Carinval Glory - NYC to New England... A Memoir

[flyboyswife]

Very well written. Will we get another installment or is DH done?

I may have to implement your corner routine. Out time out routine does not appear to have much impact anymore ( DD is four). I like the kneeling....

Finally, I'd be interested in the shaky beef recipe...Shaky, what do you say?

[Tio Marco]

I am LOVING this!!

[ShakyBeef]

[quote name='flyboyswife']Very well written. Will we get another installment or is DH done?

I may have to implement your corner routine. Out time out routine does not appear to have much impact anymore ( DD is four). I like the kneeling....

Finally, I'd be interested in the shaky beef recipe...Shaky, what do you say?[/quote]


Oh, there will definitely be more, when DH can find the time to sit down and write it. There's got to be more, he hasn't even gotten thru half of the last day at sea. Then there's debarkation, and our exciting (OK, not really) drive home! It may take awhile longer, but he'll get it done.

Good luck with the corner method. Even with our "strict" method, our youngest is sometimes caught humming or quietly singing to herself while on her knees in the corner.:rolleyes: ...makes us wonder if the punishment is really having much effect.

And finally, OK, you asked for it...

[SIZE=3][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia]Bò Lúc L[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=blue][FONT=Times New Roman]ắ[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia]c[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia] (Shaky Beef[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Georgia] ) [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Serves 4, with side dishes. I double this recipe to serve my family of four as the whole meal (no side dishes), with plenty of leftovers for the next day’s lunch.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]1 ½ pound [B]steak[/B] (tender cuts are best, but cheaper, tougher cuts can be used, too) [/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][COLOR=blue]Marinade:[/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]½ teaspoon ground [B]black pepper[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1 ½ teaspoons [B]sugar[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]3 cloves [B]garlic[/B], minced[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2 tablespoons [B]oyster sauce[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1 teaspoon [B]fish sauce ([B]nước mắm)[/B][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2 teaspoons [B]light[/B] (regular / “table”) [B]soy sauce[/B]
2 teaspoons [B]dark[/B] (thick / “double”) [B]soy sauce[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][COLOR=blue]Dressing:[/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]½ large (or 1 small) [B]onion[/B], thinly sliced[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1 teaspoon [B]sugar[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]dash [B]salt[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2 dashes ground [B]black pepper[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1 ½ tablespoons unseasoned [B]rice vinegar[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2 tablespoons [B]water[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1 [B]tomato[/B], cut in slices or wedges [B]
iceberg lettuce[/B], torn into large pieces; enough to cover the surface of serving platter ([B]watercress[/B] can be used instead of lettuce)[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2 tablespoons [B]cooking oil [/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1 pot steamed [B]jasmine rice[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]1. Trim excess fat from the steaks and then cut each into 1-inch cubes. In a bowl, combine the pepper, sugar, garlic, oyster sauce, fish sauce and soy sauce. Add the beef and toss well to coat. Set aside to marinate for ½ hour to 2 hours.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]2. In medium glass mixing bowl, combine the sugar, salt, pepper, vinegar and water. Stir to dissolve the sugar. Set aside.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]3. Heat the oil in a wok or large skillet over high heat. Add the beef and spread it out in one layer. Cook in batches, if necessary. Let the beef sear for about 1 minute, before shaking the wok or skillet to sear another side. Cook for another 30 seconds or so and shake. Cook the beef this way for about 4 minutes total, until nicely browned and medium rare. Meanwhile, add about ½ of the onion to the dressing mix and stir until well-coated. Add the remaining onion to the meat while cooking. This gives a variety of texture and “doneness” to the onions in the finished dish. [/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]4. While the beef is cooking, line the serving platter with the torn lettuce. Garnish the edges of the plate with tomato slices. When the beef is done, pile the beef on top of the lettuce and pour the dressing and onion mixture over the entire dish. Serve immediately with lots of steamed jasmine rice.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[I][FONT=Times New Roman]Note: The vinegar in the dressing of this dish “cooks” the other ingredients and will start to break them down if not served immediately, so this dish is best eaten fresh. If saving leftovers, remove all lettuce and tomato pieces before putting the remaining beef and onion mixture into a refrigerator container. Warm it up with rice, then add tomato and lettuce.[/FONT][/I]
[I][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/I]
:):rolleyes::p Edited September 8, 2011 by ShakyBeef

[flyboyswife]

...and it's only 10:15am. Thank you so much for the recipe, Shaky! Looks delicious! Will definitely give that a try. Thank you again!

[ShakyBeef]

[quote name='flyboyswife']...and it's only 10:15am. Thank you so much for the recipe, Shaky! Looks delicious! Will definitely give that a try. Thank you again![/quote]

You're welcome.:) I didn't realize you were in Alexandria. Delta Hotel and my dad both used to work in Alexandria (different places). Northern VA - you're in Vietnamese restaurant heaven!

We only have 3 Vietnamese restaurants on all of Delmarva, that I know of. 1 in Salisbury, MD; 1 on Chincoteague Island, VA; 1 in Dover, DE. If we want Vietnamese food, it's either one of those (and we don't go to Dover much), or I have to learn how to make it myself.:o

[flyboyswife]

I shouldn't tell you this, but I live around the corner from a great Pho restaurant! Next time I go, I'll slurp some for you! I've never tried to make it, but I hope to score an authentic recipe soon (I go to a nail salon that is owned by a Vietnamese couple...the husband promised me his recipe the next time I go in...which will be next Friday before my DH, DD and my parents and I leave on the Pride for (hopefully) Bermuda).

Since we're on the food topic, I also love Indian, so I'm hoping the 3-bowl with rice platter option is available on the Pride. DH's photos looked amazing...I was drooling!

[ShakyBeef]

Flyboyswife,

Aw, pho, yum! But all the Vietnamese people I've asked tell me don't bother trying to make it at home (they never do) if you're close to a decent restaurant. Made the traditional way, the ox tail broth has to simmer for a LONG time. It's a bunch of work, some hard-to-get ingredients, and it's just so cheap at restaurants.;)

Great, now I'm jonesing too. Thanks a lot!:p

I know they used to have the Indian menu available everynight on the Pride (as of this past January). But I don't know if that changed along with the new menus. I'm hoping not (for DH's sake), since it wasn't part of the official menu, anyway.

