How are Gay Couples treated on Straight cruises?

[keithm]

Well, First off... Hi

 

Ive been on about ten ships or so..with my partner of 20yrs...we are both 46..so we have known each other for awhile..lol we dont really "look" gay.... we arent really into PDA's.. only been on one "gay" cruise which was a med cruise with Alantis...

 

We did get a bunch of hatefull looks and some catcall when we tried to dance together in the disco on the Grand Princess some years ago..enought that it made both of us uncomfortable even though we are "redneck" enough to hold our own...

 

But just last week on the Eclipse even we were surprised when we saw a young 20something gay couple making out in the main pool on the Eclipse. Out in the open..infront of the straights and their kids...

 

I felt two ways about it....

1. Good for them...Not being afraid to show who they are, remembering what it felt like to be "that much in love"

 

2. I kinda felt grossed out by it at he same time, especially when ol' boy started to clearly sport wood in his already skimpy suit...It left nothing to the imagination. I kept waiting and watching to see what would happen, but the ships people said and did nothing, and as far as I know the other passengers didnt do anything either..or maybe they did..and I just didnt hear them...at anyrate it was inappropriate whether they were gay or straight....but nobody caused a scene or beat them up or anything...

 

For what its worth the Eclipse was crawling with same sex couples the week we were onboard....

We both cruise Cunard. we're 57/49. Mty partner at 49 looks like about 30(Asians age so well!)We've never had issues. Only thing I remember was our last cruise, this woman stared at us at the GLBT meetings. she was a few doors down from us. She only seemed to stare at the more "out" ones there. We always exchanged pleasant hellos in the hall way. We had this cute waiter in the Commodore Club. He always handled our meetings with finesse. He was from the Philippines. He really had the hots for my partner.

[huskerc]

For what its worth the Eclipse was crawling with same sex couples the week we were onboard....

We found the same on the Millennium on a 5-night last month.

[Khaalis]

Hello all me and my partner are going on our first cruise march 25 and we were wondering the same thing how we would b treated or made to feel unwelcome,, where we live our lifestyle is very common we bought r house 6 yrs ago in a kinda suburb area and we are the only lesbian couple n our neighborhood that we no of but neither my partner,my self and our children have been treated any different but we mostly keep to ourselves so when I saw this thread I was coirious to see what the replays were since we would be kinda in close counters wit strangers for 7 days lol.. Seems like we shouldn't have any issues..thanks

[tsyl_]

I was on a carnival ship last December and was scheduled to go with my wife and unfortunately she was not able to go so I was going alone for the four days but my friend, a gay man said he would go and since I had already paid for it and it was a great rate I offered it to him at no charge. He was so excited a free cruise and his first one at that.

Once we go to our cabin he was so excited that could not contain himself he grabbed me in a great bear hug (he is six four and I am five three) and swung me around with tears in his eyes just as the cabin stewart walked in. When we got back from dinner the beds where pushed together and when we stopped laughing and taking pictures we explained gently that it was not necessary to put the beds together and then gave him a tip for being so thoughful.

We had a great cruise

[SAABTURBO]

We have never had a problem on the 7 Carnival ships we have been on. In the Grand Cayman a few years ago we did the Stingray City Excursion and the excursion was mostly a Harley Davidson Club and about 10 retired women that wanted a girls day away from the husbands. On the way back from the Excursion the retired ladies asked if we were together/partners and we told them yes. They asked how long we have been together and that if we had a camera that they would take a pic of us. A few of the Harley club members heard us talking and started to chant kiss kiss kiss so we did. When we got back on the ship and ran into the Harley club in the casino they all bought us 3 or 4 rounds of drinks. I guess what I am saying is never judge a book by its cover you might be pleasantly surprised.:)

[cruisinmimiof3]

I am a 43 year old married straight female. I am planning my fourth cruise and am trying to get a single gay friend to go. This board is great for understanding why he night be nervous, I get it now! So thank you!

 

This is what I am understanding, and my thoughts on things. If I had my grandkids and saw some guy in the pool sporting wood, with a male or female, I would suggest they take it someplace private!

 

My hubby does not like cruising so I go with a group of fam and friends. Sometimes 7, 9, 13, it depends. So I share a cabin with single friend of mine. If we do not PDA around the ship, do people think we are together? How should I know, and WHY should I care????? If I see two men together, are they buds, or more???? How should I know and why should I care?

 

Live your life! Enjoy your cruise!! Keep the 'wood' in the cabin, and really who will know? I know you will have an excellent cruise! Just relax and be yourselves!:D

[AttilaTheFun]

I was on a carnival ship last December and was scheduled to go with my wife and unfortunately she was not able to go so I was going alone for the four days but my friend, a gay man said he would go and since I had already paid for it and it was a great rate I offered it to him at no charge. He was so excited a free cruise and his first one at that.

Once we go to our cabin he was so excited that could not contain himself he grabbed me in a great bear hug (he is six four and I am five three) and swung me around with tears in his eyes just as the cabin stewart walked in. When we got back from dinner the beds where pushed together and when we stopped laughing and taking pictures we explained gently that it was not necessary to put the beds together and then gave him a tip for being so thoughful.

We had a great cruise

 

Aw, that was very nice of you! It awesome you were able to introduce him to cruising and that your cabin steward was so open, although a bit misinformed ;)

[keithm]

We have never had a problem on the 7 Carnival ships we have been on. In the Grand Cayman a few years ago we did the Stingray City Excursion and the excursion was mostly a Harley Davidson Club and about 10 retired women that wanted a girls day away from the husbands. On the way back from the Excursion the retired ladies asked if we were together/partners and we told them yes. They asked how long we have been together and that if we had a camera that they would take a pic of us. A few of the Harley club members heard us talking and started to chant kiss kiss kiss so we did. When we got back on the ship and ran into the Harley club in the casino they all bought us 3 or 4 rounds of drinks. I guess what I am saying is never judge a book by its cover you might be pleasantly surprised.:)

Sometimes those "butch" biker groups might be gay..such as "Dreitzen" a gay leather biker group from the Boston area.

[jamessemaj]

Somebody may have noted this already, but gay cruises are gay cruises, and the alternative are not really entirely straight, but mainstream, a mix of all. Better value and to me more enjoyable.

[keithm]

Somebody may have noted this already, but gay cruises are gay cruises, and the alternative are not really entirely straight, but mainstream, a mix of all. Better value and to me more enjoyable.

I just can't figure paying the "overcharge" that we get. i understand it costs to charter a cruise ship, but the much higher prices show someone's making a good profit off us. We've never had issues on Cunard & I know no friends have had issues with their cruiselines. I guess if you want to pay extra just to be around "family" so be it. We'd rather spend the svings on shopping.

[AttilaTheFun]

I just can't figure paying the "overcharge" that we get. i understand it costs to charter a cruise ship, but the much higher prices show someone's making a good profit off us. We've never had issues on Cunard & I know no friends have had issues with their cruiselines. I guess if you want to pay extra just to be around "family" so be it. We'd rather spend the svings on shopping.

 

The charter companies hire their own entertainment and extra staff, which all costs money and yes - they're trying to make a profit because they are a company and not a non-profit. Sme people forget how businesses operate to make money and not just out of the goodness of their hearts.

[jamessemaj]

The charter companies hire their own entertainment and extra staff, which all costs money and yes - they're trying to make a profit because they are a company and not a non-profit. Sme people forget how businesses operate to make money and not just out of the goodness of their hearts.

 

Very good and well, but mainstream cruises have all the goodness I need. I don't know how gay cruises offer better entertainment than a mainstream (note I don't call it straight cruise). Raunchy gay comedians, or unfettered pool side entertainment? I have no idea, since I have never been on a gay cruise, and will continue to wonder about it. To each their own.

[keithm]

Very good and well, but mainstream cruises have all the goodness I need. I don't know how gay cruises offer better entertainment than a mainstream (note I don't call it straight cruise). Raunchy gay comedians, or unfettered pool side entertainment? I have no idea, since I have never been on a gay cruise, and will continue to wonder about it. To each their own.

I have friends that like the "circuit" scene of the gay charters. To those who say it's BS, well, we've seen the videos at Sat. night parties. Too trashy for our taste. Like I've said I'd rather be spending on shopping. A good example here, is going to Ogunquit(Maine)or Ptown for say Memorial Day or other "off" season times. Most of the gay inns charge between 50-75% higher prices. Because of this, we seldom stay at gay inns during off seasons. Why get ripped off just for the privilege of staying at a gay inn. We never could figure that out.

[keithm]

The charter companies hire their own entertainment and extra staff, which all costs money and yes - they're trying to make a profit because they are a company and not a non-profit. Sme people forget how businesses operate to make money and not just out of the goodness of their hearts.

I understand that, but a lot of it is a crock. I remember a few years back when "Atlantis" was really "plugging" this Caribbean island. This even continued after some particularly nasty anti gay violence occurred. I cancelled my subscription to "Out" Magazine after the parent company of Atlantis took them over. It just became an overpriced fashion mag for people who were no longer really members of the mainstream gay community. They take ads for alcohol & tobacco. I know these ads pay a lot, but nothing like being the merchant of death for a community that drinks & smokes far above the average "demographic" group.

[Boytjie]

Out was never owned by Atlantis. PlanetOut owned RSVP for a short time begore Atlantis purchased RSVP from them.

[absolutboy20]

I have a little bit of a problem with the last few posts regarding gay charters and opinions about it being a simple circuit party, raunchy gay comedians, etc, especially as they are being made by people whom have never been on a all-gay charter.

 

I think it's important to note that the night-time dancing events are just one small part of the experience in itself, and that the majority of passengers most likely do not participate in all events, as just like on a straight cruise, not everyone on the cruise is interested in the same activities. Keithm's comment about seeing the pictures from a Saturday night party makes it sound like that's the only thing that happens on the cruise. Quite frankly, on a gay charter, the majority of the time it's just gay people laying out by the pool, eating at the restaurants, going to spa, going on excursions, just like I would imagine a straight cruise would be. But let's face it, your friends probably took pictures from the parties as they are much more entertaining than seeing people just laying out or eating.

 

The way I see a cruise is that it's similar to a Las Vegas style resort. There's a lot to do, laying out by the pool, going shopping, eating at different restaurants, and if you're up to it, going to the dance clubs where crazy things can happen. Not everything is everyone's cup of tea but there are a variety of things to do. To me, what makes a gay cruise special is that there's no need to have the awkward conversation anywhere on the ship about explaining that we are a gay couple. No one cares as we're all in the same boat. So for one week, it's a safe place where I don't really have to worry about being gay at least on the ship.

 

I live fairly close to SF and have been many times to the Castro where it is predominately gay, but I have it say it's a different experience on a cruise where you have the opportunity to share a table with a random stranger and it's kosher (It would quite frankly be a little strange for me to randomly sit at table at a city restaurant with random customers) to meet people from around the country that happen to be gay. I had to say that I met people who just turned 21, to people who were once married and have grandchildren! On a cruise, we have the opportunity to have to get to know random people, gay or straight, but as we live in predominately heterosexual environment, it's not every day we get to hang out with other people who are gay.

 

As other posters may know, I'm not the biggest cheerleader of RSVP or Atlantis. But to state that it's all a circuit party, raunchy gay comedians, is just plain wrong. FYI, the last main stage entertainment on the Atlantis cruise was Idina Menzel and on our RSVP cruise it was Wayne Brady, and Mitchell Gold was a guest speaker who was just featured last week on CBS's Sunday Morning. Is that what is being offered on the regular voyages or what you would call raunchy gay comedians?

[oceanbound22]

I never worry about how I will be treated or viewed by straight passengers. It is my money. I go where I want and when I want. Period.

[jamessemaj]

I was just offering my opinion as to value and also that I don't think of mainstream cruises as "straight".

 

I am happy that the gay cruise option is available for those who are more comfortable with that format.

[RandB_Toronto]

We've been on both and are comfortable on both. Our first gay cruise was with Atlantis on the Mediterranean in 1994. Absolutely loved it!! We are not "bar" or "club" guys at all. But there was nothing "raunchy" about that cruise or the next one on the Danube with RSVP. They were actually quite sedate -- just "fun" because of the common values. We met several couples with whom we are still very good friends.

 

Mind you, we've never been on one of the massive Caribbean cruises and although I suspect we would not enjoy those, I would not comment because I just don't know. You have to try to fit the style of a cruise to your own style, and that applies just as much to regular cruises as gay ones. I would never take a Princess cruise to the Caribbean either -- although I do admit that my perception may be completely wrong.

[shepp]

I would never take a Princess cruise to the Caribbean either -- although I do admit that my perception may be completely wrong.

 

Why not? Because you'd feel uncomfortable as a queer (we don't) or because it would seem thoroughly mainstream and middlebrow (it does)? But then, our Eastern Caribbean week on the Grand Princess cost a bit over 400 bucks base price, a quarter (says here) of the lowest Oceania 7-day Caribbean sale fare. You could throw in our upcoming two-week Canal cruise on the Island Princess and it still wouldn't be as much as that $1600+ on Oceania. For that kind of price differential, I'm perfectly happy mixing with the "rabble." ;)

 

I know what you mean, though. Knowing what I know and all other things being equal, I'd always choose Princess over CCL. My loss, maybe.

[keithm]

Out was never owned by Atlantis. PlanetOut owned RSVP for a short time begore Atlantis purchased RSVP from them.

Sorry about that. Planetout bought Out magazine. Once they did the "journalistic" quality went right out the window. The magazine became much more focused on(over priced clothing) and much less on it's writing.

[RandB_Toronto]

Why not? Because you'd feel uncomfortable as a queer (we don't) or because it would seem thoroughly mainstream and middlebrow (it does)? But then, our Eastern Caribbean week on the Grand Princess cost a bit over 400 bucks base price, a quarter (says here) of the lowest Oceania 7-day Caribbean sale fare. You could throw in our upcoming two-week Canal cruise on the Island Princess and it still wouldn't be as much as that $1600+ on Oceania. For that kind of price differential, I'm perfectly happy mixing with the "rabble." ;)

 

As I said, my perception may be completely wrong. But I always think of Princess as very "family" oriented with lots of kids running around. I have nothing against kids, but on a cruise I prefer quiet. We were on a HAL cruise a few years back and my main complaint was there was nowhere quiet to withdraw to -- everywhere had to have some sort of "activity". That's what I like about Oceania (and, of course, it's what some people hate about them!) That and no formal nights -- also very important. And it doesn't hurt that the food is some of the best anywhere. So no, it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable as two gay men -- we've never encountered any problem anywhere with that. As for the price differential, yes I'm aware of that. Different people have different priorities.

[AttilaTheFun]

As I said, my perception may be completely wrong. But I always think of Princess as very "family" oriented with lots of kids running around. I have nothing against kids, but on a cruise I prefer quiet. We were on a HAL cruise a few years back and my main complaint was there was nowhere quiet to withdraw to -- everywhere had to have some sort of "activity". That's what I like about Oceania (and, of course, it's what some people hate about them!) That and no formal nights -- also very important. And it doesn't hurt that the food is some of the best anywhere. So no, it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable as two gay men -- we've never encountered any problem anywhere with that. As for the price differential, yes I'm aware of that. Different people have different priorities.

 

I just got off a Princess cruise 2 weeks ago and saw maybe 5 children the whole time. I think it really depends on what time of year you sale - right before Spring Break and right after school starts seem to be less children. I would say that Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and NCL are the more family-focused lines, although Princess has activities available for children. On our sailing, I'd say the average age was 65 at least though!

[keithm]

As I said, my perception may be completely wrong. But I always think of Princess as very "family" oriented with lots of kids running around. I have nothing against kids, but on a cruise I prefer quiet. We were on a HAL cruise a few years back and my main complaint was there was nowhere quiet to withdraw to -- everywhere had to have some sort of "activity". That's what I like about Oceania (and, of course, it's what some people hate about them!) That and no formal nights -- also very important. And it doesn't hurt that the food is some of the best anywhere. So no, it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable as two gay men -- we've never encountered any problem anywhere with that. As for the price differential, yes I'm aware of that. Different people have different priorities.

We always do Cunard. We find the food excellent. My partner & I are in the food industry

We're real "foodies". I hear that Oceania is getting a top rating for food. Although we enjoy the dressing up on Cunard, the more laid back atmosphere of Oceania sounds better & better. Dressing up is nice, but less nice if you really sweated it up on a Caribbean excursion. On the other lines, the prices might be lower. To get that top food, you then need to pay extra for the "alternative" restaurants. We like to fine dine & the way we do, I think Oceania might be the solution. Got a bit of weight to lose before the next trip next winter.

[shepp]

As I said, my perception may be completely wrong. But I always think of Princess as very "family" oriented with lots of kids running around. I have nothing against kids, but on a cruise I prefer quiet. We were on a HAL cruise a few years back and my main complaint was there was nowhere quiet to withdraw to -- everywhere had to have some sort of "activity". That's what I like about Oceania (and, of course, it's what some people hate about them!) That and no formal nights -- also very important. And it doesn't hurt that the food is some of the best anywhere. So no, it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable as two gay men -- we've never encountered any problem anywhere with that. As for the price differential, yes I'm aware of that. Different people have different priorities.

 

As Attila said, Princess is not known as a "family" line, unlike Disney, RCCL, or NCL with its costumed Shrek running around. It really depends when you cruise and for how long. A week-long during spring break? Lotsa kids. On the Grand last month? Maybe a few dozen sub-teens out of 2000 pax, only one of whom was a crying infant. No one is required to dress for formal nights - easy enough to eat at a specialty restaurant. And it's easy to find a pretty quiet place, whether on the promenade deck, in the Sanctuary, the adult pool, or elsewhere. To echo what you said, some people find Princess too quiet.

 

I'm certainly not trying to talk you into cruising Princess; if you like Oceania, you'd probably find it a big step down. I was just curious, and you've satisfied that. Enjoy your sailings!