Phobia question

OK - here's a question I've never seen on here: does anyone have any experience with agoraphobia? I'm not talking about the type that confines people to their homes: I am deathly afraid of open spaces. (example: when I go to the beach, I have to sit with my back to the ocean, and forget about going onto piers!)

My DH and I are planning our first cruise to Alaska next year -- if I can handle it, we are hoping to take more. I have no problems flying (enclosed cabin) -- I'm hoping that as long as I stay away from the railing on open decks I'll be OK.

Anyone with suggestions or tips? I really don't want to make this a one-time experience!

Thanx!

the best thing (and probably the scariest) thing to do is face your fear. before your cruise, go somewhere that has an open space and experience it. i know this probably seems impossible, but once you do this, your fear will lessen. i have done this many times with some of my fears: heights- i made myself look over the edge of a very tall stadium. i thought i was going to die, but it ended up making me less scared. i was also very scared of swimming with fish around, so getting out in the water and letting fish swim around me really helped.

again, i know it sounds nearly impossible to do since you said you are "deathly afraid", but this really does work! good luck!

Just be prepared---Alaska is one place with more open spaces than any other place I've ever been to, so you might need to take some extra thoughts about taking an Alaska cruise. Most of their tours are things that involve open spaces, so you might not find much to do that makes an Alaska cruise special.

Might consider a trip to New York City, and Cruising on over to Bellevue for some TREATMENT!!!!!!!!:cool:

There are plenty of places on the ship that you can go to if the openness gets overwhelming. You don't have to be on the open decks to see the scenery. (Although we spent a lot of time on the Promenade Deck with our binoculars.) There are good viewing spots in some of the lounges and buffet area. When you're in port, you can plan on excursions that aren't going to be scary for you and still be able to see a lot.

oops

I feel for you. Sounds as if you have the same type fear of heights as I. Only OPEN heights bother me. As long as I'm not where I could fall off or over an edge, I'm pretty much ok, but still a bit leery. I can't go but a foot or so out on a hotel balcony, nowhere near the railing. (When I see people on TV at the edge of something high, my stomach starts churning and my knees get weak, and I have to look away, quickly.)

Like you, I have no problem in an airplane. I'm nicely enclosed and safe, and I even ask for window seats. It's just the OPEN spaces I can't tolerate.

On the ships, I can't stand near or touch the side railings, because they go straight down to the ocean. However, I CAN at least 'touch' the railing near the bow of the ship. It's something, at least, so maybe you could try that. Otherwise, sit on deck far away from the railings, and enjoy the scenery from there.

Bless you heart, I hope you'll be able to enjoy the cruise. It's a terrible phobia to have to live with, and no amount of coaxing can get me near an edge.......20 ft. away is nice.:o (And yes, I've been in therapy for this, for a long time....didn't help.)

You may want to talk to your doctor about a mild medication to be taken only if necessary.

You could start slowly by going up to the top of a skyscraper. Look out the windows for two days. then see if you can find some place that you can go on the roof. Stepp out of the door only one or two feet, repeat this step at least four times. Then go out a little futher and look around. do this for several days. It will help for the cruise. You do not have to look out to sea, people watching is fun. Seat near a window and look out sometimes. Go up to the lido where there is a lot of people having fun. Seat on a chair and look across the pool to the far side. Now get up and walk over to that side and see the side you were seating on. Chose your shore ex carefully, don't try whale watching this time (you may be back and can do it then).

A cruise is a wonderful, fabulous experience. But, you don't HAVE to do the shore excursions. The spa usually has great deals for port days. But, if you feel comfy in a plane, you could do the train excursion in Alaska. Are you ok in a movie theater? If so, see as many of the shows you can. They really are wonderful. The casino is closed in (usually no windows) and full of people. You can get a lounge chair near the pool (away from the railings). In the restaurants, sit in the middle. Did you book an inside cabin? Check out a book from the library. Go to the internet cafe. Take in some dancing lessons (or animal towel folding lessons :D ). You will have so much to do on the cruise that you may not even feel your fears :) .

Relax. You'll have a blast!

I really feel sorry for you and your phobia ... good thing you don't live where I do - we can watch our dog run away for 3 full days! I have a fear of reptiles and have literally run out of my office when one of our staff brought in his pet iguana before he knew about my phobia I've tried de-sensitizing myself by looking at ictures of snakes, lizards, etc., but it's not anything that is easy to deal with. If I had to be in an environment where I had to deal with these creatures, I'd be going to my doctor for some serious drugs to help. If you think your trip will be compromised by your phobia, by all means, seek medical help.

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. You've given me a lot to think about.

Over time, I can control my fear somewhat -- desensitizing myself to specific situations. It's new environments that get to me the worst. We are going on the Inside Passage cruise, so I think I should be alright there, since there will be plenty of mountains surrounding me (it does make a difference!). I'ld love to go whale watching, but will probably have to wait and see how I do in general before I sign up for that! My DH is drooling over the train ride is Skagway, so I'll give that a try. Asking my doc for meds (just in case) is a good suggestion too.

Looking forward to this -- somehow I'm going to enjoy myself!!! :D

I have to say to those of you that responded to PsychoCat - you guys are awesome. Very sensitive and gave great advice. One of the many reasons why I love this board!!

I'm afraid of heights. I don't like walking up the outside staircases on the ships, but I did ok. There are plenty of places you can be on a ship and feel the comfy closed in. The casino, the theatre, the on board shops for one. You actually might feel ok out at the pool. Keep in mind that most pools on the ships are closed in by windows and that even though that area is relatively open, it's sort of like being in a large room. You might not want to be on the top deck that overlooks the pool and goes to the front and back of the ship. That can be very open feeling. I think you just need to work out which areas you will feel comfortable in and which ones you won't. If you have windows and can stay indoors to see the views, then you'll do ok.

You could start slowly by going up to the top of a skyscraper. Look out the windows for two days. then see if you can find some place that you can go on the roof. Stepp out of the door only one or two feet, repeat this step at least four times. Then go out a little futher and look around. do this for several days. It will help for the cruise. You do not have to look out to sea, people watching is fun. Seat near a window and look out sometimes. Go up to the lido where there is a lot of people having fun. Seat on a chair and look across the pool to the far side. Now get up and walk over to that side and see the side you were seating on. Chose your shore ex carefully, don't try whale watching this time (you may be back and can do it then).

Nice suggestion but I have both the problem of fear of being near an open high space but also the elevator. I was once on an elevator in NYC during one of their brown out days and the car would not stop at the floors pressed just kept heading for the top of the shaft. Ever since I don't do more than three floors and use the stairs whenever possible.

On ship board I just stayed away from the rail when the ship was on open water. and I used the stairs the entire time. This had several benificial effects. No problems with the elevator and it kept the wieight gain for the 15 day druise to a meer 7 pounds.

Any chance you can do a test run? Sometimes you can find a one day sail to no where, an over night or short couple of days. That way you would have a better idea of what to expect for a longer cruise and how to prepare and handle yourself.

Hang in there. There has to be a way around this so you can go an enjoy the cruise. As another poster indicated, there are many areas in the ship where you can sit in the lounge and not have to be on a wide open deck staring at the horizon. I do think it's a good idea to consult your doctor to see if they have a suggestion of how you might take the edge of while cruising.

Let us know how you make out. We'll be pulling for you.

I have an issue with vertigo.. looking at shows on tv where they show the top of bldgs looking down my knees go weak... I will be staying on the empress deck wth a balcony 1st cruise.. I know that I will have to walk out touch the balcony rail walk back in sit down.. go back out and sit down on the balcony closest to the ship as possible.. it is scary to have any phobia.. I wish you all the best and pls inform us when you return how it all worked out for you!!! Happy cruising!:)

Well, I think an inside passage cruise is perfect for someone like you. Make sure you leave from Vancouver, the ones that leave from Seattle can have a lot more open ocean sailing. I almost felt as if we were on a river, rather than an ocean, land was always in sight. The port towns are lovely, rather closed in, when we went whale watching, land was almost always in sight. Unless you were to go on an excursion in a float plane or helicopter, you will not notice "wide, open spaces". Much of the open water sailing is done at night, when you are busy with dinner, shows, casino etc.

We all have our fears and no matter how irrational they are to others, they are real to us. I have the same fear of snakes and lizards as the above poster. No matter how much I try to look at pictures, or see them up close at zoos or other venues, I just get weak in the knees, my teeth clench and I almost start to cry when around them. But, I'm the one who will get the spiders or other bugs when all the other ladies around me are hiding in the opposite corner!

Any chance you can do a test run? Sometimes you can find a one day sail to no where, an over night or short couple of days. That way you would have a better idea of what to expect for a longer cruise and how to prepare and handle yourself.

Unfortunately, I live in the middle of the Arizona desert -- not exactly easy to find cruise ships around here! :D I know I have trouble in rowboats, but that really isn't the same thing at all!

I agree with happy ks, one of the cool things about the inside passage is that it is enclosed. It is more like going through a big river than open seas. You can almost always see land and it is really cool seeing all the waterfalls etc. as you sail by. The ports are fairly enclosed also, the shops and activities are fairly close together. The only time we were really into open ocean was the last day on the way to Anchorage and it was mostly at night. Pick your settings and you should be fine.