Happy sails and Bon Appetit!

PS- I think you're on the same cruise as a 1-29-12 Pride roll call mate of ours, Debbie70611.:)

[njmomof2]

Okay, I've sailed and returned and the review continues LOL!!

We sailed out of NYC just ahead of the hurricane on August 27th and believe me, our trip was nowhere as calm and enjoyable as yours. Rocking and rolling over the first couple of days, Saint John cancelled, Halifax turned into an overnight. We had fun but the weather didn't really cooperate and the pools and slide were closed due to the conditions.

I can confirm that the indian is on the everyday menu each day. I ordered it daily, only having another selection 2 of those days. I totally enjoyed it, having now had my fix for a while, since no one else will eat it with me. Interestingly, one of the waiters from another section behind ours stopped at our table on the 3rd night to comment that I was one of the very few caucasians that he'd seen ordering Indian nightly. He asked me if I enjoyed it and if I knew what it was. Told him I had no idea, was eating totally in the dark, and loving every minute of it.

Still enjoying your report, and now have an explanation of your name Shaky!!! I also love Vietnamese food, but again, no one will join me, so when I have a chance, I eat it on my own.

[Delta Hotel]

Good news everybody! I've got an almost-3,000 word installment ready to go! I'm just waiting on my lovely Shaky to proof read it, and it'll go up. You should see it posted sometime later today!

Oh, I'm sorry, did you think that [I]this [/I]was a new installment? Oops.

