Safety Concern: Issue I Experienced on Sensation

[Ichellebereel]

letscruisegd, I can truly relate to your incident. I was on a Carnival ship on my first Carnival cruise. I was traveling with my 2 sons (18 & 16) & my nephew (16). I decided on the last night to go out on the lido deck and sit out and enjoy the last night at sea. When a guy approached me and made invited me to go down some step with him. I told him no way and he continue with to say others thing that I wasn't comfortable with. I left the lido deck and something told me not to go to my cabin so I went down towards the disco as I looked up he was standing at the top of the stairs. No I didn't report him to the pursar desk because the only thing I knew was that he had a white uniform on. He didn't have a name tag on either but what I did do, I went and found my 2 sons and my nephew and I told them about the incident because I didn't feel safe going back to my cabin along.

letcruisegd, I can truly understand why you did what you did. this was my first cruise and I wasn't aware of necessary steps to take. People can always say what they would have, could have or should have done until they are place in the situation. What I learned from that incident is that whenever I cruise I never go anywhere alone I always let someone in the group knows what area I am going to be at on the ship. I take walkie talkies with me.

If a incident arises again I will definitely report it.

[Stircrzy]

Well, I am just trying to understand someone's point of view that is more demure than I am. Personally, I would have taken him out at the knees....but not everyone is comfortable with that.

 

I would have aimed a little higher than his knees...

[Stircrzy]

I know that it is over, but can't you turn it in now? I would think getting that info to the cruise line, whether they do anything or not, would be good. Maybe that is crazy...But, I would think it was worth doing. :rolleyes:

 

I agree...send Carnival all of the information on this incident so that they can add the complaint to this employee's file...at the very least.

[cruiseco]

A few years back someone who we became acquainted with at lunch was telling us about a Heead Waiter that was saying some pretty inappropriate things to them -- these were two mid-20's single women. This was three days into the cruise and they were hesitant to complain because then they would have to still deal with this guy.

 

I had a few words with the Maitre 'd, explained the situation and suggested that the best temporary solution would be to have him work the other dining room. We never saw the guy again. Don't know what, if any, other action was taken.

[dchi72]

I got to be very good friends with one of the crew on the Conquest. I used to live in the Phillipines, in the same town as he grew up in.

 

Anyway, I asked about relationships on the cruise ship. He though I meant with the passengers and told that anyone on the crew caught harassing a passenger is warned to stop. If it continues, they are released from thier duties and put ashore at the next available opportunity.

[Cotton]

I would have aimed a little higher than his knees...

 

:D Been there. Done that.

 

That's why my kids don't worry about me when I cruise solo. They know mom can take care of herself.....all 5'1" and 104 lbs. of me! I know how to put the hurt on a masher.

[sotadragon]

I got to be very good friends with one of the crew on the Conquest. I used to live in the Phillipines, in the same town as he grew up in.

 

Anyway, I asked about relationships on the cruise ship. He though I meant with the passengers and told that anyone on the crew caught harassing a passenger is warned to stop. If it continues, they are released from thier duties and put ashore at the next available opportunity.

Wow. I hope that's true! Not that I think he'd lie to you, I don't know this person at all, but you never know. Anyway, that's a very good policy to have for that sort of situation.

[lovncruzn]

I too had a similar experience. It was on our first cruise aboard a Commodore ship. My husband was actually with me, but he only made comments or called the room when he knew my husband wasn't around. He went so far as to ask me to meet him in NOLA when he was off. At the time I was young (23) and had married young(19) so him telling me how beautiful I was really flattered me at the time. I didn't tell my husband until after we got back home. Now that I am older and look back at the situation I see how completely STUPID I was and see the danger I could have put myself in. So-BE CAREFUL!!!

[BlueHerons]

I would have aimed a little higher than his knees...

 

Stircrazy, never ever go for the crotch unless it is the only way out; men expect you to go for the crotch. Always go for the eyes. Gouge them out if possible.

 

My best friend's husband teaches self defense to women.

[seamama1]

I am amazed at the naivete of the OP. What would you have done if this happened at home? Someone from your apartment complex or in your neighborhood?

 

You should have reported him immediately to the Purser and to the head of Security. You should then follow up the next day to see what the disposition was. To not do so was a diservice to yourself and to other women on the ship and those who are cruising in the future.

 

You can write a letter now if you wish but it is probably too late. I doubt very seriously if Carnival will just take your word for it that this happened. It should have been handled right there, right then.

 

You can only be a victim if you allow yourself to be unless the perpetrator is armed.

[Stircrzy]

Stircrazy, never ever go for the crotch unless it is the only way out; men expect you to go for the crotch. Always go for the eyes. Gouge them out if possible.

 

My best friend's husband teaches self defense to women.

 

I was intending to inject a little humor by stating "I'd aim a little higher than his knee"...

 

Actually, I'm well trained in Tang Soo Do, a Korean form of martial arts, and do know not to choose the groin as first choice.

 

All women should learn basic self defense!

[NotAPirate]

This was actually my main reason for not reporting it. This happened on the first night of the cruise and I didn't know if the ship would do anything. I didn't think to report it at the end but that would have been the best thing to do. I'll know to do that now if I happen to have anymore uncomfortable situations happen.

