Traveling WITHOUT children - mommy panic and withdrawl

I've seen a lot of posts re: traveling with children, but I'm hoping for some advice re: traveling without children. My DH and I will be on a 4-night cruise in April sans children. It will be the first time we have left them for more than one night and the first time we will be so far away.

Questions:

Is there anything out of the norm we should have prepared prior to our trip? Our travel agent mentioned a notarized document authorizing the caregivers to get the children medical treatment if needed. Is that really needed? They will be with their grandparents; God forbid if something happens can't they just take them to the ER?

How good is communication with or on the ship? Is there phone service? Would we be able to Skype while on board? Do personal cell phones typically get reception while on board?

How big a gift do we need to bring back for grandma and grandpa?!

My heart hurts thinking about leaving my babies at home, but I haven't been on a vacation in four years and mama really needs this.

Skype won't work well if at all due to the very high latency of satellite-based internet. You can cheat to get good speeds for torrents by sending traffic over a VPN but you can't do anything to get a low-latency connection.

It's a completely foreign concept to me to consider traveling without our children and so I can't help with that part :).

I would say just go, enjoy and try to forget... kids will have fun with grandparents, and probably the last thing they will want anyway is you guys fussing!

If there is any problem they should be able to phone you on the ship... but remember grandparents brought you up, and no doubt did a good job... so they know what they are doing too!

Skype won't work well if at all due to the very high latency of satellite-based internet. You can cheat to get good speeds for torrents by sending traffic over a VPN but you can't do anything to get a low-latency connection.

 

It's a completely foreign concept to me to consider traveling without our children and so I can't help with that part :).

Thanks for the information. We look forward to traveling with our children when they are a bit older, but I'm not taking a 3 year old and 1 year old on a cruise! :)

I would say just go, enjoy and try to forget... kids will have fun with grandparents, and probably the last thing they will want anyway is you guys fussing!

 

If there is any problem they should be able to phone you on the ship... but remember grandparents brought you up, and no doubt did a good job... so they know what they are doing too!

LOL, they actually watch our children during the work week so I'm not worried about their compentency, just their sanity! :)

Relax and go enjoy yourself.

To answer your question.. Yes you should leave a signed paper with the grandparents in case one of the children needs medical help. My mother always had one even if we were at home and close by. This is because hospitals have become ever worried about law suits, so often they will only preform life saving help, but not necessarily "medically necessary" without the parents permission.

The fear of leaving your children for a number of days may never go away but it is important that you and your spouse have some alone time. So go an enjoy

we are leaving Friday! and leaving our 1.5 year old home with grandparents for the first time. I asked the pediatrician's office what was needed in case they need to bring him in and was told I only needed to write out a simple form letter stating the grandparents names and dates they would be caring for him. No need to notarize it per their office. I even asked that specifically. we plan on using email as our main communication as I feel that will be the cheapest and I worry about skype/phone and him getting more upset at seeing/hearing us but not being able to understand where we are. But that's probably an age thing as he's young and may not be of concern for older kids.

I am leaving the house fully stocked with groceries and plenty of new things and activities. Haven't decided on a gift yet for them.

The grandparents will need auuthorization to approve medical treatment. It should be notarized. The ER will treat the kids for lifethreatening situations, but not lesser treatment. For instance, they will not put a cast on a broken bone with out authorization.

Skype may work or it may not. Some ships block it completely. On other ships it depends on the internet capacity and how much contention there is for it. Some get it to work others don't. I would not count on it.

Cell phone usually work, but are expensive. $2.49 per minute when going thru the ship. Iternet is also expensive, 30 to 75 cents per minute depending on the cruise line and the package you purchase.

You will not be able to relax the first day, but after that it will be easier to let it all go. Be prepared to talk your husband to death about the children and worries the first hour or two of your departure! But warn him ahead and say it won't last the whole trip...then stick to that! Even if you don't normally drink, like me, try to have a drink enroute or as soon as you board so you can unwind. And please, enjoy yourself without guilt! I would suggest LESS contact with kids & grandparents. I found that's easier with my baby. If she's at grandma's and hears my voice, she cries. They say otherwise she's fine. But I suppose it depends on the child. It's great they will already be comfortable staying there, in a familiar environment. Your parents may enjoy the "freedom" of having the children all to themselves, even if they get a bit worn out!

As for the gift, nothing that big is needed, but perhaps a small gift from your trip, then dinner out when you return? Remember too, parents love to see their children happy. Seeing your happiness & relaxation will reward them as well!

Have a great time!

A medical power of attorney is definitely the way to go especially if you are going to be on the high seas. If nothing else you will have peace of mind

We are going without the kids also. Ok, the kids are in high school, but we still worry

Don't forget insurance cards for them!

Yes...hand write a note giving the grandparents permission to treat your kids, along with your insurance info...better safe than sorry!

And, then....RELAX! It's GOOD to be away from the kids sometimes! Kids need to know that parents return, and parents need to be "a couple" and not just parents! Make friends with your spouse again...act like you don't even have kids, if only for a couple days. It's HEALTHY!

You are more than just the kid's parents!

And, while it's natural to want to do the best for your kids, sometimes putting yourself BEFORE the kids is the thing to do. They will be fine. You will be fine.

Go...cruise...enjoy!

My parents used to go on a long haul trip on their own for a couple of weeks each year and leave me with my grandparents.

I used to look foward to their trip as much as they did! I adored my grandparents so being dropped off there was fantastic for me, they did all the stuff parents are too busy to do, fed me what I wanted, I got treats every day etc etc!

I know you will, but try not to worry about them, they'll be having as much of a holiday as you. Plus, grandparents pretty much love doing it and getting a great big block of time with their grandchildren.

I can't imagine NOT taking a vacation every year without my children.

You have gotten good advice; you will need to leave a signed medical permission letter (does not need to be notarized) and their insurance cards. Call your cell provider to discuss plans that will work out-of-the country. Usually, texting is cheapest, but depends on your plan. Skype will not usually work on a ship, as already mentioned.

Sounds as if your parents and children spend a lot of time together now, which should make the transition easier. Have a great trip; you have to nurture the relationship with your husband and take a break now and again.

Will be going away with my husband in May for our first solo trip in the 17/18 something years that we have been married. All five kids being left at home for my parents to look after for three weeks! Am also nervous about it, but my baby is now 8, so it should be fine. They will also be at school, so the majority of the time will be filled up for them. I'm probably more worried that something might happen to us and we wont get back to the kids, but I guess I can't live life like that, or I wouldn't live.

Hopefully in two years time we will have saved up some leave and can take the kids with us (lets hope I dont end up regretting that being too worried over the kids on the ship and not being able to relax).

I'm sure we will both be fine and it will be here and gone before we blink!

Kylie

Oh one last point, give your children a realistic if not slightly pessimistic idea of how much you will be able to contact them while you are away. That way they wont panic if you can't contact them when travelling. I am hoping to speak to my kids or at least email them at ports along the way, but have told them all that there wont be any contact during the cruise as there is no internet ... that way if we can't get on they wont be worried unnecessarily.

My girlfriends and I go away to the Bahamas every mothers day weekend without our children. Couldn't think of a better present. :D Unfortunately, turn around is fair play when fathers day rolls around and the guys all go on a golf weekend and stick us with the kids. :mad:

My grandkids (3 and 5) call it "Camp Pop-Pop" and they can not wait for mom and dad to go away... so enjoy... they will. And Yes, I think a noterized letter for medical treatment would be the best way to go - always err on the side of caution.

According to my attorney we only ever needed to leave a written permission slip and their insurance cards. I am overly cautious though so I always call the insurance company and have them put a verbal note on their account.

The first time to leave them was tough, and I told my husband everyday I missed the kids. I still have a hard time leaving the boys, even with my hubby home with them, but I think one of the biggest joys in my life is my kids coming in to snuggle me and watch TV just because they want to spend time with me. Silly Mom I know but with a 13 year old and an 11 year old who knows how long that will last!

Enjoy, know you will miss them and worry a bit since you are incommunicado, but please don't let it ruin your trip. Buy them a special souvenir and take pictures of things they might like just for them, ten they know you were thinking of them while you were gone.

Everytime I travel without kids I leave a Power of Attorney for Loco Parentis. I would never just leave a hand written note.

How good is communication with or on the ship? Is there phone service? Would we be able to Skype while on board? Do personal cell phones typically get reception while on board?

 

In 2003 (the only time I asked) a ship to shore phone call was $15.00 per minute! Now you now why I only asked once.

Why not visit an internet cafe in one of your ports?

 

 

How big a gift do we need to bring back for grandma and grandpa?!

My heart hurts thinking about leaving my babies at home, but I haven't been on a vacation in four years and mama really needs this.

Our kids grandparents would have been upset with a big gift.

Go on your well deserved vacation, relax and enjoy yourself.

Special Power of Attorney to Act "In Loco Parentis"

The phrase "in loco parentis" means "in the place of the parent." This common type of special POA grants parental authority to another (such as a caregiver) to perform a range of functions which can include picking up a child from school, buying food and clothing, and consenting to medical treatment of the child in the event of illness or injury. Without this type of special POA a day care center, school, store, hospital or clinic, fearing legal repercussions, may refuse to follow the directives of the caregiver or other agent, and require the specific authorization of the actual parent.

I've seen a lot of posts re: traveling with children, but I'm hoping for some advice re: traveling without children. My DH and I will be on a 4-night cruise in April sans children. It will be the first time we have left them for more than one night and the first time we will be so far away.

Questions:

Is there anything out of the norm we should have prepared prior to our trip? Our travel agent mentioned a notarized document authorizing the caregivers to get the children medical treatment if needed. Is that really needed? They will be with their grandparents; God forbid if something happens can't they just take them to the ER? unless the children are in imminent danger of dying the grandparents require a special POA authorizing them to make medical decisions.

How good is communication with or on the ship? Is there phone service? expensive and unreliable.Would we be able to Skype while on board? Do personal cell phones typically get reception while on board? nope.. but on shore if you have an international plan you can get away with almost reasonable charges.

How big a gift do we need to bring back for grandma and grandpa?! what makes you think they require anything other than 4 days to spoil the grandkids rotten?!

My heart hurts thinking about leaving my babies at home, but I haven't been on a vacation in four years and mama really needs this.

all you really need is a Medical POA for emergencies. use this time as a way to make the first steps towards regaining some of your adult independence. it is not heathy for either Parent or child to be incapable of separation to the point where you must be in contact every day. the kids will survive.

First of all, relax! You deserve a vacation!

DH and I are going on our 2nd cruise sans kiddo in April (Our son will be nearly 3). You WILL miss the kids, that's just part of leaving your babies. Something would be wrong with you if you didn't miss them! I cried last time (he was only 6 months), and I probably will this time, but I know he's in good hands. The reason I don't bring him is because it will be a vacation for him, not for us...it would be fun, but a different kind of fun... I just want a carefree, relaxing vacay, plus DS (dear son) will get to spend some quality time with G-ma and G-pa.

Communication: Some ships allow Skype...but you usually have to pay for internet usage (on Carnival at least). It would be easy to use your cell phone BUT there are lots of ambiguous charges, so either call your cell provider AND check what kind of charges the ship may impose for cell phone usage. I've heard about some seriously high bills for people who only used their cells briefly. I will be calling from the phone in our cabin ($1.99/min) each night before dinner to check in...doesn't need to be but a quick call.

Important documents: Leave your insurance card (or at least a copy) with your parents. Also have a letter signed stating that your parents may make medical decisions for your children. Google this, there are some fill-in letters. Additionally, make sure you have a will if you don't already. It's highly unlikely that you'll need it, but let's face it, things happen unexpectedly all the time and you want your children to be protected and well-cared for.

Find out if the ship has an emergency line and leave the number with your folks as well as the ship you're sailing on and your itinerary.

Hopefully this helps and doesn't create anxiety for you! Just remember that you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your kiddos...so some rest and relaxation will help you be a better mommy!

Good luck and have fun!

Jenny

You don't say how old your children are, but if they are of school age don't forget to inform the school that the Grandparents are in charge and to be sure that the office has new 'in case of emergency' contact numbers for the week. No point in calling your office if you're not there,lol.

When DH and I went away for the first time, and subsequent times, without our kids, I made individual booklets for each child complete with current photograph, health card number (i'm Canadian), routines, friends phone numbers, area places to visit (indoor playgrounds, etc), all the cruise info, directions to doctor, dentist, hospital, mcdonalds. This way, if there ever was an emergency, my sister (who was watching my kids) only had to grab the 'package' and go right away and everything she needed would be at her fingertips including how to get ahold of me.

It goes without saying, but I assume that your Will and executor are all taken care of? And your banking is in order? I left all that info in a seperate 'info package' for my sister incase DH and I bought the farm together while travelling. Everything she needed to know was in that package including our Will, banking account numbers and a contact at the bank, insurance policies etc.

Not trying to sound morbid, but you have to prepare your caregivers for the 'worst possible scenario'. I'm sure it will all be fine, but it never hurts to have your affairs all in order, even if you're not on vacation.

Prepare for some heart tugging moments as you see other people with their children (I was guilty of asking a complete stranger on the ship if I could hold their child 'just for a minute' because I missed my kids. Fast forward to today where my kids are 19 and 20 and I can't even imagine what the hell I was thinking or why I would miss them so much...LOL).

Enjoy, reconnect, and build that marriage...in the end the kids will move onto their own lives and then it will just be you and your husband and you guys better still like each other :)

Have a great cruise!