"JW and Jerome's Ecstatic ECSTASY Adventures"

[xplor97]

JW...after checking my own roll call...the second thing I do every morning is check your review...I love cruising with you...and reading your reviews is just as entertaining!

G:cool:

[cruiseguys2009]

Muster Drill

 

So it was just about time that the Muster Drill was going to begin, and we headed back to the room one last time to drop our glasses off in the room. Jerome looked at me as I put my Martini Glass on the desk and he said, “JW why didn’t you leave that at the bar?” I just looked at him, as some questions need to go unanswered.

 

Our Muster Station was in The Blue Lagoon Theater. Now, I am a safety first, kinda guy, and one thing that I demand when I am on a cruise is to know the exact location of my Life Boat. I want to physically see my Life Boat. I want to know my route to my Life Boat. I don’t want to just talk about it in some Theater. Ever since the Concordia disaster, when the passengers wasted precious time by going to the Theater instead of their Life Boats, while the Captain and crew themselves were getting into the Life Boats and leaving the passengers behind to swim for it, Gosh Dangit, I want to see my Life Boat! Period.

 

As we entered the Blue Lagoon Theater, it began to pour relentlessly and you could hear and smell the rain. “Oh Crapola!” I turned to Jerome and said, all the while knowing that Tradition still holds true to form. It’s raining as we leave on yet another Carnival Cruise from Port Canaveral. What the heck happened to that gorgeous sunny day???

 

We had met up with several Cruise Critic Members at the Atrium Bar for Pre-Sail-A-Way Martini’s. Our new friends stuck with us during our FTTF Luggage Debacle, and we found out that they too were having issues with Platinum and Diamond Luggage Service. But, like us, our remaining Luggage arrived just before Muster Drill. The gang all gathered with us once again, while in the Theater, as we watched the torrential rain fall through the windows. Resolved to let it rain, we then turned to watch all the passengers arriving for the Safety Drill. I was not sure how the safety demo was going to be handled, whether or not we were going to get to go to the Life Boats, and what the logistics were going to be. But soon enough we found out, as the loud Emergency Signal Beeps blared, the entire theater was packed and it was if we were in church, not a peep, sound or even a cough could be heard. Amazing quiet, kind of eerie, and one thing we all noticed was that there were hardly any kids either. Oh yes, we were traveling during the back to school September season. No kids!

 

Then the Captain came on the PA system and began the briefing. He began telling us how to don a life jacket as the Crew Members in the theater demonstrated. Continued speaking on how we could assist the Crew in an emergency, and such, then, without warning, a child, (where did SHE come from and why isn’t she in school?)who was certainly old enough to know better, for some reason, began a horrific, loud, wailing crying tantrum that would not let up. Amazingly,the child's parents just sat there as the child screamed. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “WAAAA, WAAAA, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

The parents did little to quiet the child down. Now again, this was not a baby, a three year old or even a five year old. This was a girl around the age of 7 or 8. And a big girl to boot. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” All attention was now on the child, and not on the safety briefing. The theater had such great acoustics that the wailing of this little girl drowned out the Captain’s important safety information. The parents seemed uninterested in conforming to the safety drill and many of the crew members were asking them to assist in quieting the child, but they kept laughing and sipping their DOD’s. DOD’s? We were all glad the crew members took their DOD’s away from them, as I guess Maritime Law states that passengers are not allowed to have any food or beverage with you during the Safety Briefing. At least that is what the Crew Member Moderator of the Safety Demonstration told them as she instructed the Crew to take their refreshing beverages.

 

The Crew Member Moderator on stage also said directly to these Parents that if the young lady could not be quieted, then we would all have to repeat the safety briefing, as the child’s screaming prevented the passengers hearing the required safety information. Plainly, no one could hear it. She then sternly reminded everyone that no food or beverages were allowed or tollerated and would now immediately be confiscated by Crew Members.

 

Jerome said to me, “I think I just saw the parents give the gal on stage “The Finger“. How absurdly rude. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”, “WAAAAAAAAA!, “WAAA, WAAAA, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The never ending wailing, like for what reason? It was a cry like she had just lost her puppy.

 

Everyone in the room was in complete dismay, and frustrated by this time. Shut that kid up was written on everyone’s faces. Even the other small children were embarrassed for this little screamer. But heaven’s no, I can’t tell a parent today how to deal with their child. I can’t even assist or intervene. Several people offered to help, and the parents were rude and nasty to them. A couple of the “PH” sounding first letter of THAT word followed by “Off”, were also tossed around by them. Such lovely language. My Gosh these people had a lot of Class. It was all Low Class, but they sure had a lot of it! Great examples of fine upstanding parents not only to their child, but to the other children present. After this altercation, Jerome said to our group, “Is it any wonder the kid is hysterical, look at the parents.” “I would scream like a Banshee and want to get as far away from them too!” We all nodded in agreement.