FH

[Delta Hotel]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]We arrive at the entrance to the Amber Palace on Deck 3 and see lots of people standing and sitting in the auditorium, but we’re a little early for the dance class. I walk with the family down the aisle toward the stage, then sit on the left side of the room just a few rows back from the stage. I really have to use the restroom, so I make note of where they’re sitting and excuse myself. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]From the Amber Palace, I walk back out the door that we just came through and begin looking for the nearest restroom. It’s not far away – only a few doors down on the right side of the hallway before you reach the atrium lobby. I go in, take care of business, and spend an extra long time washing my hands trying to get them to squeak – but they don’t. I eventually give up with my hands still slippery with the moisturizer in the liquid soap. On top of having non-squeaky hands, there are no paper towels with which to dry my hands… there’s only the air dryer on the wall. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I’m don’t suffer from germophobia, not even remotely. Quite the opposite, actually. However, since Wifey and I saw some documentary (probably written and produced by an amazing team of hypochondriacs) which included a segment on how incredibly unsanitary these air-powered hand-dryers are since they force large volumes of ambient (and assumed to be dirty and germ-filled) air from the restroom all over your hands… which you just attempted to clean. Anyway, this thought occurs to me every single time I see one of these dryers in a restroom. It doesn’t necessarily stopme from using it, but I [I]think [/I]about it every time. If it’s a particularly disgusting restroom, I’ll skip the dryer and just wipe my hands on my pants or shirt. It’s a gamble as to whether or not my shirt/pants are cleaner than the air in the restroom. Eh, you win some… you lose some.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]By the way, did you know that there’s a difference between the word “drier” and “dryer”? I just learned this while writing this last paragraph! Apparently, a “dryer” is the object, and “drier” is what the dryer makes something. So, [I]a dryer makes something drier[/I]. Funny, eh? OK, enough of the English lesson.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I walk out of the restroom, and I’m not really looking forward to sitting in the Amber Palace and staring at an empty stage, so I decide that it’s a good time to go get a drink! I take a short stroll over to the atrium bar and stand at the end of the bar, leaning slightly with my left elbow on the bar, watching the musician perform near the glass elevators. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]There’s only one bartender behind the bar, a small woman. The bar is full, and every stool is taken with a few people standing between the stools, presumably waiting for drink orders. I wait patiently while the bartender makes a couple of other drinks, and a minute or two later, she works her way down to my end of the bar. She looks at me with a smile and a quick up-nod of the head and doesn’t say anything. I ask her for a Miller Light and a piña colada. She brings my ice-cold liquid-gold immediately, and it takes her a minute or so to make the frozen drink. The piña colada is for Wifey, by the way. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I take my new-found wealth and head slowly back to the Amber Palace. It’s funny, I refer to the drinks as “my new-found wealth”, but it’s a little ironic since I just had to spend a small fortune ($14.95) to get them… but that’s neither here nor there… unless “there” happens to be a line item on my Sail & Sign statement.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I walk back to the Amber Palace, and I see Wifey, the girls, and Mom and Dad standing near the entrance of the Amber Palace. As I approach, Wifey looks up at me and says, “Oh, and here comes my wonderful husband now, and it looks like he’s brought me a drink!” [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I’m confused as to why they’re all standing near the door, so I stop, hand Wifey her drink, stand there, and say nothing. I hear Wifey and the girls discussing the Thriller dance class. Behind them, I can see people flowing up onto the stage and standing in an unorganized mass. It turns out that Daugther #1 would only go up on stage if her sister and one adult went with her. Wifey volunteered to go on stage with them, but then Daughter #2 changed her mind and said that she wouldn’t do it… so that means that no one goes up.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Daughter #2 then says, “I’ll go up there if Mommy and Daddy both come up there with me.” Wifey and Daughter #1 look at me and wait for my response. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Despite the grown-up realization that no one else cares if you’re a bad dancer – the embarrassed “but everyone’s going to laugh at me” inner-child tells me that I shouldn’t go on stage. In addition to that – I [I]just [/I]got my new beer! I have no idea how long I’ll be up on stage, or if anyone else will care for my beer to ensure that it maintains the coldest temperature possible while I’m gone. Wifey and the Daughter #1 are still waiting for me to tell them if I will go up on stage with them. I think. I think some more. I’m not sure of how many seconds pass, but after carefully weighing my options and my beer, I tell the girls that I don’t want to go up on stage. Between my complete lack of rhythm, the $6.00 I just spent on my beer, and the general well-being of my beer, I’m confident that it’s a good decision.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]So, we all sigh a little, and turn to head toward the atrium lobby. We’re not necessarily going to the atrium lobby, we were just headed “away” from the Amber Palace. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]As I turn to walk away, Dad says, “Hey, you’ve got something stuck to your shoe.”[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I stop and look down at my shoe. I’ve got an 18-inch-long piece of toilet paper stuck to my right heel following me around. Nice… real nice. I stare at my shoe in disbelief of my embarassing “as seen on TV” moment. I’ve only seen this happen in movies – and usually [I]dumb [/I]movies! I’ve always wondered, “What? That’s stupid. How do you get a string of toilet paper stuck to your shoe and not know it? Who does that?!”[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Well, here’s your answer. I do that, and apparently it’s really easy to be completely oblivious to the fact that you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe… and walk through the atrium, order two drinks from the bar, and then walk back to the Amber Palace before someone tells you. If Dad hadn’t told me, I have no idea how long I would’ve dragged it along behind me. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black][Begin educational moment][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]CHECK YOUR SHOES BEFORE LEAVING THE RESTROOM. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]You don’t want to have a “DH” moment.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][End educational moment][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]A little while after leaving the Amber Palace (and not having learned any new dance moves), Wifey suggests that we stop into the Fun Shops to pick up some bottles of liquor for my employees and general ship-crap. Mom and Dad are tired of walking around, so they offer to take the girls back to their cabin for a while so that Wifey and I can go shopping and take care of our last-day errands. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I used to look for “thoughtful” gifts to bring back to my employees, you know, something related or relevant to my vacation destination. After a few times of bringing back useless crap from the Bahamas or elsewhere, I could tell from their fake enthusiasm that they really didn’t want the crap that I had brought back… so I’ve just been buying them liquor. That seems to be going over much more smoothly. “Hey, mango-flavored Absolut vodka – that’s tropical, right?”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Taking advantage of our time without the kids, Wifey and I get fresh drinks, and head to the Idiot Box. When we get to the Idiot Box, there’s a young black woman sitting there, smiling and dropping quarters into the machine as fast as she can – about two each second. She had one of those casino change buckets (which curiously resembles a popcorn bucket) with what appeared to be $10-$20 worth of quarters in it. I don’t know how much she started with, but she was going through them really fast. I watched her technique and admired her results. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]When I play the Idiot Box, I drop one quarter into a slot, wait for it to fall, stop moving, and watch to see what happens. Once I’m confident that nothing else is going to happen, I drop my next quarter. It’s not very exciting to watch, but it helps me stretch out the amount of time I have in front of the Box. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]This woman, however, was dropping them in as fast as she could pull them out of her bucket. My first reaction was, “Oh MY! What are you doing, woman! That’s madness, just MADNESS! You have no control over what’s happening!” Well, this anxiety in my chest quickly fades when I see how many quarters are dropping over the edge into the collection tray. I carefully watch and try to gauge the ratio of quarters falling to quarters being dropped into the machine. It was clear to see that her results were far better than mine – but this technique clearly requires many, many more quarters than I normally play. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]While admiring her technique over her shoulder, Wifey and I both mention how impressed we are so that she can hear us. Without missing a quarter or looking up, she begins a chatty little conversation with us about the Idiot Box. We don’t say anything memorable, just chatty stranger-talk. After a minute or two, she runs out of quarters, puts her bucket on top of the change machine sitting immediately next to the Idiot Box, and wishes us luck as she turns to leave. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Wifey reaches into her purse and pulls out a few bills for me to make change. I’m intrigued by the woman’s technique, so I give it a try. I’m really excited about the prospect of having drastically better results than my previous “one by one” technique. I take a deep breath, and line up the stack of quarters in my left palm so that I can quickly grab them and drop them in. I breath out slowly, and then start dropping quarters into the middle slot. THWACK, THWACK, THWACK! The quarters hit the back wall and drop one after the other, some bouncing off the walls and other quarters, landing everywhere inside the box. It’s like watching a popcorn machine, but with metal coins. Quarters are flying all over, and landing in places that I didn’t think were even reachable. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]If you walk up to one of these Idiot Boxes and see quarters sprinkled on the far sides of the box – this is how they get there. I used to see the quarters on the sides, well outside of the “playing area” and think, “The people who loaded the box must have sprinkled those over there… there’s no way that they could land there based on the design of the game.” Well, I was wrong. I’m used to being wrong. It used to be aggravating to be wrong, but now it just feels comforting, like a childhood home.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Well, this new “machine gun” technique did bring slightly better results than my “one by one” system… but it sure did go by quickly. Within the first minute, I’m looking at Wifey with my “I’m still sitting in front of the Idiot Box and my hands are empty” look. She reaches into her purse, takes out another few dollars, and quickly changes these useless pieces of paper in for valuable, solid metal, which she then hands to me. Within a few seconds, I’m empty handed, again. OK, that’s enough for now. I feel defeated by the Idiot Box, and hang my head a little as we walk away. Great. Now, within a short period of time, not only have I strutted through the atrium with toilet paper stuck to my shoe – but now, I’ve been emotionally assaulted (as a result of my own doing, I admit) by a metal and glass box whose only offensive or defensive maneuvers include small pushy arms moving quarters. I’m feeling like a real winner.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]It’s time to head back to the Lido Bar to console ourselves.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]We make our way up to the Lido Bar again and spend a short while there before going back to Mom and Dad’s cabin to retrieve our children and begin preparing for dinner. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Wifey and I collect the girls, and head back home. It’s still a little early for dinner, but that just gives the girls some time to play before dinner, and that gives Wifey time to get ready for dinner. Low pressure. I’m not sure… but I think I might have fallen asleep again. I don’t think I normally snore when I’m awake, so that’s a clue, but I could be wrong.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Tonight, I decide to follow Wifey’s lead and dress for dinner. No black tie, just black suit with some other colored tie. I decided to dress down in the sock department, it [I]is[/I] the last sea day, after all. Socks are a cotton/wool blend in a dark, dark green. You’d only be able to tell that they’re green if you shine a light directly on them, otherwise you’d think they were black. That’s the little secret that makes me smile on the inside. I chuckle to myself and think, “Everyone’s going to [I]think [/I]that I’m wearing black socks with my black pants and black shoes, but I’m [I]actually [/I]wearing green socks! Those fools!”[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]While I’m waiting for the girls to finish getting dressed, I pick up my camera and start playing with the focus ring in the mirror, trying to see what I can make happen. I don’t discover anything amazing, but some of them weren’t horrible.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%205/Nd3_1942.jpg[/IMG]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]To Dinner![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]We get to the Golden Dining room and seat ourselves and begin our nightly ritual of socially acceptable gluttony. Mom orders the salmon appetizer (which none of us like) and the Grilled Filet of Norwegian Fjord Salmon entrée. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%205/Nd3_1948.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%205/Nd3_1956.jpg[/IMG][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]I don’t recall what I ordered for my appetizer, probably shrimp cocktail again, but I got my Indian food as an entrée along with my Penne Mariscos. Daughter #1 also ordered the Penne Mariscos. She couldn’t decide whether she wanted the appetizer portion or the full entrée. We convinced her to get the full size plate since she loves it so much. She didn’t eat the squid rings, but she finished everything else on her plate… and even took some of mine! I ate my squid and hers. Most people don’t think of squid as comfort food, but I do. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Did I ever tell you that I lived in Connecticut? Well, when I did, my aunt would send me to the corner seafood market to pick up dinner sometimes. One of the things that I would pick up a few times each month was a few pounds of fresh squid. When you’re a kid, you don’t realize what “normal” is for the rest of the world, or even your neighbors. You just know that what you and your family do is “normal”. I found out later that most families don’t routinely buy and eat squid. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]When I returned home with the squid, I’d be tasked with cleaning the squid and preparing it for cutting. The squid are slippery, and you need a really sharp knife to cut them smoothly, so I wasn’t allowed to cut them – but I did everything else. Buying, cleaning, and cooking squid… not one of your standard childhood memories, but that’s just one of those little things that makes us all unique. Some more unique than others.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Oh, you may also recall that Wifey has convinced me over the years to stop eating cephalopods (squid, octopus, cuttlefish, etc...) on account of their intelligence super-amazing-cool factor. On the cruise however, I conveniently skip over this “rule” for the Penne Mariscos dish. I mean, these squid are already dead. And I’m sure that their little squid parents wouldn’t want their thousands of squid children to die in vain… so I just pretend that I’m a dolphin that eats squid. Again, think of the squid-eating dolphins! [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%205/Nd3_1959.jpg[/IMG]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]My Indian food this night is different than all of the previous nights. Instead of getting two plates (wet and dry), I get one plate with everything on it. There’s a flat bread disc with red onions baked into it. I immediately take a chunk out of the bread and try it – it’s pretty good. I don’t normally associate red onions with bread, but this worked for some reason. There’s a greenish colored patty in the middle of the plate. This was the size, shape, and consistency of a crab cake, or perhaps a hamburger patty made out of ground up vegetables. There’s also a small pile of garbanzo beans, some rice, cucumbers, and a bowl of spicy soup with chunks of tofu floating in it. The bowl of white stuff tasted too much like a strange mix of potato salad, pico de gallo, and heavy cream for me to enjoy it. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Several of us order the Chateaubriand. I don’t know who ordered [I]this [/I]one, but I took a picture of it. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[IMG]http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb479/Delta_Hotel/Glory%20Day%205/Nd3_1954.jpg[/IMG]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri][COLOR=black]Since this is the last night on the ship, the crew in the dining room sing their signature song “Leaving on a Fun Ship”. On our last family cruise, Daughter #1 cried when they sang this song. She watched them sing and sway slowly from side to side as tears streamed down her face past the corner of her quivering lower lip. When she finally noticed the rest of us looking at her with sympathetic smiles, she reached down and gently picked her napkin from her lap and raised it to her face to catch the tears, and so that we wouldn’t see her crying. On this cruise, she doesn’t cry. She watches them sing the song and occasionally takes bites of her lime sherbet… and I’m a little saddened by the fact that my little, sweet, and sensitive girl is a little less of a child now. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]It feels incredibly ironic that as I sit here watching her [I]not[/I] cry about something that she used to – that my eyes are welling up a little at the thought of her growing up, right in front of me.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[bragstarr]

