking like a girl at a horror flick! The next thing we knew he’d backed right into the railing, and then, still screaming like a banshee, the whacko climbed UP on the railing, and then LAUNCHED himself overboard, screaming ‘I’M NOT A PANSY, DADDY!’ the whole way down.”

 

The incident is still being investigated.

 

So, after ten months of searching, tons of all-you-can-eat-buffet food, uncountable foo-foo drinks and literally tens of thousands of dollars poured into the slot machines, the search was over. But were any questions answered? Do Chair Hogs really exist, or are they a figment of the imagination of over-fed and inebriated cruise passengers? Will we ever really know?

 

Ian thinks so.

 

In our next installment, Ian attempts to infiltrate the frightening, perilous underworld of the most reviled people at sea – those who wear jeans in the dining room on formal night.

 

-- LeeAnne Clark, 2006

[SissasMomE]

That was my point. We are all paying customers so why should people be able to hog chairs with towels and personal belonging when they are spending an hour in their cabins or at lunch. I have seen it tons of times and even heard people say ok lets go out and get some lunch, while they set up towels, shoes, books, etc. on the chairs before walking off as a group to go eat lunch. What gives them the right to do that when there are all kinds of people walking around the deck looking for an open chair?

 

There isn't any reason why a person cannot go and have their lunch and come back to their chair. I am one of the first people out on deck in the morning. I get my chair then I go to the buffet and get my breakfast and bring it back to my chair to eat. I am there, in my chair, for a good 4 - 5 hours before going back to the buffet for lunch. If I decide to take a break frm the sun and eat my lunch in the Windjammer, why should I lose my chair?? We are talking 30 - 40 minutes max. No, I don't think I will remove my towel or my belongings for lunch.

[Leejnd4]

There isn't any reason why a person cannot go and have their lunch and come back to their chair. I am one of the first people out on deck in the morning. I get my chair then I go to the buffet and get my breakfast and bring it back to my chair to eat. I am there, in my chair, for a good 4 - 5 hours before going back to the buffet for lunch. If I decide to take a break frm the sun and eat my lunch in the Windjammer, why should I lose my chair?? We are talking 30 - 40 minutes max. No, I don't think I will remove my towel or my belongings for lunch.

What you need to remember is that the cruise line itself specifies an appropriate amount of time for leaving your chair. There are signs posted on most ships -- they usually say that chairs cannot be saved for longer than 20 or 30 minutes. Maybe you feel you have the right to reserve your chair for longer than the cruise line says you can -- but guess what, you have to play by the rules just like the rest of us. You are not more special than any other passenger, you do not have any more rights to that chair than anyone else. I know, we all would like to think we are more special or important or entitled than everyone else....but you're not.

[SissasMomE]

What you need to remember is that the cruise line itself specifies an appropriate amount of time for leaving your chair. There are signs posted on most ships -- they usually say that chairs cannot be saved for longer than 20 or 30 minutes. Maybe you feel you have the right to reserve your chair for longer than the cruise line says you can -- but guess what, you have to play by the rules just like the rest of us. You are not more special than any other passenger, you do not have any more rights to that chair than anyone else. I know, we all would like to think we are more special or important or entitled than everyone else....but you're not.

 

Well now, you are quite wrong. I am.

[Leejnd4]

Well now, you are quite wrong. I am.

LOL! REEEally? Well, I'll be sure to curtsy when I see you. After all, it's not too often I encounter really super special more-important-than-everyone-else people! ;) :rolleyes:

[SissasMomE]

LOL! REEEally? Well, I'll be sure to curtsy when I see you. After all, it's not too often I encounter really super special more-important-than-everyone-else people! ;) :rolleyes:

 

Make sure you do ... and don't trip on your way down, dearie :rolleyes:

[Leejnd4]

Make sure you do ... and don't trip on your way down, dearie :rolleyes:

Well aren't we pleasant? But then, I suppose all Chair Hogs share certain traits...so I'm not surprised. :D

[SakeDad]

Well now, you are quite wrong. I am.

 

 

MEOW!!! Bartender! May I have a saucer of cream for the CATTY one!!!!:p

[Leejnd4]

MEOW!!! Bartender! May I have a saucer of cream for the CATTY one!!!!:p

ROFL! Yes, we all love a good catfight, don't we? PFFFT! PFFFT! ;)

[captainron]

Interesting,

In the 40s through the early 70s, you could reserve a deck chair for the duration of the voyage (depending on the cruise/shipping line).