 

But the best part is that several Carnival Crew Members did intervene once and for all. They came over to the little girl and you might say, created a diversion. They began to engage her, talk to her, treat her like a little Princess. They became animated and put a life jacket on her and asked if she would assist in showing people how it was worn. The little girl paraded in her life jacket like she was a high fashion Runway Model. It took a little bit of attention, and a whole lot of caring, and some ingenuity on the Crew’s part to create a positive situation. The Crew should be commended for going above and beyond the call of duty.

 

I was impressed, especially because we did not have to sit through another Do-Over. Another Carnival Wow moment. But it is still raining!

 

Jerome says to me sarcastically, "You were the one who wanted to see your Life Boat, JW, so now, get ready, because you are going to pay the price and get drenched!"

Edited October 7, 2013 by cruiseguys2009

[ch27088]

Thank you for such a wonderful and funny review. Please hurry and finish as I a lot more reading of your review to do. DH and I will be on the Carnival Dream this time next year and we can't wait (363 days to go)!

[travellink]

Trust me, you are in the review.....yes you are and you know why.....! Love to you both. You are my new Hat Lady!

 

I was wondering if there was going to be a "Hat Lady" on this cruise. YEAH !

So sad that this will be the last year for your Christmas display but maybe someone will step up and help you with the finances. Wish I could see it it person!

[ssnewbie]

For Immediate Release:

 

 

BLESS YOUR HEARTS!!!!!! I would travel all the way from Ohio just to come to the house. I have a special place in my heart for people who donate to animal charities. Hugs!!!!!

[cruiseguys2009]

Man Your Life Boats!

 

 

Once Screaming Mimi calmed down, it was now time for everyone to stand up and in silence, proceed to the Life Boats. I swear, it was just like being back at Catholic School during a Fire Drill. I thought that at any moment Sister Maria Providencia of The Holy Fire was going to re-emerge from my childhood again. Freddi Kruger could not compare to the fear of Sister Maria Providencia of The Holy Fire! Not even close. That name alone still send shivers down my spine and makes the tiny hairs on the back of my neck tingle!. "Single file, please!" A Crew member instructs. That brought me right back to Catholic School. "Single File, Arms Folded!" The Nun's would scold. “Mr. Salveson!” Sister Maria Providencia of The Holy Fire would say to me (and I hated the fact the Nuns always had to say Mister along with your last name, even though I was only seven years old, Geez!) “Mr. Salveson, Stop Talking,” or "Mr. Salveson, Stay in line“, or “Mr. Salveson, Don‘t lift Little Anna‘s skirt“ and then the best one I remember "Mr. Salveson, I am taking you to Father because you lifted Sister Maria Providencia of The Holy Fire's Dress!" Then the church later called my mother and told her that her 7 year old boy was a "Sex Maniac". Imagine telling my mother that? Imagine her reaction? Boy was I in Trouble. I was always getting into Trouble. But thankfully the church was wrong. I was not a "Sex Maniac", nor did I become one. A few other things yes, but that was thankfully not one of them! Oh but I digress. Are you laughing as hard as I am? I just had to Tinkle.

 

“But it’s raining!” several people cried out. “What a Travesty!”, another one said. “We are going to get wet!” some others yelled. The Senior Crew Member did not bother to acknowledge the complaints, only to continue to direct everyone in an orderly fashion to their Life Boat Station. There was a strong mention of the fact that the procedure is Mandatory, Rain or Shine, and all Guest’s had to be accounted for, at their respective Life Boat stations. I truly appreciated this drill. Again, I was mindful of the recent Concordia tragedy and paid attention, just in case. I wonder that if in a real emergency, if these same people would complain if it’s raining and they have to actually get IN a Life Boat? At least they’ll know which boat to get on.

 

It was interesting at the Life Boat Station. All us CC folk were lucky enough to be standing under a solid canopy, as we did not take the “Me First” attitude of rushing to exit the Theater. But that was not to be for some of the more vocal complainers. It just so happened that the three biggest “It’s Raining” complainers, who pushed and hurried to be first, ended up, as luck would have it, out in the open, getting absolutely soaking wet drenched. Ha…..Ha…..Ha! Karma IS real sometimes. They got really, really drenched. It’s all in the name of safety, no? Listen, I would not have minded in the least if it were me out there, just sayin’, sometimes it’s better not to be first.

