Cruise 'Snobs'

[aldewitt]

...

 

When was the last time you told the parents sitting beside you at dinner that their kids were well behaved? We need to make more compliments and less complaints.

 

 

 

Two weeks ago on an Airtran flight from Atlanta to Pensacola. Great kid. Great parent.

[cruisebunnies]

When the wife and I were on our 1st cruise last month, we found that generally, most passengers were very friendly toward us, but, there were a few occassions when we were felt to feel 'lower class', for example, eating in the windjammer on Indy one night, we both decided to have something a burger.

 

On a table nearby, there were a group of people, tutting, and muttering under their breath about "these young people always eating junk food!" (we're both in our 30's, and this was the only time, apart from JR's we ate burgers!)

 

Another time, my wife was told to "Shut up, girl!" by a woman reading, when she was talking to someone else by the pool. Others were complaining about the amount of 'young people and families'. It seemed to me that some of these people felt that cruising was the reserve of the upper classes, and the more 'senior' folk. I even said to one that if they felt that way, don't book a cruise on a ship like Indy, which is a family-ship.

 

do others experience this? Or is it a rare thing?

 

I think we are confusing rudeness with snobbery.The definition from the Oxford dictionary of snob:

 

"a person with a exagerrated respect for wealth or social standing,a person who is condecending to others who they consider inferior,anyone who is a passenger on any cruise ship."

 

I added the last bit myself!

[CruiseKeeper]

As an American, I have to tell you, that's not been my experience. You can find rude people anywhere. Nationality is not a prerequisite. When we went to London for four days in early 2001, we never met anyone who wasn't terrific. And I can honestly say on the cruises, etc., we've only had really good results with people from other countries.

 

Now, with Americans... ugh... not so much.

 

From our formal night aboard the Carnival Inspiration a few years back, when asking if the gentlemen sitting at our table was going to wear a jacket to dinner:

 

"I'm from Texas. I took off my hat and put on my boots, and this is as damned dressed up as I'm gonna get."

 

I wanted to say "well, thank you for that my friend, you've just demonstrated why the rest of the world really doesn't care too much for us." The guy sounded just like a certain recent elected official from the same state (but he could dress himself, so we knew it wasn't him).

 

Now, with Americans... ugh... not so much.

So which is it? Does rudeness have a nationality or not? You don't get to have it both ways.

[temple1]

My son was pushing the Door Close button on the elevator whenever someone left, and a man actually slapped his hand and growled not to touch the elevator buttons. I was so shocked and horrified that I couldn't really react until after he left.

 

lol - Sounds like some old guy who had encountered one too many kids pushing all the buttons.

 

I would have been shocked also and like you would have been sputtering unable to say anything - but some of the responses to your post seem to be somewhat over the top.

[Sherry84]

Rudeness certainly isn't exclusive to any cruise brand or country, it's all over the place.

 

I work part time in a retail store and it's a good thing I'm not sensitive, the way people respond to you when you are asking if they need assistance. You would think a simple "no thank you" would work, but many choose to be rude instead. I then just ignore them until they come to me with a question. I kill them with kindness, figuring they may just end up feeling a bit guilty for being so rude to me upon my greeting. I'm not about to play their game and argue with them, it only makes me feel bad afterward.

 

I realize people like to be left alone and respect that. But people also have to realize that sales clerks are required to welcome and ask if a person needs help, or has a question. We are also required to keep an eye on shoppers, otherwise the whole store may walk out the door (you should watch the videos sometimes....all those nice things that end up on ebay (NWT!!!).

 

Tha vast majority of people are nice, but the rude jerks always stand out in your memory. It should be the other way around.

 

 

Having worked in retail for 18 years now I agree. Oh boy the things I've seen and heard! I work in a restaurant now and have had people actually get mad at me for holding the door for them (this is part of my job) or because I ask, "how are you today?". I can understand they could be having a bad day, but getting angry at me?, I don't get it. So I just keep smiling and kill them with kindness like a lot of you said. The wonderful people I have meet have more than made up for the nasty ones. Happy cruising everyone! :)

[Submariner]

Having worked in retail for 18 years now I agree. Oh boy the things I've seen and heard! I work in a restaurant now and have had people actually get mad at me for holding the door for them (this is part of my job) or because I ask, "how are you today?". I can understand they could be having a bad day, but getting angry at me?, I don't get it. So I just keep smiling and kill them with kindness like a lot of you said. The wonderful people I have meet have more than made up for the nasty ones. Happy cruising everyone! :)

 

Actually I am one of those that get annoyed by that. It irritates me to no end at the phony, fake greetings that people say in stores. I feel like saying 'Do you really care?' Its a symptom of plastic fakeness that permeates in retail and service today. After you hear that one too many times, you get a littel pissed off..

 

Almost as bad as the 'Management apologizes for the inconvenience caused ...' default added as a signature at the end of them doing something to piss you off .... :rolleyes:

Edited August 6, 2010 by Submariner

[drrich2]

When was the last time you told the parents sitting beside you at dinner that their kids were well behaved? We need to make more compliments and less complaints.

 

It's interesting the range of reactions and perspectives people bring to things. Parents tend to appreciate such compliments. Long ago, when I was a kid, I would've interpreted it something like 'Why, your child is so docile and compliant! You've broken his will and programmed him to suit other people so well!' And I might've found a way to annoy the compliment-giver. Speaking to my parents about me as though I weren't there, in a patronizing way, complimenting them for how I was acting as though I were an exceptionally well-trained animal would've rubbed me the wrong way.

 

I'm a bit cynical. I've long wondered how many other kids react that way, though.

 

Richard.

[Host Jacquelyn]

It's interesting the range of reactions and perspectives people bring to things. Parents tend to appreciate such compliments. Long ago, when I was a kid, I would've interpreted it something like 'Why, your child is so docile and compliant! You've broken his will and programmed him to suit other people so well!' And I might've found a way to annoy the compliment-giver. Speaking to my parents about me as though I weren't there, in a patronizing way, complimenting them for how I was acting as though I were an exceptionally well-trained animal would've rubbed me the wrong way.

 

I'm a bit cynical. I've long wondered how many other kids react that way, though.

 

Richard.

 

That's interesting. I have had many strangers come up to me to tell me how well behaved my kids are, but some will actually go up to the kids and let them know what a good job they are doing. They are really quite proud to get the compliment. Granted, my eldest is only 7, and who knows if this will be the same story when they are older.

[drrich2]

I imagine one factor is how the kids regard the 'subordinate citizen' status factor. For comparison, imagine if, while sitting in the main dining room, a man commented to another man how well-behaved his wife was. Ah, that could make for quite a show...:D

 

Richard.

[Cruzface]

That's interesting. I have had many strangers come up to me to tell me how well behaved my kids are, but some will actually go up to the kids and let them know what a good job they are doing. They are really quite proud to get the compliment. Granted, my eldest is only 7, and who knows if this will be the same story when they are older.

 

When our kids were about 10 and 8, we were in a nice restaurant with my sister and brother-in-law. The hostess sat the adults at one table and the kids at a separate table by themselves very close to a middle aged couple. We didn't think twice because the kids just colored and ate like little gentlemen. After dinner, the middle aged couple came to our table and told us how impressed they were at our boys behavior. My wife is still smiling...

[Alrana Eris]

I worked in a high end retail most of my life. Not only I experienced rudeness but the treatment as if I was their "paid servant" and I just kill them with kindness. And I look at this way their issues not mine. There is a funny book I read about retail one of my co-workers gave it to me as a gift a couple years back. It tell you how to deal with rudeness. Funny stuff but I also got a few tips that really do work. B&N and amazon sell it

 

Pretending To Care- the Retail Employee Handbook by Norm Feuti

[THEWIFE]

To me, the worst kind of cruise snobs are the ones that share your table in the MDR and all they talk about for the length of the cruise is which cruises they have taken and which ones they are planning. Bores me to tears.

As far as old people being rude, unfortunately, (and I am not a youngster myself) some seniors feel that old age is something they've EARNED that deserves a prize. I'm not too thrilled with them myself!:(

[Don Pedro]

Being that my wife and I are both seniors we are probably a little overly sensitive to the "rude group" label that many of you seem intent on using as an identifier for us oldsters.

 

We are sure that most of you recognize elements of poor behavior in all age groups. Not just among us seniors. As we age many of us may experience physical or mental changes that affect our personalities and the patience necessary for raising a family and dealing with people may no longer be a strong attribute.

 

Some of you expressed the belief that seniors think they have "earned the right to be rude". Perhaps in some cases that is true but we suspect in most instances there are other factors involved. If someone truly believes that they have a right to be rude there are probably some deep seated emotional problems involved.

 

This thread started about snobs and like most threads evolved into something else. Namely rudeness. We think that many of the experiences that have been described might better be described with terms such as boring, thoughtless and abusive

 

Others may see it differently but we tend to classify rudeness as either an accidental or an intentional act. If someone cuts in front of me in a line they could be rude or perhaps they just didn't think before cutting in. Most of us have had instances where our mind took a short vacation. What many people refer to as a "senior moment". Incidently, we've witnessed quite a few younger folks prematurely using up their share of senior moments!

 

Back to our line buster, if I call it to their attention they may profusely apoligize or they might escalate the situation to abusiveness.

 

We've encountered many types of people. The vast majority have been interesting thoughtful folks that we've enjoyed meeting. Sometimes first impressions are wrong. We've meet people who had snobish aura who were anything but snobs when we got to know them. Sometimes people who seem to be boring have amazing life stories.

 

Occasionally we've met a true snob, but to be honest we usually have a lot of fun dealing with them. Thoughtless people often tend to be a little ditzy and are often a joy to be around.

 

So, people may be snobish, thoughtless, rude, abusive, boring. We can excuse all but intentional rudeness and abusiveness.

[Kunane]

Very well said Don Pedro.

[Sherry84]

Actually I am one of those that get annoyed by that. It irritates me to no end at the phony, fake greetings that people say in stores. I feel like saying 'Do you really care?' Its a symptom of plastic fakeness that permeates in retail and service today. After you hear that one too many times, you get a littel pissed off..

 

Almost as bad as the 'Management apologizes for the inconvenience caused ...' default added as a signature at the end of them doing something to piss you off .... :rolleyes:

 

Wow someone's in a mood today :rolleyes: Just to let you know I'm never phony, I genuinely enjoying interacting with and meeting new people that's why I do what I do. Like I said the majority of people are very pleasant and friendly. Now which category would you be in? Hmmm...no comment.

Edited August 6, 2010 by Sherry84

[Submariner]

Wow someone's in a mood today :rolleyes: Just to let you know I'm never phony, I genuinely enjoying interacting with and meeting new people that's why I do what I do. Like I said the majority of people are very pleasant and friendly. Now which category would you be in? Hmmm...no comment.

 

Sorry! I guess I am not as naive as you are. Thats ok. Its not a fault - just an exception. While there are many cheerful and happy people like yourself who deserve an equal reciprocation there are many 'drones' in the service industry who have glazed or robotic mannerisms that look like Stepford Wives as they act all cheery and plastic when they greet you with a 'Howya all doing today'?

 

Oh an on the subject of things that piss me off. Here's another:

 

People who say 'No comment' then they clearly have one but lack the guts and the fortitude to say it! :cool:

[THEWIFE]

Don Pedro, that was well said. Unfortunately, when a bad encounter is had by a younger person from an older one, that is the encounter that is remembered from the younger one. Yes, young people can certainly be rude, but I PERSONALLY find that it IS the older people that have the attitude, and although mentally I feel like I am still seventeen, the truth is that I am not. On vacation, my attitude is upbeat 99.9% of the time, as is most people. There are definitely people that embark with an attitude and are always "ready for a fight". For example, I've had a senior yell at me in the WJ, before we even left port, because my chair was out too far. She could just as easily asked me nicely to move in. I moved in, anyway, without answering her because I did not go on a cruise to argue with anyone. I've sat at tables with seniors who clearly had physical issues, such as my own husband, who is consistently pleasant and will make you laugh so hard at your table, that you cannot swallow your food. I've also sat near a man in a wheelchair who yelled at the waiter when he offered to help him establish himself closer to the table. If that wasn't enough, his (apparently) healthy wife thought I belonged to a certain religious/ethnic group, of which I do not, and began to badmouth my own religious group. As soon as she finished her first sentence, I broke in and informed her that I am of that religion, and although everyone else at the table (the MDR at lunchtime) looked aghast :eek: , she paused, and continued on. I was able to end the discussion without an argument. I could easily have gotten into that, but I have more class and manners than to lower myself to her level and make people of my religion all look as low as she made herself look. Unfortunately, when I recall the incident, I recall it was coming from seniors. Yes, young people could have done the very same things as they did, but usually have more respect for older people. Unfortunately, it seems to be a part of the "It's Coming to Me Generation".

As for the comment to Submariner: you probably aren't aware of the fact that most retailers require their employees to greet and make eye contact with everyone who enters the shop. This cuts down on 50% of theft.

[Submariner]

As for the comment to Submariner: you probably aren't aware of the fact that most retailers require their employees to greet and make eye contact with everyone who enters the shop. This cuts down on 50% of theft.

 

Hmmm... so that just confirms my point in that the greeting isn't genuine - but rather based on an ulterior motive and that is to play the numbers game to decrease shrinkage.

 

Did management say ' Lets greet our customers to show we care that they took the time to shop here' or rather did they say' Hmm...we can reduce our theft by applying a little psychology here'... Again with the phoniness.

 

Hey, sorry to hijack this thread. I wont say another word ..:D

[guk]

On the IOS transatlantic we experianced 2 episodes or rudeness, the first directed at our DD aged 3 at the time, she enjoyed dancing in one of the open bars where there was live music and a small dance floor for 1 or 2 songs each evening, every evenig she did this on both of our cruises and every night except for one there would be people of all ages stopping and watching her saying how cute she looked and often some ladies would get up and dance with her, we never let her stay for longer than 2 songs as more often than not we were just passing from dinner to a show or vice versa, but when the music was playing she could never resist dancing when we walked by. One night in particular we were stood by the side watching her dance as a couple came up to say how they enjoyed watching her dance and having such fun when a lady (over 70) came marching over and started shouting at us pointing at her watch, we did not have a clue what she was saying as she didn't speak english but guessed it was something to do with the fact we shouldn't be letting our DD dance there at that time of night. This myself and my husband both just let her have her say however on getting our DD and moving onto the show she wanted to know why the nasty lady was shouting at mummy and daddy and would not go onto the dancefloor alone again for the rest of the holiday.

 

The 2nd episode was when I was getting a couple of plates of food from the cafe and had 2 plates one with some sandwiches and 1 with some cookies at 10pm at night, someone had the nerve to turn round and ask me if i thought i was going to starve and did i really need to get all that food immediately after dinner, unfortunately I was so gobsmacked how someone could be so rude and abrupt to someone thy didn't know i didn't bother responding. The truth being that myself and my husband had to leave our late dining meal without having any dinner as our DD wasn't very well that night our waiter did offer to have our dinner sent to our room but we thought that we would just get something from the WJ, unfrotunately it was the night of the midnight buffet so when we had finally sorted our DD out and into bed the WJ was closed and neither of us wanted to wait until midnight so thought the best othe option to us so we could stay in the cabin with our DD was the cafe.

[dlugo1]

wrong thread!

Edited August 6, 2010 by dlugo1

[Sherry84]

Sorry! I guess I am not as naive as you are. Thats ok. Its not a fault - just an exception. While there are many cheerful and happy people like yourself who deserve an equal reciprocation there are many 'drones' in the service industry who have glazed or robotic mannerisms that look like Stepford Wives as they act all cheery and plastic when they greet you with a 'Howya all doing today'?

 

Oh an on the subject of things that piss me off. Here's another:

 

People who say 'No comment' then they clearly have one but lack the guts and the fortitude to say it! :cool:

 

Thank you so much for all the lovely complements, you seem to know me so well even though we've never met. :)

[BillOh]

I'm with you! sorry but a slap is assault

 

I'll come in between the two of you. If it was me, I would let the guy know he's lucky when on vacation I am trying hard to have a good time, otherwise he would have been in for a world of hurt, smile and say "Good day"

[BillOh]

I worked in a high end retail most of my life. Not only I experienced rudeness but the treatment as if I was their "paid servant" and I just kill them with kindness.

 

Not to get the thread too far off track, but I've seen retail and food service brought up in this manner several times, for valid reasons. I spent 20+ years, from the birth of the personal computer till around 2007 in the desktop support role and was considered one of the best. A small percentage of office workers would treat us the and your above guidance worked. I did have one try to blame me for their loss of important work related data to their boss, not knowing her boss would check with mine. I'm the master of CYA :)

[BillOh]

To me, the worst kind of cruise snobs are the ones that share your table in the MDR and all they talk about for the length of the cruise is which cruises they have taken and which ones they are planning. Bores me to tears.

As far as old people being rude, unfortunately, (and I am not a youngster myself) some seniors feel that old age is something they've EARNED that deserves a prize. I'm not too thrilled with them myself!:(

 

I guess the key is the word ALL, which I highlighted from your message. When tablemates brought up TA cruises, back to back cruises, med cruises, or Southern Carib. cruises, I listen carefully, ask questions, as I'm genuinely interested which usually pleases them immensely.

Edited August 6, 2010 by BillOh

[BillOh]

As we age many of us may experience physical or mental changes that affect our personalities and the patience necessary for raising a family and dealing with people may no longer be a strong attribute.

 

 

I was beginning to get annoyed with my mom because of this. Now, I wish she was alive so I could hear it again.