Safety Concern: Issue I Experienced on Sensation

[letscruisegd]

I debated on whether or not I should post this but I decided to go ahead and post as a way to inform young ladies onboard to be careful when approached by crew member; especially when it’s uninvited. I usually have conversations with crew members (both male and female) and there’s one I met about 2 ½ years ago who still keeps in touch to this day. So some are simply being nice and are not up to anything. I know sometimes passengers flirt with crew members as well as crew members flirt with passengers but what this guy did was out of line.

Here’s my story. I was in the dining room and noticed one of the servers somewhat staring at me. When I noticed this he smiled and nodded his head as if to say hello. Trying not to be rude, I nodded my head to speak back to him. I saw him looking at me several times during the meal and I would just look away and continue my meal. When I was getting ready to leave the dining room he was standing near me and smiled at me again as I was leaving. I didn’t think anything of it; I thought it was just another crew member trying to get a playmate for the weekend. Later on that evening I stopped in my room for a few minutes before heading out to enjoy the evening events. Right as I was getting ready to leave my room the phone rang. I was cruising with a friend and her dad so when the phone rang I just assumed it was my friend. When I answered it was a male’s voice with an accent so it was clearly not my friends dad. He said my name and I ask who he was and he said a secret admirer. I told him I don’t play secret admirer games and he needed to tell me who he was. I look much younger than I am so maybe he didn’t realize he was dealing with a mature adult and not a younger person who may be taken by the secret admirer thing more easily. He proceeded to tell me he was the server in the dining room who smiled at me. I of course then asked him how he got my name and room number and this is the part that concerned me. It concerned me mainly because I was in a room alone. Even when I choose to talk to people onboard I don’t give them my room number. He stated he got my room number out of the computer system based on my table number. I didn't realize crew members had access to this information. I was at the table with my friend and her dad who share the same last name and a married couple who of course share the same last name. He figured out my name based on the fact that I was the only single one there. He proceeded to try and continue a conversation by telling me how special I am to him and of course my thing was “you don’t know me so there’s no way I can be special to you”. At that point I hung up. My phone rang the following morning and again I thought it was my friend I was traveling with. I was wrong…it was the dining room server again. I hung up and didn’t answer my phone anymore that morning. Later that day I was on the lido deck and felt someone touch me. Yes you guess it; it was him and I had a few choice words for him. After that he didn’t bother me anymore.

The reason I chose to post this is because if he tried to throw on the charm with someone who might be flattered by the attention and choose to spend time with him, they may get into something they can’t handle. Anyone who would look a woman up the way he did and be bold enough to call the room with the so called charming talk and put his hands on me in a place as full of people as the lido deck certainly couldn’t be trusted behind closed doors. I realized after the fact that I probably should have reported it but since I didn’t, I thought I would give a heads up on cc just to warn young ladies to be careful and take the same safety precautions onboard just like you would anywhere else.

[EngIceDave]

Let's ask the obvious....

 

Did you report the server to the ship's staff/mgmt?

[silentbob007]

I hope you informed the Maitre D, hotel director, and/or the purser's desk about this crew member ... especially with advances made after a NO.

[Cotton]

That would have been upsetting to me, as well, but unlike you, I would most definitely have reported it to the purser.

[Cotton]

dadgum double posting......Aaaarrrgh.

[LSU Traveler]

Did you report this to anyone on board? Did this happen early in the cruise? Reporting this would seem to be justified just in case the need for further action was needed! And may still be the thing to do to avoid this person doing it again to someone else!

[Stircrzy]

No...she didn't report this incident, as she states in her post.

 

Unwanted advances by staff or crew should be immediately reported to the proper department as soon as they happen.

[LHP]

Glad you posted this on here. Just another reminder that ships are still small floating towns and one has to be "aware" and "in charge" of their surroundings all the time.

[LHP]

dadgum double posting......Aaaarrrgh.

 

 

"silly glitchy forum" ..... remember!!

[LHP]

No...she didn't report this incident, as she states in her post.

 

Unwanted advances by staff or crew should be immediately reported to the proper department as soon as they happen.

 

Personally, I would have definately reported it...but I am not certain I would have done so until the end of the cruise.