 

As we looked out over the railing, to the other side of the Port of Canaveral, we could see RCCL’s Enchantment of the Seas, and they too were conducting their Life Boat Drill. All of their passengers were also out on deck, but their decks were completely covered. Ahhh, once again, me thinks of Karma. Wonderful Karma. I only get out what I put in, right? The crew took a full accounting of us, there were a couple of announcements trying to locate a passengers who were trying to skip the drill, and I guess were happily located as no one wanted to be in the rain for much longer. Then there came the announcement that in an emergency, women and children would go first. What? Yikes! "Do Drag Queens Count?" I injected a little humor to hysterical laughter of everyone around me. I know it was wrong as we were to be silent, but sometimes words just slip out of my mouth without me realizing it. Just thinking out loud here. "Trouble be quiet!" Jerome whispered, then saying "SHHHHH! or you will get us in real trouble!" Well, I never did get an answer to my question.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen.” The announcement came, “You are now Officially on Vacation!” The ship’s horn blasted and we were on our way! Too bad we could not go out on deck as planned, but oh well, no worries. We went back to the cabin to unpack the late arriving garment bag and watch sail-a-way from our window. After all I did have to make another Martini too. Glad I brought my olives and my martini shaker! And……..oops, maybe JW was a Bad Little Boy after all.

 

I was thrilled that the luggage made it to the room, for it was now time for cocktails. Come on, we’re gonna miss the Meet and Greet! While opening the garment bag and then uttering "Uh Oh, What is this?, with his hands on his hip and leaning forward, Jerome sternly says to me holding the evidence, “Trouble, what did you do?”

[sanmarcosman]

"Mr. Trouble!"

 

[cruiseguys2009]

"Mr. Trouble!"

 

 

 

The best! Love it! Thanks.

[Gemynii]

LOVING your review! I can't wait to read the rest of it!

[sjn911]

Thanks for sharing your Christmas projects...and you are awesome..great review..Sarah

[pungo3]

MORE please. I'm loving every word! I can't wait for the next episode.:D

[cruiseguys2009]

The Cruise Critic Meet & Greet

 

Our Roll Call for the Ecstasy sailing was small, and inactive, except of course for my daily antics, up until the last two weeks prior to sailing. Then it exploded with excitement. We had over 50 people logged in, and the Roll Call became a fun filled anticipatory Tinkle-fest. On a five day cruise, though, it is difficult to have an organized Meet and Greet, and as such, more often, “Vacation Happens”. The anticipation of the Roll Call turns into vacation reality, relaxation and exploration, and the opportunity to meet up with folks drizzles up as other things get in the way. I guest-amated that out of the 50 or so who had chimed in, only about 10 would show at our pre-arranged meet up.

 

Sea Days are so very keen to host a Cruise Critic Meet and Greet. Now on this five day sailing, that has the sea day on the last day, there was really no time to arrange one. It has been my experience that on a short sailing such as this, the best time is right after Sail-A-Way, as the ship has left the port and is already out in the ocean. We were scheduled to depart the dock at 4PM and experience also had shown me that at 5PM we would be out in the Deep Blue Sea and many people would be available to meet up for an hour or so, prior to that evening’s activities..

 

With that being said, and because I was the unofficial leader of the Roll Call, Jerome and I settled on a 5PM Meet and Greet at The Atrium Bar. A casual stop by and meet up with fellow Tinkle-ites. Initially I thought that we would have a much bigger turn out, because of the torrential rain and there were no on-deck activities. I should always know better than to second guess myself, I was ultimately right, only 10 people showed up.

 

But those ten were fabulous! Laughter filled the Atrium! So much so, people looked down at us, over the railings from the decks above to see what was going on. It was the usual JW causing a big commotion. We enjoyed our M&G immensely. And what a diverse group of numb nuts we were.

 

There was a fun couple from Lakeland, Florida, and boy, she could out drink me any day of the week.! There was another couple from Orlando, and she was destined to become my Hat Lady on this cruise. Wait till you hear this one! More on her later. There were the two cuties from Georgia, a mom and daughter, so petite and sweet, and rip roaringly funny. And by the way, they both deserved their vacation so much as they work 60 plus hours a week. Such cutie pies. I love Georgia Peaches! There was our resident Shuttle Bus Driver, that shuttles people to and fro from the ship, that the boss bought him an all expense paid vaycay. Now this guy was hysterical. A super nice man.

