Safety Concern: Issue I Experienced on Sensation

[dansu]

From the responses I've read it appears that crew members often make unwelcomed advances toward female passengers and cross the line in doing so (borderline stalking). The more I read these responses the more I realize the importance of reporting these types of issues when they happen. I enjoy cruising (often times solo) and I have no intention of allowing out of order crew members to make me feel too uncomfortable to continue to cruise. These men need to understand that not all of us are on these ships looking for a shipboard fling.

 

 

Do the word's "GREEN CARD" come to mind...or is it just me!

....you are cruising...assumption: you must have money

....you are North American....assumption: land of opportunity

....you are travelling alone....assumption: you have to be lonely

therefore, assumption: I am cute to look at...I speak with a cute accent, I like you...please take me home with you!

 

I can understand why she didn't report him, as she hoped he would just go away...she was afraid he might cause her grief, and why should she have to hide for the rest of her cruise...if he could get her personal info on board, did he have her home info as well? If he was thrown off the ship in USA, after losing his job, would he look her up there too? Put yourself in her shoes...but after she rejected his advances I'm sure he just moved on to find some other unsuspecting cruiser eager for his advances in his never ending vigil for the holy grail... the much coveted "green card."

 

..and telling CCL now would be fruitless, the time to report him was before leaving the ship...besides CCL already knows, as it is common knowledge they troll the thread.

[Keys2Heaven]

After reading some of these posts, I just need to ask why the reluctance to report someone if you aren't comfortable with the individual's actions. I know we like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and when we are on vacation we tend to loosen up, but that never makes it o.k. for someone to put one finger on you.

 

I'm a father of two teen girls and would like to know that if they were approached by anyone and felt uncomfortable that they would tell us or someone. You can be assured that we would file a report, be it first or last day of the cruise.

 

I guess I just don't understand NOT wanting to report it until after the cruise is over. There are RULES that these employees must follow and fratinizing with passengers isn't allowed from what I understand.

 

How many news reports, Oprah specials, Montel shows does it take before people understand that it is their responsibility to speak up and say something when they aren't comfortable with someone's actions. Again, as others have stated, what would it have taken before you DID report this.

 

Yes, I'm glad that your "choice words" caused this person to back off. But, what if he didn't. Then what.

 

I'm glad that you did post however. Because of your post, I'm going to sit down with my girls tonight and discuss this with them and talk about what to do in a situation like this.

 

But my unsolicited advice is this: ALWAYS REPORT ANY ACTION BY ANY EMPLOYEE THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE IMMEDIATELY!!!!

[letscruisegd]

After reading some of these posts, I just need to ask why the reluctance to report someone if you aren't comfortable with the individual's actions.

 

Again, as others have stated, what would it have taken before you DID report this.

 

Yes, I'm glad that your "choice words" caused this person to back off. But, what if he didn't. Then what.

 

I'm glad that you did post however. Because of your post, I'm going to sit down with my girls tonight and discuss this with them and talk about what to do in a situation like this.

 

But my unsolicited advice is this: ALWAYS REPORT ANY ACTION BY ANY EMPLOYEE THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE IMMEDIATELY!!!!

 

For me the reluctance was due to feeling like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand I felt I should have reported it because I thought about the possibility of him trying this with someone who welcomed his advances and what could happen to them. I actually know people who would have been flattered by his advances. However on the other hand, I was concerned about my safety as well. I was concerned that this person may only get a warning and I would have had to watch my back the remainder of the cruise. There is really no easy answer to this. It's easy to say just report it and now I understand the importance of that. But during the time this happened, I apparently wasn't thinking clearly. My thought was 'what would happen if he knew I reported him'. I truly felt I would have had to watch my back.

 

I'm glad my 'choice words' caused him to back. If he hadn't backed off, I'm pretty sure I would have felt more pressed to report it. Although I didn't handle this the way I should have while onboard, I'm glad my posting this gave you a heads up to talk with your daughters about this type of thing. And believe me, if I'm ever faced with this type of situation again, I will certainly report it right then and there. Your unsolicited advice is well taken.

