How are Gay Couples treated on Straight cruises?

[skf]

Thanks for the heads up. It's interesting, I read in another thread that Princess had decided to not post any "specialty" groups including "Friends of Bill" meetings and instead to move them to the bulletin board. I bet that a lot of it still depends on the CD and how they want to handle it.

 

Alan

I dunno for sure but the Princess Patter contents seems to be probably up to the current CD, & may change upon transfers.

Steve

[MattInFLL]

You know, before ships became floating amusement parks, dinner was a highlight of a day. It was a time of conversation and social interaction. Personally, I think we have become so much more "cocooned" as a society that we have lost the art of conversation. Not everyone got along "back in the day" either, but people could talk around it - the equivalent of the old southern way of saying "How nice," when you mean something completely different. :)

 

Maybe they should install LCD screens in front of each plate with a keyboard that slides out from under the table, and we can all text our way through dinner :)

 

Personally we enjoy the larger tables, and have not had a bad experience yet, and we are open about our status as a couple.

[SanFranCruizer]

My partner and I honeymooned on Celebrity's Infinity back in 2006. We had been together for 6 years and then tied the knot in a huge ceremony in Sonoma at a vineyard. We had no troubles being a gay couple on the ship. We despise PDA's, esp. when straight people do it:rolleyes: Anyway, our first night, we had our dinner at our table for two and when desert time came, all the waiters upstairs came out with a heart shaped chocolate cake and sang "Happy Just Got Married" or something like that. Needless to say, everyone upstairs at late dining knew we were a couple. But here comes the thing; with the exception of one gay couple, most of the other gay couples on the ship shunned us! I mean SHUNNED us. Only at the end of the cruise did the one gay couple who would talk to us explain that the other gay guys were annoyed that we were out enough to have a cake to celebrate our marriage but that we refused to come to the FOD get togethers. They thought we were snobby San Francisco gays. Well, here is the truth: we had no idea what "Friend of Dorothy" meant. Oh, we know now, but we had never heard that expression before. So, our discomfort on our first cruise at being a gay couple didn't come the straight follks but from the other gay couples!

 

Since then, we have sailed several other straight cruises and enjoyed them all. We have never had a problem, though one steward on RCCL kept making up the couch in our suite. I solved that by pulling up the bedding from the couch and throwing it into the hallway (I had asked him not to make the couch twice). After that, he didn't do it again.

[Schplinky]

My partner and I honeymooned on Celebrity's Infinity back in 2006. We had been together for 6 years and then tied the knot in a huge ceremony in Sonoma at a vineyard. We had no troubles being a gay couple on the ship. We despise PDA's, esp. when straight people do it:rolleyes: Anyway, our first night, we had our dinner at our table for two and when desert time came, all the waiters upstairs came out with a heart shaped chocolate cake and sang "Happy Just Got Married" or something like that. Needless to say, everyone upstairs at late dining knew we were a couple. But here comes the thing; with the exception of one gay couple, most of the other gay couples on the ship shunned us! I mean SHUNNED us. Only at the end of the cruise did the one gay couple who would talk to us explain that the other gay guys were annoyed that we were out enough to have a cake to celebrate our marriage but that we refused to come to the FOD get togethers. They thought we were snobby San Francisco gays. Well, here is the truth: we had no idea what "Friend of Dorothy" meant. Oh, we know now, but we had never heard that expression before. So, our discomfort on our first cruise at being a gay couple didn't come the straight follks but from the other gay couples!

 

Great story. If it weren't for Cruise Critic, we would have had no idea what a FOD party was for, either.

[SanFranCruizer]

Great story. If it weren't for Cruise Critic, we would have had no idea what a FOD party was for, either.

 

To be honest, we still didn't really believe FOD meant what it meant after the couple told us. After our trip, I found Cruise Critic, and that is when I realized this was a well-used expression. We kept seeing "Friend of Dorothy" meetings listed in the daily pamphlet thing on Celebrity, but we had no clue. We thought it must be like "Friends of Bill."