 

1. You are stuck on this ship with a person who has "access" to your personal information

2. There is no guarantee that the cruise ship will do anything about it.

 

So while I would have reported him....I would have done it on the last day of the cruise and told them why I waited.

[mercedes355]

I had a similiar experience on my second RCCL cruise. The wine steward for our table stared at me the entire dinner the first night of the cruise. When I got back to my room later that evening, the phone rang and it was him which really freaked me out. I told him I did not think it was appropriate for him to call my stateroom and if he called again, there would be a problem.

 

I was cruising with my mom and grandma so I told them both what had happened. Later that evening I went up to the Lido deck for some air and there he was. I had no clue my grandma happened to be in the same area after leaving the casino. Well, the wine steward came up to me and started telling me how beautiful I was and all this crap and put his hand on my shoulder.

 

My grandma appears from behind a pole and snaps a picture. Needless to say, we were both in shock. He excused himself and fled toward the elevators. The next morning my grandma and I went to the purser's desk and filed a complaint. My grandma demanded that they develop the film and pay for it so they would have proof. None of us saw the wine steward for the rest of cruise.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to make light of the issue but to this day, my family jokes about this incident. It definitely gave us a story to tell after we got back from the cruise :)

 

Jennifer

[letscruisegd]

Personally, I would have definately reported it...but I am not certain I would have done so until the end of the cruise.

 

1. You are stuck on this ship with a person who has "access" to your personal information

2. There is no guarantee that the cruise ship will do anything about it.

 

So while I would have reported him....I would have done it on the last day of the cruise and told them why I waited.

This was actually my main reason for not reporting it. This happened on the first night of the cruise and I didn't know if the ship would do anything. I didn't think to report it at the end but that would have been the best thing to do. I'll know to do that now if I happen to have anymore uncomfortable situations happen.

 

Other than this incident, my cruise was wonderful (I already posted a review).

[Stircrzy]

Personally, I would have definately reported it...but I am not certain I would have done so until the end of the cruise.

 

1. You are stuck on this ship with a person who has "access" to your personal information

2. There is no guarantee that the cruise ship will do anything about it.

 

So while I would have reported him....I would have done it on the last day of the cruise and told them why I waited.

 

Since you quoted my post, I'll respond:

 

I stand by my previous answer. Harassment should be immediately reported...on land or sea.

 

1. The person already has access to your personal information, or they couldn't have contacted you in the first place.

 

2. Even if the proper department doesn't do anything about it, you have reported the event(s) so that if anything further happens there is documentation that the initial event was reported. (I personally would turn in my initial report to the purser's desk IN WRITING, and save a copy for myself.)

[GoinCruisin]

I definitely would have reported it!! I would also do so at home... being on a cruise ship doesn't give anyone additional rights. Perhaps the next person won't handle it so well, and then what?? If anyone ever feels threatened or put in a bad position like this, PLEASE, if out of nothing but concern for future passengers, PLEASE say something. It's a deterrant just to know that he was turned in, regardless of if anything was done.

[LHP]

Since you quoted my post, I'll respond:

 

I stand by my previous answer. Harassment should be immediately reported...on land or sea.

 

1. The person already has access to your personal information, or they couldn't have contacted you in the first place.

 

2. Even if the proper department doesn't do anything about it, you have reported the event(s) so that if anything further happens there is documentation that the initial event was reported. (I personally would turn in my initial report to the purser's desk IN WRITING, and save a copy for myself.)

 

True...however, there is a difference between someone having your personal information and someone having personal information with a grudge (and "friends" on board). So I can certainly understand someone's hesitation and waiting until the last day of the cruise.

[Cotton]

LHP - I don't agree with that. As I said earlier, I would definitely have reported it - and immediately! What if that same jerk hit on someone more naive`, and something bad happened on that same cruise? It should be stopped THEN, not at the end of the cruise.

 

Worried about retaliation from him or friends? I can't see worrying about that...I won't allow things like that to pass. The guy probably would have been relieved of his duties, and at the least been severly reprimanded.

[LHP]

LHP - I don't agree with that. As I said earlier, I would definitely have reported it - and immediately! What if that same jerk hit on someone more naive`, and something bad happened on that same cruise? It should be stopped THEN, not at the end of the cruise.

 

Worried about retaliation from him or friends? I can't see worrying about that...I won't allow things like that to pass. The guy probably would have been relieved of his duties, and at the least been severly reprimanded.

