How are Gay Couples treated on Straight cruises?

[5stargen]

i think a general rule for all couples (straight/gay) would be to level off the PDA at some point.

[shepp]

i think a general rule for all couples (straight/gay) would be to level off the PDA at some point.

 

And would you care to tell us precisely and definitively just what that point might be?

[HappySeaGoer]

We aren't much for PDA when we travel but I would say, if you think it may offend someone, then probably best to save it for inside your own cabin. ;)

 

The last thing I would want is to have my vacation spoiled because I simply wanted to give my better half a quick cuddle/kiss and have some intolerant cruiser create a stain on your cruise experience/memory. Save it for the cabin, the kiss and cuddle will last longer! :D

 

I don't like it with straight couples "go at it" in public areas let alone gay/lesbian couples. Maybe I'm a prude but I am paying for a cruise, not to watch some couple sticking their tongues down each others throats and grabbing each others bits while sitting around the pool. :p

 

There is something called "tasteful behaviour" for everyone regardless if your gay/straight or whatever! :o

[kennetro]

Amen Happy Sea Goer!!

[AriesLV]

Sad but true. I have gone on two cruises with my partner' date=' both with our parents, and while we went to the FOD events, we were the only women there. Here is to hoping we aren't unicorns on the Caribbean Princess on 3/16/08! While I love gay boys (my best friend is a gay guy who has been like a brother to me since we met 10 years ago) it seems that a lot of gay guys are not receptive to lesbians. Before you flame me, I'm not saying ALL of them, just some of them. So when you are the only girl there or you head over and see there aren't many or any girls there, it is not always easy to join the FOD group. Though I would like to point out when we did, we found all the guys to be fun and sweet...just trying to point out why other girls may not join in the fun.:rolleyes:[/quote']

 

My partner and I will be with you on the CB in March - and while it's been a while since we've been called "boys," we're glad to know there will be some family aboard (just teasing about the 'boys' reference!!). From what you say, at least it'll be easy to recognize you!

[HappySeaGoer]

Hey Kennetro, I must have been "preaching to the choir" was I? :)

[shepp]

We aren't much for PDA when we travel but I would say, if you think it may offend someone, then probably best to save it for inside your own cabin. ;)

 

The last thing I would want is to have my vacation spoiled because I simply wanted to give my better half a quick cuddle/kiss and have some intolerant cruiser create a stain on your cruise experience/memory. Save it for the cabin, the kiss and cuddle will last longer! :D

 

I don't like it with straight couples "go at it" in public areas let alone gay/lesbian couples. Maybe I'm a prude but I am paying for a cruise, not to watch some couple sticking their tongues down each others throats and grabbing each others bits while sitting around the pool. :p

 

There is something called "tasteful behaviour" for everyone regardless if your gay/straight or whatever! :o

 

Well, here's my problem with that: I don't think anyone would regard a straight couple sharing a quick cuddle and a kiss as "tasteless." So what we're really talking about here is conflict avoidance, right? That and a double standard?

 

And my rather snarky question before (about where to draw the line) is for real. When my honey and I slow-danced on the Dawn Princess, there might well have been someone aboard who found that "offensive," even shocking. Do we not dance because of that? Do I not refer to him as "my partner" because someone at my dinner table might be a stone 'phobe who'll give us attitude? In other words, where do we build closets, and why?

 

Yeah, I'm an anti-prude. I (shockingly) would have no problem with a straight couple making out on the Lido - I'd be more grossed out by a morbidly obese woman in stretch pants or a guy wearing a "Jesus is the only way to Heaven" T-shirt. But hey, if you don't want to watch love or lust or whatever in bloom, then I'd suggest the same thing I'd say to someone who didn't want to watch me and my partner foxtrot: Look the other way.

[HappySeaGoer]

Then Shepp, I get your point but then you have to decide what your comfortable with.

 

If your comfortable being the center of attention while your dancing because the majority of your fellow dancers will not be same sex couples -some of who may have an issue with watching two men tango together - but if you don't care then power to you.

 

Not all of us want to be bulls in china shops.

 

We would rather be customers first.

[Schplinky]

 

Not all of us want to be bulls in china shops.

 

We would rather be customers first.