[letscruisegd]

Do the word's "GREEN CARD" come to mind...or is it just me!

....you are cruising...assumption: you must have money

....you are North American....assumption: land of opportunity

....you are travelling alone....assumption: you have to be lonely

therefore, assumption: I am cute to look at...I speak with a cute accent, I like you...please take me home with you!

 

I can understand why she didn't report him, as she hoped he would just go away...she was afraid he might cause her grief, and why should she have to hide for the rest of her cruise...if he could get her personal info on board, did he have her home info as well? If he was thrown off the ship in USA, after losing his job, would he look her up there too? Put yourself in her shoes...but after she rejected his advances I'm sure he just moved on to find some other unsuspecting cruiser eager for his advances in his never ending vigil for the holy grail... the much coveted "green card."

You hit the nail right on the head. The bad part is he probably did find someone eager for his advances.

[wavecruiser]

Wow, I'm completely shocked to read that a crew member would actually go through the computer system to find a passenger's info and then call the cabin. To the OP and everyone else who experienced this, thank goodness it did not progress to something more serious.

I have had similar experiences with "friendly" crew, although I've never had problems with anyone calling my cabin or inappropriate touching. I live by the rule that crew members aren't allowed to fraternize with passengers. On my last cruise, I declined an invitation to meet an asst. waiter up on the Lido deck after he got off. I asked him straight up if he was allowed to do this, and he said yes if he was not working. Umm..yeah...

[halos]

Although I didn't handle this the way I should have while onboard, I'm glad my posting this gave you a heads up to talk with your daughters about this type of thing. And believe me, if I'm ever faced with this type of situation again, I will certainly report it right then and there. Your unsolicited advice is well taken.

 

Thanks for posting this...

I'm sure that if this had happened to me, (without CC) I'd have reacted the same as you. Some people just like to avoid trouble/arguments, I'm one of those people...BUT after reading your story and posts from other people on here, I'd most likely report the incident immediately if it would happen now. That's why this board is great, you learn a lot. So thank you very much for putting this out in the open.

I'll make sure to inform my daughters as well.

[LHP]

For me the reluctance was due to feeling like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand I felt I should have reported it because I thought about the possibility of him trying this with someone who welcomed his advances and what could happen to them. I actually know people who would have been flattered by his advances. However on the other hand, I was concerned about my safety as well. I was concerned that this person may only get a warning and I would have had to watch my back the remainder of the cruise. There is really no easy answer to this. It's easy to say just report it and now I understand the importance of that. But during the time this happened, I apparently wasn't thinking clearly. My thought was 'what would happen if he knew I reported him'. I truly felt I would have had to watch my back.

 

I'm glad my 'choice words' caused him to back. If he hadn't backed off, I'm pretty sure I would have felt more pressed to report it. Although I didn't handle this the way I should have while onboard, I'm glad my posting this gave you a heads up to talk with your daughters about this type of thing. And believe me, if I'm ever faced with this type of situation again, I will certainly report it right then and there. Your unsolicited advice is well taken.

 

I know the first reaction is "geez, why didn't you report the guy?" But I have to think back about Ross and he (and his wifes) encounter on the a Radisson cruise. If you have never been to his website and read this encounter, you should. Because it clearly shows not only what "can" happen, but what did happen. You need to react the same way you would react in a foreign country. I think we Americans get comfortable with our "rights" here in the good ole US and forget that those don't apply everywhere in the world. Regardless of how "Americanized" (if that is a word) we are used to our cruises being....those ships are not controlled by American law.

 

Everyone has to do what they feel is right at the time. And while it is nice to "arm chair" quarterback about what someone should or should not have done...until you are put smack in that position...it is still a theory.

[letscruisegd]

I know the first reaction is "geez, why didn't you report the guy?" But I have to think back about Ross and he (and his wifes) encounter on the a Radisson cruise. If you have never been to his website and read this encounter, you should. Because it clearly shows not only what "can" happen, but what did happen. You need to react the same way you would react in a foreign country. I think we Americans get comfortable with our "rights" here in the good ole US and forget that those don't apply everywhere in the world. Regardless of how "Americanized" (if that is a word) we are used to our cruises being....those ships are not controlled by American law.

