How are Gay Couples treated on Straight cruises?

[vulcan500]

Don't worry a bit. I can't imagine anyone causing a scene...I'm a very married straight woman with an early-to-bed DH and I look forward to locating "Friends of Dorothy" to dance and party with late in the evening. Most cruisers seem open-minded and accepting.

[rnmikey]

My partner and I have always traveled on gay cruises and have been considering traveling on a regular cruise since we are limited to itineraries chosen by the gay cruise companies. We are considering a panama canal cruise in 2/09 on the Oosterdam. Since we have traveled on Holland America multi times before on all gay cruises and were treated very well, was just wondering if anyone's had experience with them on main steam cruise? My partner is a bit reluctant to try, but it seemed the crew was exceptionally helpful and friendly and it did not appear forced.

[shepp]

My husband and I also don't openly flaunt our relationship in public, nor conceal it either - that's normality, isn't it? :D

Jane

x

 

Well, of course you don't flaunt it. Nobody accuses straights of "flaunting" their heterosexuality (except in the cases of straight couples who visit gay bars and go to great lengths to establish their hetness, and certain gossiped-about movie stars). I assume you wear wedding rings? Hold hands? Hug on occasion?

 

And that's where I have a bit of trouble. Qu'est-ce que c'est, this "flaunting?" My partner and I holding hands on the promenade deck? Slow-dancing in the atrium? Having an anniversary celebration at dinner? Briefly dry-kissing on the mouth at that celebration?

 

Would any of that be considered "openly flaunting" if a straight couple did it? Do I smell something of a double standard here?

 

I'm really unsure what others consider objectionable PDAs, or even why they object. Sure, face-sucking and dry-humping are beyond the bounds, but to me, there's something weird about people in love restraining themselves from acting affectionate in public. Sorry.

 

"Neither flaunt nor conceal" seems peachy, but IMO, anyone in a largely straight milieu who restrains him/herself from behavior that would be considered unremarkable in a mostly queer environment - or if practiced by straights - is in some sense, concealing...and giving in to homophobia. (Unless, of course, there's an imminent threat of violence involved.)

 

I mean, sure, it's a matter of choice. No one need do something they otherwise wouldn't want to do, just to prove a point. But my honey and I are physically demonstrative folks, and I'll be danged if I won't hold hands with him onboard ship. If that makes some uptight people uncomfortable, that's their problem.

[English Jane]

My comment was a direct quote from the person above - I made it to make the point that sexual preference is immaterial to individual behaviour - it was a statement of support for equality. I'm sorry if you saw it as anything else.

[shepp]

English Jane - Sorry if my post sounded accusatory...it wasn't meant that way. It's more a question to my fellow queers about what they consider "flaunting," and how that stacks up against standard non-"flaunting" hetero behavior.

 

Peace.

[Skyrules]

What is considered normal for a straight couple (eg holding hands or an affectionate kiss on the cheek) out in public, is often considered, rightly or wrongly, to be 'flaunting their sexuality' when it's done by a same sex couple.

 

Just the way of the world unfortunately.

 

I guess my original comment along those lines was just a reflection of that, but was probably worded wrongly on my behalf.

[NYCFOD]

I think they will sometimes have good idea of the nature of the relationship from the booking details they do collect.. Eg two mid 30s males (us an example) with different surnames, living at the same address, paying for the cruise in one payment, and booking a 2 berth cabin with queen configuration is a pretty good indication that we might be a same sex couple.

 

We travel quite extensively (land based holidays as well as cruises) and we've never experienced any problems with hotels etc... We nearlly always get queried 'Oh we have you as a double booking.. Is that right/OK' and never had any problem when we've said yes, that's fine.

 

NYCFOD I see you've travelled on Pacific Sky & Fair Princess, how did you enjoy your crusing down under?? Pacific Sky is my favourite cruise ship (hence my user id) and she was the first ship I cruised on.

 

I really enjoyed both ships. The TSS Fair Princess was very old and showing her age when my then partner and I went on that cruise. The TSS Pacific Sky was much more comfortable and I also enjoyed it. The only thing I didn't like about the ships was the inability to make two lower berths a queen size bed. I was living in Australia at the time, but have since emigrated to the USA.

[Skyrules]

I really enjoyed both ships. The TSS Fair Princess was very old and showing her age when my then partner and I went on that cruise. The TSS Pacific Sky was much more comfortable and I also enjoyed it. The only thing I didn't like about the ships was the inability to make two lower berths a queen size bed. I was living in Australia at the time, but have since emigrated to the USA.

 

 

We didn't have that problem on Pacific Sky as we were travelling in a four berth cabin with our mothers!

[njreo]

My hubby & I will be on the Dec 30th sailing from Miami ... He's giving it to me for a Christmas Present :)

[HALFans]

...I say go and have a good time. Just remember this isn't RSVP or Atlantis but if you can step out to a regular hotel or restaurant then you should do fine on a cruise - and it doesn't matter what cruise line you are on.

 

David

 

Well, I guess there's an exception I'm aware of. For certain itineraries (or maybe CDs) Holland America seems to be reluctant to schedule Friends of Dorothy meetings.

 

On our Ryndam Alaska cruise last year I had to ask repeatedly, and the 1st and only FOD meeting was scheduled the 5th night of a 7 day cruise. Unhosted and in the Crow's Nest competing with some other party. :(

 

Over all though, even on that cruise the PAX were great, and other than the Cruise Staff, we didn't run into anyone who seemed unfriendly or offended by our being a couple.

[Steamed]

:) My partner of 27 years and I prefer Straight cruises, because we don't get involved enough with activities and such, to justify paying a premium to travel Gay. Never have we had a problem on the ship , or at a Port of Call, plus we've met some great Straight cruise companions. You guys will have a great time - BON VOYAGE! - Don

[Bootman4U]

My partner of 35 years and i have been on a number of straight and all-gay cruises. We have never been treated "poorly" especially by the cruise line but here is my take on things.

 

If there are any "problems" they may sotto voce show up at the dining seating...we have occasionally changed tables, not because others were straight (we have many, many straight friends) but because we weren't reall pleased with the overall mix. OTOH i am sure there has been at least one occasion when a straight couple decided to opt out of our large table because of who and what we are. Fine by us and I am sure as a result of their exit everyone THOUGHT they ended up happier.

 

But here's the sad part: in our experience, straight and gay couples share MANY MANY more commonalities than (sometimes) either would care to admit...and that can include child-rearing issues. For some, the desire to maintain a sort of "difference" between gays and straights is all-important.

 

As to the so-called "show of affection' and "in your face" stuff. Hey, my Husbear and i like to hold hands on cruiseds and we do it..on both gay and straight ones. Perhaps it is because we are both big and butch that some folks don;t say much..more likely because they understand and have begun to accept the fact that gay folks have the same emotions and feelings as straight folks.

 

ENJOY your cruise and in the future I suggest you try taking an all-gay one as well. It is not a bunch of drag queens but ordinary folks like you and I...and the absolute freedom to be who and what you are is extraordinary.

[goodapollo]

i have never been treated differently on straight cruises

[ScottToronto]

My partner and I have sailed 10 cruises with Silverseas (Wind, Whisper and Shadow). We have always been treated like royalty, no different then any other guests on the ship. Wouldn't cruise with anyone else.

 

Hats off to Silverseas and their 7 star service!!!

 

Happy Holidays!!!!

 

ScottToronto:)

[p3sgirl]

Do many young (20's) lesbians attend FOD? b

[Schplinky]

Do many young (20's) lesbians attend FOD? b

 

I don't mean to be discouraging but lesbians at FOD parties seem about as common as unicorns.

[txflyer]

Do many young (20's) lesbians attend FOD? b

 

Ive heard there is a really high lesbian turnout for the FOD meetings on Olivia... lol

Seriously, tho, on the mainstream cruises weve experienced, its hit or miss, but weve seen some where as much as 1/3 of those attending were female.

[p3sgirl]

High turnout on Olivia- LOL!!!!

Thanks for the input. I will not be attending. I love you guys but deal with your cruising and whatnot at home with my friends here!!!! Have fun on your upcoming cruises (ship cruising, not checking each other out cruising).

 

Lisa

[bmitchell]

Im going on my first cruise in March. Im going with my best friend from college. I have to say the thing about someone changing tables so they don't have to sit with any gay people makes me chuckle. It simply shows that they are ones with the problem (of course) and obviously not someone you would want to know. Plus they are prob. thinking "we are so much better than them. Yet who is the one with the power in this situation? Its us, the FABULOUS people. After all we wern't the ones who had to move to a diffrent table :D

 

I am looking forward to my cruise!!

[kennetro]

My partner & I have had nothing but positive experiences on so-called "straight" cruises.

 

On the QM2 a couple of years ago, there was a Name That Broadway Show Tune contest. We won it. The next day, there was a Name That Classical Music contest. We won it. By the 3rd day, for the Name That Movie Music contest, we had LOTS of straight couples BEGGING us to be their partners. It was hilarious and even the Cruise Director, acting as emcee, got in on the joke. I simply announced, "It's in our GENES. We can't help it!" A great time was had by all.

 

And yes, our "team" won that last contest as well!

 

People are people, do unto others, and all that.... We've met lots of gay couples on the ships that we still keep up with regularly, but conversely, we have admittedly steered away from a lot of other gay couples, simply due to their behavior on board.

[5:00_Somewhere]

I don't mean to be discouraging but lesbians at FOD parties seem about as common as unicorns.

 

Unfortunately, I'd have to agree that this is my experience, as well. However, on our December 2006 Eastern Caribbean on the Caribbean Princess we had several well-attended LGBT meet-n-greets, and it was about 1/3 women. I think I've posted about that cruise higher up this thread. The more I hear, the more I realize that was truly a remarkable trip, LGBT-wise. :)

[geoherb]

We just got off the Emerald Princess yesterday. We were treated wonderfully by our fellow passengers and the crew.

 

The first day of our cruise, one of the assistant crew directors hosted a party for the gay and lesbian passengers in Adagios (one of the quiet bars on the ship). He brought a couple of bottles of champagne for us. Nine gay men came to the gathering but no women. There was another gathering listed in the newsletter for the second day, but we had something else we wanted to do when it was scheduled.

[HappySeaGoer]

We've been on several cruises together, once with his 80+ plus yr old grandmother (she was a hoot!) and haven't ever experienced any homophobia... except maybe for a cabin steward but he was never rude or

anything, could just sense he was uncomfortable with us.

 

We've never been to an FOD gathering but might try it out if they have one on our cruise in a few weeks time.

 

We are in our late 20's/early 30's so I find we tend to get confused as brothers instead of a couple. We've been together for over 10 years now, and we believe that were there to enjoy a cruise - not to worry about what other people may think.

 

I say "screw them"..if some folks cannot tolerate good people who may be different then they can go "walk the plank" as far as I am concerned.

 

Table assignment can be a issue for us, we always go the dining room as soon as we can to check table size and make alternations if we need too...some times it mean's changing the dining time from main to late or vice versa as we prefer to dine alone but with casual dining options on most ships, we never go hungry!

 

I go with the 10% rule, meaning that it's more likely that being gay, you're not "alone" on any cruise ship whether it's the passengers or crew.

[Waimea'sMom]

I don't mean to be discouraging but lesbians at FOD parties seem about as common as unicorns.

 

Sad but true. I have gone on two cruises with my partner, both with our parents, and while we went to the FOD events, we were the only women there. Here is to hoping we aren't unicorns on the Caribbean Princess on 3/16/08! While I love gay boys (my best friend is a gay guy who has been like a brother to me since we met 10 years ago) it seems that a lot of gay guys are not receptive to lesbians. Before you flame me, I'm not saying ALL of them, just some of them. So when you are the only girl there or you head over and see there aren't many or any girls there, it is not always easy to join the FOD group. Though I would like to point out when we did, we found all the guys to be fun and sweet...just trying to point out why other girls may not join in the fun.:rolleyes:

[bdjam]

Regarding women at the LGBT gatherings, on my Dawn Princess cruise in November, we had three organized gatherings (in seven days) and one we put together ourselves. The percentage of women was about 30%...BUT, there were at least three more lesbian couples on board who didn't come to the gatherings (they were listed in the Patter as LGBT/Rainbow/Friends of Dorothy).

So maybe the number of women coming is now approaching more than the total population of unicorns!