 

 

I don't think it's an either/or proposition. My partner and I dance in the disco and take walks on the deck together, introduce ourselves as a couple, etc. At the same time, I certainly hope we treat it with as much ambivalence as we hope to receive from our fellow passengers. There are a great number of degrees to which one lives an openly proud life but presuming that your sexuality is the first concern of the rest of the passengers is a bit presumptive. We have been seated with conservatives, liberals and everything in between and through it all, we've always had perfectly intelligent conversations by being ourselves. I think a far more miserable experience would be trying to blend in and just seeming like everyone else.

 

Pride is not just a parade in the springtime, after all.

[shepp]

If your comfortable being the center of attention while your dancing because the majority of your fellow dancers will not be same sex couples -some of who may have an issue with watching two men tango together - but if you don't care then power to you.

 

Well, honestly, I'm not all that sure that we were the center of attention - maybe because it was a sailing from San Francisco, not the Bible Belt. I think that most people took one look and went back to their business...either dancing or quaffing cheap champagne. And I believe that one reason we seemed so unremarkable is that so many other people over the last few decades have been visibly queer, too.

 

I do wish we knew how to tango, though.

[shepp]

There are a great number of degrees to which one lives an openly proud life but presuming that your sexuality is the first concern of the rest of the passengers is a bit presumptive.

 

While I agree with what you say, I think it's germane to note that sexuality - heterosexuality, that is - permeates plenty of shipboard life. It's just that it's the water we swim in, and therefore not seen. Whether it's The Newlywed Game, a couple celebrating their 50th, a singles mixer, a wedding in the Princess Chapel, a show featuring (putatively) straight couples dancing to love songs, a comedian making jokes about her boyfriend, or a guy introducing his wife and kids, it's all about (hetero)sexuality, no?

 

And we're all supposed to be interested in that.

[HappySeaGoer]

Whatever makes you happy is all that matters. :)

[Wineguys]

While I agree with what you say, I think it's germane to note that sexuality - heterosexuality, that is - permeates plenty of shipboard life. It's just that it's the water we swim in, and therefore not seen. Whether it's The Newlywed Game, a couple celebrating their 50th, a singles mixer, a wedding in the Princess Chapel, a show featuring (putatively) straight couples dancing to love songs, a comedian making jokes about her boyfriend, or a guy introducing his wife and kids, it's all about (hetero)sexuality, no?

 

And we're all supposed to be interested in that.

 

No, but damning the "morbidly obese woman in stretch pants" or the "guy wearing the Jesus is the only way to Heaven t-shirt" makes you sound like a pretty shallow guy, n'est pas? Live and let live should be your policy and ignore the rest, even if YOU don't approve of THEM. That "moribidly obese woman" could be a hoot and a big supporter. Not all (ok most, but not all) Jesus freaks hate us. There are about 7 or 8 of them that like us. LOL!

 

We had one bad experience on our first HAL cruise at a 6-top with 2 elderly Bible Belters who disappeared on night 2. We sat there for the next 2 nights by ourselves, until our Wine Steward noticed it and asked us if we wanted to be moved, which he arranged. We were moved to a nice table with delightful Dutch and English passengers. When we decided to take the plunge a year ago and start cruising again, I was literally a wreck. We booked a suite on Celebrity, ended up at a fabulous table which seemed to be handpicked for us, a gay butler and the most wonderful cruise ever. Every cruise since has been great, with the best dinner companions anyone could ask for.

 

HAL was a little sparse with the FOD meetings (2 on a 7 day, maybe 3 on a 14 night Holiday cruise, Celebrity had none on its Holiday cruise, but they were almost every night on the TA).

 

Our next cruise is the Millenium Transcanal and then Silversea for the holidays, I think. I am bit concerned about Silversea.....

[Schplinky]

While I agree with what you say, I think it's germane to note that sexuality - heterosexuality, that is - permeates plenty of shipboard life. It's just that it's the water we swim in, and therefore not seen. Whether it's The Newlywed Game, a couple celebrating their 50th, a singles mixer, a wedding in the Princess Chapel, a show featuring (putatively) straight couples dancing to love songs, a comedian making jokes about her boyfriend, or a guy introducing his wife and kids, it's all about (hetero)sexuality, no?

 

And we're all supposed to be interested in that.

 

Yeah, I guess it just seems more black and white to you than me.

