Jump to content

To be, or not to be...a shrimp


Goldryder

Recommended Posts

This morning's update on the shrimpgate affair...

 

The standoff tween Carnival, the Crustacean Union and the Carnival Shrimp passengers is continuing this morning.

 

Following the ugly scenes a few nights ago, passengers are still not happy at the loss of their beloved shrimp cocktails, many have told reporters that the end of the world would have been easier to accept than the loss of their cocktails.

 

Meanwhile the funeral of the shrimp that was murdered by Ivor Biggun has taken place. The young shrimp, known as Titch, was held by moonlight and at sea with full battle honours. Sobbing & wailing shrimps, lobsters & tiger prawns could be heard long into the night.

 

A new development overnight has stated that the beleaguered and totally potty CD, John Heald, has been removed from the ship after hallucinating, he apparently thought Ketut was a shrimp & tried to strangle him. Ketut is reported to be shocked but unhurt after the incident...

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hehehehehehe....

 

Negotiations are still ongoing this afternoon aboard Carnival Shrimp with the flustered boss of the cruise line in talks with Mr Pinky Prawn of the Crustacean Union.

 

Several passengers have staged a sit-in protest, demanding the reinstatement of their shrimp cocktails...however, reports also state that a growing backlash against the protesters is gathering momentum as many are just happy to be on a cruise when they could be at work, paying the bills or at home doing housework.

 

The shrimp's plight is attracting a wider audience too as the local crabs are said to be itching to join in the all out strikes, thus removing the crab cakes from the already depleted choices on the menu aboard ship...no confirmation of this has been issued at this time.

 

In the meantime, sources close to the port of Messina have said that truckloads of prawn cocktail Pringles have been delivered to the ship and have been loaded under the cover of darkness in the wee small hours of the morning...only time will tell as to what this development will do to the tense mood..

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You people can laugh all you want , but you don't realize that one little shrimp can have a dramatic effect on life as we know it .

 

 

 

My case in point :

 

 

H Ross Perot and the Presidential Election of 1992 !!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tonight's breaking news from the Carnival Shrimp...

 

Negotiations are still ongoing tonight aboard Carnival Shrimp. The boss of the cruise line has sent out for his prawn cocktail flavoured Pringles, reportedly saying that he is in for the long trawl with Mr Pinky Prawn, leader of the Crustacean Union.

 

The passengers are currently polishing off the 8th day menu (since the 5,6 & 7 day menu's have been boycotted)...no-one told them, however, that the 8th day is the same as the 7th and the main courses are all variations on Spam with the option of jacket spud or fries or prawn cocktail Pringles.

 

It has also been confirmed the crabs, who have been itiching to join the fracas, have now downed pincers and are currently marching sideways towards the galley to join the picket lines.

 

The Legends show tonight will be featuring a lobster serenading a tiger prawn in a full Elvis costume singing Song of the Shrimp...

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What'll be really funny is when they start serving pretzel sticks and cheez whiz for dinner and the people who made them what they are leave for greener pastures and Larry the Cable Guy is doing 7 nights in the comedy club. Now that'll be funny!

 

If I am eating pretzel sticks and cheez whiz on a cruise than that is fine with me...seems too many people on these boards cruise JUST for the food...you can't do anything about it at home if they change the menu at your local restaurant...you either keep going or you go somewhere else...

 

Last RCCL cruise I was on they didn't have shrimp coctail every night so why is it such a big deal CCL doesn't have it any longer...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This morning's bright & breezy episode...

 

The sun rose over Dubrovnik this morning ushering in a new day in the stand-off tween Carnival Shrimp's passengers & owners...and that of Carnival and the many thousands of crustaceans who are up in pincers over the disputed shrimp cocktails.

 

No progress was made overnight despite significant attempts to settle the row by both sides. Carnival's owner has capitulated in one area though, he has summarily fired the chef, Ivor Biggun, for attacking Titch the shrimp and threatening to drown the poor little chap in 357 sauce stating that it had not been necessary since there was plain mayonnaise in the cupboard instead.

 

The sedated CD, John Heald, is still in segregation onshore, his condition is not known...although he has asked to listen to Meatloaf singing Song of the Shrimp...sources say that this request is being looked into by Eric the Beard.