Just got off Glory today. Did they have those little tissues on the backs of the bathroom doors when you were aboard, so you could grasp the handle with covered fingers? Ingenious idea.

 

Fairly uneventful cruise, made both ports, with just some early AM fog and a little drizzle, but yesterday....

 

You will be pleased to know when we hit 30 foot swells yesterday from Hurricane Katia, during the largest one, the glasses all shattered off the casino bar, which drew attraction from the more interesting event of the Idiot Box spitting out quarters all over the place! I didn't know which way to turn from my Hot Hot Penny machine, which was NOT kind to me. And they had to cancel the Thriller class due to the stage being unsafe, AND they cancelled my Galley Tour because stuff had shattered all over the floor....but the Idiot Box WAS conquered!

[Delta Hotel]

Just got off Glory today. Did they have those little tissues on the backs of the bathroom doors when you were aboard, so you could grasp the handle with covered fingers? Ingenious idea.

 

....but the Idiot Box WAS conquered!

 

 

Thanks so much for the update! Yes, the tissue boxes were on the backs of the doors - and yes, that's a great idea... especially when they don't give you paper towels with which to do the same thing after drying your hands.

 

I'm soooo jealous of your bad weather. Odd, I know. Wifey has mentioned several times on previous cruises that if we ever hit rough seas - go to the Casino! I'm just jealous because you were there and I wasn't.

 

Thanks again for sharing - and it's good to know that the Idiot Box can be conquered. However, it's not good to know that it takes a small hurricane and 30 foot waves to do it.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Delta Hotel

[binajack]

Enjoy your trip, will follow on the 17th. Would you post whether you see an places to check your email in the towns? I really don't want to take the computer. Maybe you know Delta & Shaky, but I'm sure you brought your own.

 

So sorry about Irene causing you so much trouble, it was a mess.

 

My DH and I just got off of the Glory. We found places in both Saint John and Halifax to get free wi-fi HOWEVER we did have to go to several places because although the free internet is available there was A LOT of people either accessing or trying to access it that we had a difficult time connecting. In Saint John we found a coffee shot a few blocks from the ship, off of a side street, called "Java Moose", think it was either on the same street or one behind the Police museum.. They had great internet and yummy coffee too! The traditional places for free internet (library, port terminal, Starbucks) were too crowded and we couldn't get connected. Java Moose was nice and comfortable. Halifax was more of an issue finding the free internet....there were 3 ships in town which, I think, added to the problem of being able to connect. My DH and I have "smart phones" so we were able to send e-mails that we had written earlier to send to family/friends when we were able to find the connection. We did bring a little netbook where we backed our pictures up to each night.