 

I think cruises are inherently romantic and you've just given a lot of examples of how they are. My relationship is just another example of that and I don't have whatever impulse it is that seems to make this situation such a we/they scenario for some. We were on a cruise last year with 200 gay men and 300 praise and worship fans. Neither World War III nor armageddon ensued. I still maintain that the people the most obsessed with your sexuality is you.

[shepp]

Yeah, I guess it just seems more black and white to you than me.

 

I think cruises are inherently romantic and you've just given a lot of examples of how they are. My relationship is just another example of that and I don't have whatever impulse it is that seems to make this situation such a we/they scenario for some. We were on a cruise last year with 200 gay men and 300 praise and worship fans. Neither World War III nor armageddon ensued. I still maintain that the people the most obsessed with your sexuality is you.

 

 

Actually, I think we're saying the same thing - that the best path is to just be yourself, adhering to the same standards as het cruisers, neither more nor less strict. And that the sky won't fall if you give your boyfriend a romantic little kiss on the Lido. How, after all, can we get beyond the we/they thing if we let fear of the "they" dictate what "we" do?

 

It's a pity, though, that the Rapture didn't take place while you were on that cruise. So many suddenly vacant staterooms, so many opportunities for an upgrade. ;)

[shepp]

No, but damning the "morbidly obese woman in stretch pants" or the "guy wearing the Jesus is the only way to Heaven t-shirt" makes you sound like a pretty shallow guy, n'est pas? Live and let live should be your policy and ignore the rest, even if YOU don't approve of THEM. That "moribidly obese woman" could be a hoot and a big supporter. Not all (ok most, but not all) Jesus freaks hate us. There are about 7 or 8 of them that like us. LOL!

 

Well, some of my best friends are morbidly obese, but I'm confident they'd manage to shun unflattering styles when in social situations. And no, I don't think that "You're going to Hell and I'm not" is a suitable fashion statement.

 

Shallow? Darling, what's the use of being a queer man if you can't pose as an arbiter of fashion? And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch "Project Runway."

[cruizinwithkids]

Well, here's my problem with that: I don't think anyone would regard a straight couple sharing a quick cuddle and a kiss as "tasteless." So what we're really talking about here is conflict avoidance, right? That and a double standard?

 

Straight female here. I'm really not into PDA. Don't know what you mean but quick cuddle and a kiss. I'm pretty much OK with a quick kiss and no cuddle. I don't care what the make up of the couple is.

 

So if we should ever meet on a cruise ship and you and your partner are enjoying a quick cuddle, don't feel bad when I roll my eyes.

[Schplinky]

Actually, I think we're saying the same thing - that the best path is to just be yourself, adhering to the same standards as het cruisers, neither more nor less strict. And that the sky won't fall if you give your boyfriend a romantic little kiss on the Lido. How, after all, can we get beyond the we/they thing if we let fear of the "they" dictate what "we" do?

 

It's a pity, though, that the Rapture didn't take place while you were on that cruise. So many suddenly vacant staterooms, so many opportunities for an upgrade. ;)

 

 

I agree that we need to get past the we/they place but your constant attempts at disparaging people of faith is about as likely to do that as their t-shirts are to do it for you.

 

I need a cruise.

[emjsea]

"The last thing I would want is to have my vacation spoiled because I simply wanted to give my better half a quick cuddle/kiss and have some intolerant cruiser create a stain on your cruise experience/memory. Save it for the cabin, the kiss and cuddle will last longer!

 

I don't like it with straight couples "go at it" in public areas let alone gay/lesbian couples. Maybe I'm a prude but I am paying for a cruise, not to watch some couple sticking their tongues down each others throats and grabbing each others bits while sitting around the pool."

 

I think it's sad that you equate my holding my boyfriend's hand or giving him an affectionate kiss to people sticking their tongues down each others throats and grabbing each others bits. It's even more sad that you write that you find same sex couples "going at it" to be more distasteful than straight couples going at it. And, before you deny that's the case, that's what "let alone" indicates and implies.

[shepp]

I agree that we need to get past the we/they place but your constant attempts at disparaging people of faith is about as likely to do that as their t-shirts are to do it for you.

 

"Constant" attempts? Hmmm...I certainly don't recall doing that. After all, I ain't Christopher Hitchens. Perhaps you could cite chapter and verse?