 

Everyone has to do what they feel is right at the time. And while it is nice to "arm chair" quarterback about what someone should or should not have done...until you are put smack in that position...it is still a theory.

Would you happen to have a link to his website?

[letscruisegd]

I know the first reaction is "geez, why didn't you report the guy?" But I have to think back about Ross and he (and his wifes) encounter on the a Radisson cruise. If you have never been to his website and read this encounter, you should. Because it clearly shows not only what "can" happen, but what did happen. You need to react the same way you would react in a foreign country. I think we Americans get comfortable with our "rights" here in the good ole US and forget that those don't apply everywhere in the world. Regardless of how "Americanized" (if that is a word) we are used to our cruises being....those ships are not controlled by American law.

 

Everyone has to do what they feel is right at the time. And while it is nice to "arm chair" quarterback about what someone should or should not have done...until you are put smack in that position...it is still a theory.

Would you happen to have a link to his website?

[mskita]

I had a similar incident on a cruise where two crew members were making advances towards me. However, my mother and BROTHER, were with me. So, I didn't receive any phones calls or sly touching. But if I had been touched, they would have said "I didn't know you knew Tae Kwon Do". It would have been to late for them then.:cool:

[ImBossy]

I had a similiar experience on my second RCCL cruise. The wine steward for our table stared at me the entire dinner the first night of the cruise. When I got back to my room later that evening, the phone rang and it was him which really freaked me out. I told him I did not think it was appropriate for him to call my stateroom and if he called again, there would be a problem.

 

I was cruising with my mom and grandma so I told them both what had happened. Later that evening I went up to the Lido deck for some air and there he was. I had no clue my grandma happened to be in the same area after leaving the casino. Well, the wine steward came up to me and started telling me how beautiful I was and all this crap and put his hand on my shoulder.

 

My grandma appears from behind a pole and snaps a picture. Needless to say, we were both in shock. He excused himself and fled toward the elevators. The next morning my grandma and I went to the purser's desk and filed a complaint. My grandma demanded that they develop the film and pay for it so they would have proof. None of us saw the wine steward for the rest of cruise.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to make light of the issue but to this day, my family jokes about this incident. It definitely gave us a story to tell after we got back from the cruise :)

 

Jennifer

 

 

It may be the same man. Maybe he switched companies/cruiselines.

[ImBossy]

Do the word's "GREEN CARD" come to mind...or is it just me!

....you are cruising...assumption: you must have money

....you are North American....assumption: land of opportunity

....you are travelling alone....assumption: you have to be lonely

therefore, assumption: I am cute to look at...I speak with a cute accent, I like you...please take me home with you!

 

I can understand why she didn't report him, as she hoped he would just go away...she was afraid he might cause her grief, and why should she have to hide for the rest of her cruise...if he could get her personal info on board, did he have her home info as well? If he was thrown off the ship in USA, after losing his job, would he look her up there too? Put yourself in her shoes...but after she rejected his advances I'm sure he just moved on to find some other unsuspecting cruiser eager for his advances in his never ending vigil for the holy grail... the much coveted "green card."

 

..and telling CCL now would be fruitless, the time to report him was before leaving the ship...besides CCL already knows, as it is common knowledge they troll the thread.

 

 

You are so silly...a green card...lolol Do the men really do that? I would expect that from a woman.

 

OK, on the serious side, chastising her is not helping matters. She is an adult and can make her own decisions, even if they are mistakes or not in other folks opinion, they are hers. I wish she had reported it but who the heck is remembering all those foreign names. Maybe she could have told her friends dad and let him get all gruffy about it with the pursers. Sometimes if you curse them out they will back off a lot quicker. Just practice, "You NEED to GET OUT OF MY FACE, NOW!" :mad: Then roll your eyes at him. If they think or know you can kick their butt or if you get loud and draw attention, they will find a new interest. Make sure you tell somebody as a safety net.