After contacting a deck steward in the locale of where you wished your chair to be, he/she would graciously slip a name tag on the chair with your cabin number and give you a slip with a number on as receipt for your chair.

 

Aaah for the good old days.. God help we should have deck stewards work!!!

 

Ciao for now!!!

[IIcaptain]

MY chair,My chair...oh my gosh.... share children....enjoy the cruise...act like an adult.

[captainron]

Chair hogs or old sows, :rolleyes:

 

Call them what you will. When on the Explorer, a woman next to me came and removed someone else's belongings (8:30am)who had gone to get a coffee, put them all on the floor and dumped her own flip flops (extra pair) along with the requisite paperback and cabin (not deck) towel on the other woman's chair.

 

I looked on aghast. When the original woman came back she confronted the old sow and was immediately told that this was her chair on every cruise by the pool and she saw no reason why it should change now .

Well the old dear decided she needed to go freshen her share of pancake makeup (helped protect against sunburn I guess).

 

What to her surprise should the old sow find when she came back but :eek: ...oh my God where's all my stuff gone?

Seems the deck crew on the Explorer couldn't have cared less but I knew where her stuff was...probably about 7-8 nautical miles back floating gracefully in the blue Caribbean.

 

As the first lady returned to another chair (she managed to find) from the dastardly deed, the old chair sow was still looking for her stuff, but alas, nobody had a clue what happened to it. I smiled at the younger lady, lowered my sunglasses and went back to reading my requisite paperback...but on a deck towel with umbrella drink in hand (LOL). ;)

 

So, if you're somewhere between Costa Maya and Georgetown and see a RCCL cabin towel floating by with a flowery pink pair of flip flops and a soggy old paperback, give a thought to the poor inconsiderate old chair hogs/sows.:D

 

Ya gotta luv it, and all this before 10am. Simply put...don't hog chairs...it doesn't pay!!!

 

Ciao for now!!!

[Leejnd4]

I have no problems moving a chair hog's artifacts to another location. (Naturally I only do so if I can verify that no one has been in the chair for the cruiseline-specified period of time.) I've developed a new tactic for dealing with chair hogs who return demanding their chair back. I simply freak them out beyond all reason.

 

Here is a transcript of my last chair hog encounter:

 

Hog: Hey! Excuse me, but you're in my chair!

Me: Chair me in this you?

Hog: No, you are in MY chair! See that stuff you dumped on the wet floor? That's mine, I put it there this morning. Would you mind giving me my chair back?

Me: Stuff chair floor for me and you?

Hog: No, you idiot, I'm tellin' you that's MY stuff, which is getting all wet! Now move, wouldja?

Me: The drinks flow and the blood curls!

Hog: HUH?

Me: Say yes please!

Hog: Um....look, I don't know what you're saying, but I'M saying get the hell out of my chair, okay?

Me: Banded together in flight, we love to climb aboard. You too?

Hog: (Stares in shock, speechless)

Me: Yes, we have no bananas!

Hog: Alright, I've had about enough of this. You move your ass outa my chair right now, or I'll move it for you!

Me: FOO FOO DRINK!

Hog: (Turns around) Martha! Get over here, you gotta see this!

Me: Martha Martha bo bartha, banana fanna fo fartha!

Hog: (Clenches teeth and raises fists threateningly) You better cut that out or you're gonna be sorry...

Me: Explosion imminent...danger danger...oops too late, bladder emptied...

Hog: Oh my God. I'm outa here. (Turns around and walks away.)

Me: (To nearby waiter) Hiya! I would just love another Bahama Mama. Such a beautiful day at the pool here, don't you think?

[Nancyquilts]

For those of us who come to the pool to swim - when it isn't crowded I try to do laps for 30-35 minutes (good for the arthritis)- there should be some place other than a poolside chair on which to put our coverup, shoes, cabin key, etc. It would be really nice if the cruise lines could provide small cubbies near the pool so we could keep our things safe while not using a chair for storage when someone else would enjoy sitting there. I will now get down off my soapbox. Nancy