Traveling with a nervous person

[2bfirsttime]

Is anyone here nervous while traveling or travel with someone who is?

 

What do you do for yourself or person traveling with you to help keep them calm? Perhaps a med that takes the edge off for them?

 

I ask because my husband is a VERY nervous person in crowds, while away from home, and well.... even at home.

 

Because of this we have not taken a vacation in a few years now. I need to find some way to help keep him from being so nervous so he does not ruin the trip for us. He really will not mean to, he just can not help it. When he gets nervous he uses the bathroom a lot, and gets really edgy and says things in rash ways. Like I said he really does not mean to, its just nerves. I was considering asking our family doc to give him a little something he can take while were away from home to help take the edge off him so he can relax and enjoy himself, but I fear if I do that he will not be able to enjoy a nice coctail.

 

Any suggestions?

[Seanzie]

Now, Im not sure if your husband is just naturally like this, or if he has been places where he has experienced something that would cause this. The best route to take most of the time is medication from a doctor.

 

But it is important that he doesn't become dependent upon this medication.

[seababy28]

Hi There!

 

You can definitely get something from the doctor - but I would NOT recommend any alcohol after taking any sort of tranquillizer for anxiety.

 

I think it's important just to reassure him that he's going to be ok, etc.

 

Also, have you ever considered him going for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) - its a great tool to help individuals dealing with anxiety and panic. It helps them identify triggers and manage anxiety before it gets out of hand. I know that any kind of therapy can be seen as taboo, but I know people who have had CBT and it has changed their lives.

 

There are also anti-depressant style pills that over time reduce anxiety and can be mixed with alcohol responsibly.

 

There's also the option of trying an herbal remedy for anxiety - in the UK it's called 'rescue remedy'.

 

I hope all this was helpful, and that you and your husband will both have a wonderful cruise:rolleyes:

[5waldos]

It sounds like a good evaluation by a doctor trained in these things would help a lot but something tells me that it is not likely. Yes there are medications that might help but the first question is- would your husband take them? Does he see these nerves as being a problem? Do they make other areas of life difficult for him? Are the nerves getting worse and impacting more areas of his functioning? Without asking a lot more questions it is not clear just what kind of medication might be of most help. But whatever you do, if your doctor does give him some medication for his nerves, and I am not sure your doctor would or should do this without having your husband see a specialist, test them out at home. for the entire period of time that hubby would take them on board- a week, 10 days- whatever. Make sure that he responds in a positive way to the medication- not just for a day but for the entire period of time that he would be taking it. I cannot stress how important this is- you really don't want to be testing the medications while on vacation. There are a lot of very different medications that MIGHT be useful and without testing them for your husband you do not know whether they will help or make things worse. I am not worried about your husband getting addicted to the medications- most meds which treat these kinds of problems are NOT addicting- and it may be that some treatment would be useful not just for vacationing.

 

As far as a nice cocktail- it would depend on what kind of medication he was taking- some do NOT mix with alcohol, some it is not a problem. But it does seem that having getting to the root of the nerves might be more important than having a drink.

[2bfirsttime]

Seanzie, Unfortunatly I do believe it is in his nature to be the way he is. His mother is the same way and she herself has only been on two vacation trips in her life because of it.

 

seababy, I have a few months before we leave, I will look into the therapy, I know our insurance covers things like that. The hard part will be to get him to go ;) I will also look into the remedy you speak of. Anything natural I can get will be better than perscribed drugs. Were not big fans of those, but if I have to.... I will drag him to the doc to ask for something, anything... LOL

 

My husband is one of those people that worries about everything. He will worry about what the trip is costing him every minute of it, he will worry about work, the house burning down... you name it, and he will not be able to rest. He is one of those people that needs a vacation to get over a vacation.