[aimila21]

To the OP-

 

I just wanted to thank you for posting your experience on the board. I am sorry that you had to go through such a scary and uncomfortable event. I'm a twenty something female going to be traveling with one of my girlfriends, so after reading your posts and the others' who have had similar experiences, I am definitely going to be more careful on my next cruise. I'm actually a little shocked at how people seem to be attacking YOU for not handling the situation the way they think you should have, rather than THANKING you for sharing such an unpleasant event just for the sake of helping others. You didn't have to post your situation, but you did. THANK YOU!! The information will be put to good use:) .

[Wennfred]

This was actually my main reason for not reporting it. This happened on the first night of the cruise and I didn't know if the ship would do anything. .

 

Other than this incident, my cruise was wonderful (I already posted a review).

 

I would of took it a step further and requested to talk to the Head of Security at the Pursers Office and if they wouldn't comply, I would then ask to speak to the Captain, this would of got things rolling. I'm sure the Security has tapes of these calls for their own protection, especially if it came from the Dining room, It does show in the computer that a call was made from those places. Why would someone call a cabin from the Dining room? Actions would of been taken. This guy is a Sexual Predator, and since you felt totally uncomfortable you were Sexually Harassed. These people need to be reported so that other cruisers could be protected, who knows how many people he has harassed since your cruise.

 

I still think you should write Carnival with this. Who knows if this person already has 2 complaints behind his belt, yours would surely get him fired and life would be good for the rest of us.

 

Fred

[morriscats]

Something like that happened to my 15 year old granddaughter. She was up on deck with her new friend, also 15. A Security Guard approached both girls and started telling them that "he was their destiny". They listened to him tell of his own daughter, back in India. They also grew very umcomfortable. My granddaughter faked a cell phone call (like it works out to sea) and they left. My granddaughter was staying in our cabin. That night I was in our stateroom and received a phone call from someone with a very thick accent, saying something about destiny and meeting him. I told him to take a flying leap off the ship. We did not report it as we were getting off the ship the next day. I did write a detailed report to Carnival - 1 week later Annette Meizner went missing from the same ship. Never heard a word from Carnival about this incident.

[LHP]

Would you happen to have a link to his website?

 

I will try. I am not very good at this....computer challenged and all that.

This is a "recap". I read the full report somewhere...and am having a difficult time finding it. I will continue to look.

 

http://www.cruisejunkie.com/rssc.html

 

Hope it works. If not, you can always copy and paste to the URL.

[LittleBit]

I'm a father of two teen girls and would like to know that if they were approached by anyone and felt uncomfortable that they would tell us or someone.

 

Just as an aside to the topic- Do your girls KNOW what to do/what to say if they receive an unwanted advance? Have you actually talked to them about it? It may not be a comfortable conversation (and it's not just ONE conversation) but you need to make sure you've talked with them about different situations. If they were made to feel uncomfortable by someone do you really KNOW they would tell you?

 

And at what point do you report someone? Is an offensive remark reason enough? Is it actual touching, is it just that they made you feel "icky or dirty"?

 

We think our kids are so savy - they've seen the TV movies, the news stories, the special reports, and they seem so much more aware of the world than we were at thir age, but they really aren't. They still willingly go off into dangerous situations thinking "they're different, nothing bad will happen to them."

 

I'm not slamming you - I want your kids to be safe. When I was a kid an adult kissed me in a way he shouldn't have... 32 years later, it still nags at me (I still remember his name and the things he said). I teach martial arts to kids (I hold the rank of 2nd degree black in two styles) and you would be amazed at how unprepared our children are for unwanted advances and how unwilling they are to say anything to an adult. We had one boy we permanantly expelled because he was tormenting some of the smaller kids in class (but never when we were actually in session so we never saw it) - the smaller students wouldn't tell anyone what was happening even when we explained that we had to know in order to report him to the organization (to make sure he could not take any class there). Another boy had been suffering abuse by his cousin outside of class but wouldn't rat him out because his cousin's house was the only place he could go afterschool while hismother was working.

 

It's a sad truth - kids don't tell. And most adults won't either.

It's important that we learn that words hurt as much as actions. We need to teach our chidren (and ourselves) how to make a better world for all of us

 

(stepping off my soapbox now, back to your regularly scheduled disscussions on booze smuggling and whatnots...)

[LHP]

Just as an aside to the topic- Do your girls KNOW what to do/what to say if they receive an unwanted advance? Have you actually talked to them about it? It may not be a comfortable conversation (and it's not just ONE conversation) but you need to make sure you've talked with them about different situations. If they were made to feel uncomfortable by someone do you really KNOW they would tell you?

 

And at what point do you report someone? Is an offensive remark reason enough? Is it actual touching, is it just that they made you feel "icky or dirty"?

 

We think our kids are so savy - they've seen the TV movies, the news stories, the special reports, and they seem so much more aware of the world than we were at thir age, but they really aren't. They still willingly go off into dangerous situations thinking "they're different, nothing bad will happen to them."

 

I'm not slamming you - I want your kids to be safe. When I was a kid an adult kissed me in a way he shouldn't have... 32 years later, it still nags at me (I still remember his name and the things he said). I teach martial arts to kids (I hold the rank of 2nd degree black in two styles) and you would be amazed at how unprepared our children are for unwanted advances and how unwilling they are to say anything to an adult. We had one boy we permanantly expelled because he was tormenting some of the smaller kids in class (but never when we were actually in session so we never saw it) - the smaller students wouldn't tell anyone what was happening even when we explained that we had to know in order to report him to the organization (to make sure he could not take any class there). Another boy had been suffering abuse by his cousin outside of class but wouldn't rat him out because his cousin's house was the only place he could go afterschool while hismother was working.

 

It's a sad truth - kids don't tell. And most adults won't either.

It's important that we learn that words hurt as much as actions. We need to teach our chidren (and ourselves) how to make a better world for all of us

 

(stepping off my soapbox now, back to your regularly scheduled disscussions on booze smuggling and whatnots...)

 

Good advice. As the survivor of a kidnapping attempt, I can tell you that years of training in Shotokan made the difference in ways that would surprise folks. It was far more mental control than physical control. It is all about being prepared!

[letscruisegd]

aimila21 - You're welcome. Thank you for your kind words. Hopefully my posting this will cause people to be more aware of the types of things that could happen while cruising.

 

wavecruiser - I'm grateful that it didn't progress into anything more serious. I've had many conversations with 'friendly crew' and never had any issues like this. I didn't even talk to this guy prior to him calling my room. He had no reason to think I was interested in spending time with him.

 

LHP - Thank you for the link. It worked.

[letscruisegd]

On the recommendations from some of the responses to my post, I decided to write Carnival concerning this issue I experienced on the Sensation. I finally received a response from Carnival a couple of days ago. In my letter to them I made a point to let them know outside of the safety concern, I had a wonderful cruise and received excellent service. I wanted the staff who took such good care of me to be recognized for being so attentive.

 

Here is part of the response I received concerning the incident:

While we trust you enjoyed your cruise vacation, we were very concerned about the issue you brought to our attention regarding the behavior of the crew member cited in your comments. We sincerely apologize for any inappropriate behavior exhibited by one of our staff members. We make it very clear to all employees that any inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated and can result in disciplinary action, including immediate termination. We assure you that the corrective measures will be taken regarding this situation.

 

I realize some people may feel this is part of a standard form letter and not think much of it and that’s okay. Did Carnival actually reprimand the person who crossed the line with me? I don’t know. Hopefully they did something about it. At least they recognized this is an issue and responded to me with an apology and reassurance that they make it clear to their staff members that this behavior is unacceptable. I couldn’t expect anything more in their response since I didn’t report it when it happened. This was certainly a learning experience and if I’m ever faced with something like this again, I won’t hesitate to report it right away.

 

On a positive note...I'm finally a platinum cruiser. I'm looking forward to all the perks on my next cruise in January:).

[sotadragon]

I'm so glad Carnival responded to your letter! :) I hope they really did take action of some kind with the crew member who harassed you. I'm sorry it happened to you, but I'm glad you learned something and that you posted about it so others could learn from your experience. Thank you for that.

 

And congrats on reaching platinum status! :D