 

Other than this incident, my cruise was wonderful (I already posted a review).

Report any advances or harassment immediately, especially after a crew member calls your room. That is strictly against their policies and they can actually track calls to cabins. There are well-trained security staffers onboard, as well as a brig on EVERY cruise ship...

[letscruisegd]

mercedes355 - I don't feel you were making light of the issue at all. I appreciate your apology but there's no need for one. Since you had a similar experience, I know you can relate to what I dealt with. Your comments in your previous were fine. I can imagine the look on that guys face when he realized his photo had been taken:).

 

Ichellebereel - Thank you for your kind words. You're right about how people can say what the would have, could have or should have done. One never knows how they will handle the issue until they are faced with it.

 

I am amazed at the naivete of the OP. What would you have done if this happened at home? Someone from your apartment complex or in your neighborhood?

No need to be amazed because trust me, I am not even close to being naive. If that were the case I would have fallen for the so called charming talk. Not reporting it does not make me naive, it just means I could have handled that situation better by reporting it. As for the what if's...I don't pre-occupy my mind with what if's. If I did that I wouldn't have time to think about anything else. I understand what you're saying about the importance of this being reported but there is no need to assume I'm naive just because I didn't report it. I just look at it as a learning experience and I'll certainly handle things differently if I'm ever faced with something like this again.

 

Report any advances or harassment immediately, especially after a crew member calls your room. That is strictly against their policies and they can actually track calls to cabins. There are well-trained security staffers onboard, as well as a brig on EVERY cruise ship...

It's good to know the calls can be tracked as well as knowing about the security staffers and brig. It's just that the only thing on my mind at the time was the fact that this man had my personal information and I was concerned about his potential actions if he was made aware that I reported him and he was still free to roam the ship with just a warning.

[DqALEX]

I debated on whether or not I should post this but I decided to go ahead and post as a way to inform young ladies onboard to be careful when approached by crew member; especially when it’s uninvited. I usually have conversations with crew members (both male and female) and there’s one I met about 2 ½ years ago who still keeps in touch to this day. So some are simply being nice and are not up to anything. I know sometimes passengers flirt with crew members as well as crew members flirt with passengers but what this guy did was out of line.

Here’s my story. I was in the dining room and noticed one of the servers somewhat staring at me. When I noticed this he smiled and nodded his head as if to say hello. Trying not to be rude, I nodded my head to speak back to him. I saw him looking at me several times during the meal and I would just look away and continue my meal. When I was getting ready to leave the dining room he was standing near me and smiled at me again as I was leaving. I didn’t think anything of it; I thought it was just another crew member trying to get a playmate for the weekend. Later on that evening I stopped in my room for a few minutes before heading out to enjoy the evening events. Right as I was getting ready to leave my room the phone rang. I was cruising with a friend and her dad so when the phone rang I just assumed it was my friend. When I answered it was a male’s voice with an accent so it was clearly not my friends dad. He said my name and I ask who he was and he said a secret admirer. I told him I don’t play secret admirer games and he needed to tell me who he was. I look much younger than I am so maybe he didn’t realize he was dealing with a mature adult and not a younger person who may be taken by the secret admirer thing more easily. He proceeded to tell me he was the server in the dining room who smiled at me. I of course then asked him how he got my name and room number and this is the part that concerned me. It concerned me mainly because I was in a room alone. Even when I choose to talk to people onboard I don’t give them my room number. He stated he got my room number out of the computer system based on my table number. I didn't realize crew members had access to this information. I was at the table with my friend and her dad who share the same last name and a married couple who of course share the same last name. He figured out my name based on the fact that I was the only single one there. He proceeded to try and continue a conversation by telling me how special I am to him and of course my thing was “you don’t know me so there’s no way I can be special to you”. At that point I hung up. My phone rang the following morning and again I thought it was my friend I was traveling with. I was wrong…it was the dining room server again. I hung up and didn’t answer my phone anymore that morning. Later that day I was on the lido deck and felt someone touch me. Yes you guess it; it was him and I had a few choice words for him. After that he didn’t bother me anymore.

The reason I chose to post this is because if he tried to throw on the charm with someone who might be flattered by the attention and choose to spend time with him, they may get into something they can’t handle. Anyone who would look a woman up the way he did and be bold enough to call the room with the so called charming talk and put his hands on me in a place as full of people as the lido deck certainly couldn’t be trusted behind closed doors. I realized after the fact that I probably should have reported it but since I didn’t, I thought I would give a heads up on cc just to warn young ladies to be careful and take the same safety precautions onboard just like you would anywhere else.

Im glad Im a guy. I never have those kind of problems

[Buster27]

I had a somewhat similar situation a few cruises ago. I was sitting alone at a table at Carlos & Charlies in Cozumel. My kids and friends were all on the dance floor. A guy came up and asked if he could sit down. The place was crowded...I thought he just wanted a seat. After a little conversation, I quickly realized he was from the crew of our ship. He got WAY too personal. I gave him a fake name and a fake room number.

Thought no more of it.