 

We LOVED both of our ports (5 day cruise = 2 ports) and want to go back again....this time either driving there or flying in and renting a car so we can spend more time exploring. Saint John is a fossil hunters paradise!

 

We did nudge the side of Hurricane Katia and had 30-40 foot seas on Friday morning but by the afternoon the seas were beautiful and the moon on Friday night from our balcony (1042) was awesome.

 

Also......if you have a port side room w/a window or balcony, about 6:00 AM ish on Saturday (for us anyway) we went pasted the Statute of Liberty. Her crown and torch were still lit and the sky was still dark as dawn was just breaking. It was an amazing sight. If you can be on deck or at your window or on your balcony to see it you should cause it's a sight not to be missed!

 

Oh and yes....there is a "Delta Hotel" in Saint John :)

Edited September 11, 2011 by binajack

[binajack]

Fairly uneventful cruise, made both ports, with just some early AM fog and a little drizzle, but yesterday....

 

You will be pleased to know when we hit 30 foot swells yesterday from Hurricane Katia, during the largest one, the glasses all shattered off the casino bar, which drew attraction from the more interesting event of the Idiot Box spitting out quarters all over the place! I didn't know which way to turn from my Hot Hot Penny machine, which was NOT kind to me. And they had to cancel the Thriller class due to the stage being unsafe, AND they cancelled my Galley Tour because stuff had shattered all over the floor....but the Idiot Box WAS conquered!

 

I had bought a "Carnival" insulated mug (tall and red) that got knocked off of the dresser thing probably at the same time all of the glasses broke. I had brought a bowl of fresh fruit back to the cabin to snack on and the fruit bowl slammed into the glass with my tea in it and both went flying into the balcony door :( Here's hoping the super glue can repair the not-so cheap plastic mug can be repaired!

 

It was an awesome storm....we got some great video off of deck 3 (until security kicked us off for safety reasons) of the waves. Once I figure out how to do it, I'll post it. :D

[Pistol Packin Mama]

I had bought a "Carnival" insulated mug (tall and red) that got knocked off of the dresser thing probably at the same time all of the glasses broke. I had brought a bowl of fresh fruit back to the cabin to snack on and the fruit bowl slammed into the glass with my tea in it and both went flying into the balcony door :( Here's hoping the super glue can repair the not-so cheap plastic mug can be repaired!

 

It was an awesome storm....we got some great video off of deck 3 (until security kicked us off for safety reasons) of the waves. Once I figure out how to do it, I'll post it. :D

 

Looking forward to your weather post. I love "weather" , but for the sake of my traveling companions I hope Maria stays far off the coast.

[binajack]

oops

Edited September 11, 2011 by binajack

[Delta Hotel]

At the end of dinner, I order my “Leaving On A Fun Ship” cappuccino and drop some of the dark chocolate from someone else’s Warm Chocolate Melting Cake into it. I don’t even think they realized that I took the chocolate from the top of their ice cream. I’m pretty sure they didn’t notice, I made sure to distract them by pointing across the room first… however, I don’t remember who it was. By the way, the “Leaving On A Fun Ship” cappuccino is exactly the same as every other cappuccino that I’ve had on the ship – with the only difference being that I consume it on the night that the waiters sing their “Leaving On A Fun Ship” song.

 

As we’re finishing dinner, Mom and Dad ask us what we did while they had the kids just before dinner. We tell them that we went to the Fun Shops, picked up some gifts for the office, went to the casino and intentionally separated ourselves from our money by means of a glass box, and then went to Lido for another drink. By now, Mom has heard us talk about the Idiot Box many times, and she asks more about how it works… so we tell her.

 

Mom is the type that’s likely to become addicted to gambling if given the opportunity and financial backing. The wise man that he is, Dad has strategically prevented Mom from being over-exposed to gambling… with the exception of the local BINGO hall where she’s gone almost every week for the last 15-20 years.

 

So now, dinner is coming to an end, and our 5-day oceanic voyage is nearing completion. The six of us get up, say “Goodbye” to each of our waiters, hand each of them their pre-determined and pre-packaged tips. Carnival includes “automatic tips” which appear on your account statement, but Wifey and I like to bring along little envelopes just for the purpose of tipping specific individuals that we want to get something extra, above the automatically included tip. We know they provide envelopes upon request, but we like to bring our own.

 

On this particular cruise, we used 3”x3” square envelopes that were solid orange. Wifey thought they were neat, and so did I. It’s just the right size for a cash tip, and its color makes it noticeable among white scraps of paper that may otherwise make their way into my pocket or theirs (the waiters and crew). The orange envelopes are pre-filled with cash before leaving the room, and I write the crewmember’s name on them before leaving. Wifey also gives me a few generic tip envelopes just in case we’ve forgotten someone. I keep these unmarked envelopes in a different pocket of my jacket. We’re satisfied with and just a little proud of our envelope choice.

 

At the end of dinner, the waiters make themselves conspicuously available, and make sure to shake everyone’s hand before they leave the dining room in order to give everyone who would like to tip them extra an opportunity to do so in a relatively discrete manner. Also, these 3”x3” envelopes fit comfortably in the palm of your hand.

 

Our three waiters see us preparing to leave our table and come over to us. Nenand (rhymes with Leonard) tells me how much of a pleasure it was to serve us, and I respond with my normal canned reply for that situation as I reach out to shake his hand, slipping the envelope into his palm at the same time. Without looking at the envelope, he smoothly takes it and drops it into his pants pocket as he continues talking. We finish our pleasantries and I move onto Sentil.

 

I look up at Sentil, who’s quite a bit taller than me, and reach out to shake his hand and we exchange our short, polite “thanks” and “goodbyes”. When I slip the envelope into Sentil’s hand, he goes to put it away in his pocket, and then stops, looks down at it (noticing the bright orange color and the square shape) and opens his palm up to get a better look at what I’ve just handed him. We both stop talking and he smiles, then looks up at me…

 

I quickly have the thought, “Oh crap, man. What are you doing? You’re not supposed to inspect it! What are you going to do now? Open it up and see how much is in there? Man… you just turned a very routine hand-off into an awkward and mildly insulting stand-off. Crap, what do I say now… I’ll just wait to see what he says… maybe it’s not so bad.”