[2bfirsttime]

It sounds like a good evaluation by a doctor trained in these things would help a lot but something tells me that it is not likely. Yes there are medications that might help but the first question is- would your husband take them? Does he see these nerves as being a problem? Do they make other areas of life difficult for him? Are the nerves getting worse and impacting more areas of his functioning? Without asking a lot more questions it is not clear just what kind of medication might be of most help. But whatever you do, if your doctor does give him some medication for his nerves, and I am not sure your doctor would or should do this without having your husband see a specialist, test them out at home. for the entire period of time that hubby would take them on board- a week, 10 days- whatever. Make sure that he responds in a positive way to the medication- not just for a day but for the entire period of time that he would be taking it. I cannot stress how important this is- you really don't want to be testing the medications while on vacation. There are a lot of very different medications that MIGHT be useful and without testing them for your husband you do not know whether they will help or make things worse. I am not worried about your husband getting addicted to the medications- most meds which treat these kinds of problems are NOT addicting- and it may be that some treatment would be useful not just for vacationing.

Great advice.

[5waldos]

Great advice.

 

I wish you luck- if it runs in the family there is good reason to think that there might be medications that would help your husband but the first and most difficult problem would be convincing him that he might be helped by seeing the right kind of doctor. And that would not be your family doctor- they are not trained to evaluate these kinds of problems.

[bluehenfan]

I am planning a cruise for the fall with two of my Aunts who are more like sisters because they're only a few years older than me. The 3 of us really want to invite a cousin who was part of our little group while growing up, but we know she'll be so busy worrying about noise, overeating, getting robbed in port,etc. we think she'd ruin it for all of us. It's sad because as you said, they can't help it, it's just their nature to worry about everything. Your DH should consider being on med for this problem, not just on the vacation, but all the time. It could make a big difference for him....and you too. Good luck!!

[chadci]

I get nervous about the unknown. I drive everybody crazy with my planning and research but it's my way of comforting myself. I also don't like flying but sometimes I have no choice... it's not even the flying that bothers me... my biggest fear is falling and I feel fear for the people that have fallen out of the sky in horrible accidents... but before I fly I read on flight stats and visit fear of flying websites and remind myself that it's still safer than driving and also remind myself that I'll be there in a few hours... not the next day worn out from the road.

 

Research is what works for me... learning as much as I can about any "new" situation or any possibly scary situation gets me through. Nope, no meds though I have thought about xanax for flying, once the plane gets off the ground and I know I cannot get off I relax and calm down... but I'm able to hold it together pretty well until then... just lots of sweating and leg shaking ;)

[mykdsmom]

There is a supplement that you can buy at any good health food store that works pretty well. It is called Theanine and is a amino acid derivative commonly found in green tea and it helps boost Serotonin levels in the brain. As a bonus it helps boost the immune system. I've used this myself and my teen son has a lot social anxiety and I recently started him on it. I took 200mg per day.

 

From Wikipedia: Able to cross the blood-brain barrier, theanine has psychoactive properties. Theanine has been shown to reduce mental and physical stress, and improves cognition and mood in a synergistic manner with caffeine.

[cb at sea]

Sounds like he needs therapy--not just a "pill" for vacations! Agoraphobia (is that it?) is when folks don't want to or can't be out of their "comfort zone"...they rarely go out in public or crowds and when they do, they suffer anxiety attacks.....sounds like your hubby. There are treatments for it, and medication, but the therapy is what will really help, in the long run.

[crzndeb]

A cruise message board is probably not the best place to be asking. This could be a medical or psychological issue and really should be addressed by a professional in that field. What may work for one person who has anxiety issues, may harm another person. I know this can be debilitating, so please ask him to see a professional and be diagnosed properly. He may not think it is really a big deal, but it sounds like you believe it is. Maybe it will just be getting on a good exercise and eating routine, but let the doctor decide that. Good luck...

[cruisinJenF]

As someone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder- I feel for your husband. I had the exact same problem- couldnt go anywhere without a full on panic attack and couldnt be more than a minute away from a bathroom. Its horrible and it does make travel impossible. I didnt go anywhere for 7 years. Finally I went to the Dr and went on medication. It was a lifesaver!! I now have my 3rd and 4th cruise booked and I have been all kinds of new places! Its amazing and liberating!!!

 

I take daily medication and then have a presciption for an anxiety medication that I keep with me all the time. If I feel a panic attack coming on (and he will know) then I take one. In the beginning while waiting for the medication to kick in I needed these more. Now I only need them if I will be around a large group of people.

 

I can drink alcohol and have had no side effects from anything. And I tried therapy and that did not work at all- medication is what I needed and thank god for it! Have him go see his Dr.

[broberts]

I hope that you have booked a balcony. This will give him the opportunity to experience the joys of cruising without having to be surrounded by people.

 

If you are dining in the MDR, be 5 - 10 minutes late. That way you should avoid the inevitable lineup of hungry people. If you are dining anywhere else pick times that are less busy.

 

In ports, either book the first excursion and get off the ship early or wait for an hour or so after people start getting off. When returning to the ship get back at least 1 1/2 hours before it leaves - to avoid the lineup.

 

Upon your return, once again be first or last off the ship. First is probably better in this instance but that typically means you have to take your luggage off yourself and you may end up with a crowd behind you waiting to get off.

 

Use the stairs as much as possible, especially around meal & show times. The elevators can get real busy.

 

As to meds, your family doctor should be consulted. There are medications that might be appropriate.

[TamLaiSang]

Seanzie, Unfortunatly I do believe it is in his nature to be the way he is. His mother is the same way and she herself has only been on two vacation trips in her life because of it.

 

seababy, I have a few months before we leave, I will look into the therapy, I know our insurance covers things like that. The hard part will be to get him to go ;) I will also look into the remedy you speak of. Anything natural I can get will be better than perscribed drugs. Were not big fans of those, but if I have to.... I will drag him to the doc to ask for something, anything... LOL

 

My husband is one of those people that worries about everything. He will worry about what the trip is costing him every minute of it, he will worry about work, the house burning down... you name it, and he will not be able to rest. He is one of those people that needs a vacation to get over a vacation.

 

You got quite a bit of great advice. As a mental health professional, I have had quite a bit of success using CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to treat patients with these symptoms, and in some more extreme cases, have used CBT in conjunction with medication.

 

We often live with problems when we don't have to. I remember spending years with back pain before I finally visited a doctor about it. After a few weeks of simple stretching exercises, I never experienced back pain again. At the time, I wondered why it took me so many years to finally get help for a problem that caused me great pain (Sometimes even loss of work because I couldn't get out of bed) and yet, took me very little time to fix.

 

These may be issues your husband has lived with his entire life, but they are very treatable, and could possibly be resolved in a matter of months or even weeks.

 

Good luck!

[Sherman Oaks]

Is anyone here nervous while traveling or travel with someone who is?

 

 

 

I ask because my husband is a VERY nervous person in crowds, while away from home, and well.... even at home.

 

 

 

I'm always apprehensive of travel, the getting there is the big thing with me. Something will happen to make me miss the flight or miss the ship. It's irrational I know I'm doing it but still it's there. Seeing calm people around me helps a lot.

 

On our last cruise, we took a friend who had a full on phobia about cruise ships. She couldn't say why but it was so bad she thought she was going to be sick to their stomach at the prospect of entering the ship. I had to hold her hand as she covered her eyes and basically pulled her on board crying.

Full on panic attack.

 

Once we were walking around she was much better and by next day she was on the sports deck looking out to the horizon. Now she can't wait to go again.

 

I don't have a fear of crowds, I just hate them. I hate standing in *long* lines too. So while not the same as your husband, I certainly understand and believe what he's going through.

 

I wish him well, I'd say he'd be happier in the long run without helper drugs, just doing it himself. I also recommend he see a Dr. (like others) and then have a fun cruise.

[Traveler353]

Is anyone here nervous while traveling or travel with someone who is?

 

What do you do for yourself or person traveling with you to help keep them calm? Perhaps a med that takes the edge off for them?

 

I ask because my husband is a VERY nervous person in crowds, while away from home, and well.... even at home.

 

Because of this we have not taken a vacation in a few years now. I need to find some way to help keep him from being so nervous so he does not ruin the trip for us. He really will not mean to, he just can not help it. When he gets nervous he uses the bathroom a lot, and gets really edgy and says things in rash ways. Like I said he really does not mean to, its just nerves. I was considering asking our family doc to give him a little something he can take while were away from home to help take the edge off him so he can relax and enjoy himself, but I fear if I do that he will not be able to enjoy a nice coctail.

 

Any suggestions?

 

Not going to pretend to offer medical advice. That is what real doctors are for, not internet strangers. But rum works for me.:D

[hkbragg]

one word - XANAX

[In2why]

I suffer from anxiety attacks and after trying therapy and white knuckling it for about 20 years while not really enjoying myself, just surviving, I decided to try xanax. It can be habit forming and shouldn't be used for general anxiety but if I am going way outside my comfort zone I take it. Sometimes just knowing I have it if I need it is enough. Now I wish I had done it sooner and not allowed myself to suffer for so long. Have your husband talk to his doctor. He can get a very weak prescription and even start by taking half of that to see if it is enough to relieve his nervousness. They work very quickly. Hope he is able to enjoy himself, and you are right, it isn't something that he wants to feel.

[Kaboochi]

There is a supplement that you can buy at any good health food store that works pretty well. It is called Theanine and is a amino acid derivative commonly found in green tea and it helps boost Serotonin levels in the brain. As a bonus it helps boost the immune system. I've used this myself and my teen son has a lot social anxiety and I recently started him on it. I took 200mg per day.

 

From Wikipedia: Able to cross the blood-brain barrier, theanine has psychoactive properties. Theanine has been shown to reduce mental and physical stress, and improves cognition and mood in a synergistic manner with caffeine.

I think OP needs to get DH to a licensed doc for help, be it therapy or medication. Your advice may be the right way to go but I would stress that OP talk to a doctor before taking the step suggested here. Just my opinion.

 

2B, I hope you are able to get DH to see a doctor so that he and you enjoy the trip. It can't be easy, my dad is the same way and I know what you are going through. Keep planning that trip and read all you can on the boards to find fun places to visit on the ship with or w/o anyone else. I hope all works out and that you and DN have a wonderful cruise

[ILUVCRUZEN]

Also, this may sound silly but it does work. Bring some items from home to have in the cabin so the cabin will feel familiar. If he has a favorite blanket you can ask the room steward to put it on the bed when he makes the bed up. A favorite pillow or even a pillow case that he is used to seeing at home when he gets into bed, bring it and put it on his pillow in the cabin. A few pictures placed around the cabin. Bring some favorite magazines and lay them around the room or in the bathroom. If you use a certain air freshner at home, bring it (NO CANDLES) so the scent will be familiar. This does really help.:)

[HoosierCruisin79]

Is anyone here nervous while traveling or travel with someone who is?

 

What do you do for yourself or person traveling with you to help keep them calm? Perhaps a med that takes the edge off for them?

 

I ask because my husband is a VERY nervous person in crowds, while away from home, and well.... even at home.

 

Because of this we have not taken a vacation in a few years now. I need to find some way to help keep him from being so nervous so he does not ruin the trip for us. He really will not mean to, he just can not help it. When he gets nervous he uses the bathroom a lot, and gets really edgy and says things in rash ways. Like I said he really does not mean to, its just nerves. I was considering asking our family doc to give him a little something he can take while were away from home to help take the edge off him so he can relax and enjoy himself, but I fear if I do that he will not be able to enjoy a nice coctail.

 

Any suggestions?

 

Simple Remedy.... DOD... Lots of them!:D

[2bfirsttime]

Thanks everyone, we have an appointment this Friday with a therapist. I am praying it works, if not we can always get some medicated help. I had to laugh at the bathroom comment, not becuase it was funny, but becuase it was something we experience EVERY DAY. Even getting ready for work sends him to the bathroom. I am dedicated to helping him resolve some of his issues, he REALLY needs to learn to relax.