When others want to cruise with you, what do you do?

[sempronialou]

Oy! I knew I shouldn't have posted those phrases here. I knew people would just make fun of it. I was just trying to be helpful. I got them from an etiquette forum and they do work according the people who use them. I'm just sayin', get yourself in a sticky situation, there's something to help you out.

[jpg1747]

If someone wants to go on the same cruise as me, I tell them the basic information and give them the website and/or PVP phone number and let them book it themselves. I'm happy to share my other travel information, but again, they're on their own. If they want to share a table at dinner, that's fine, but otherwise, I cruise solo for a reason.

[vacation luvver]

thanks for the great read, BUT I really think you should resurect the thread after you have been to tell us (me for a start!! LOL!) how it all went........

I intend to!

 

You appear to be old enough to understand the following;

 

1. You can't stop her from going on the cruise

2. You don't have to help her but if you want her to stop you have to tell her.

3. You don't have to associate with her on the cruise (don't stand next to her)

4. You can go on a different cruise and don't let her know.

I agree with you about the first three points, but as to the fourth point, no. I couldn't book a different cruise for my friend and me without telling her. I couldn't do that to her. And I wouldn't book a different cruise for myself and let her stay on the same cruise with Sally and Carol.

 

You apparently don't think too much of Sally. You may not think this is the case but your rants (and that is what they are) makes it clear to an outsider.

Of course I know that I don't think too much of Sally! I've already explained why. She wanted to tag along on the cruise we're taking. She asked me four times to make her flight or cruise reservations. It was like pulling teeth to get her to pay her share of the tax on her restaurant meal, let alone a tip. And there was an incident that I didn't mention.

 

One time, a bunch of us at the gym competed to see who could lose the most weight in a two-month period. The winner would be treated to lunch by the others. Sally didn't want to compete. Absolutely no problem with that. My friend was the winner. The problem with Sally was that she insisted that she wanted to go out to lunch with us, but she didn't want to contribute to the cost of my friend's lunch, because she wasn't in the contest. I said that it would make things difficult. Sally said that she would ask for her own check. That was a viable solution, and my friend was okay with Sally coming along, so I said okay. But Sally never showed up. That was fine with me! But I think it's tacky for someone to tag along to a lunch, the point of which is that someone is being treated by the others, and to say that she isn't going to contribute. Sally would have saved a whole two dollars if she had gone along and not contributed to my friend's lunch.

 

So that's part of my reason for not thinking well of Sally.

 

Oy! I knew I shouldn't have posted those phrases here. I knew people would just make fun of it. I was just trying to be helpful. I got them from an etiquette forum and they do work according the people who use them. I'm just sayin', get yourself in a sticky situation, there's something to help you out.

I know exactly what etiquette forum (it's a "heck" of a forum) you got the bean dip thingie from. I'm sure it works sometime, but it wouldn't have worked this time, because if I had started talking to Sally about bean dip and bean dip recipes, my friend would have wondered what was going on with me, and she would have told Sally the name of the ship and the date of our cruise. The bean dip thingie can work when there isn't anyone else around who can provide the requested information, but there was no way it would have worked in my case.

 

If someone wants to go on the same cruise as me, I tell them the basic information and give them the website and/or PVP phone number and let them book it themselves. I'm happy to share my other travel information, but again, they're on their own. If they want to share a table at dinner, that's fine, but otherwise, I cruise solo for a reason.

That's fine as long as they know that's what's going on. But I had a feeling that Sally thought that the four of us were all going together, and that did not make me happy.

 

I'm so thrilled that the other woman brought up the cruise, leading to Sally saying that we were going together, and me answering that we weren't really going together, it was just that my friend and I had decided to go on a cruise, and that Sally wanted to go, too. So now Sally knows that we won't be joined at the hip on the cruise. Man, I wish I had thought of this months ago. I could have paid someone to bring up the subject of the cruise sooner, and I would have shot down Sally's imaginings that we were all going together sooner, and I would have gotten my peace of mind sooner. Oh well, at least Sally found out before the cruise started.

[momofmeg]

Oy! I knew I shouldn't have posted those phrases here. I knew people would just make fun of it. I was just trying to be helpful. I got them from an etiquette forum and they do work according the people who use them. I'm just sayin', get yourself in a sticky situation, there's something to help you out.

 

I don't think anyone is making fun of your posts in particular-everyone is just funning this silly thread.

[Cruisin_on_th_net]

btw........ what is bean dip LOL :confused: I don't think we have it here in aus :)

[momofmeg]

btw........ what is bean dip LOL :confused: I don't think we have it here in aus :)

 

It is "Tex Mex," (American so- called "Mexican" food) a dip made of either black beans or pinto beans mashed up that is spiced with salsa. You eat it with tortilla chips.

[GlendaleCruiser]

I had two different friends remark at separate times that I am going to the Mediterranean on a cruise and say, "oh, I would love to (go) (do that). I then followed up to say that my friend and I had all our plans mapped out and were hoping to have a wonderful time.

 

I concluded with, "maybe you could go with us sometime in the future".

 

They haven't contacted me about it yet.

[madelinerose]

Wow, and I thought "The Real Housewives of (fill in the blank)" was full of unnecessary drama. :D

 

vacation luvver.....I sincerely believe that you're obsessed with this entire issue now. Fuggetaboutit. Put a period and move on. You've given up your power to this "Sally" person. No one can control you or your cruise unless you allow it.

 

What happened to the word "No"? Period. Done. :eek:

[Cruisin_on_th_net]

thanks momo. I'll have to check it out in the supermarkets and see if we have it :)

[betty215]

Inquiring minds would like to know how it went!!

[vacation luvver]

My friend and I had a great time on the cruise, maybe because we didn't run into Sally and Carol too often.

 

We flew to Seattle on July 8. Sally and Carol were going to fly to Seattle on July 11, the day of the cruise. They didn't ask us before we left what our cabin number was. My friend and I boarded the ship early on July 11. As we were going to the sailaway, we spotted Sally getting some food at the buffet. She said that she and Carol had just boarded the ship. I didn't hear what she said next. She might have asked my friend about meeting for dinner, because my friend told her that we were going to have an early dinner and then go to the show.

 

We ran into them the next day, after we had dinner and were on our way to a show. I asked them if they were going to the show, too. Since I was prepared to sit next to strangers at the show, I figured that I might as well sit with them. They weren't going to the show. At that time, my friend told them our cabin number. However, they never called us or knocked on our door.

 

We ran into them a few days later and sat with them to listen to some music. We also ran into them briefly the following day and went to a show with them, and we happened to see them the day the cruise ended.

 

Sally had asked me for a list of the shore excursions that we were going to take. However, she and Carol booked different excursions.

 

We never shared a meal, and in a way, it's too bad that we didn't (I wouldn't have minded having a couple of meals with them - I was just afraid that Sally and Carol would be stuck to us 24/7), because after we got back from the cruise, I found out that Sally and Carol never went to the two main dining rooms on the Pearl, the Summer Palace and Indigo, because they thought they had to pay extra to eat there. They did go to a surcharge restaurant once during the cruise, but that was because they were tired of eating at the buffet all the time.

 

I was shocked to hear this, and my friend was VERY shocked to hear that they assumed that the main dining rooms weren't included in their cruisefare. In fact, Sally told me that she had told everyone she knew that NCL charged people extra if they wanted to eat in a dining room, and she said that now she would have to tell them all that she made a mistake.

 

At least she didn't blame either my friend or me for not having told her that they could eat in the dining rooms. It never occurred to me to tell her that she could eat there with no additional charge. I thought the daily bulletin made it clear that they could eat there, but I guess not. I just wish she had brought the subject up during the cruise, or she could have asked someone.

 

I was fortunate to learn that Sally and Carol are good cruising companions, because they are capable of entertaining themselves and did not want to hang around with us all the time. When I saw them on the ship on July 12, Carol was so radiantly happy that she looked pretty, and if you knew Carol, you would know that that's really something.

 

I didn't go to the mimosa get-together for singles on July 12, because it conflicted with Bingo, and I like playing Bingo on a cruise. There wasn't another singles get-together, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was because nobody went to the one on July 12.

[romnan]

My friend and I are planning an Alaskan cruise for July, 2010. We have not made any reservations yet. While we were eating lunch with my friend's friend "Sally," we mentioned the cruise, and Sally said that sounded great, and she wanted to know if she could go with us. I said sure, because I didn't know what else to say. I mean, I don't own the cruiseline, and it's a free country, so I couldn't keep her from booking the cruise. I did say, though, that my friend and I will be using frequent flyer miles for our flights to Seattle (we live in New Jersey), and I won't be able to book our flights until August (331 days before we plan to fly), and we're not going to book the cruise until we have our flights lined up.

 

I told her that after we book our flights in August and then our cruise, I'll give her the details, and she can make her own arrangements. At that point, Sally's friend "Carol" joined us, and Sally asked her if she wanted to go with us next year, and Carol said yes.

 

Sally wanted me to book their flights for them. I refused, saying that it was because I would be using frequent flyer miles to pay for my flight and my friend's flight, and I didn't have enough frequent flyer miles for their flights. She asked me again, and I refused, saying that it would be too complicated. Besides, I said, she would have to use her credit card to pay for it. She asked me a third time to book their flights, saying that she would give me her credit card, and I said no, laughing that I didn't want her credit card, and I repeated that it would be too complicated if I made her arrangements. I said that I would give her the cruiseline's 800 number so that she could call them, and that she could call whatever airline she wanted. She wanted me to call the cruiseline for her, but I refused. I told her that the cruiseline people were very nice, and they would be able to help her.

 

I'll see Sally tomorrow. As she requested, I found out the cost of the cheapest cabin on the cruise we are contemplating, and I'll give her the information, along with the cruiseline's 800 number and a reminder that nothing is for certain until the end of August. I'm thinking of suggesting that she and Carol go to a travel agency. But they'll have to find one. I don't know any that I can recommend.

 

I don't want to be reponsible for booking flights for them or their cabin. I'm hoping that they decide not to go after all. When I think about them going on the same cruise, I get a feeling of dread. What is the best thing to say to someone who wants to go on the same cruise as you when you're not overly keen on the idea? Is the solution to never tell anyone that you're going on a cruise until the day before you leave, so that they can't join you?

I'm really sorry for you !! Without you realizing it you have opend a Pandora's Box. Under no circumstances take responsibility to book and make arrangements for people that you don't even want to travel with.

 

No matter what you do or arrange You are going to be wrong Don't DO IT !!!

[Hlitner]

I think the OP has a real problem and it is the OPs.,,not her friend. If you cannot handle a simple issue like the airlines (just tell your friend that you have already booked your air and she must take care of her own air). You can also tell her that having someone else book your air on their credit card might make the reservations look like a security issue with TSA. But the airlines are the least of the problems as the real issue is how will you handle the day to day issues on board such as if she wants to eat together, play together, tour together, etc. When we have cruised with friends we all understood how everyone needed some of their "own space." If you and your friends cannot work out that issue then perhaps you all need new friends.

 

Hank

[Cruisin_on_th_net]

Oh hi there vacluvr. THANKS for the update, it sounds like you had a fantastic time! Great to hear the other 2 weren't a pain.

 

I appreciate you updating us dory's (nosy parkers! LOL) how it all went. :D

 

How was Alaska? How was the food? What were your fave excursions etc. ????

 

And as annoying as that pair are/were, I'm also really happy to hear they had a great time and that Carol was radiant!

 

Really happy to know it worked out OK for everyone!

[betty215]

Glad it went well! I went on a cruise earlier this year with what was supposed to be me, hubby and our son and it turned out to be 6 extra ppl. ALthough I had a great time, I learned never to tell anyone my plans until the last minute. I dont mind group vacations, but sometimes i want it to just be us. thats ok tho, hubby is making it up to me. we are going on another cruise in a few months, and this time, my mouth is (:-x)!!!

[Cricket63]

You're not invited. Have some bean dip!

 

LOL!

 

 

Too funny!! Thanks for the laugh!

 

Welcome home...so glad you guys had a wonderful time!!

[vacation luvver]

We had a wonderful time on the cruise! The good was great, because I like the food on NCL cruises. In the dining room, not the buffet so much. Even though I read that the Norwegian Pearl has a wonderful dinner buffet, my friend and I weren't impressed with it. To us, it was adequate, not wonderful. We ate there only when we didn't think we would have enough time to eat in the dining room.

 

We thoroughly enjoyed all of our shore excursions - the photography tour in Juneau (which had 9 people and was limited to 14), Best of Skagway (the train ride, a bus ride to Liarsville, where we had a terrific lunch of freshly grilled salmon and BBQ, and where we saw a silly show and panned for gold), and then a visit to the Red Onion Saloon, where we were given a tour and had a drink, Ketchican Cultural Discovery, where we saw totem poles in a park, and we took close-up photos of bald eagles, and we saw a salmon cannery, and we saw more totem poles in a museum, and Butchart Gardens in Victoria, BC, where we saw, photographed, and smelled thousands of flowers.

 

We didn't take any of the same excursions that Sally and Carol took. They went on a helicopter in Juneau. I wish I had the guts to do that.

 

Today at the gym, Sally told me that the photos that she took didn't come out right. She said they were too dark. She said that her camera wasn't working properly before the cruise, and Carol did something to it (probably as she tried to fix it). She asked me if I had negatives of the photos that I took.

 

I said that I didn't have negatives, as I used a digital camera with an SD card. She said that if I had had negatives, she would have wanted me to give them to her, because she has relatives coming over on Saturday just to see her pictures of Alaska, and she would pretend that they were pictures that she took.

 

She didn't ask me to lend her my SD cards. I wouldn't have done so anyway. After I pointed out that since we didn't go on the same excursions, she didn't see the scenes that I had photographed, I suggested that we go to a nearby pharmacy, since I had my SD cards with me, and she could decide which of my photos she wanted printed up, and we could place the order in her name (which would leave me out of it), and she could pick them up in an hour.

 

For some reason, she didn't want to do this. Afterwards, my friend told me that she is going to give Sally some of her photos. Fine with me.

[njmomof2]

You know, after reading this thread a while back and the ensuing drama of whether Sally was going to be a hanger on and make the OP's cruise miserable, and the OP trying to find ways to get away from this woman, reading the review of the cruise showed that all the drama and energy that went into figuring out how to avoid this woman was just a giant tempest in a teapot.

 

It sounds like you ran into them sporadically, did almost no activities with them, never sought them out for a meal or entertainment unless you ran into them going your way, and basically treated them like any other passengers you might run into occasionally and sit with during a show.

 

But then to hear that they had no idea they could eat in the dining rooms for no additional charge and therefore avoided it the entire trip just makes me sad. I mean, really, I have a lot of people of whom I'm not that fond, but if they were cruising (even if they were on my ship, which almost happened with 2 families for next month), I would give them basic information about the ship and cruise if I knew more than they did.

 

It sounds like you simply avoided contact with them as much as possible before hand, didn't give them any information about the ship or the workings of the cruise and left them hanging. I'm glad to hear that the other woman seemed to be having a wonderful time, but to miss the dining room because they simply didn't understand how it worked (and let's face it, NCL does have a tendency to charge for a large number of dining venues and those with less knowledge might not understand), is just sad.

 

From your description of her, she sounds a bit annoying and slighty pushy and cheap. But really, how sad to hear that she did this big cruise, had camera trouble so no really nice pictures of the amazing scenary, and then to find out they missed the dining room. Again...just so sad really.

[vacation luvver]

You know, after reading this thread a while back and the ensuing drama of whether Sally was going to be a hanger on and make the OP's cruise miserable, and the OP trying to find ways to get away from this woman, reading the review of the cruise showed that all the drama and energy that went into figuring out how to avoid this woman was just a giant tempest in a teapot.

You're right, as it turned out, there was nothing to worry about. But there was no way I could have known that ahead of time. Sally asked me three times to make her flight reservations, and after hearing "no" each time, she asked me to make her cruise reservation, which resulted in another "no." I thought I had every reason to fear that she would be a pest on the cruise. Now I know better, but I've learned that it isn't the wisest thing in the world to talk about upcoming vacation plans around everyone.

 

It sounds like you ran into them sporadically, did almost no activities with them, never sought them out for a meal or entertainment unless you ran into them going your way, and basically treated them like any other passengers you might run into occasionally and sit with during a show.

That's true, but remember - I didn't have their cabin number. Neither did my friend. She gave them our cabin number, but they never called us. As I said, Sally had asked me before the cruise to tell her which shore excursions I booked, and I told her. It's not my fault that she and Carol booked other excursions.

 

But then to hear that they had no idea they could eat in the dining rooms for no additional charge and therefore avoided it the entire trip just makes me sad. I mean, really, I have a lot of people of whom I'm not that fond, but if they were cruising (even if they were on my ship, which almost happened with 2 families for next month), I would give them basic information about the ship and cruise if I knew more than they did.

Sorry, but I am not accepting any blame. Before I took my first cruise with my friend in 2008, I went on approx 16 cruises by myself. So there wasn't anyone on the cruise that I personally knew who could have told me that I could eat in the dining room for no additional charge. I was able to figure it out from reading the cruise brochure and daily bulletin. Sally's travel agent could have told them that they could eat in the dining room. I know that they received the "Welcome Aboard" booklet, which specifies that they can eat in the dining room. It is not my fault that they didn't read it. I also know that they received the daily bulletin, because Sally told me that they received it. Again, it's not my fault that they didn't read it. If they had us about it, we would have told them. They could have asked a ship's employee. But they chose not to.

 

I don't see why I should be expected to tell people stuff that they could easily find out for themselves if they just read what they were supposed to read or asked a simple question. I never told them that if a photographer took their picture, there wasn't a cost to them to pose, and they weren't under any obligation to buy the picture if they didn't like it, but somehow they figured it out for themselves.

 

It sounds like you simply avoided contact with them as much as possible before hand, didn't give them any information about the ship or the workings of the cruise and left them hanging.

I didn't exactly avoid contact with them as much as possible beforehand. I went to the gym and saw Sally there. She was free to ask me what our cabin number was. She chose not to (until we were on the ship). As for not giving them any information about the ship, I told her the name of the ship, the phone number, and the date of the cruise. How much information am I supposed to provide to someone who asks, "Oooh, can I go, too?" She told me that she was going to book the cruise with a TA. Silly me, I figured that she would ask her TA what she needed to know. She once told me that she had asked her TA a million questions.

 

I'm glad to hear that the other woman seemed to be having a wonderful time, but to miss the dining room because they simply didn't understand how it worked (and let's face it, NCL does have a tendency to charge for a large number of dining venues and those with less knowledge might not understand), is just sad.

Another woman I know from Curves went on an NCL cruise to Alaska last year (not on the Pearl), and she recently told me that she and her husband had to eat breakfast at the buffet all the time, because the dining room was reserved for people in suites. I tried telling her that I didn't think that was the case, but she insisted that it was, and I didn't care to get into a fight, so I agreed with her. People can have misunderstandings about what is included and what is not. But even the woman and her husband who felt forced to eat breakfast at the buffet knew that they could eat lunch and dinner in the dining room, even though they didn't know anyone else at the time who had cruised with NCL.

 

From your description of her, she sounds a bit annoying and slighty pushy and cheap. But really, how sad to hear that she did this big cruise, had camera trouble so no really nice pictures of the amazing scenary, and then to find out they missed the dining room. Again...just so sad really.

I agree. But from what she told me, she knew her camera wasn't working before the cruise, and she decided against getting a new camera or disposable cameras.

 

Even my friend had camera trouble, and it was her own fault. My digital camera uses two AA batteries, so I always carry extra, and I'm ready to pop in new batteries as soon as they are needed. My friend's digital camera uses a rechargable battery, which I don't like at all, because when it dies, there's nothing you can do until you recharge it.

 

I told her to pack her recharger, so I thought that she did. The night before our first shore excursion in Juneau, I told her to recharge her battery. She said that she didn't need to. During our Juneau excursion, her battery died, so she missed out on taking a lot of photos. I told her that she should recharge her battery when we got back to our cabin. She said that she couldn't, because she had left the recharger at home.

 

I told her that I had reminded her to bring her recharger, and she acknowledged it, but she said that she didn't bring it because she didn't think that she would need it. Luckily, someone at the front desk loaned her a recharger, so she was able to use her camera for the rest of the cruise. And she didn't complain when I reminded her every night to recharge her battery.

 

It just shows that sometimes, no matter what you tell people, they won't listen to you, and they do their own thing, and then they're sorry. BTW well before the cruise, Sally wondered if she should bring anything fancy to wear on the cruise, and I told her no, that dress-up on NCL means not wearing jeans. She still brought along a fancy top, which she didn't wear, and she complained to me about it. I reminded her that I had specifically told her not to pack anything fancy.

 

When Sally said to my friend a month or two before the cruise that they had made their final payment, and that covered everything, right, and my friend said that it didn't cover their shore excursions, I wish that Sally had asked her about the dining rooms. Really, I saved the daily bulletins, and as I'm reading over them, I can't see where they got the impression that the Summer Palace and Indigo dining rooms would cost extra.

 

I am not a mind-reader. Since I had no trouble figuring out for myself on my solo cruises that I could eat in the dining room, I had absolutely no idea that (1) Sally and Carol would get confused, and (2) they wouldn't ask ANYONE about it.

[betty215]

its not up to vacation luvver to inform Sally of what is/is not included in the cruise. Its Sally's responsibility to do her research and figure out for herself what she is getting into. Its bad enough she basically invited herself, now vacation luvver has to feed her all the information? no way! When you pay for something, dont you want to know what you are getting for your money?