 

Sentil smiles and begins to chuckle a little as he talks.

[begin Indian accent] “Excuse me sir, I am sorry. I do not know what you were handing me. {Bringing the envelope from waist height to chest height and holding the square envelope up by one corner} This looks exactly like the envelope that we get when we go to the infirmary below deck! I thought that you were handing me medicine!” He laughs, and after it sinks in a little, I begin laughing too. Wifey’s standing next to me and joins in the laughing. “Thank you very much, sir.”

 

“No, thank you, Sentil. You and your team have done a wonderful job serving us these last few days… and I promise you that there’s no medicine in that envelope.”

 

So I shake hands with the third waiter, whose name I still don’t know, and hand him his tip envelope. On the way out of the Golden Dining Room, Wifey and I laugh about our tip envelopes looking like the infirmary envelopes. OK, so that’s a detail that we didn’t think of beforehand. And how the heck are we supposed to know something like that?! So… we’re switching tip envelops for the next cruise.

 

Dad’s tired, and suggests that we all go back to their cabin for a while. Wifey and I don’t have a good reason not to – so we go to their cabin. When we arrive, the girls immediately go back to coloring, playing, or pretending whatever it was they were doing the last time they were here. Going to dinner and walking around the ship is really just a “pause” button for playing. Wifey and I are standing in the middle of the room with that “So…. Now what?” feeling.

 

Mom says that she’d really like to go see the “60 Seconds or Less” show. Dad says he doesn’t want to. Mom says she wants to go to the Casino to play the Idiot Box. Dad says he can’t stand the smoke in the Casino. Wifey can see Mom’s disappointment, and offers to take Mom to the show and the casino if Dad will watch the girls. I stand by, blankly staring at the television. The end result is that Dad will keep the girls in their cabin, and Mom, Wifey, and I will all go to the Amber Palace to go see the “60 Seconds or Less” show at 8:30PM which is supposed to be like the TV game show “Minute to Win It”.

 

The three of us leave the cabin and head down to the Amber Palace.

 

Entering the Amber Palace, we see that the place is about half full, so we make our way down toward the front, hang a left and sit a few rows back from the stage. We’re a little early, so we sit and wait.

 

 

The show started promptly at 8:30PM with the host coming on stage and asking for volunteers. The young Austrian host found three women and three men to participate in tonight’s events. The men and women were lined up on stage behind two long tables. Men behind the left table, and women behind the right table… but they weren’t teams. Each player was an individual contestant, but they split the men and women up anyway to give it a “Battle of the Sexes” kind of feeling without actually saying it out loud.

 

One of the early events was picking up dried penne noodles with a piece of fettuccini. The noodles were lined up on the top of a metal stool going in a circle, like a clock. The contestant had to pick up as many penne noodles as they could without touching anything, and holding the fettuccini noodle in their mouth.

 

Also, between the events on the stage, the host would come down off of the stage and call up people from the audience to answer “Name 10” trivia questions. For example, one of them is “Name 10 Madonna songs in 60 seconds or less”. The host also announced that help from the audience was allowed, so each one of these questions became very loud and rowdy as people from all over the room shouted random answers at the contestants.

 

One of the “Name 10” trivia questions occurred in the aisle right next to us. The host picked a woman from our side of the audience and they stood about 6 feet away from us as the host said, “You have 60 seconds to name 10 ships from the Carnival fleet… GO!” The woman started rattling off Carnival ship names without any help, but only got to about 3 or 4, and then started to stutter and slow down. People around her started to shout out ship names to keep her list going. The host kept count on his fingers as she repeated suggestions from the audience. Wifey was leaning over toward the aisle shouting ship names.

 

At one point when the woman in the aisle runs out of ship names (the audience is still shouting repeats), Wifey leans over and shouts “CARNIVALE!” to the woman. The woman looks over and so does the host… but the woman doesn’t say anything, and the host looks confused. Wifey pauses and can see their confusion and shouts, “IT’S AN OLD ONE, JUST GO WITH IT!” The woman says it to the host. When another Carnival employee leans over to him and whispers something in his ear, the host puts up another finger.

 

When the 60 seconds is over, the host announces that the woman had 60 seconds to name 10 Carnival ships… and she named 21. The crowd roars with laughter and cheers. The host hands the woman her “ship on a stick”, and heads back up on stage for the next event.

 

I don’t remember all of the events, or much of the order of events, but it came down to two men as the finalists. The last woman to get eliminated had a problem with the “snatchy pencils” event. In this event, the assistants would stand behind the table, and you (the contestant) would stand in front of the table (closest to the audience). The assistants would lay out an increasing number of pencils in piles on the table. I believe that the first “pile” was actually one pencil. The next pile had two pencils, and the one after that had four pencils, and the next pile had six pencils, and so on.

 

The object of this event was to see how many pencils you could grab out of the air before your 60 seconds was up. The real trick to this event was that you had to first balance the pencils on the back of your hand, and then take your hand out from under the pencil and catch it in your palm… much like that old dog trick where you put a biscuit or treat on their nose, and they flip it up and catch it in their mouth.

 

 

The two last men went first with the pencils, and did fairly well. One of them actually got all the way up to catching 12 or 14 pencils off the back of his hand! The first few piles weren’t impressive, but when you can balance 12 pencils on the back of your hand, then pull your hand out and catch them all with the same hand – that’s something!

 

The woman had some kind of problem with the pencil event – she couldn’t seem to get past 6 pencils. Her hands seemed to close too early, or she would misjudge the fall-rate of the pencils, or maybe she just had much smaller hands… I don’t know. The point is that she was eliminated in the “Snatchy Pencil” event.

 

 

Now we’re down to two men, and the final competitive event… the “paper-bag-mouth-picking” event. In this event, the host had a series of 5 brown paper lunch bags lined up on the floor of the stage. The first bag was full height. The second bag was cut to be a couple inches shorter, and the third bag was even shorter. The last bag was only about two or three inches tall.

 

The goal of this event is to pick up the paper bags with your teeth or mouth and set them on the table. When the host announced the rules of this game, I went a little nuts and began annoying Wifey about the glaring loop-holes in the game.

