Dining room conversation

Hi everybody,

I will be going on a cruise with the Navigator soon and got a question that might seem a little strange. I am from Germany and my English is not too bad, but from time to time I am not sure about lets call it "the rules of conversation" in the US. Since one will probably have the same dining room tablemates for the entire cruise, would it be appropriate to shake hands when you see them on the first evening and to introduce yourself. Or would this, "Hello, my name is Peter Miller and I am from xy"-approach be absolutely not appropriate. In Germany people would think that you probably will go ahead and try to sell them a used- car, if you shake hands and tell your name at such an occasion. But, I guess an American will expect it. Am I right or am I wrong???

Go ahead, say hello, introduce yourself and just relax. It's always okay to shake hands if it seems possible with the seating arrangements.

Hi everybody,

 

I will be going on a cruise with the Navigator soon and got a question that might seem a little strange. I am from Germany and my English is not too bad, but from time to time I am not sure about lets call it "the rules of conversation" in the US. Since one will probably have the same dining room tablemates for the entire cruise, would it be appropriate to shake hands when you see them on the first evening and to introduce yourself. Or would this, "Hello, my name is Peter Miller and I am from xy"-approach be absolutely not appropriate. In Germany people would think that you probably will go ahead and try to sell them a used- car, if you shake hands and tell your name at such an occasion. But, I guess an American will expect it. Am I right or am I wrong???

I would just shake hands and just say something like, "I'm (Insert Name Here), it's a pleasure to meet you. I would save the where you're from conversation talk until you sit down. Since you're from another country I'm sure your tablemates will be interested about where you come from.

If you get nice tablemates, and the possibility is that you will, they will likely be open to all kinds of conversation. After the initial introductions, it kind of goes on to where are you from, how are you enjoying the cruise, what do you do back home. Things like that. If at anytime you feel uncomfortable with a subject, change it. And have a great time!

If you get nice tablemates, and the possibility is that you will, they will likely be open to all kinds of conversation. After the initial introductions, it kind of goes on to where are you from, how are you enjoying the cruise, what do you do back home. Things like that. If at anytime you feel uncomfortable with a subject, change it. And have a great time!

And if it STARTS with "what do you do back home?" you may want to start thinking new tablemates! :eek: :D

naskr01, that was a joke about Americans who care too much about what someone does for a living and how much money they make. :) Your planned greeting sound very appropriate to me.

[

quote=naskr01]Hi everybody,

 

I will be going on a cruise with the Navigator soon and got a question that might seem a little strange. I am from Germany and my English is not too bad, but from time to time I am not sure about lets call it "the rules of conversation" in the US. Since one will probably have the same dining room tablemates for the entire cruise, would it be appropriate to shake hands when you see them on the first evening and to introduce yourself. Or would this, "Hello, my name is Peter Miller and I am from xy"-approach be absolutely not appropriate. In Germany people would think that you probably will go ahead and try to sell them a used- car, if you shake hands and tell your name at such an occasion. But, I guess an American will expect it. Am I right or am I wrong???

I can only speak for myself, I would expect you to introduce yourself and shake hands if you feel comfortable in doing so. Save the "where you are from" for later in the conversation. You will be able to offer your tablemates the life and styles of and from another country, I think that would be a wonderful topic for dinner conversation. I really do not believe anyone will think your are trying to sell them a used car. Just relax, be yourself and let the conversation flow. You and your tablemates will learn alot about one-another. I, being of German decent would welcome the opportunity to learn about another country. Relax, enjoy and most of all have fun.

[

quote=naskr01]Hi everybody,

 

I will be going on a cruise with the Navigator soon and got a question that might seem a little strange. I am from Germany and my English is not too bad, but from time to time I am not sure about lets call it "the rules of conversation" in the US. Since one will probably have the same dining room tablemates for the entire cruise, would it be appropriate to shake hands when you see them on the first evening and to introduce yourself. Or would this, "Hello, my name is Peter Miller and I am from xy"-approach be absolutely not appropriate. In Germany people would think that you probably will go ahead and try to sell them a used- car, if you shake hands and tell your name at such an occasion. But, I guess an American will expect it. Am I right or am I wrong???

I can only speak for myself, I would expect you to introduce yourself and shake hands if you feel comfortable in doing so. Save the "where you are from" for later in the conversation. You will be able to offer your tablemates the life and styles of and from another country, I think that would be a wonderful topic for dinner conversation. I really do not believe anyone will think your are trying to sell them a used car. Just relax, be yourself and let the conversation flow. You and your tablemates will learn alot about one-another. I, being of German decent would welcome the opportunity to learn about another country. Relax, enjoy and most of all have fun.

Sorry it posted 2x

Hi everybody,

 

I will be going on a cruise with the Navigator soon and got a question that might seem a little strange. I am from Germany and my English is not too bad, but from time to time I am not sure about lets call it "the rules of conversation" in the US. Since one will probably have the same dining room tablemates for the entire cruise, would it be appropriate to shake hands when you see them on the first evening and to introduce yourself. Or would this, "Hello, my name is Peter Miller and I am from xy"-approach be absolutely not appropriate. In Germany people would think that you probably will go ahead and try to sell them a used- car, if you shake hands and tell your name at such an occasion. But, I guess an American will expect it. Am I right or am I wrong???

I just wanted to add a note about the "shaking hands" part. I think these posters that suggested that were picturing you meeting table mates while you are still standing or when you first enter. Then (if standing), Americans will shake hands.

If you are sitting or if others are already sitting at the table when you arrive and you want to introduce yourself, then the handshake across the table will be awkward. You should just say "Hi, are you one of those Whaco Radical Liberals I hear about so often?" :D -- just kidding......

As for "where are you from", if you live near a big city that Americans might be familiar with include it in your answer. For instance, I'm from Alexandria, VA, and I usually will say "Alexandria, VA, just outside of Washington, DC" so that whoever I'm talking to will get a better sense of where I live. It makes you easier to identify with.

Also, Americans don't often discuss politics with strangers (mainly because getting into the inevitable "discussion" - also known as an argument - isn't really polite conversation), so avoid asking questions about anyone's political opinions.

I don't know if you have children, but Americans also have a tendancy to boast about their children - don't take it personally if your table mate is sure to "one up" anything you say about your kids with something their kids did better or earlier or whatever.

Don't be overly surprised if someone at the table wants to say grace before the meal - Americans are religious and some of us don't have any problem with attempting to include our dining companions in our religous rituals. My DH and I are not religious, and we usually just pretend to go along with it and don't worry about it too much.

Don't be overly surprised if someone at the table wants to say grace before the meal - Americans are religious and some of us don't have any problem with attempting to include our dining companions in our religous rituals. My DH and I are not religious' date=' and we usually just pretend to go along with it and don't worry about it too much.[/quote']

 

That is an interesting comment and something I have never encountered in over 26 years of cruising despite dining with people of various religious persuasions from all parts of the country and the world (and it almost leads me to wonder why). We have had priests at our table and I can't ever remember anyone asking them, or them volunteering , to say grace, but I never even thought about it. Perhaps it isn't as prevalent a practice as it once was, but I guess it might be interesting to see if anyone has experienced this on any of their cruises.

That is an interesting comment and something I have never encountered in over 26 years of cruising despite dining with people of various religious persuasions from all parts of the country and the world (and it almost leads me to wonder why). We have had priests at our table and I can't ever remember anyone asking them, or them volunteering , to say grace, but I never even thought about it. Perhaps it isn't as prevalent a practice as it once was, but I guess it might be interesting to see if anyone has experienced this on any of their cruises.

I have esperienced it at least twice. No big deal. I lowered my eyes, and went along with it. Other table mates were very nice on both ocacions and did the same. AFter that conversations always went on different directions, and everyone participated.

Naskr01 -

Hallo! Dies ist eine gute Frage. Ich fahre nach Deutschland jedes Jahr, da ich 12 Jahre alt war, aber mein Deutsch ist noch nicht sehr gut! Aber ich versuche!

Es wäre durchaus gute Weisen, sich einzuführen, und eine Konversation anzufangen. Sie würden Deutschland in einem sehr guten Weg, und den Amerikanern würde schätzen das vertreten.

Have a great cruise!!! :)

I have been at functions where a couple will bow heads , hold hands and quietly pray. We are respectful and bow and pray to ourselves. I have been at other functions where people are offended if it is suggested that a prayer is said.

another topic----I didn't know it offends some on cruises if you don't sit in the same seat each night. Apparently some get panties wadded over musical chairs. I like mixing up conversations each night personally.

 

another topic----I didn't know it offends some on cruises if you don't sit in the same seat each night. Apparently some get panties wadded over musical chairs. I like mixing up conversations each night personally.

We usually suggest that we all stay in the same order, but rotate around the table each night, so everyone gets to enjoy whatever views are available. Never had anyone object.

We haven't had tablemates say grace on a cruise yet. Actually religion is one subject that in all our cruises has not been discussed. Politics has been discussed for a short time once.

I think just a quick " Hi my name is...." and it would be followed by them telling you their names. Next step is usually "where are you from?" And then the conversation will go from there. I have never had anyone ever shake hands. Like others have said it's hard to do across the table.

Just introduce yourself and only shake hands if someone else offers. In these days of norovirus, etc., nobody wants to shake hands right before the meal is served. A smile is as much as you need.

BTW - never had anyone that wanted prayers at the table...was surprised to hear of that.

As suggested, it is appropriate to shake hands if offered. Because of Norovirus many people avoid handshakes. You will not be considered rude if you do not offer.

Initial conversation usually centers around names and where you are from. After that it can go in any direction. Most people do avoid discussions about religion and politics.

We have never had a problem with discussions of occupations. However, questions of "How much do you make?" and "How much did you pay for your cruise?" are generally off limits.

Most all conversation on a cruise ship is informal. I know that when we lived in Berlin for a couple of years it was considered rude to use a persons first name unless you were invited to do so. On the cruise especially we are lucky to remember all of the first names of people that we meet.:D

Charlie

In these days of norovirus, etc., nobody wants to shake hands right before the meal is served.

As a quick OT aside, I know this is true. But if you really look at it from a germ transference perspective, if you are going to be passing salt and pepper shakers, etc. back and forth you might as well shake hands. One will "share" germs as well as the other.

Just don't comment "YOU DRINK WITH DINNER??? if your tablemates order wine and you don't.

One experience we had after the intro of names and where we were from. One guy just blurted it out when my husband ordered wine....we never went back to the dining room on that cruise. We did Chops, Portofino or ate in port.

Never ate in the dining room again after that cruise unless we had a table for 2 or travelled with friends/family.

Just don't comment "YOU DRINK WITH DINNER??? if your tablemates order wine and you don't.

Probably their first time in "the big city":D

Even though we have had a couple of close encounters of the strange kind with tablemates, we always have enjoyed the company.

Charlie

Also' date=' Americans don't often discuss politics with strangers (mainly because getting into the inevitable "discussion" - also known as an argument - isn't really polite conversation), so avoid asking questions about anyone's political opinions.[/quote']

Excellent advice, and I would also recommend avoiding the topic of religion -- especially if your tablemates want you to join them in a prayer !! Most of us who are religious consider it a private matter, and would never dream of imposing it on strangers. Much like politics, polite discussion of religion often takes an uncomfortable turn. :o

Naskr01 -

 

Hallo! Dies ist eine gute Frage. Ich fahre nach Deutschland jedes Jahr, da ich 12 Jahre alt war, aber mein Deutsch ist noch nicht sehr gut! Aber ich versuche!

 

Es wäre durchaus gute Weisen, sich einzuführen, und eine Konversation anzufangen. Sie würden Deutschland in einem sehr guten Weg, und den Amerikanern würde schätzen das vertreten.

 

Have a great cruise!!! :)

Well, ChristieNJ, your German is much better than mine. I can read to understand but I'd never be able to write/speak that well.:)

I would avoid politics at all costs. Some people can have a rational discussion about the merits of one party, issue, leader. Some cannot. You will not know until you're past the point of no return.

I find the discussion about inviting others to pray with you interesting. I presume that the person who said that would also join in on Jewish prayers or prayers of other faiths, in the interest of socialising also? I think of religion as a personal thing and inviting strangers to pray with you seems like a recipe for awkwardness. Surely there must be a away of figuring out if folks are just like you more subtlely.

I think a much safer approach would be to ask people at the first meal how their journey to the ship went. On subsequent days, you can ask them how they enjoyed their days.

As for "where are you from"' date=' if you live near a big city that Americans might be familiar with include it in your answer. For instance, I'm from Alexandria, VA, and I usually will say "Alexandria, VA, just outside of Washington, DC" so that whoever I'm talking to will get a better sense of where I live. It makes you easier to identify with.

 

Also, Americans don't often discuss politics with strangers (mainly because getting into the inevitable "discussion" - also known as an argument - isn't really polite conversation), so avoid asking questions about anyone's political opinions.

 

I don't know if you have children, but Americans also have a tendancy to boast about their children - don't take it personally if your table mate is sure to "one up" anything you say about your kids with something their kids did better or earlier or whatever.

 

[b'] Don't be overly surprised if someone at the table wants to say grace before the meal - Americans are religious and some of us don't have any problem with attempting to include our dining companions in our religous rituals. My DH and I are not religious, and we usually just pretend to go along with it and don't worry about it too much.[/b]

I understand what you are saying, but I really think that the statement "Americans are religious" is far too overly broad. I know many, many Americans who are not religious. In fact, many European countries are more consistently religious than the US as a whole. Personally, I don't have a problem if others wish to say grace; I do have a problem when they try to force us to do so with them under their terms of their religion. I think the most important thing to consider about Americans and religion is that we have a hugely broad array of religions (and non-religious) represented. No one should ever assume that the religion of the stranger sitting next to them is the same as theirs. If I choose to say a prayer, it's silent and private. I believe in this type of pluralistic and open setting that it is respectful to not presume otherwise. (And of course this doesn't even touch on the "don't discuss religion, sex, or politics" social standard.) I don't feel compelled to "go along" with it because that is an intrusion into my personal beliefs. We should not feel obligated to "humor" (not meant as a flame) others who try to insist that we follow their rituals.

As for shaking hands, we don't do it anymore. It's not a world-wide custom (maybe other cultures were on to something there regarding hand shaking and the relationship to illness. It's a great way to catch something--often when the "giver" doesn't yet know that he or she is ill. Just food for thought, so to speak.

beachchick