 

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And there's more....

 

There are signs that the shrimps plight is spreading worldwide today as reports have reached us that several of these cuddly creatures have filed for asylum in many countries across Europe and in a surprise move, they attacked a well known discussion board in sufficient numbers that it not only crashed but got severely singed in the servers.

 

It has also been reported that screams keep eminating from John Heald's padded cell, reasons for this behaviour cannot be confirmed, but an insider suggests that he is still hallucinating about his favourite tighty whitey's up the flagpole and the plight of the shrimps.

 

In another development today it has been said that the boss of Carnival is about ready to throw in the towel over the stand-off aboard Carnival Shrimp. Reasons have been quoted that he getting very crabby with Mr Pinky Prawn, the leader of the Crustacean Union.

 

It is also suggested that the lobsters & tiger prawns are plotting to upset the captain of Carnival Shrimp this evening by switching the wires on the joystick, thus making the ship go forwards instead of backwards when trying to reverse out of port....

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They recently released new menus that don't include shrimp cocktail any more and a lot of people are acting as if the world is ending.

 

Not me :). I am enjoying my shrimp cocktail at home right now :D. I felt like fixing myself a little snack :p! Yes, I am on the message boards, but I still snack while on them also. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmgood :o.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm happy to know that the shrimp and the lobsters are in negotiations but who on earth is speaking up for the poor ribs? For heaven sake, they were forced to compete with the lobster and prime rib! :eek:

I think we can all see who is coming out on top (ahem, prime cough ribs) of this whole fiasco.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good morning from Carnival Shrimp....the case continues....

 

The sun (and temperature) has risen aboard Carnival Shrimp this morning following another night of heavy negotiations tween the boss of Carnival & Mr Pinky Prawn.

 

It appears that when they crabs marched sideways to the galley to join the tiger prawns & lobsters on the picket lines, they may have accidently (on purpose) removed several personal effects from chairhog's loungers...towels, sunglasses and someone's secret stash of shimp cocktail in a rum runner.

 

Uproar then broke out amongst the passengers as much finger pointing ensued as to who had smuggled the rum runner full of shrimp on board...but no-one owned up (although there were some lobster red faces in the crowd, it could not be identified as to whether it was a very bad case of sunburn, a severe allegic reaction to shrimp or embarrassment at being found out).

 

There are also reports that the picketing lobsters have stolen the chocolate sauce used in the warm chocolate melting cake and are holding it as hostage, but this cannot be confirmed at this time...

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This evening's breaking news....

 

Earlier reports that the choclate sauce used in the WCMC had been taken hostage by the lobsters has been confirmed this evening. The leader of the lobsters, Lenny, stated that since the passengers were having too much fun and not taking the shrimp crisis seriarsely enough, further steps had to be taken...it is not known what the ransom is for the sauce, insiders suggest that it could be a lifetime moratorium on shrimp cocktails...

 

In an otherwise quiet part of the galley aboard Carnival Shrimp, reports of an uprising involving the ribs has broken out. Apparently they have a beef with the management telling porkies about the status of their pay demands following a previous heated discussion with the now sacked chef, Ivor Biggun.

 

The boss of Carnival, who is said to be at the end of his tether, is trying to placate the warring sides by promising them space on the lido buffet...which in turn has caused further uproar with the Crustacean Union due to the length of the counters in the lido being too short to include everyone having an equal space....

 

In the meantime, the CD John Heald is said to be at home, recovering from the trauma suffered whilst on board Carnival Shrimp. When asked by reporters for a quote, all he could mutter was 'AAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH'

 

;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Forum Jump
    • Categories
      • Welcome to Cruise Critic
      • New Cruisers
      • Cruise Lines “A – O”
      • Cruise Lines “P – Z”
      • River Cruising
      • ROLL CALLS
      • Cruise Critic News & Features
      • Digital Photography & Cruise Technology
      • Special Interest Cruising
      • Cruise Discussion Topics
      • UK Cruising
      • Australia & New Zealand Cruisers
      • Canadian Cruisers
      • North American Homeports
      • Ports of Call
      • Cruise Conversations
×
×
  • Create New...