 

 

The host said that the rules were:

• You must pick up the bags with only your teeth or mouth.
  
• Your hands and knees may not touch the floor.
  

That’s it – that’s all he said. Now, I’m a firm believer in rules and laws – but I do believe that if you create a rule or a law, you should be careful how it’s worded… and not get upset when someone finds holes. You should have done a better job of writing the rule…

 

So, the two men (one at a time) are now bending over, trying to spread their legs, and do almost everything imaginable to bend over forward to pick up these paper bags. As I get a little older and I notice myself becoming less and less flexible as the days pass – I felt some sympathy for these guys. When I was in high school, I could easily kick over my head, bend over and stand on my hands (with knees straight), do back-flips and hand springs all day long… now, one of my daily achievements is to tie my shoe laces without hurting myself.

 

Now, as they’re going through this event, I’m thinking about the rules, wondering if it has occurred to the people on stage (or anyone else in the audience) that the host never said anything about lying on your back. He very specifically said that your hands and knees weren’t allowed to touch the floor, but if you lay on your back, your face can easily reach the shorter bags, and your knees and hands don’t have to touch the floor. Simple. Now, the one catch to my loop-hole is that if you’ve got a “top heavy” build, it could be difficult to get back up without your knees or hands. I would guess that you could use your elbows… he never said anything about elbows.

 

So, the winner of this last round was the man shown below. He was really quite good at all of the events, not bad at all.

 

 

After this last paper bag event, this man was announced as the winner, but he still had one more event to complete by himself. This last event was fun to watch, but didn’t seem terribly difficult.

 

The host lined the man up behind the tables and set down two tissue boxes, one on the end of each table. The tables are separated by about 15-18 inches with the tissue boxes on the adjacent edges. The man is standing behind the tables, but positioned directly behind the 15-18 inch gap.

 

The goal of this game was for the man to completely empty both tissue boxes – one tissue at a time. When the host said “Go!”, the man began whipping the tissues out of the boxes, alternating hands like a chopping motion. The host announced that there were 100 tissues in each box.

 

 

I snapped a few pictures as the tissues went flying… but they all seemed to look the same, so I stopped. The man finished both boxes within the requisite 60 seconds with about 10 seconds to spare. As soon as he emptied both boxes, the host and the audience cheered… then the host yelled, “Now put them all back in! You’ve got 10 seconds left!” The man froze, and then bent over and began scooping up the piles of tissues and tried to shove them back into the boxes when the host stopped him and told him that he was just kidding. And… that ended the game show.

 

Wifey, Mom, and I stood up and tried to get out of the Amber Palace before everyone else flooded into the aisles. As we’re leaving the Amber Palace, Mom gives a sigh and starts to feel a little guilty about leaving Dad with the girls, “I guess we should head back to the room now.”

 

“Dad’s OK with the kids for a little longer… come on, let’s go to the Casino.”

[Pistol Packin Mama]

I'm leaving tomorrow for NYC and then the Glory so I'll have to wait till I get back unless I find a hot spot, but I sure am going memorized the Carnival ships names just in case. Have truly enjoyed the review and won't have any trouble knowing whether the elevator is going up or down.:)

[ShakyBeef]

I'm leaving tomorrow for NYC and then the Glory so I'll have to wait till I get back unless I find a hot spot, but I sure am going memorized the Carnival ships names just in case. Have truly enjoyed the review and won't have any trouble knowing whether the elevator is going up or down.:)

 

 

Bon Voyage! I hope you have just as much "weather" as you want, but not too much for your traveling companions.;):D

[Pistol Packin Mama]

Bon Voyage! I hope you have just as much "weather" as you want, but not too much for your traveling companions.;):D

 

Thanks, I'm sure it will be fun no matter what it is.

[smitty89]

I am loving this memoir! Thanks so much for taking the time to write it. There have been many occasions in the past couple of days that I have snickered out loud! Consequently, I'm not sure how my boss feels, but I have enjoyed my time spent reading!! :)

[Delta Hotel]

TO THE CASINO!

 

The last time we were playing the Idiot Box, there was a stack of $1.00 bills with a paper strap holding them together. The paper strap indicated that it was a $20 stack. The stack of bills was sitting on top of the sheet of quarters. It was about an inch or two away from the edge, but we knew that it would take a metric ton of quarters to move that stack of money a full two inches to the edge, and then to knock it over the lip. We had watched this stack of bills slowly work its way from the back of the box to the front of the box over the course of the 5-day cruise.

 

When we come back to the Idiot Box this evening with Mom, there’s a couple sitting in front of it, and a casino crew member wearing a “Security” shirt standing next to them. The stack of $1.00 bills has fallen over the front edge – and GOTTEN STUCK on a stainless steel lip on the very front of the machine! There is no way for the casino to even argue that the money hadn’t fallen, because it had fallen… it just got stuck on a seam between two pieces of sheet-metal that made the “chute” on the front of the box. I feel bad for the couple – and yet I feel confident that they’ll get the money.

 

Security Guy inspects the box, evaluates the situation, and then walks away, asking the man and woman to stay there. A minute later, he returns to the box with a bundle of keys on a chain. He opens the front glass panel of the Idiot Box, reaches in, and carefully picks up the stack of bills and hands it to the man, then locks up the front of the box again.

 

When I saw Security Guy open that front glass - my imagination went wild. I could smell the quarters inside… I could hear the slow motion sound of the glass door opening. It sounded like the air-lock chamber door of a space shuttle opening between an air-filled, pressurized space and the vacuous, nothingness on the other side. As Security Guy reached his hand into the box, I saw the whole thing in slow motion, imagining the slow and heavy breathing sounds of Darth Vader. That might have been the longest 4 seconds of this entire cruise.

 

I have never heard an air-lock chamber being opened in real life.

 

The couple takes their small bundle of cash and walks away happy. Wifey and I quickly step into their place, and Wifey tries to usher Mom into one of the seats. Mom says, “No, I don’t want to play just yet. I want to watch you play for a little while.” So Wifey and I sit down and begin changing paper into metal, for the sole purpose of leaving that metal safely on the ship, locked inside of a glass box. Mom stands just behind us, looking over our shoulders. She’s got her hands in her pockets to help her contain her excitement. Her eyes are wide and shiny while she stares at the sea of quarters – every one of them with the potential to slip over the waterfall’s edge and make their merry way into our dirty paper bucket.