 

Well, I am just trying to understand someone's point of view that is more demure than I am. Personally, I would have taken him out at the knees....but not everyone is comfortable with that.

[GoinCruisin]

Well, I am just trying to understand someone's point of view that is more demure than I am. Personally, I would have taken him out at the knees....but not everyone is comfortable with that.

 

Well in this day and age, as a woman, if there are some that AREN'T comfortable with that, they need to learn to be comfortable with that :D

[thomasale]

LHP - I don't agree with that. As I said earlier, I would definitely have reported it - and immediately! What if that same jerk hit on someone more naive`, and something bad happened on that same cruise? It should be stopped THEN, not at the end of the cruise.

 

Worried about retaliation from him or friends? I can't see worrying about that...I won't allow things like that to pass. The guy probably would have been relieved of his duties, and at the least been severly reprimanded.

 

I agree with LHP on this one. On a cruise ship you have to take personal responsibility for your OWN safety. You aren't in Kansas anymore and you are far from the kind of justice we have here. I would have reported it on the way off the ship...just me

[mercedes355]

Letcruisegd-

 

I am really sorry that this happened to you. After rereading my post, I realized it does sound like I am trying to make light of the issue and it is a serious concern that women face on cruises.

 

I think women should definitely be aware of this issue and I'm glad you brought it up. If I hadn't dealt with similiar situations in the past, I probably wouldn't have reacted as strongly as I did. There are a lot of young women who are somewhat naive who could be cornered by these Casanova types and get themselves in a bad situation.

 

I wanted to apologize and say I'm glad you didn't let this experience ruin your cruise.

[GoinCruisin]

I agree with LHP on this one. On a cruise ship you have to take personal responsibility for your OWN safety. You aren't in Kansas anymore and you are far from the kind of justice we have here. I would have reported it on the way off the ship...just me

 

What would have had to have happened in order to make it serious enough to comment on?? Stalking (which it sounds like was done)? Inappropriate touching or groping? Rape?? How far are we willing to let things go??

[winewanderer]

I had a similar experience, many years ago though when I was single and much younger. I was travelling alone. The server at my table also called my room, several times. I told him I had no interest in him and to leave me alone.

 

The head waiter got wind of this (not by me) and one night at dinner pulled me aside and said servers are not to fratinize (sp?) with guests. He reported the assistant to the maitre'd. After that he did leave me alone.

 

I was far more naive then. Today I would absolutely report this person.

[BlueHerons]

I had a similiar experience on my second RCCL cruise. The wine steward for our table stared at me the entire dinner the first night of the cruise. When I got back to my room later that evening, the phone rang and it was him which really freaked me out. I told him I did not think it was appropriate for him to call my stateroom and if he called again, there would be a problem.

 

I was cruising with my mom and grandma so I told them both what had happened. Later that evening I went up to the Lido deck for some air and there he was. I had no clue my grandma happened to be in the same area after leaving the casino. Well, the wine steward came up to me and started telling me how beautiful I was and all this crap and put his hand on my shoulder.

 

My grandma appears from behind a pole and snaps a picture. Needless to say, we were both in shock. He excused himself and fled toward the elevators. The next morning my grandma and I went to the purser's desk and filed a complaint. My grandma demanded that they develop the film and pay for it so they would have proof. None of us saw the wine steward for the rest of cruise.

 

Anyway, I'm not trying to make light of the issue but to this day, my family jokes about this incident. It definitely gave us a story to tell after we got back from the cruise :)

 

Jennifer

 

Excellent response and no, you aren't making light of the situation.

 

No means no.

[Katz A Prowl]

Well in this day and age, as a woman, if there are some that AREN'T comfortable with that, they need to learn to be comfortable with that :D

 

Not being comfortable with that method is why they should have reported it right away. If they know you have placed a complaint then they are less likely to bother you. If you say nothing they could harasse you for the entire cruise thinking you are too afraid to complain. Worse....they may actually do something bad to someone else and with no prior complaints against them get away with it.

[beaming90]

I know that it is over, but can't you turn it in now? I would think getting that info to the cruise line, whether they do anything or not, would be good. Maybe that is crazy...But, I would think it was worth doing. :rolleyes: