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Life Aboard the Crown...and (Near) Death as Well...Seven Days of Excitement

SailorJack

By SailorJack,
in Princess Cruises

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JohnGaltny

JohnGaltny

Posted
Posted

Jack you are just AMAZING. Won't you please join me and my travelling freak show on the GEM on April 30?

 

A few highlights (subtitle - things that made me spit my coffee)

 

SailorJill was wearing a black leather bustier, a pair of black leather shorts that laced up the back, black fishnet stockings and five inch stiletto heels

I love the outfits you buy her. On our Alaska cruise for our 25th Anniversary, Mrs Galt wore some lingerie from the Victoria Secret "25th" collection. Sweat pants, two shirts, a windbreaker and a bra with two combination locks have never looked so good.

As I have reported more than once, I am somewhat loath to discuss politics with people that I have just met, but sometimes such discussions can be real eye-openers.

Next time feel free to use my standard line as follows: "Not being a liberal, I actually know very little about things I know nothing about".

“Shake your booty, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY!” To this day I have no idea what booty is, but apparently it is not your middle finger.

See, reading your stuff is not just hysterical, it teaches me things. I would have assumed the same as you.

Our daughter Alexis (we named her that because if we hadn’t had her we could be driving one)

Many years ago, we traded our 30 foot cabin cruiser for what turned out to be a 6'1 210 pound college tuition. I'm still not sure about that one but the fact is that we could cruise 6 times a year for less that the cost of beer and cold cuts on my boat.

That was the lounge that was occupied by the girl in the orange thong bikini. She could have left to go to graduate school and the five guys sitting next to her would have guarded her lounge till the cows came home.

As you know I photograph models as a hobby and my camera transforms into a convincing replica of a 9mm Glock. Nuff said.

 

As always, Jack thank you for the highlight of my day. PLEASE consider April on the GEM with me. Between us we can definitely do some damage to the ship, this board and our livers.:D

 

 

 

 

 

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Moons31

Moons31

Posted
Posted

Jack. If you ever get a book published let me know. You are an amazing writer. You capture your subjects and lead us right into your world as if we were standing next to you. You have a rare gift. Jill is a lucky woman.

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Times Prince

Times Prince

Posted
Posted

SailorJack,

Yet another one of your reivews that takes several days to read. :D Not that they are too long, but rather we are in tears laughing and can no longer see the screen.

 

We just have to come up for air ! (Oh, did I use a bad word?)

 

Mrs.Prince asked if we had ever cruised with you, which I am sure we would have remembered, but alas not yet. She did propose that if it comes to cruising with you (with your experiences) or going to see our first born grandchildren, the decision will be tough.

 

... and your last sentence is so true. ;)

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kath00

kath00

Posted
Posted

Why Princess doesn't just outright hire you to write reviews is beyond me! Instead of those pathetic "bucket list" blogs, they NEED you on their ships (like John Heald of Carnival). Of course, a permanent freebie balcony cabin should be included.

 

Superb review. Best I have read on CC. Spewed my hot soup all over my Powerbook. Repair bill coming your way via Fed Ex tomorrow...

 

Katherine

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Seabourn-nail

Seabourn-nail

Posted
Posted

SailorJack, I found the link to your interview on Facebook this morning, because a friend of mine thought it was not to be missed..... and even though I was reluctant to read it all at first, I'm glad I did! It is hilarious.... You must be a professional writer. If not: Be one soon! Thanks! (I am going to share it on my Facebook wall as well).

Marja from Holland

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Seabourn-nail

Seabourn-nail

Posted
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SailorJack, I found the link to your review on Facebook this morning, because a friend of mine thought it was not to be missed..... and even though I was reluctant to read it all at first, I'm glad I did! It is hilarious.... You must be a professional writer. If not: Be one soon! Thanks! (I am going to share it on my Facebook wall as well).

Marja from Holland

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SailorJack

SailorJack

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SailorJack,

Your review has to be one of the best written and wittiest reviews I've ever read! I've already linked this thread to facebook!

 

Host Dan

 

Thank you for the compliment! Some posters have already indicated that they followed your link.:)

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SailorJack

SailorJack

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SailorJack,

We just have to come up for air ! (Oh, did I use a bad word?)

 

... and your last sentence is so true. ;)

 

Ouch!! Now that hurt.:D:D

 

Maybe Tina looked down from the MUTS screen and also sent the subliminal message "Simply The Best".

It was.

Great writing and the funniest cruise review that I've ever read.:D

 

Another Tina fan! Thank you.:)

 

 

 

And a thanks to all of the other posters who have posted such warm messages. As I have mentioned before, I am not a writer, but simply someone who enjoys cruising and looks at the humorous side of this delightful past-time.

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skippyy

skippyy

Posted
Posted

Yo Ho Ho...I have been reading your escapades (French for escape ?)for quite some time. Currently impressed/entertained to the degree that I have decided to be Sailorjack in "my next life":eek: In anticipation of this great event (partially due to boring life), I was wondering if you might

assist me in preparing myself ? The following items/information would be

most helpful to me during transition: a financial statement ( while I am convinced there will be a substantial improvement in my living standards, my wife asserts we are part of a caste system, I"m curious as to just how much squandering (Italian for peeing away of money) I will be able to afford. Recent, revealing pictures of SailorJill would help to pass the days

while awaiting my reincarnation:) Against my better judgement, I have begun a regimen of rum with the initial ration at 8:00 a.m. Your posts would suggest that you have trained extensively (lessons from Dean Martin ?) when it comes to alcohol (sp ?) consumption.So much to learn and so little time. Might need your curriculum vitae, physical with history of socially transmitted diseases (bad form but had to ask) and arrest record. I am especially interested in transgressions on foreign soil where

you have familiarity with tribal legal systems.Desparately hoping to have

teeth in my next life (current choppers were mail order), safe to assume that you have some ? er, do you ever wear spandex ? Thank you for sharing your incredible wit with us....don't forget the picures of Sailorjill, is it true she's up for Sainthood ? with great admiration and anticipation, I remain, your humble servant.Skippyy.

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SailorJack

SailorJack

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Yo Ho Ho...I have been reading your escapades (French for escape ?)for quite some time. Currently impressed/entertained to the degree that I have decided to be Sailorjack in "my next life":eek: In anticipation of this great event (partially due to boring life), I was wondering if you might

assist me in preparing myself ? The following items/information would be

most helpful to me during transition: a financial statement ( while I am convinced there will be a substantial improvement in my living standards, my wife asserts we are part of a caste system, I"m curious as to just how much squandering (Italian for peeing away of money) I will be able to afford. Recent, revealing pictures of SailorJill would help to pass the days

while awaiting my reincarnation:) Against my better judgement, I have begun a regimen of rum with the initial ration at 8:00 a.m. Your posts would suggest that you have trained extensively (lessons from Dean Martin ?) when it comes to alcohol (sp ?) consumption.So much to learn and so little time. Might need your curriculum vitae, physical with history of socially transmitted diseases (bad form but had to ask) and arrest record. I am especially interested in transgressions on foreign soil where

you have familiarity with tribal legal systems.Desparately hoping to have

teeth in my next life (current choppers were mail order), safe to assume that you have some ? er, do you ever wear spandex ? Thank you for sharing your incredible wit with us....don't forget the picures of Sailorjill, is it true she's up for Sainthood ? with great admiration and anticipation, I remain, your humble servant.Skippyy.

 

I don't think your transition will talke all that long...the tenor of your post indicates that you are almost there!:D I may have to reevaluate my take on Alabama.

 

SailorJill is in the process of editing our photos and has promised to leave at least one with her in it. Hope to post them over the week-end or by Monday at the latest.

 

 

SailorJack...very concerned about your rum diet. Tried it for 2 days and got so drunk....I dreamed about my wife:eek:

 

Now that's funny!:D:D

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ASeaPrincess1

ASeaPrincess1

Posted
Posted

I always grin in anticipation when I see a "Sailor Jack" review.........and I am never disappointed.

 

I have all your reviews in a Word file so I can access them any time I need a good laugh. I also share them with friends in time of need.

 

Thank you for all your stories! :D

 

(And give my regards to Sailor Jill. She deserves a medal!) ;)

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skippyy

skippyy

Posted
Posted

Anxiously awaiting SailorJack's compilation (from personal experience) of articles on Pagan ?, Pagaen ? mating rituals. (Obviously should spend time in dictionary learning to spell the darn word).Further understand that Warner Bros. has purchased movie rights and will cast Harrison Ford as the lead. Certainly time that Sailorjack be recognized as the Prince of Pundit on these boards (Pundit being a small country off the coast of Poland). To quote that great American Ned Beatty-"row faster" (re: movie deliverance). Full speed ahead for Sailorjack to become comedic ambassador ( I have no idea what that means ) for this board and receive

wonderful things for free in return for sharing his (and don't forget sailorjill's) true adventures while casting about the high seas. If we don't keep him cruising, I fear we shall lose his literary contributions. P.S. Sailorjack, I'm ashamed of myself for allowing you to con me into this post

but having expended wife's dowery (her father is a plumber) I desparately

need the stingy compensation you promised. I remain, your (still unpaid)

servant....

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