[yodaddy1439]

my partner & I have been on a number of "straight" cruises -- I think a lot of it comes down to how comfortable you are as a couple. there are some simple things like having your photo taken (the photographer always tries to get us to pose like we're "buds" - one of our favorite photos is from a straight cruise where we posed like a real couple). We even do the ballroom dancing classes on the cruises and have met some other great couples (mostly straight) doing it. We definitely get a few looks, but the only comments we get are always positive. You'll see all types of people, but the huge majority are there to have a good time and not looking for drama.

 

Have fun :)

[getfuzzy]

You get a look, most of the time, from the other guests, but that is okay. You paid for a vacation just like they did. They hold hands, kiss, snuggle, etc. You can as well. We hold hands, lock arms, kiss, etc. The other guest rarely say anything. If they do, we get how cute it is and they are proud that we are so open. We only cruise Carnival, at this point, and have found it to be open. The cruise director's usually tell us that they think it is just great that we dance at formal nights on stage, etc.

If we do get any flack, it is from the teenagers that just don't know how to handle themselves in social situations. When then have said something, I usually reply with saying something about I appreciate their comment, but they can keep it to themselves.

All of our cruise mates have been great!

[Ken Hoover]

We've been on 10 "straight" cruises in the past. I think on our first cruise my biggest worry was asking to have the twin beds made into one. After that, all was well. We always ask for the biggest table at dinner. You meet more people and blend a little better in a crowd. On our last cruise (the amazon 27 days, on a small ship 700 passengers) we met allot of other gay cruisers. 16 of us actually met for dinner one night in the specialty restaurant. They had to make special arraignments for a table that big. Talk about being the talk of the ship...... that said, we have made friends on all of our cruises (mostly straight). Don't worry about a thing, it gets in way of having fun...... enjoy your trip.

[SanFranCruizer]

Ken,

 

Which ship was this, the Amazon with only 700 passengers? Was it RSSC?

[twickers1]

We went on our first cruise earlier this year on Celebrity. Had the same reservations as yourself. All I have to say....have a GREAT time and be yourselves, you will be suprised at how many straight people are not even bothered. (Although you do get a few stickers) Forget them and have a blast!!!

Sammy

[apollobeach]

In general we are there to have a good time and acted as if the bigots are invisible. We simply realized that like society in general there are bigots.

 

Most of the crew members were very welcoming and open to us as a Gay male couple. The only exception was the crew members who are from India. As has been the case on all of our previous cruises, alot of the crew members who are from India are nasty and act like they do not want to deal with Gays.

 

.ExternalClass .ecxhmmessage P {padding:0px;} .ExternalClass body.ecxhmmessage {font-size:10pt;font-family:Verdana;} Traveling on the Holland America's Zaandam was like sailing on a floating nursing home. On the Holland America's Zaandam, my Partner and I were subjected to unwelcome comments. On day in the buffet restaurant as one of us walked by a table of several women who were looking directly

at one of us, one woman said: "those boys make me sick".

 

My Partner and I have also been subjected to anti-Gay humor during

our Hawaii cruise on the Holland America's Zaandam.

During one of the shows, a performer made an extremely

anti-Gay joke. We complained during the cruise with no results.

When we expressed our concerns to the anti-Gay joke on Holland America's

Zanaadam, the staff member at first simply acted extremely disinterested.

It was extemely embarassing and not something one jokes about!!!

[ThisFemmeKat]

due to the overwelming charge for a lesbian cruises (Olivia Cruise Line) my partner and I have always cruises on mainstream cruise lines.. And when you see us together it is obvious that we are lesbians.. and we act as usual onboard. hand holding, ocassional kisses, romantic photos together.. etc. we have always been treated well by both staff and fellow cruisers.. No worries.. go forth and have a blast.. complete with romantic moments.

[Thegolden]

My partner and I have had no problems at all, even when we went to China for a crusie land deal with Viking river cruises they knew we were together and did not make it a problem at all. Any time we go to Europe we never worry. Then again we do not hold hads in public or kiss in public etc.. We also do not go on the Gay cruises because the rate in much more higer than a "straight" cruise plus I really do not think I can be on a boat with another 3000 gay men.

[High Seas Texan]

My partner and I just got off Holland America's MS Zaandam on a cruice to Hawaii, and we had no problems from anyone. There were some other gay men who we mixed and mingled with, just as we did the straight couples. Everyone just had a good time. Everyone knew we were a couple, and some even joked about how long we had been together (9 years) and outlasting other marriages. Just be yourselves. You will make plenty of new friends. Enjoy!

[DTH-CAC]

My partner and I have been on just one straight cruise and but I must say had a great time, met several gay couples and guys thru here, and later on the ship by attending the friends of Dorothy gatherings. We look forward to our next cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas on September, 18, 2010 out of Fort Lauderdale. If anyone will be on Oasis then, please drop a line.

You should have no worry, be ourselves and have fun!

Darin and Carl

:cool:

[welshcruiser]

Then again we do not hold hads in public or kiss in public etc..

 

I don't really see why we can't show some signs of affection in public, especially on a cruise, even if it is straight. My partner & I do, & as mentioned by others its great to have a proper photo done like all the other couples. Most (but not all) of our recent cruises have been majority British... so heres something that might be controversial...perhaps the British cruisers are more accepting? :cool:

[wotaripper]

Just a question...We are going on our first cruise and are a little concerned about how we will be treated since we are a gay couple and we are going on Liberty of the Seas in September.

Thanks for any help or suggestions..

Jason and Dwight

i think a cruise is the same as anywhere else you go you will find most people are ok and you will get the odd pain . if you have the misfortune to share a table with one ask for a change of table. you would be welcome at mine

[wotaripper]

My partner and I have been on 8 cruises all on RCCL. Only a couple of times have we had anyone with "issues" an old couple at our table on the Brilliance of the seas in the Mediterranean asked to be moved on the first night because "this table is unexceptable" they were just pissy old close minded people. The other four couples (all straight ) were fabulous and we had a great time with them, in fact we still keep in touch with them.

We also on the same cruise met a gay couple from NM whom we just had a blast with, and ended up on the JOTS Transatlantic in April 2007 together (unplanned) and had a blast again. On that same trip my partners parents were with us and they had a great time with all 25 to 30 of the gay people that we befriended!!

in hindsight arent you glad the old couple asked to be moved they could have ruined the whole dinner experience for the whole cruise maybe they felt you would all get on better without them ?

[cubbyhall]

Hey,

 

Last May/June I was on the Norwegian Dawn from NYC to Bermuda for an at sea film festival called Pride of the Ocean. There were several dozen of us folks running around the ship, and no one reported any trouble or anything like that. Everyone had a blast! I'm going again this year.

 

Here are some photos from last year that I posted to facebook:

 

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=258777&id=321497642343

 

Cubby

[apollobeach]

Being an openly Gay couple was a non-issue on the Azamara Journey.:)

[BadSeaLegs]

I am a married, late forties woman and socializing with gay men or women on a cruise or anywhere else is always just as fun as socializing with any other *fun* couple. There are a lot of stick in the mud straight people out there and I would rather be with fun loving folks any day of the week no matter what their sexual preferance!

 

 

I'm so glad you posted this. My partner and I have often noticed that the straight population were more open and friendly than many of the gay folks on the ship. Not sure what the heck that's about but we have had a blast and made some lasting friendships afterward as well.

[rangerrobin]

Ahoy and thank you all for posting! As an OUT and affectionate lesbo couple, I confirmed there would be FOD meet-ups BEFORE I booked. I was nervous about taking a ST8 cruise, but couldn't afford Olivia. This thread has also helped me feel less anxious.

[rnmikey]

Agree that this information has been very useful since we were very hesitant to go on a mainstream cruise. We've always done only RSVP cruises (we actually have one next month) but because of the limited itineraries we decided to try a mainstream cruise. The funny part is that in our daily lives the majority of our friends are married hetero couples so it really won't be anything different. Guess we just needed folks to point out the obvious. Thanks.

[BarryFromBoston]

Just a question...We are going on our first cruise and are a little concerned about how we will be treated since we are a gay couple and we are going on Liberty of the Seas in September.

Thanks for any help or suggestions..

Jason and Dwight

 

Hi, Jason and Dwight. I currently work for Holland America, but I worked RCCL for 10 years. I can tell you that EVERY employee on board has gone through a training session about being sensitive to LGBT concerns (among others). At the end of the session, they must sign an affidavit that they understand the company's policy, and that the company reserves the right to dismiss them, at the first complaint of inappropriateness.

 

Everyone is going to treat you with respect without issue. In the unlikely event that one person makes you even the tiniest bit uncomfortable, note their name on their name tag, and take your complaint right to the main desk (at the end of the Promenade Deck), explain your concern to a purser, and they will be taken to task IMMEDIATELY.

 

Also, one of the ways RCCL unofficially welcomes LGTB travelers is a message board. The cruise director will announce during the Welcome Aboard show where it is located. You can post a "friends of Dorothy" party on the board, inviting others to meet you at 11pm in the disco, for example, at the moving, circular bar. (Gay cruisers are often great tippers, and have been many a cute bartender's BEST friend, so expect smiles and excellent service!)

 

If there are large groups of LGBT cruisers, the cruise director and/or staff may even go so far as to arrange mixers for you, or even go as far as running an LGBT version of The Newleyweds show, and more.

 

But, one thing you DON'T have to worry about on RCCL is raising eyebrows and being treated poorly, even if you spend the day holding hands.

 

Two of my best friends cruise on RCCL at least twice a year, and have never felt uncomfortable. If you were to introduce your partner to the people you're dining with, and get a bad vibe, don't wait, and be unhappy. Go immediately to the maitre d' and explain that you feel your dining companions' behavior towards you is "compromising your vacation experience". He will change you to a different table ASAP. (Remember that little phrase "compromise my vacation experience" should you ever need to complain on a ship. It immediately implies you will reply in kind, when you get that little customer satisfaction survey, at the end of the cruise.)

 

Finally, it's not a STRAIGHT cruise. That's something only gay people who have been on all-gay chartered cruises say! EVERY cruise has gay people aboard, as guests and as staff/crew. Every cruise has at least the predicted worldwide "1 in 10" numbers. It's a cruise. Cruises do not have a sexual preference.

[legaljen1969]

Barry, thanks for posting the bit about it not being a "straight" cruise. I was thinking about the number of cruises I have been on (only 6) and how many times I have ever even thought about whether the people on the ship were gay or straight.

 

To the OP, I understand that a "gay" cruise might pitch itself to a specific demographic and it is a very specific experience tailored to include more "gay friendly" gatherings. However, a cruise line certainly cannot afford to advertise a "straight" cruise since there is no such thing AND it would be terribly discriminatory.

 

I have seen same sex couples traveling together and I never assume whether they are gay or straight. If I saw two men in a cabin together, I would not automatically assume they were gay. They might be. On the other hand, it might be a large group of guys on a bachelor party cruise. And since it is insanely more expensive to cruise as a single passenger having to pay the double occupancy- I can see that same sex companions would bunk in the same cabin WITHOUT being a couple. I mean, most cabins come with twin beds that turn into a single bed.

 

If I see a straight couple go into a room, I don't know if they are married, having an affair, engaged, boyfriend and girlfriend, if they just met up in the bar and decided to go to one's cabin and have a little fun. Maybe they are brother/sister. Maybe father/daughter, mother/son. Who knows? It's not my business. I don't ask.

 

It is unfortunate that some people are closed minded. If you happen to be a gay couple, you are welcome at our table ANY TIME.