 

Then, all of the sudden, this beeping sound in my head kept going off. Uh, Oh! I know what that is! “Beep! Beep! Beep!” That my friends, was my Gay-dar. Yep. “Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! There it was, chiming in loud and clear! “Hello Boys!” I said, as these two charming, and handsome, mid thirty’s boys bounced over to me. “You must be JW!” The taller of the two said. “My name is Chris, and this is my friend , Jeff”. We shook hands, and I pointed out Jerome to them, who was holding court on the other side of the bar. “Oh my, these look like fun guys“, I thought, Chris did have the most adorable spiky black hair and he was slightly taller than myself. Jeff, well he was Chris’ sidekick puppy dog. Jeff had those puppy dog eyes and had this whispery voice that if I heard it over the radio, would make me Tinkle on the spot. He also had this sexy blonde hair that had a touch of grey, and a big bright white smile.

 

We chatted and chatted and it became one of those rare moments that I knew we would be fast friends and just laughed and laughed. We had more than a few martini’s, and Jeff by the way, was drinking this Blue concoction that looked exactly like a Windex Martini,. I had a fleeting thought of what Jerome had said to me earlier. “JW, who brings Windex on a cruise?” I laughed to myself, as Jeff was holding his pretty Blue Gay Martini in, what I thought were, his dainty hands with his pinky up. Who does that anymore? Pinky up?. Anyway, it was cute. So as Chris and I were talking, my beeping in my head went off again! I mean I can just sense FOD’s. (Friends of Dorothy) I turned around and yep, there were several more.

 

Well Chris, while in mid sentence, dropped me like a hot potato and immediately made a bee line for the “Newbees”. I turned to Jeff, and asked “Does he always run off like that in mid sentence?” He said “Yep, you should try living with him!” “Oh”, I said, “You’re a couple?” Jeff replied, almost drowning in the middle of a sip of his Windex, with his pinky still up, “Used to be, and that’s a story.” Me, never ever wanting to leave a good bit of gossip out there hanging, says “Do tell, it will be just between us!” (And of course between the rest of you, my dear kiddies here on the Cruise Critic International World Wide Hook Up!) You know the saying Telephone, Telegraph, Tell-a-Gay? They are talking about me, "The Mouth Of The South!" Well, I said to Jeff, “Spill it!”

 

Just as I was going to get a good piece of juicy Tinkle time information, the love fest between Chris and The Newbee Boys was wearing off, and they actually wanted to meet Moi!. So here the gang trotted over to Jeff and myself. How was I going to get that darn story out of him now? Hmmm, thinking cap JW. “I know!” I exclaimed in my head, “Invite them to dinner!” Before I got into a conversation with the Newbee Boys, I asked Chris and Jeff if they had “Anytime Dining”. “Yes”, they replied in unison. Yes! I thought, I’ll get that story yet! “Excellent, we do too”, I said, “Then you boys wouldn’t mind having dinner with us, say around 8?” “Dinner at Eight”, Chris said, “How Poignant”. Now folks, How’s that for cornering and maneuvering? Hmmm? Trust Auntie JW kiddies, I know a few tricks. Okay, so Chris and Jeff exchange approving glances and nod in agreement. “That will be perfect” Chris announced, as I also knew he was the take charge kinda guy and Jeff deferred to him. Really, they are not together anymore? It sure looks like it.

 

Newsflash kiddies, There IS a story there!

[valandemmy]

I hope not to offend when I say this..but I have been reading your entire review in the voice of Albert Goldman (played by Nathan Lane) from the birdcage. You sir, should be a writer. :D

[cruiseguys2009]

I hope not to offend when I say this..but I have been reading your entire review in the voice of Albert Goldman (played by Nathan Lane) from the birdcage. You sir, should be a writer. :D

 

 

And no offense taken. I love it, laughed aloud, Tinkled and knew exactly what you were saying, and yes, I would be thrilled if you would continue to read in the voice of Albert Goldman. Nathan Lanes character and I are so much alike, and my voice inflections are identical. Never thought of it before, but Jerome just agreed with you 100 percent. Though, I must say, Jerome is no Robin Williams. He is more like a Rock Hudson or Cary Grant type. In my mind though, I think of Jerome as Josh Duhamel! Boing!

 

As for my writting, I just tell it like it is Sista! Been there, experienced it, so I want to write about it, and surprisingly, people want to make themselves available in all sorts of interesting and outrageous ways to me, knowing full well I am going to tell the world!

 

Oh my gosh, could you imagine if I could subsidize my cruise budget by writing about them? Would love it! Naw, that would be unlikely. But, I do especially love it when one of my reviews takes off, and all sorts of people are squirreling away reading it on their computer screens at work, when they are supposed to be working for gosh sakes, waiting and hoping I will post another chapter before 5 PM! Thankfully we all have smart phones and we get an immediate alert when I have posted the next chapter. "Ding"! "Oh Gosh Marge, gotta go, gotta read JW's newest post!

 

Thank you so much again for your kind and witty comments. Love it!

[pxy cda]

I hope not to offend when I say this..but I have been reading your entire review in the voice of Albert Goldman (played by Nathan Lane) from the birdcage. You sir, should be a writer. :D

OMG Hilar! I cant wait to meet JW in April on the Eclipse (and have the DQ anoint me with a nickname).....until then we will have to make do with this fabulous revue/review!

:)

[Hockey Addict]

Ahhhhhhhh! I want to cruise with you guys! You sound like DH and I.... I get in trouble almost daily! Love love love the review! I can't wait for more!!!

 

And.... The Christmas decor.... O M Jeebus! I wish we were closer!

[missygirl]

And no offense taken. I love it, laughed aloud, Tinkled and knew exactly what you were saying, and yes, I would be thrilled if you would continue to read in the voice of Albert Goldman. Nathan Lanes character and I are so much alike, and my voice inflections are identical. Never thought of it before, but Jerome just agreed with you 100 percent. Though, I must say, Jerome is no Robin Williams. He is more like a Rock Hudson or Cary Grant type. In my mind though, I think of Jerome as Josh Duhamel! Boing!

 

As for my writting, I just tell it like it is Sista! Been there, experienced it, so I want to write about it, and surprisingly, people want to make themselves available in all sorts of interesting and outrageous ways to me, knowing full well I am going to tell the world!

 

Oh my gosh, could you imagine if I could subsidize my cruise budget by writing about them? Would love it! Naw, that would be unlikely. But, I do especially love it when one of my reviews takes off, and all sorts of people are squirreling away reading it on their computer screens at work, when they are supposed to be working for gosh sakes, waiting and hoping I will post another chapter before 5 PM! Thankfully we all have smart phones and we get an immediate alert when I have posted the next chapter. "Ding"! "Oh Gosh Marge, gotta go, gotta read JW's newest post!

 

Thank you so much again for your kind and witty comments. Love it!

 

 

Oh my gosh your right he is Albert :D I loved Albert. Keep writing.

[CrusingGolfers]

I would like to apologize on behalf on my wife and I for not making the meet and greet. I boarded the ship with a migraine and my first day was mostly spent in our room waiting for headache meds to kick in.

 

Reading this is making it worse because we would have had a blast hanging out with y'all. Our trip was great other than my migraine on day 1 and dislocating my shoulder in Freeport snorkeling haha. We had a blast!

 

Sorry for not being able to make it. But I'm sure we will see you soon on a future cruise. Thanks for the review I've had a blast reading it.

[Avian]

Love you, JW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Teresa

[iloverags2]

Newsflash kiddies, There IS a story there!

 

Dammit! Where's the story???

 

But, I do especially love it when one of my reviews takes off, and all sorts of people are squirreling away reading it on their computer screens at work, when they are supposed to be working for gosh sakes, waiting and hoping I will post another chapter before 5 PM! Thankfully we all have smart phones and we get an immediate alert when I have posted the next chapter. "Ding"! "Oh Gosh Marge, gotta go, gotta read JW's newest post!

 

Dammit! I didn't think anyone figured that out yet (I do live in my back, corner office ya know).

 

BTW, da hubs is enjoying your review immensely as well. He keeps hearing me chuckling like mad and then just has to read what I'm reading.

[pungo3]

I can't wait for the next chapter. I may not be able to sleep tonight. LOL This has to be my all-time favorite review.:D:D

[SoCalKJ]

BLESS YOUR HEARTS!!!!!! I would travel all the way from Ohio just to come to the house. I have a special place in my heart for people who donate to animal charities. Hugs!!!!!

 

I love this. I'm an avid dog lover...grateful for your service. :)

[Jimmy Geegitz]

Nice review. I have been staying away from this class of ship but may try it now.

[mykindaparty]

Saving place

[maitlandmom]

OMG!!! Me too!

 

I hope not to offend when I say this..but I have been reading your entire review in the voice of Albert Goldman (played by Nathan Lane) from the birdcage. You sir, should be a writer. :D