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Life Aboard the Crown...and (Near) Death as Well...Seven Days of Excitement

SailorJack

By SailorJack,
in Princess Cruises

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mytime53

mytime53

Posted
Posted

I look forward to your "reviews", and this one was no exception! We should all pay you to travel and then entertain us when you return! Actually, you should be the onboard entertainment--people would never get tired of listening to you.

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Wineshipper

Wineshipper

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Just one suggestion, you need to start your reviews with a warning to remove all food and beverages from around the computer. Now trying to remove coffee from between the keys with the Binford 1000 wet or dry vac.

 

Thank you so much for sharing.

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cruiseron36

cruiseron36

Posted
Posted

Since everyone is in the mood, I dug this old review out of my archives which was posted on CC years ago.

 

Let us start by saying we didn't expect much of a cruise because of all the negative comments so we were glad when it came off as well as it did. Our flight to the pier was great, sure glad we arranged it thru Princess, we were going from Phoenix to LA but would never had seen Portland, Memphis, Boston and Cleveland if we had booked the flight our selves and saved the silly little $1700 each extra it cost us thru the line. We were grateful for every layover, every late plane, TSA scan, did you know that body cavity searches can make a day seem much shorter?

 

All in all we we made the 400 miles in just under 37 hours. Thanks Princess.

 

Embarkation, we again were lucky, Most people didn't get there 3 days in advance, being in line Wednesday for a Saturday embarkation gets you a great perspective on the inner workings of a pier, you meet the nicest homeless people and the aerobic benefits derived from "playing" with the guard dogs at night was great. We didn't get much to eat for the three days but did wrestle half an egg mcmuffin from a sea gull on day two and that was real highlight.

 

On Saturday, our “less than acceptable†hygiene got us “assisted†by security for a few hours while the late arrivals got check in numbers and by the time we got done with the hose and brush squad we had boarding numbers 2900 and 2901, we were happy for it, they sure were pretty cards. The ship was only 14 hours late, and as we were already experts at getting along at the pier we got great spots in the less stinky dumpster for our nights sleep. Thanks Princess for recycling, aluminum is suprisingly comfy and not as sticky as normal trash.

 

Sunday we got in line to get our key cards, it took only a few hours and the fact that our credit cards were all cut up by accident because of a communications error was really a godsend, we had nearly $27. in cash and that kept spending low on the ship. Our cabin assignment was a little “blurry†according to the nice people who worked behind the counter and after calling DEA on us ONLY twice for suspicious paperwork they got us a lovely cabin on the Zed deck. This is a special deck and is extra clean because the diesel motors need clean air to make that comforting pounding noise. We were so happy to see our steward (disguised as a mechanic) to keep our elevated status secret, was able to change our “potty bucket†not once but twice during the week. Sure it was changed with another used bucket but it was new to us.

 

We didn’t do much of the ship board activities, as the noro-virus, plague, herpes out breaks kept all but 11 people quarantined to their cabins and the few that were out didn’t want to do much in their biohazard suits. We considered ourselves lucky at least our cabin had a hammock which we took turns in because it was “cozyâ€. If we had had a balcony as we had originally paid for we would have to have seen the 40 foot waves we heard all the other sea-sick, plague infected, herpes carrying, noro-virus spreading pax talk about. As it was in our all metal 46 square foot cabin, we had no concerns about those, and the motors kept the hulls ominous creaking down to a minor nightmare causing level. We love Princess and know they did all they could to feed us, they did get us food on both Thursday and Friday, even managing to get some thing not previously picked over on the second day. Thanks Princess, we lost over 30 pounds from Dissentary in just a week between us.

 

“The incidentâ€â€¦ Unlike many people who will also post on this topic, I think docking on that unscheduled island to pick up unidentified passengers was a good idea, they were healthy and had lots of funny mannerisms and pretty masks. A no-search line at the xray machine did speed up the embarkation and how much damage could a few pallets of heavily guarded stuff cause?

 

Ok, it caused a little, but our side of the hull was intact almost all the way until the Coast guard cutter got there. Sure we had 3000 survivors, I mean passengers and the cutter could only take 75 at a time but we did get to finally see those big waves, felt em too.

 

We were so grateful for all the time we had in the 46 square foot cabin to play our favorite time passing game “total darkness muster drillâ€. We had two of the best knots in our life preservers of anyone there. One of our whistles kinda worked too. I played “Put on a happy face†on mine but no one joined in. Bunch of cry babies if you ask me.

 

We have already booked 18 more cruises, Princess didn’t offer us a credit or a refund but did find one of her shoes and a piece of my new suit I had custom made for formal night, I think the lapel is the best part anyway.

 

We had a great time on our cruise, and so should you anytime any ship allows you to hide cowering in it’s bilge pump room.

 

Life is at it's best when your address floats

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SailorJack

SailorJack

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Now trying to remove coffee from between the keys with the Binford 1000 wet or dry vac.

 

Thank you so much for sharing.

 

Now, thats funny!:D

 

 

Essiesmom:

"SailorJill was wearing a black leather bustier"

 

I think this might have got you a reduced rate at the Excelsior Arms...

EM

 

I wish I had thought of this...I could have used it.:D

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CAC104

CAC104

Posted
Posted
I look forward to your "reviews", and this one was no exception! We should all pay you to travel and then entertain us when you return! Actually, you should be the onboard entertainment--people would never get tired of listening to you.

I actually think this is a great idea....We could start a "Send Capt.Jack to Sea Fund" and be sure he gets someplace fun to write about every month. Then, we compile the posts, put them in a book form, and then we sell them on EBay. Thereby ensuring that we have unlimited funds to keep him cruising.

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Sauvignon

Sauvignon

Posted
Posted

Shear brilliance. I think everyone ought to have to read this sort of post beofre being allowed to post themselves.

 

It did make me wonder though what the OP would have made of the situation described on that other thread that is running at the moment about the poor service vis-a-vis Air Con, Toilets and Ice buckets.

 

It's all about attitude I suppose.

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blueridgemama

blueridgemama

Posted
Posted

I had a really bad day today. A long bubble bath and a glass (or two) of wine did not help. Then I found your review and after a good laugh I feel so much better. Your reviews are way better than alcohol and therapists:D I am a huge fan of Dave Barry and your humorous take on life is so similar to his. If you are looking for a new career you should consider becoming a humour writer:)

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Saruman

Saruman

Posted
Posted
I had a really bad day today. A long bubble bath and a glass (or two) of wine did not help. Then I found your review and after a good laugh I feel so much better. Your reviews are way better than alcohol and therapists:D I am a huge fan of Dave Barry and your humorous take on life is so similar to his. If you are looking for a new career you should consider becoming a humour writer:)

 

There are some of us out here who think that he IS Dave Barry, although he denies it! I would gladly read a weekly column written by SailorJack, as I truly miss the old Dave Barry columns! Might even consider subscribing to a "real paper", "throw it in the bushes by your door" newspaper again!

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Sauvignon

Sauvignon

Posted
Posted

Shear brilliance. I think everyone ought to have to read this sort of post beofre being allowed to post themselves.

 

It did make me wonder though what the OP would have made of the situation described on that other thread that is running at the moment about the poor service vis-a-vis Air Con, Toilets and Ice buckets.

 

It's all about attitude I suppose.

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two4me

two4me

Posted
Posted
Another highly entertaing review. Sure wish you would cruise more often so I have more to read :)

I have a better idea!

Why not take a bunch of us with him on his next cruise and give him

way more to write about. I would sacrifice my husbands "duh" moments for a cruise, I mean "mine"....;)

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