The next day in Grand Cayman...I'm laying on the beach...feel a shadow, look up and THERE HE IS...with a bottle of wine for "us"! My kids thought this whole thing was hilarious...I was in my LATE 40's at the time! He had tried to call my room...knew I'd given him the wrong number. I told him in NO uncertain terms I was married...NOT interested in him or his wine and to go away.

 

At our last stop in Ochos Rios.. I'm shopping at Margaritaville, feel a tap on my shoulder and THERE HE WAS AGAIN !!!! Wanted to go get a drink. I'd had enough by this time. I told him I was turning him in to the purser and I did. He was a cabin steward .... I don't know what happened to him. Thankfully, he never bothered me or found me on the ship !!!!

[letscruisegd]

From the responses I've read it appears that crew members often make unwelcomed advances toward female passengers and cross the line in doing so (borderline stalking). The more I read these responses the more I realize the importance of reporting these types of issues when they happen. I enjoy cruising (often times solo) and I have no intention of allowing out of order crew members to make me feel too uncomfortable to continue to cruise. These men need to understand that not all of us are on these ships looking for a shipboard fling.

[GoinCruisin]

From the responses I've read it appears that crew members often make unwelcomed advances toward female passengers and cross the line in doing so (borderline stalking). The more I read these responses the more I realize the importance of reporting these types of issues when they happen. I enjoy cruising (often times solo) and I have no intention of allowing out of order crew members to make me feel too uncomfortable to continue to cruise. These men need to understand that not all of us are on these ships looking for a shipboard fling.

 

I certainly wouldn't say "often" considering the millions that cruise a year, and there are a handful of questionable things in this thread... no, not often at all. Also, many times people will misconstrue an advance... these people are from other countries, different customs, friendlier, etc. So if someone puts a hand on a woman's shoulder, she may consider that an advance... Yours definitely should be reported, but I would say this is FAR from something that happens often.

[Cotton]

From the responses I've read it appears that crew members often make unwelcomed advances toward female passengers ....

 

No ... I don't think is a common occurence at all! You've read only a very few remarks that in no way represent the vast majority of cruisers.

[BlueHerons]

I was intending to inject a little humor by stating "I'd aim a little higher than his knee"...

 

!

 

But I have no sense of humor.......

 

 

:D

[LizaMM]

I certainly wouldn't say "often" considering the millions that cruise a year, and there are a handful of questionable things in this thread... no, not often at all. Also, many times people will misconstrue an advance... these people are from other countries, different customs, friendlier, etc. So if someone puts a hand on a woman's shoulder, she may consider that an advance... Yours definitely should be reported, but I would say this is FAR from something that happens often.

 

 

I agree.

 

I am sure that the percentage of out of line Crew is very small. There are thousands of crew members at sea. In any large number of people like that there will always be some that are inappropriate. WHICH is why I agree that when it does happen it should be reported and it is certainly good to post your experience as reminder that these things do happen. Although a cruise vacation is safer than most anywhere else (including perhaps your hometown) it is still not foolproof and people should be aware and keep that in mind.

 

Although this does not apply to the dining staff - As Crew members get promoted their allowance to fraternize with the Pax to some degree increases.....some levels are allowed to dance with us in the disco and entertainers who join us for pizza on the Lido deck for example. I would hate to see someone move up through the ranks when they should not.

[letscruisegd]

GoinCruisin, Cotton, LizaMM

 

I can see what each of you are saying about this not happening often considering the number of cruisers compared to the number of us who post on these boards. Considering the percentage of cruisers on cc who experienced a similar issue represent a handful of cruisers, these types of issues are probably rare. Although they may be rare, I understand the importance of reporting it.

[Caribbean Dad]

Well in this day and age, as a woman, if there are some that AREN'T comfortable with that, they need to learn to be comfortable with that :D

 

**Note to self. Don't p*ss Chris off!!! :eek:**

 

;) :D

 

I have to agree with the immediate reporting of the incident. If it is habitual or Carnival thinks it is serious enough, you never know, they may put him and his belongings off at the next port, and let him find his own way home.

[E46Driver]

So, did she hook up or what?

[Cotton]

This reply and your Poseidon reply make me think you are about 12 years old.

[mercedes355]

I certainly wouldn't say "often" considering the millions that cruise a year, and there are a handful of questionable things in this thread... no, not often at all. Also, many times people will misconstrue an advance... these people are from other countries, different customs, friendlier, etc. So if someone puts a hand on a woman's shoulder, she may consider that an advance... Yours definitely should be reported, but I would say this is FAR from something that happens often.

 

I understand there are different customs in other countries. I did not elaborate on all the things he said to me prior to putting his hand on my shoulder. I definitely did not misconstrue the advance. It was obvious. Also, I had already made it clear after he called my stateroom that I was uncomfortable with the things he was saying.

 

I was very firm that I was not interested. He still tried to convince me to go with him to some private area so we could be alone. Body language is universal. You know if someone is interested or not.

 

That being said, I do not think this is really a big problem on cruises but as women we need to be aware that these people do exist. I know what happened to me may sound farfetched to some people but believe me if you knew my grandmother, you would understand.

 

Jennifer