 

People of faith - from Tom Cruise to the Dalai Lama - certainly have a right to believe whatever they want to. But when someone publicly states that, unlike them, I'm going to burn in eternal torture because they've found the Truth and I haven't, I believe that the we/they thing is pretty much already in play, no?

 

And as far as the empty stateroom joke? I'm not the one who smugly rides around with a bumper sticker that reads "In case of the Rapture, this car will be driverless."

[Schplinky]

"Constant" attempts? Hmmm...I certainly don't recall doing that. After all, I ain't Christopher Hitchens. Perhaps you could cite chapter and verse?

 

People of faith - from Tom Cruise to the Dalai Lama - certainly have a right to believe whatever they want to. But when someone publicly states that, unlike them, I'm going to burn in eternal torture because they've found the Truth and I haven't, I believe that the we/they thing is pretty much already in play, no?

 

And as far as the empty stateroom joke? I'm not the one who smugly rides around with a bumper sticker that reads "In case of the Rapture, this car will be driverless."

 

I think your email pretty well answers itself but in the case that it doesn't:

 

Yeah, I'm an anti-prude. I (shockingly) would have no problem with a straight couple making out on the Lido - I'd be more grossed out by a morbidly obese woman in stretch pants or a guy wearing a "Jesus is the only way to Heaven" T-shirt.

 

maybe because it was a sailing from San Francisco, not the Bible Belt..

 

And no, I don't think that "You're going to Hell and I'm not" is a suitable fashion statement.

[shepp]

I think your email pretty well answers itself but in the case that it doesn't:

 

 

Well, I'm sorry, but none of what you've quoted "disparages," in general, "people of faith." Two of those three quotes go back to my very specific point that I, personally, am more offended by some dude in a "You're damned, and I'm not" proselytizing T-shirt than by the sight of two people, of whatever genders, kissing. Or are we to assume that "God told me to" makes one immune to criticism? (Hey, in that case, I had a revelation that God wants me to wear jeans on formal night.)

 

And the Bible Belt? Dude, if you don't think that the Bible Belt (which is, as commonly used, a matter of geography, not theology) is home to more openly expressed homophobia than San Francisco, I'd commend to your attention an excellent documentary currently on Showtime, "Small Town Gay Bar." (In all fairness, though, the port of Galveston is apparently a nicely gay-friendly place.)

 

OK, this is veering perilously off-topic. I'm done.

[Schplinky]

My point (and I thought I had one) was that angry name-calling on either side of the divide is unlikely to help but I guess I wasn't articulate enough.

[shepp]

Straight female here. I'm really not into PDA. Don't know what you mean but quick cuddle and a kiss. I'm pretty much OK with a quick kiss and no cuddle. I don't care what the make up of the couple is.

 

So if we should ever meet on a cruise ship and you and your partner are enjoying a quick cuddle, don't feel bad when I roll my eyes.

 

So if you saw a couple hugging each other onboard, you'd roll your eyes? I'm presuming from your SN you're, or have been, married. You and your hubby never put your arms around each other in public? OK, your choice. I'm just honestly curious why you find it objectionable when others do.

[cruizinwithkids]

So if you saw a couple hugging each other onboard, you'd roll your eyes? I'm presuming from your SN you're, or have been, married. You and your hubby never put your arms around each other in public? OK, your choice. I'm just honestly curious why you find it objectionable when others do.

 

I think it's just the definition of cuddle - just a quick look at an online dictionary -

 

verb (used with object)

1.to hold close in an affectionate manner; hug tenderly; fondle.

 

2.to lie close and snug; nestle.

 

3.to curl up in going to sleep.

 

Again it's degrees for me.

 

In the movie the Wedding Singer, there is a conversation about kissing during the wedding ceremony and what is appropriate "church tongue." I personally don't care where the wedding is, I don't think tongue kissing is appropriate wedding behavior.

 

I'm sure I'm drawing a very fine line that I can't explain, but walking hand in hand or with arms around each other is not MY definition of cuddling. Sitting with arms around each other in a casually affectionate way is also not cuddling.

 

Anyway, this was just the "recently" posted to thread this morning when I was on line. I did not read the whole thing, but just wanted to make the comment that it's not necessarily the "who" but the "what" that can draw the negative reaction.