How much freedom to allow & at what age?

Realizing of course that all children are different, mature at different rates, some are more responsible than others, I'm curious what your experience has been with your children. At what age are you willing to let them out of your sight? Maybe you allow them to sit out on the pool deck and watch the evening movie while you're elsewhere? Maybe they stay in the room and read/watch tv/sleep while you're at a show?

It seems to me that while on land I'd never consider letting my 10 year old stay in the hotel room while I was elsewhere, maybe life on the ship is a bit different. Would love to hear your thoughts and experience about when you'll allow children a bit more freedom. At what age?

Thanks!

I actually feel like the public areas are safer than allowing my 8 year old to be alone in our cabin. I let her go to the buffet while we were at the pool, go play mini golf with another 8 year old friend, go wait at the main lounge for me 15 minutes ahead, and go use the restroom alone when we were at dinner. Among our group of four 8 year olds cruising together, two were allowed those freedoms, one (my special needs daughter) was only allowed out of my sight for 10 minutes at a time, and one (a more immature boy who couldn't be trusted not to wander) was not allowed to be out of an adult's sight.

Best,

Mia

12 by themselves with rules. After all they are old enough to babysit at that age and should be able to follow the rules....stay in public areas, mind your manners, every one knows where the other ones are, do not go into anyone elses room, no one goes in their room, do not accept drinks from anyone and do not drink theirs if left unattended. Under 12 were allowed to go with 12+ if they stayed together. These were the rules for my kids who both were mature enough at that age to handle the responsibility. Some kids are not.

When DD was about 8YO, she could go to and from a specific location when accompanied by a least one other kid. So, for example, on-board if she and a friend wanted to go to the soft serve machice - she could ask permission to go to the softserve machine and when they were back she was expected to let me know. The "level of adventure" length and duration of such trips gradually increased as she proved herself mature enough to handle them. Starting at the first trip after she turned 12YO, she was able to roam "freely" -- she had a curfew, she was expected to be with at least one or two friends at all time, and she had a set expectation of what locations she could and could not visit.

DD has always had a pretty good head on her shoulders and we both have very distictive (and similar) hair -- so inevitably she knows that all of the little old ladies on board are going to notice her and will be able to link her to me. So she knows I will get reports from complete strangers of "oh, I just saw your daughter and her friends . . . . " and she knows if she wants to continue to travel with us that the . . . . had better be something along the lines of "and they were so nice to hold the door for me" rather than "and they were blocking the stairs"

She's 18 now and will be graduating high school in 43 days (not that she's counting or anything). She'll be heading off to college in a few months and I'll face a whole new set of worries. We've had three babies born in my department in the past few months - and I keep telling these new parents, it may get better in one way but there will always be something new to worry about! The joys of parenting! :D

I can't really answer, thinking about my own childhood. (LO is just 3.) I was fine with going off to the Dairy Queen at age 8, but would freak out at home alone at night even at 11. It just depends too much on the individual child and the scenario. And whether other kids are along, of course.

I would never allow any child to "roam"...that's trouble waiting to happen! However, I would "let my child out of my sight" for specific reasons....they want a drink, I'd let them go get it. They will be in the arcade, that's fine, but find me before they go elsewhere. Stuff like that.

I would let that sort of thing happen around 10 or so, depending on their maturity and how well I'D TAUGHT THEM!!!! That's the key! What have you taught your kids? Hopefully, you haven't told them that "strangers" are all bad....because they aren't! Hopefully, you've taught them manners and proper behavior in public. Hopefully, you KNOW you can trust your child to take care of themselves for 15 mins!!!

So, it really depends on how independent you've allowed your child to be....it's how they learn!

There is not one answer or age. I know on one cruise when my DS was about 10, there was a man hanging around the corridors near the kid's clubs and security warned him off more than once. As the ships get larger, so do the dangers. No matter how well educated on manners and stranger danger, things happen. If two children are together, Ok, going around alone . . . Not so much. Going into the buffet or restroom from the pool is one thing. Going from the cabin to the gift shops or the sports deck is another.

Always in pairs or a group and with a destination in mind with a check in time. If all those were in place I'd say age 12. Just to roam around...not going to happen on my watch not even my teenager will be allowed to do that, just asking for trouble. I'm not so worried about "stranger danger" as my kids know all about that and from an early age but rather I think that kids are kids and silly ideas enter their heads at times and I wouldn't want my child to ruin someone's vacation. If I'm reading a book on deck and two of my children (12+) would like to pop over to get some ice-cream and then come back...that works.

Excellent feedack, all, thank you. I think you are all on point and offer important points to consider.

On my cruise last week, we let our almost 8-year-old son go from the MDR to the bathroom and back unaccompanied. He handled it just fine. When we used the elevators, he was always careful to hold the door to let other people on and off. I was quite pleased with how he handled himself, and I believe that he will be able to handle some more freedom whenever we cruise next (which, sadly, probably won't be for awhile yet.)

Our almost 6-year-old daughter also handled herself quite well. But we did not let her go anywhere by herself, not even to the bathroom.

I checked 12, but there are so many variables as to when kids can 'be out of sight', that I would need a much more detailed poll.

We cruise with grandchildren, who will be ages 9-15 on our November cruise. I would be fine with any of them going to get ice cream, play basketball, visit the buffet, go to the bathroom, etc., by themselves, as long as we know where they will be.

None, not even the teens, will 'roam' the ship, especially by themselves. We will be giving them much more freedom than the last cruise, when the oldest were 11, but still not unlimited wandering. We will want to know where they are and when they will be back. Also, no one wandering around by themselves except for short times. With 7 cousins, this shouldn't be a burden!

We also have specific rules and a 'big' discussion about behavior and courtesy towards other. They have to sign a cruise behavior contract, and any major problem will result in being stuck tight to us 24/7. So far they've been great to take on cruises, but since this is the first cruise with 4 teens (3 girls, 1 boy) this takes independence to a whole new level. Luckily they are all good kids, but still kids--all, except maybe the 9 year old--are appropriately mature for their age. Mr. 9 is a little bit scatter brained yet. I can see him getting lost on the ship.

The younger 3, (9,11,12) will have more structure, of course.

Having twins - I don't have to think often about them being alone - they accompany each other to the ladies room, ice cream station and to almost any other public space at the age of 10. This next year - will be the first they can sign out of kids club themselves - the biggest reason is to avoid some of the long lines signing them in and out at specific times. One time on the Gem, it took nearly 30 minutes in line to sign them out. This way we can just meet in a public space. I think I would be different if I had just one child. But as has been said many times - you must know your own child. I would never judge a parent who knows their 14 year old is not comfortable alone.

My girls balance each other and I feel very secure in having them travel together on a ship as long as there is a plan and a destination. Risks are everywhere - knowledge and experience are the best tools for their safety.

I checked 12, but the more comments I read, I should have checked 9 or 10. When she was able to sign herself in and out at age 9 she was able to roam the ship with her friends in Camp, with guide lines.

At age 12 she was in the pre-teen group, (12-14), and was given a lot more freedom.

Would I let a 12 year old first timer that much freedom, probably not, but she has been on the ships since age 5.

Certainly out of our sight doesn't mean we do not know where they are and are checking with them frequently.

LuLu

It does depend on the child as many have responded. My son has been cruising since he was 4 years old and he is now 15 with about 11 cruises under his belt.

He doesn't like to be on his own on the ship unless he is heading off to sleep. Otherwise he participates in ship activities and meets friends in his age group. He actually makes friends fast and he prefers 7 day cruises over the shorter ones. I think that has to do with the bonding time/time it takes to make friends.

We started out slow when he was 12 (ok, maybe 11.5) and made arrangements to meet at our room or another location after he finished a scheduled activity. He always adhered to our rules and was never late. At 15, we still have rules (never enter another persons cabin for example) and often require meeting times and demand a return to the room for the night hour unless he is with us.

Honestly, it's kind of funny because we end up eating pizza (not healthy I know) at late hours of the night and he is there with a group of friends and we close the night after our late night snack. Not normal for our home routine, but fun for vacation. He still loves us and he still follows the rules!

In my opinion, each child is different and would require guidance that fit their maturity level and circumstances.

Happy Cruising!