How are Gay Couples treated on Straight cruises?

[shepp]

 

I'm sure I'm drawing a very fine line that I can't explain, but walking hand in hand or with arms around each other is not MY definition of cuddling. Sitting with arms around each other in a casually affectionate way is also not cuddling.

 

Gotcha. Thanks for taking the time to explain.

[HappySeaGoer]

"let alone" was a matter of words, no hidden meaning.

[Wineguys]

"Constant" attempts? Hmmm...I certainly don't recall doing that. After all, I ain't Christopher Hitchens. Perhaps you could cite chapter and verse?

 

......

 

And as far as the empty stateroom joke? I'm not the one who smugly rides around with a bumper sticker that reads "In case of the Rapture, this car will be driverless."

 

Ok, now I've decided you're too intelligent and sarcastic to be offensive. I now dub thee "hilariuosly sardonic" and I now "get it." But listen honey, Hell is NOT eternal burning damnation ... its just a cocktail lounge that looks an awful lot like the Piano Bar on a HAL Vista class, except crowded, full of smoke and with no casino outside to escape to...and FULL of evangenical christian ministers!!!! ;)

[shepp]

I now dub thee "hilariuosly sardonic"

 

Thanks. It's always nice to be dubbed.

 

And actually, if there is an afterlife, I'm hoping that the supreme being is an awful lot like Agnes Moorehead.

[5:00_Somewhere]

I'm clearly coming late to this particular party-within-a-party, so I won't comment on the topic du jure (or would that be, du yester-jure.) ;)

 

I will, however, saw that I think Wineguys' avatar is Fabulous! :D

[seadancer]

Hey Shepp

 

I caught said movie this weekend. A very interesting movie and glimpse into the lifestyle. As a straight person i found it very interesting. Sad in some parts and encouraging in others.. Living in Orlando, Fla this movie shows me just how far we've come in some places and are failing in others. Oh well we keep fighting for equality one mind at a time.

 

 

seeyaaa

Jeff

 

I also second Wineguys avatar woooohoooo

[Fly2Work]

Hey Guys!

You will not stand out at all in my honest opinion, especially, on Liberty of the Seas. My partner and I have always met other couples at sea and RC and their staff are amazing. This past November we were seated in the main dining room with a straight couple and two elderly sisters. When out of nowhere - the head waiter and our entire wait staff came out with a cake singing Happy Anniversary. Needless to say, at first we were expecting our tablemates to jump overboard. All of the tables around us were singing and clapping for us. It really made our night even more special. Our table guests were very gracious and yes, they continued to show up for dinner the following days. I have noticed that RC and their staff do not act indifferent to us as a couple and have upgraded our state room more than once for no apparent reason. We had no idea that the Crown and Anchor people really paid attention to the anniversary dates of gay couples, however, the cake read Happy Anniversary Adam & Larry. We just act ourselves and like other people have posted - straight people have a blast with us gays. Especially, during Disco night and the adult game RC plays called The Quest. I personally understand your concern as I felt the exact same our first cruise.

Have a wonderful time!

[txflyer]

Hey Guys!

I have noticed that RC and their staff do not act indifferent to us as a couple and have upgraded our state room more than once for no apparent reason. We had no idea that the Crown and Anchor people really paid attention to the anniversary dates of gay couples, however, the cake read Happy Anniversary Adam & Larry.

 

Larry J ???? OMG our paths have not crossed in years!

 

That is so cool about the cake...it really gives you a special memory. Thanks for sharing the story.

[HappySeaGoer]

Thanks for sharing Fly2work! that story brought a smile to my face! :D

[lemursf]

"Jour" is spelled "Jour", not "jure". It comes from the French word "day". Just in case anyone was curious.

[donaldsc]

My guess is that you will have exactly the same problems (or lack, thereof) as you do on land.

 

Some people do not like gays and will behave badly regardless of where they are. For most of us, we do not care.

 

DON

[SeaMatesNYC]

My boyfriend and I just returned (last week) from 11 nights on the Noordam. It was a very welcoming environment with two exceptions. The first being that on the second night at dinner, when several parties who requested to be reseated met at the table, couple number two immediately stood up when my boyfriend and I sat down. We were tastefully dressed in formal attire and had not even said a word. Fortunate for us, the remaining couple, who were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, ended up being the most delightful dinner companions (other than my sweet) I can recall in all my cruising. Madame even wrote an Ode to us (at least 12 stanzas long!) that she presented to us on the last night with souvenir (gold trimmed!) Noordam coffee mugs.

 

The second unfortunate aspect was, surprisingly, the hostility of certain among the other gay men on board who were angry that we did not attend any of the FOD gatherings. Literally, one of them screamed at me in the disco and accused me of being a NYC gay snob. I quietly explained that we meant no offense by not attending, but that we had other things going on at the time, and did not realize that attendance was mandatory. I do value the chance to get together with other LGBT people on board when the timing fits. I will chalk that bad experience up to this particular gentleman's being drunk beyond reason and having lost all self control.

 

In general, I have found that many, many straight (or maybe not) people on board ship go out of their way to be friendly and make conversation. I sometimes feel as if I am part of the "cruise experience" for people who may have a son, daughter, cousin, etc. who is gay, but whom they really do not have the chance/courage to get to know and for whom I can serve as a quasi-surrogate. Kind of like getting up close to the animals at the game park!

 

On more than one occasion I have been asked if I was an entertainer on board (or maybe it was "part of the entertainment"!). I try not to go out of my way to signal my "gayness" but if you see a man walking across the deck with a pareo (sarong, etc) tied around his waist and that sends you a clue, then so be it.

 

In general I would say that the wives and singles will be the most open to getting to know you (if you want) and that the husbands will generally tolerate, but not engage. Or maybe they are just habituated to letting the wives do all the talking! In any case, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT respond to any of the teens on board even if they approach you. You will not be looked upon kindly and may even have a late night posse come after you.

 

Finally, the crew! I guess it really depends from line to line and ship to ship, but I have universally found them to be the most amazingly supportive and kind people. I am particularly amazed on HAL where you have the majority from an extremely Catholic (Phillippines) and extremely Muslim (Indonesian) country. We received so many origami presents from the barstaff addressed to both of us that we had to leave some onboard. Maybe it is just doing a good job of smoozing potential tippers, but it always seems from the heart to me.

 

Whatever you choose to do, do it with pride and don't do anything (in public) you wouldn't want you mother to know about!

 

Happy sailing!

[txflyer]

In general, I have found that many, many straight (or maybe not) people on board ship go out of their way to be friendly and make conversation. I sometimes feel as if I am part of the "cruise experience" for people who may have a son, daughter, cousin, etc. who is gay, but whom they really do not have the chance/courage to get to know and for whom I can serve as a quasi-surrogate. Kind of like getting up close to the animals at the game park!

 

Youre so correct. This reminds me of this past September when we were on the Crown Princess. It was formal night and everyone was waiting for the Captain to speak in the atrium. A woman in a wheelchair was next to us by the rail and strikes up a conversation with us. "I bet you guys would have alot more fun on a cruise with people your own age," she asked in a sort of inquisitive statement. (The ship did seem to have a higher age demographic, maybe because it was a Canada/New England itinerary)

 

I responded, "well no, not really...we are really having a good time and everyone is very fun and friendly." The conversation continued with small talk about the ports.

 

She eventually said, "well our son does some 'different' cruises...they are 'gay' cruises...there are two different ones they do, but I cant remember the name of them."

 

We looked at her and said "oh, you mean Atlantis and RSVP?" She said, "oh yes, thats it...they always have really good time....have you ever done that?"

 

We said "weve not done one of those but would like to try it sometime"

 

I guess it was her way of confirming that we had something in common with her son and to find a common ground for conversation. We continued to talk to her until the Captain started to speak.

[lemursf]

My partner have been on 5 straight cruises and never really had any problem, though we still worry. My partner is afraid we wont like anyone at our dining table and we will need to change, and I am afraid that they wont like us and they will want to change. So I am always petrified going to our dining room table for the first time. Despite these fears, we never had a straight cruise where anyone knowingly left the table due to us being gay or where anyone was unfriendly. In fact, at most of the tables, we were the best conversationalists. If someone can afford to be on a cruise, usually they have decent incomes and are more educated, so seeing gay people is not a shocker for them. Most cruises skew towards the older crowd and many over 50 straight types are pretty clueless anyway when it comes to gay stuff (my partner and I are 55 and 62, so perhaps we blend in with all the other middle aged people)

 

Actually the worst table mates we had were on the one gay cruise we were on (in 1992). We were at a table for 8. The other 6 knew each other from before so were sort of outsiders, but not too big a deal. But one couple the older guy was a drunk and his partner was an anti-Semite (from Oklahomo).

 

So just because you are with gay people, it doesnt make it better. Yes, on a gay cruise, you wont be fag-bashed, but there are plenty of other types of judging that go on with gay cruises (looks, age, clothes, attitude, etc).

 

My partner refuses to go on any more gay cruises because of some of these issues, but I am game for that. But bottom line, I would not worry too much (We are going on a straight cruise in a week thru the Panama Canal with open dining seating so that worries me potentially having to meet new straight people every day at dinner, but my worries never seem to pan out. Actually, I was just as worried meeting tablemates on our gay cruise as well.)

[BigAl_7]

The second unfortunate aspect was, surprisingly, the hostility of certain among the other gay men on board who were angry that we did not attend any of the FOD gatherings. Literally, one of them screamed at me in the disco and accused me of being a NYC gay snob. I quietly explained that we meant no offense by not attending, but that we had other things going on at the time, and did not realize that attendance was mandatory. I do value the chance to get together with other LGBT people on board when the timing fits. I will chalk that bad experience up to this particular gentleman's being drunk beyond reason and having lost all self control.

 

Wow, I never thought about it that way. The other guys that we have seen on cruises where our gaydar went off on, might have been upset that we didn't show up at a FOD. Our first cruise on RCCL we never saw a FOD party advertised. Our second cruise was a two week round trip to Alaska on the Sun Princess and we heard that the CD was one of the few that refused to host a FOD party. But, on both cruises we were both a little reluctant to approach the other guys thinking, what if we were wrong about our gaydar? We might insult the guys and certainly didn't want to do that. I'm hoping that our next cruise we'll get a chance to attend one of the FOD gathering, but I read recently that Princess doesn't put it in the paper, but they are posted on the bulletin board that is usually near the library.

 

As for our dinners, all of our cruises have been with my family. So we have a table for 8, Mom, Dad, my sister, BIL, niece, and nephew. So, we haven't dealt with any problems from the table mates at all, and all the staff have been wonderful.

 

That one CD, who we heard about on Princess before we even boarded, we just didn't worry about requesting a FOD and enjoyed our time. I really can't think of a better way to vacation than a cruise. In general, I have to agree that everyone on a cruise tends to be relaxing and it's usually much more of a live and let live environment than you might see almost anywhere else. (with the possible exception of Gay Day at Disney)

[jmraggs]

My partner have been on 5 straight cruises and never really had any problem, though we still worry. My partner is afraid we wont like anyone at our dining table and we will need to change, and I am afraid that they wont like us and they will want to change. So I am always petrified going to our dining room table for the first time. Despite these fears, we never had a straight cruise where anyone knowingly left the table due to us being gay or where anyone was unfriendly. In fact, at most of the tables, we were the best conversationalists. If someone can afford to be on a cruise, usually they have decent incomes and are more educated, so seeing gay people is not a shocker for them. Most cruises skew towards the older crowd and many over 50 straight types are pretty clueless anyway when it comes to gay stuff (my partner and I are 55 and 62, so perhaps we blend in with all the other middle aged people)

 

Actually the worst table mates we had were on the one gay cruise we were on (in 1992). We were at a table for 8. The other 6 knew each other from before so were sort of outsiders, but not too big a deal. But one couple the older guy was a drunk and his partner was an anti-Semite (from Oklahomo).

 

So just because you are with gay people, it doesnt make it better. Yes, on a gay cruise, you wont be fag-bashed, but there are plenty of other types of judging that go on with gay cruises (looks, age, clothes, attitude, etc).

 

My partner refuses to go on any more gay cruises because of some of these issues, but I am game for that. But bottom line, I would not worry too much (We are going on a straight cruise in a week thru the Panama Canal with open dining seating so that worries me potentially having to meet new straight people every day at dinner, but my worries never seem to pan out. Actually, I was just as worried meeting tablemates on our gay cruise as well.)

 

I could not have said it better! We have always cruised on "straight" cruises because of this reason. I am 46 and my partner is 41 and we only had one time where someone didn't seem comfortable with us in the 18 cruises on RCL that we have had. It doesn't bother me since my attitude is that it's their problem and not mine. Life is too short to worry about someone elses reaction to us, and if they move to another table, let them go as it would probably turn into a more enjoyable situation anyway for everyone.

 

I am welcoming to anyone (age,race, straight :D etc.) as I just enjoy talking with nice people. I look at a gay cruise as being filled with the gays I have been in contact with in South Florida, no thanks!. Canada was a totally different experience and the gays we came in contact with were great and welcoming.

 

We have a blast on "straight" cruises and will continue to sail on RCL for years to come. We have met some really nice people (including gays) on these ships and still keep in contact with them.

[jmraggs]

My boyfriend and I just returned (last week) from 11 nights on the Noordam. It was a very welcoming environment with two exceptions. The first being that on the second night at dinner, when several parties who requested to be reseated met at the table, couple number two immediately stood up when my boyfriend and I sat down. We were tastefully dressed in formal attire and had not even said a word. Fortunate for us, the remaining couple, who were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, ended up being the most delightful dinner companions (other than my sweet) I can recall in all my cruising. Madame even wrote an Ode to us (at least 12 stanzas long!) that she presented to us on the last night with souvenir (gold trimmed!) Noordam coffee mugs.

 

The second unfortunate aspect was, surprisingly, the hostility of certain among the other gay men on board who were angry that we did not attend any of the FOD gatherings. Literally, one of them screamed at me in the disco and accused me of being a NYC gay snob. I quietly explained that we meant no offense by not attending, but that we had other things going on at the time, and did not realize that attendance was mandatory. I do value the chance to get together with other LGBT people on board when the timing fits. I will chalk that bad experience up to this particular gentleman's being drunk beyond reason and having lost all self control.

 

In general, I have found that many, many straight (or maybe not) people on board ship go out of their way to be friendly and make conversation. I sometimes feel as if I am part of the "cruise experience" for people who may have a son, daughter, cousin, etc. who is gay, but whom they really do not have the chance/courage to get to know and for whom I can serve as a quasi-surrogate. Kind of like getting up close to the animals at the game park!

 

On more than one occasion I have been asked if I was an entertainer on board (or maybe it was "part of the entertainment"!). I try not to go out of my way to signal my "gayness" but if you see a man walking across the deck with a pareo (sarong, etc) tied around his waist and that sends you a clue, then so be it.

 

In general I would say that the wives and singles will be the most open to getting to know you (if you want) and that the husbands will generally tolerate, but not engage. Or maybe they are just habituated to letting the wives do all the talking! In any case, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT respond to any of the teens on board even if they approach you. You will not be looked upon kindly and may even have a late night posse come after you.

 

Finally, the crew! I guess it really depends from line to line and ship to ship, but I have universally found them to be the most amazingly supportive and kind people. I am particularly amazed on HAL where you have the majority from an extremely Catholic (Phillippines) and extremely Muslim (Indonesian) country. We received so many origami presents from the barstaff addressed to both of us that we had to leave some onboard. Maybe it is just doing a good job of smoozing potential tippers, but it always seems from the heart to me.

 

Whatever you choose to do, do it with pride and don't do anything (in public) you wouldn't want you mother to know about!

 

Happy sailing!

 

Maybe he screamed at you because he thought you were attractive and liked you and was mad you didn't show up:D We always try to show up to FOD meetings just to see who's there, but if we can't make it, we don't worry about it. Once in a while we might meet someone that we click with, but mosts times not. On every sailing we have been on, we usually see more gays on the ship that didn't go to the FOD meeting than did.

[lance32]

We sailed on the Liberty last September on my First cruise, and my friends Fourth cruise. We are not a couple but we are Gay. The only problem we had was an unkind assistant waiter, a women from Homophobic Jamaica, I think. Cruise critic has taught me a lot. Since the Maitre Di gets tipped by you , I would go to him now if this happens on my next cruise on The Liberty's Sister ship, The Freedom of the Seas. With the exception of this women everybody was very kind. As we deal with the public,we chose a table for two, at the late seating which I recommend. The Schooner bar is a very cool Piano Lounge very classy Gay, and gay friendly atmosphere. I believe the Piano player was gay too. Try Chops, and Johnny Rockets they are great. If you need a break from dinner in the Dining room, go the Windjammer Buffett, they had a guitar player, and many entrees from the Dining Room,:) nice change of pace. Have a great Cruise!!

Peace,

Jon P:)

[skf]

Big Al 7...on Crown in Oct.07 the FOD meetings were announced in the Princess Patter. Once was Friends of Dorothy, & the others were something like GLBT.

Steve & Pete

[ATL2LAS]

My partner and I have been on quite a few cruises together and have never encountered a problem. You might want to check the ships paper for a "Friends of Dorothy" social. We attended ones on the Grand Princess last December and met some great folks and had a blast.

[premierhhcare]

My partner and I have been on three cruises over the past 3 years: 2 on RCI and 1 on Carnival. We have not had one single negative experience and truly feel comfortable cruising with a majority straight crowd. It seems to me that the folks who cruise are there to have a good time and don't seem to let anything bother them. We were very nervous on our first cruise, too, and now we really don't even think about it. As a matter of fact, we are getting ready to go on our 4th "straight" cruise next week and are looking forward to meeting some very wonderful and accepting people! Have fun, don't worry and ENJOY your cruise!!

 

Dave and David (together for 11 years in our 40s)

Albuquerque, NM

[yaletown605]

It seems like most of the stress come from dinner companion assignment. That is why my partner and I usually sail with Princess or NCL because we dine with who we want and when we want. The one time we were with Carnival, we ask to change the table to 2 as soon as we boarded.

 

Because of that, our cruising experience has been fantastic.

 

The issue of dinner companion just isn't gay or straight. Frankly, I don't want to eat with someone that I don't like regardless of any discrimination. The worse is when we have to engage the whole table.

 

We usually end up meeting someone new and we eat with them. But that is out choice not being forced.

 

I think the idea of assign table and assign dining time is a bit antiquated now.

[BigAl_7]

Big Al 7...on Crown in Oct.07 the FOD meetings were announced in the Princess Patter. Once was Friends of Dorothy, & the others were something like GLBT.

Steve & Pete

 

Thanks for the heads up. It's interesting, I read in another thread that Princess had decided to not post any "specialty" groups including "Friends of Bill" meetings and instead to move them to the bulletin board. I bet that a lot of it still depends on the CD and how they want to handle it.

 

Alan

[WehoAtlantis]

We were on the Diamond Princess in January, 08 and the glbt or fod meeting was listed in the Princess Patter. We met some wonderful friends from all over the world that we still keep in contact today. Well I guess it hasn't even been a year yet lol.

 

Mike

[OCLadies]

We normally cruise NCL, which is very G/L friendly, but the last cruise was a quickie weekend Carnival where we were seated at a table for 6. Of course we were the only same sex couple at the table so on the first night when introductions were being made the first 2 couples said "I'm ? and this is my wife ?". When it came our turn I looked at them, smiled and said the same thing. Everyone laughed and from that point on the discussions were open. We had the BEST time ever at dinner and in fact were asked each night to please leave the dinning room so they could clean up and go to bed. LOL. Just be yourselfs and you'll have a great time.