 

Wifey and I get about $10.00 in quarters, and split them roughly in half, then begin to drop them into the three “shooty slots”. Shortly after I begin, it occurs to me that I’m going to lose all $10.00. There’s no real chance of me walking away with any of these quarters. That’s the magic of the Idiot Box – it’s not that you can’t win money back – it’s that the winnings happen to be quarters, which happen to be what you’re playing with. It’s entirely too easy to pull the “winnings” out of the tray by your knees, and drop them back into the “shooty slots”… which is what I do, every time… until I have no more quarters.

 

Having this thought, I stop dropping quarters in, pull one shiny quarter (it’s a 1991) out of my pile, and drop it into my pocket. This is my little mental game for tonight. Now that I’ve saved one quarter from being sent to slaughter in the quarter eating machine – I’ve guaranteed that no matter how much I spend tonight – I’ll have walked away “ahead” when I’m done. I said that it’s a mental game that I play with myself; I never said that this was any kind of real logic… but it makes me feel better.

 

After we burn through our first 20-30 quarters, I get up, hand Mom the bucket and gesture for her to sit down. She looks like a kid in a candy store. Since she’s spent the last few minutes watching it, she’s got the rhythm, the goal, and the concept of the game. She gets right to dropping quarters.

 

Well, a minute or two later, Mom’s out of quarters and looking into the empty, dirty bucket on her lap. Without her actually looking at me – I can feel her “I’m still sitting in front of the Idiot Box and I’m out of quarters” face. I analyze my mood. I’m happy and mildly buzzed. I analyze Mom’s mood for the day. She hasn’t said anything that really annoyed me today, and she’s been more than willing to babysit the girls… she’s been good today. I reach in my wallet and analyze my cash situation. I have a few singles and a twenty-dollar-bill. I pull out the twenty, slide it into the change machine, and gently take the bucket from Mom’s lap.

 

She sees me doing this, and lightly protests at the $20 bill that I just put into the machine. “It’s already in there now”, I say. She stops protesting. The quarters are dropping four at a time into the protruding cup on the front of the machine. As they drop, I scoop them into the bucket since I’m not sure if that round change cup will actually hold a full $20… and I’ve got to get them into the bucket anyway. I’m just getting a head start.

 

Once the full amount is in the bucket, I hand it over to Mom and Wifey for them to share as I stand behind them smiling and watching with a similar feeling to watching little girls pick flowers in a field… except… they’re dropping my hard-earned quarters into a bottomless pit of gambling entertainment, but otherwise, very similar to picking flowers.

 

 

When there’s only a few dollars left in the bucket, Mom turns back to me and insists that I drop some quarters in, too. I reach into the bucket, grab a few dollars worth of quarters, line them up in my palm, and then reach between Mom and Wifey’s shoulders and place my hand in front of the middle coin slot. I let the coins slide out of my hand as quickly as they can into the slot. It takes me just a few seconds to lose all 12-16 quarters… and then I wait. The quarters shoot and bounce all over the inside of the box and eventually settle on and around the sheet of quarters. With the help of the pushy-arms, the new quarters now cause a chaotic frenzy of movement within the sheet. This frenzy of activity from my deluge of quarters drops about two or three dollars worth of quarters into the bottom tray – which greatly excites Mom. She reaches down to collect the “winnings” and place them back into the bucket, then notices that I’m not terribly excited.

 

“Look at all of those quarters, Son-In-Law! Aren’t you excited?” Mom says.

“Not really… how much do you think we got?”

[Glances through the bucket] “That’s about three dollars! That’s the most we’ve gotten yet!”

“Yeah… if I hadn’t just put in $4.00 in order to get $3.00, I probably would be excited.”

Mom looks back at the bucket, then looks back at me. “Do… you want to keep these?”

“Nah, that’s OK, you can put them back in” I say.

 

So, now I’ve got a quarter in my pocket for “winnings”, and I’m in a good mood. Mom and Wifey are out of money so Wifey takes a breath and stands up to leave. Mom is still sitting at the box, leaning closer toward the glass and staring blankly into the box. Wifey and I smile at each other, and wait a few seconds for Mom to snap out of it. I can’t really blame her. I think I did the exact same thing the first time I found the Idiot Box.

 

After Mom finishes saying her silent farewell to the Idiot Box, we head out of the Casino, and Mom starts to feel guilty (again) about leaving Dad alone with the girls for so long. I don’t feel bad at all – the girls are easy to watch. Most of the time when I watch the girls, they’re exactly where I left them before I fell asleep. And when they notice me wake up, they often present me with something they’ve made for me like a picture or a craft. Dad and I often have similar babysitting styles, so he’s probably sleeping... or trying to.

 

Standing near the entrance of the Casino, Mom suggests to Wifey and I that she go back to the cabin and watch the girls while we head up to Lido Bar for a while. She doesn’t say it out loud, but Wifey and I see this suggestion as Mom’s version of showing gratitude for us taking her out for the evening. Wifey and I look at each other with that, “Uh, did she really just suggest that? I think that she just said that she’ll voluntarily watch the girls without resentment, while at the same time implying that she [probably] won’t try to make us feel guilty for taking her offer?”

 

We take the offer, and Mom heads back to their cabin, while Wifey and I head up to the Lido Bar.

[Delta Hotel]

I am loving this memoir! Thanks so much for taking the time to write it.

 

 

Glad you're enjoying it, Smitty! When I finally finish writing this sea-monster of a memoir (considering that it only spans about 6 days), I'm going to have it printed, published, and then you can find it in your local Barnes and Nobles!

 

Not really. I'll be lucky if this thing ever makes it to PDF.

[smitty89]

Glad you're enjoying it, Smitty! When I finally finish writing this sea-monster of a memoir (considering that it only spans about 6 days), I'm going to have it printed, published, and then you can find it in your local Barnes and Nobles!

 

Not really. I'll be lucky if this thing ever makes it to PDF.

 

Darn! I was hoping the Kindle version would be out soon! :D

[russianmom]

Phew- found it.:) I stayed up half the night the other night reading this then couldn't find it last night. I was in a mild panic!!!:eek: