.......idle jottings

[ho-hum]

"Oh my"! to borrow a phrase from the great man himself.

What all time champion heavy-weights (in both senses !) we have gathering at this "virtual reality watering hole: the online TOYB" here at ".......idle jottings".

MACT, GCMV, CTBJR1309, (all names sounding like the main ingredients of Hum's, cheap Chinese import, hemorrhoidal cream: extra strength !).

With the more great American folky sounding names COCOYOTE and TrapperZimmy.

Yes we have a few missing but it's tourist season in the remote settlements and there are a lot of wooden spoons to offload. We'll keep a few spaces for you though: your "creme de menthes with an umbrella" await you.

 

Hum usually responds in sequence of posts but this time he must just say, it's great to hear from you fellas; Hum'll be a long in a "jiffy" with more personal responses.

 

Europe is a common theme from you guys and now that Hum is a revered and respected, film celebrity, adored by the common masses of less intellectual understanding and incisiveness, Hum will try to explain our nation's dilemma to you from the standpoint of what the real issues are.

Now please remember, Hum, will not be suggesting which position he advocates but has definite leanings to one side and anyway he has already voted (postal: Hum doesn't queue either !).

 

ISSUES FOR REMAINING

- the unknown economic situation bearing in mind that Brits are the most likely to "max out" their credit cards compared to our European chums and mostly have in-sufficient in their bank accounts to last a month. A very big concern.

- trade within Europe is easier and there are less tariffs

- fear of ............... (fill in the blanks yourself). Many Brits have lost their sense of pride and feel it is best to join a bigger club. Safety in numbers.

- many feel "European" not British, especially this seems the sense from predominantly younger people whose main concern seems to be that the cost of mobile roaming charges may go up and avoiding the fuss of passport control (absolutely none on the Continent: well that was the idea to be fair). Many non-former Colonial immigrants prefer a sense of European identification than British.

- Europe is socialist and many in the UK are too, so it makes sense to create a Greater Europe of Socialist States

- environmental concerns. Many feel the Brits out of Europe will start up the coal generators, chop down all the trees, send children up chimneys, spread toxic chemicals from Russia and China on the land killing off the wild life etc... (No, this is a genuine concern by our "Green" chums)

- being rebuked by "Johnny Foreigner" on our European holidays

- Scotland will want to leave the UK leading to a break up of the Union

 

ISSUES FOR LEAVING

- Scotland will want to leave the UK. If they stay, good. If they go, even better ! Un-grateful lot. Like to see them get on, on their own after the Shetlands join the Union (taking the oil money with 'em) and the financial service industry move out of Edinburgh and set up south of the border. Many would love to see the indignity of their application of the EU being put behind Kosovo and Albania !

- immigration ! A major concern.

- European Human Rights. They are so "barmy" ! Serial rapists are allowed to stay in the country, on the grounds that it is their EHRs

- the EU is one big arrangement of self-interest between the Germans and the French. Britain have no allies in Europe. "Britain is truly a "Billy no mates".

- £10 billion a year it costs Britain and what do we get out of it ? (maybe more than we know: nobody knows)

- we dont like Brussels (headquarters of EU) telling us what and what we cannot put in our sausages !!!

- EU directives are made up by the Germans which the Brits slavishly follow ..... no just us. Nobody else bothers.

- Greek economic fiasco, soon to be followed by Finland, Portugal, Cyprus, Spain, Finland although to be fair, it has gone a little quiet. Maybe they have accepted "their lot" for spending like fools mainly on socialist benefits to their work shy, lazy, peoples (Hum is simply reflecting a prejudice)

- Angela "oh do come in" Merkel, inviting 1 million alleged Syrian refugees when really they are young men from fundamentalist muslim countries

- fear of social balance and values being erased by radical young men from the same countries who ARE dis-respectful to women and gay men and are over-crowding British prisons. "Keep British prisons, for the British" for the "jolly good show" British pensioner gang that broke into a vault in Hatton Gardens

- EU "gravy train" that spend money like water with precious little accountability

- hatred of PM, hatred of opposition leader who both want to remain

- fear of open borders with Turkey (dont trust 'em: gateway to Mecca-land)

- more "waiting for hand outs" countries waiting to join. They really are not our kind of people !

- Brits, hate the French because of their trade unionists and Parisian arrogance, hate the Germans because they are more successful, hate the Greeks because they are lazy, hate the Italians because they are corrupt, hate the Spanish because their football teams are better

 

OK, so some of the points are a tad irreverent but there is a lot of truth in them too.

Remember, Hum is beyond the trivialities of politics. Provided there are tax free havens somewhere in the world and you can get good (and very cheap) staff then Hum is "set up".

No, Hum cannot pretend to be this un-caring "prig" !

But Hum is simply giving you the common man's concerns and attitudes.

If they are un-pleasant, then you are right.

But these seem to be the down to earth concerns of the common man.

 

Currently the polls show Britain leaving the EU after months of the opposite indication.

There are less and less "don't knows" so the polls have less possibility of divergence.

It feels the country has made up it's mind and the stock market and currency falls are reflecting that we are "coming out".

It is also assumed that the "Remain" proponents are less likely to actually vote than the "all steamed up over this" "Leave" proponents. And if it rains on polling day, then it is "in the bag" for the "Leave" camp but if it sunny, then the fickle"Remain" camp will receive a boost AND if England advance in the Euro football competition then the "Leave" camp will win!

 

It is Hum's view (and after checking this with Dolores, his astrologer and palm reader) that the EU could collapse........over the next 15-25 years if Britain leaves.

The "right" will return to France.

Merkel will be kicked out of Germany very soon and will return to the "right" also.

Restaurants in Brussels will close.

It will be a new era for Britain (the Queen will be happy).

England will still lose at football.

British sausages will have a resurgence !

God will send a plague upon the French trade unionists !

 

All drivel, take no notice.

Just a bit of fun..........or IS IT ?

[ho-hum]

"Oh my"! to borrow a phrase from the great man himself.

What all time champion heavy-weights (in both senses !) we have gathering at this "virtual reality watering hole: the online TOYB" here at ".......idle jottings".

MACT, GCMV, CTBJR1309, (all names sounding like the main ingredients of Hum's, cheap Chinese import, hemorrhoidal cream: extra strength !).

With the more great American folky sounding names COCOYOTE and TrapperZimmy.

 

And not forgetting, the legend himself, Jim Avery (whom Hum......err forgot).

[MACT]

Mr Hum says...

 

"Scotland will want to leave the UK. If they stay, good. If they go, even better ! Un-grateful lot. Like to see them get on, on their own after the Shetlands join the Union (taking the oil money with 'em) and the financial service industry move out of Edinburgh and set up south of the border. Many would love to see the indignity of their application of the EU being put behind Kosovo and Albania !"

 

Mr Hum...he wise man.

 

MACT (over the border but ready with a packed suitcase just in case the nationalist lunatics take over the asylum up here).

[ho-hum]

You know the second and final documentary about "posh" people on their "hols" is on tonight (BBC2: 9.00pm) !

No, there will be no SD, sadly and more disappointingly, no Blondie .......... and her very odd "other half" !

Instead, our "posh" chums Richard and Martin are the main attraction.

Richard is in fact a more successful and highly prominent architect than Hum (though not as good a dancer as Hummy.......yes he is that bad !).

As Hum said before, we are dining with them next month (Royal Brighton): they are very "Remain" (in EU). Hum hopes they remain very good "bon viveurs" if the vote goes "Leave" (which Hum suspects it will).

[Jim Avery]

And not forgetting, the legend himself, Jim Avery (whom Hum......err forgot).

 

 

Out of sight, out of mind......How soon the mighty forget the "little people" who supported them on their climb to stardom......:eek::D

[ho-hum]

Out of sight, out of mind......How soon the mighty forget the "little people" who supported them on their climb to stardom......:eek::D

 

'Twas a veritable scandalous omission, Hum is flagellating himself whilst posting !

Ouch !

Oooh !

Not so hard !

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Grovel grovel, grovel.

[ho-hum]

Mr Hum...he wise man.

 

MACT (over the border but ready with a packed suitcase just in case the nationalist lunatics take over the asylum up here).

 

The situation is diabolical !

As the situation currently stands, the English want to leave Europe to have more of a say in how they live their lives without interference from Europe.

Whilst a large amount of the Scottish people purport to want the same by way of leaving the Union (where they have a remarkable amount of autonomy) but are prepared to "kow-tow" instead to every other country in the EU to gain admission as a very small player without any hope of making any difference !

 

They will have substituted being an equal member in a Union for being a minnow in Europe with zero influence.

Just what is the sense of that ?

[TrulyBlonde]

I adore this blog with Seadream chums. I sincerely believe it is the only one where we can discuss Politics, Sex, and Cruising where we are not eaten alive.

 

Possibly the fact that on my 1st SD cruise there were only 80 lovely passengers and a most wonderful time. Thanks to HH that I remembered to book another.

 

Ciao,

Contessa di Porto

[ho-hum]

Hello again and as I return to the forum what is all this that's been going on? Just popped out for a breath of fresh air which took longer than anticipated and on my return it seems that the world has gone mad…again.

 

Many religious zealots pronouncing their god is great and buying a one way ticket to meet him….oh I do so very hope that they are bitterly disappointed. Britain is soon to say “cheerio” to Pierre, Luigi, Hans, Knees and boopsadaisy, read “the end of western political civilisation” from Mr one of five presidents Tusk as “the end of my tax payer financed gravy train”. Whilst in the good ol’ US of A she who hides all those damning emails is seeing her “rightful place” in the White House potentially being denied by the one who has to hide his bald spot.

 

And just when I think it might be safe to turn the tv on, what abomination do the innocent British viewing public have to tolerate? His Majesty Ho Hum and the beautiful Blondie on their holidays, sorry, travels. On a Sunday evening too, have some decorum please… almost choked on my glass of claret. Thankfully the children were tucked up in bed and spared the sheer viewing terror that unfolded. Such programming would never have seen the light of day during old Marmaduke’s time as DG of the BBC.

 

I just hope that Seadream can financially withstand the mass of cancellations happening this week. “Good God, if that’s the type of fellow guest we’ll have to share the yacht with then it’s back to the caravan at Great Yarmouth for us”.

 

MACT

 

Get away with you man !

Hum and Blondie on the "Beeb" was the years highlight !

 

No, to be fair to you MACT, a man of rare discernment and intelligence (not the kind that usually post here, Hum doesn't mind telling you!).

It wasn't great "telly".

At least you can be assured that Hum and Blondie benefitted "not a jot" (financially) from the making of this drivel in order to preserve fairness and to keep the licence fee at it's very reasonable, current level.

 

Off to the caravan in wet and windy Great Yarmouth with you then.

May all your BBQ's be "wash outs".

A big HA ! to you sir !

 

But you are right on one thing MACT, may Hum call you "M" ?

Cancellations on SD are in "free fall".

The "cunning" plan worked.

You can now pick up a 2 week cruise around the Balearics on deck 4 for just £99.99!

With a £200 spa credit !

 

"Waiter, waiter, there's a lady dancing on the table in my soup"

That's no lady that's Blondie !!

[ho-hum]

Dearest ho-hum,

gcmv is now back from Sardinia (AMAZING!!!) and asked himself the same as MACT did.

And - surprise, surprise - yesterday we received an e-mail by SD with enormous price reductions for the coming cruises in the Med.

Perhaps TV-viewers were shocked by one scene during the Champagne-splash event (and promptly canceled their cruises), when a "yellow body whale" was washed up on the beach. (So far gcmv knows the species of yellowfin thuna, but it was the first time for him to see the scaring portly yellow body whale). :D:D:D

 

Joking aside: The film has turned out well!!!

 

To see (and to hear) blondie and ho-hum after such a long time was heartening and we felt like being with both of you together on a cruise.

 

As a fact of friendship to ho-hum, gcmv provides the correct spelling (to google) of the "unknown" singer to round up hum's common knowledge:

Robin Thicke - next time we come together, we chorus a song of him together with hum and blondie ... ;)

 

All the best to both of you!

 

Welcome home GCMV and frau GCMV from "Sardine-land".

Hum actually sent you a post hoping your beautiful home town of "Hi-de-Hi Burg" was OK: Hum heard of terrible flooding in Germany (mostly the south though).

Was everything OK, old chum ?

War alles in Ordnung , alte Kumpel ?

[ho-hum]

I must say that we enjoyed Mervyn immensely. Not quite as immensely as we enjoyed Blondie (are we even now, h-h :) ? In fact, I'm trying to contact Mervyn in order to see if he might forego his vacation in Jamaica this winter and trade it in for a cruise on SD with you and Blondie. Stand by for further details!

 

Even better than that Charlie, Hum has a surprise for you !

Mervyn and his "2 daiquiris and she's gone" missus are coming over to you in your new home for a couple of weeks to stay with you !

No, no need to thank Hum.

Happy to arrange it for a dear, dear chum.

Oh by the way !

It wasn’t shown on camera because of strict moral guidelines.

But they are both inveterate smokers.

Pipes !

Oh and they always bring their very old Border Collies; can’t be parted with ‘em.

Might need some “pooper-scoopers” and black bags.

Sadly they never trained them.

Oh and yes, of course w’re even ! NOW !

Haha

[ho-hum]

Good to be back amongst the towering intellectual giants.

 

Is the eyesight failing? I think that is about size 140 type you are using.

 

My views on the EU vote? There may be fair maidens and young children on this forum...don't want to frighten the life out of them. Let's just say there is a clue in the name of our "Great" country...let's make it that again.

 

Scottish independence to follow? Not a chance...you may remember that when oil was $ 115 a barrel our former dear leader, that "two gallon hat on a two pint head" failed Royal Bank of Scotland economist (what happened to Fred's plaything again?) proclaimed that Scotland was on the cusp of a second oil boom. Oil was "a bonus" not to be counted with the everyday pennies. Tell that to the people of Aberdeen right now.

 

And if it all goes pear shaped, we shall seriously consider invading the posh part of your green and pleasant land, to suck on the teat of South East prosperity.

 

Best wishes to Blondie.

 

MACT

 

And great to have you back MACT !

 

"Towering intellectual giants" !

Glad to see, your sense of humour has not abandoned you.

Honestly, it is nice to have someone around that Hum (almost) considers an equal.

Hum can't tell you, the numb skulls that he usually has to put up with sometimes !

 

The font size has been adjusted "down" for your benefit or is this a "back hand" way of telling us that age has not withered you.

 

Oh yes, Hum well remembers, the deluded economic basis for an independent "Scottyland". How ridiculous that was but does the ordinary Jock now see the claimants, complete incompetence to govern ?

Hum suspects the decision to leave was based on the hatred of the foppish English, like "moi" ?

Though Hum has a few Scottish chums. Going to Scottish chums, son's wedding in South of France soon, actually. They serve G&Ts in vases ! Hum kids you not.

 

OK, well may Hum be allowed a follow up question on the subject of Scotland and the EU ?

How will they vote ?

And for what reason ?

Voting "Leave", to "trigger" an election for an independent Scotland (as you know, that rather cute lassie has warned Parliament she would) or some other compelling reason/s.

OR

Vote "Remain", this time to prevent the same "trigger" or again for some other compelling reason/s.

 

What are the deciding factors in "Midgeyland"?

- Effect on the cost of whisky (or is it industrial alcohol)

- EU intervention on "frying Mars bars"

- EU proposed changes to air traffic control in Scotland after revealing

- documentary showed bad practices

 

See clip here:

 

[YOUTUBE]MeI154gaWL4[/YOUTUBE]

[ho-hum]

Thomas Carlyle wrote, "In the long-run every Government is the exact symbol of its People, with their wisdom and unwisdom."

 

When we were on SD last month, we were discussing politics with our traveling companions, whose own country is also in disarray. When we said we might consider emigrating to Canada, another passenger turned and said, "What makes you think we will let you in. We're building a wall. And you're paying for it!"

 

And while we were in France, we experienced the labor unions protesting against their Labor Party president.

 

And then, Charles de Gaulle said, "Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first."

 

By the way, Hum, I hope my references to "You're in" and "European" did not go unnoticed in our discussion of Pee Dream. Usually you comment about my twisted sense of humor.

 

Always welcome and appreciate your observations and astute comments.

Oh to be at the "Office" at the TOYB with you to listen and learn TrapperZ.

Two very well chosen sayings.

TC of course, it makes Hum wish to know a lot more about him and then there's CDG: he disliked the English despite the huge sacrifice made by them (as well as by Americans and colonial allies and the Poles) and he hated the idea of Britain joining Europe.

He may have seen we were "half hearted" right from the start.

Oh and how despicable the British treated the Commonwealth countries when joining the EU ?

The most shameful episode in British history !

Dumping our old chums into economic poverty for new rich "chums" and economic gain.

How tawdry! How un-British that episode was ! Quite shameful ! Just not cricket !

 

Which country in the world does't have some issues to resolve ?

The breakthrough in European countries was adopting more of a centrist position and society was changed by that (for the better) however the state of the political map of Europe has now become too liberal (Socialist) and Europe is suffering because of it (just as it would if it was too right wing, of course. Hum isn't advocating a one side only position for life: we would end up going round in circles, wouldn't we ?)..

And since Angela Merkel of Germany (who effectively was the generally respected "leader of Europe") has gone "completely bonkers". Overtly Socialist political influence is the biggest problem now in Europe (which the German people also seem to be finally realising. She will not be re-elected and she has higher goals anyway: "Leader of the World" via the UN ! At last there, she will have absolutely no influence ! Who does ? Charlie would: great guy).

 

And where there is a lack of common ground of the people adopting centralist political parties or candidates (at least) then the people become polarised more and more and as a result adopt more extreme party political figures and policies.

Boring compromises is not "sexy" neither is working together and accepting of differences but after conflict, people have to come together to at least try to find some initial working solution for basic peace.

 

"Your'e in" and "Europe" went straight over Hum's head !!!

Thanks for the reminder.

Now look TrapperZ, as a famous film celebrity, Hum has to "shoulder" more responsibility and just cannot "go around" saying the first thing that comes into his "silly head".

"But that's precisely what you do, do Hum" !

OK, accepted, but you don't take Hum's views seriously.

"Well that is.......err true"

So "pretty" please don't take Hum's view seriously now either.

Besides Hum's change and are influenced by others.

 

So TZ, Hum has already voted (by post) and it seems that Hum's vote may be in accord with those of the majority of Brits too (if opinion polls are to be believed).

Hum's ONLY consideration was not for tawdry economic reasons but for a quality of a society in Britain (a non-religious influenced, tolerant to difference, liberal, multi-cultural society with long bar opening hours, low taxation on alcohol and a National Health Service for ALL and leader in the world for liver transplants and which would be open to allowing responsible figures in society the occasional social use of hallucinogenic substances !).

 

Somewhere you know, where people can go about their ordinary lives un-hindered by the adoption of unusual clothing and accepting of their transgender orientation.

And here in Great Britain, most Brits are accepting of people like this.

Hum is talking about the kilt wearing chums (tartan skirts with nothing on underneath ! Very chilly round the ......... Lowlands !) Scots.

No, our only concern is that they learn English ! They are completely un-intelligible. what does "Och aye the nooo" even mean or "Can you spare me a poooooond".

 

Hum has no wish to "step on anyone's toes" and provided the aim of any political party includes the disadvantaged yet has a realistic adoption of the way the world "works" (with an aim for spreading the possibility of others to grow) then that is fine by Hum however sometimes countries do require a strong "correction" (whether it is right or whether it is left is actually immaterial provided it arrives at in the middle then extreme right or left wing views can be reduced to an inclusive centrist position. For example, North Korea would need a far left correction and Greece would need a correction to the right otherwise they will simply spend all the financial handouts yet again on benefits for "one legged cobblers" and the like: having his horse drawn cart modified for his disability or other such "Leftie" Socialist nonsense).

 

Finally, please appreciate that Hum doesn't accept that ANY political opinion is the right one and certainly no religious belief either.

Hum's only guide is Blondie telling him what to do and so far it has worked every time.

We are here for a finite time stuck with one another for better or worse.

We share a common humanity, maybe we should just relate to one another from that.

Just a suggestion, not mandatory instruction.

As if ! Ha !

"Shootin' the breeze" that's all (hopefully not "shootin' his mouth off, well not too much).

Oh and lets have some fun too before our ship finally "docks".

Hum's going to go with Jim when we arrive, Hum knows it will be a tad hot but time with Jim is worth it !

 

They say, you should never talk religion or politics.

And they are right.

Hum is stupid and should learn.

But Hum was asked a direct question by a revered chum.

And Hum fully respects and would honour the decision who hold the opposite view to Hum.

Heck, Hum is sounding more and more Norwegian !

Yikes !

Accept in one way: Hum behaves appallingly (not boringly) !!!

[TrapperZimmy]

Homer Simpson, when he decided to become an atheist, asked Marge, "What if we picked the wrong religion? Every week we're just making God madder and madder."

 

Wow, Hum. It looks as if I lit a fuse under you and have turned Idle Jottings into Idyllic Jottings. Well done, chum. I like it. We do have to meet in the "office" soon. I'll buy the first round.

[ho-hum]

And just think dear HH, the US election is November 8th, last night of the fall crossing. Won't that be fun:cool:

 

So exciting (yes really) !!!!

Can't wait to see how "The Donald" broadens his appeal or will he continue his robust "sound bite" remarks during the period from now until the election.

He has already changed Republican politics fundamentally.

When he stood on that platform with the others, nobody came close to "looking the part"

 

So what say our friends in the UK on Brexit? US financial tv networks are playing up all sorts of scenarios of gloom and doom. Vote is next Thursday isn't it?

 

COCOYOTE, Hum has carefully tried to outline the Brits views on the EU referendum as well as Hum's own without showing favour to one side or another.

President Obama told us to vote to "Remain" which helped the "Leave" vote tremendously !

A "wrong move" unfortunately. The UK is a gateway for US products of course and "we" are your guy on the "inside" (everybody else in Europe hates you; less so the Germans).

 

The vote is this Thursday indeed old chum.

 

Hum will be going to the South of France on THAT day for a wedding of the son of Scottish chum's of ours. He is a very famous Scottish architect (Rennee McKintosh's practice: for you MACT) and she is the first woman Michelin star rated chef.

They are fabulous bon viveurs.

 

Hum really wanted to be in the UK, the day after the election but that's how it goes....

 

Do you have any views, you would like to share on either election ?

Hum had you down as eminently sensible, so maybe you would like to restrict it to the EU vote.

[Jim Avery]

From the original 6 founding countries (not the UK till '73) The EU has morphed into a monstrous bureaucracy rivaling, and in some cases exceeding, the same massive government overreach seen in the US. The history of Europe, and indeed most of this planet, is composed of many periods of extreme violence. After one of the most extended eras of "peace" in European history, it seems, unfortunately, that the next era is approaching. European history is exceedingly interesting, complex, and repetitive. The old saying of remember history or be doomed to repeat it is fully realized in Europe. Not much us regular "sports' can do about it. Personally I feel a "Leave" vote will ultimately be the best for the UK. The EU will not be bothered much either way as they seem to be on a collision course with history anyway. Isn't there another famous quote concerning "living in interesting times"? Let's all head for SeaDream and try to ignore the rest of the world.:D

[ho-hum]

I adore this blog with Seadream chums. I sincerely believe it is the only one where we can discuss Politics, Sex, and Cruising where we are not eaten alive.

 

Possibly the fact that on my 1st SD cruise there were only 80 lovely passengers and a most wonderful time. Thanks to HH that I remembered to book another.

 

Ciao,

Contessa di Porto

 

Oh and don't forget embarrassing medical conditions !

But enough about *** !

And buried deep in this forum are a whole gamut (plethora even) of diverse and perverse topics: deeply perverse !

 

We come together here because we love one thing and so that sets the "ground".

Our predominant chosen method of posting to one another is tongue in cheek mildly derogatory "abuse" !

It's like our drinks.

We don't want a sweet finish.

We don't want a bland finish.

We want a long, complex, savoury finish.

Aaaaahhh...... (like an Islay whisky: 10 year old Ardbeg) and "in the day" a Cuban cigar.

Apart from Hum, your good self and ALL the intelligent ones of the species (the ladies) a lot of the regular guys that post are "over the hill", "seen it all", "been there, done that" kinda guys.

Hum is the exception, virile, extremely handsome, intelligent and above all modest and charitable too; where would these "old duffers" be if it were not for ol' Hummy ? Alone in their respective "hobo" encampments around smoky fires for a warm up, drinking dubious liquid made from illegal stills in the back woods, no doubt.

 

No the point is, we are seasoned chums and are well acquainted with the saying that "shet happens". We take a less than reverent attitude to phoney-ness too. Our views and opinions tend to be centred around what is really best for one another and not a screeching, proselytising, evangelical, hyped up nonsense about stuff.

 

And then there are all the other posting opportunities for more practical concerns that can be "dipped into" for valuable information and advice of which there is a vast amount of experience from those here also.

 

Finally, Hum has two wonderful stories about S-E-X on SD.

The first involved a genial elderly Church of England vicar and his narrow minded wife.

And the second actually involved Hum himself and a very attractive older Norwegian "minx" ! No, not in that kind of way ! Really ! There's only Blondie for Hum !

 

Of course Hum will have to think long and hard before telling the stories YET they are on topic, 'cos one involves sailing and the other actually happened at the TOYB !!!

[ho-hum]

Did Hum not advise you all that the internet in Australia was pathetic and then was criticised for whingeing !

Well the internet must be bad because not one Aussie (including Kiwis banished from their country of birth) has been able to post, congratulating the English rugby team for a monumental series win over the men in "green and gold".

.

[MACT]

 

OK, well may Hum be allowed a follow up question on the subject of Scotland and the EU ?

How will they vote ?

And for what reason ?

Voting "Leave", to "trigger" an election for an independent Scotland (as you know, that rather cute lassie has warned Parliament she would) or some other compelling reason/s.

OR

Vote "Remain", this time to prevent the same "trigger" or again for some other compelling reason/s.

 

What are the deciding factors in "Midgeyland"?

- Effect on the cost of whisky (or is it industrial alcohol)

- EU intervention on "frying Mars bars"

- EU proposed changes to air traffic control in Scotland after revealing

- documentary showed bad practices

 

 

 

It's a quandary all right up here for the deluded and hard of thinking.

 

In, out, in, out then shake it all about.

 

But for those half awake and semi sober (not many I give you that) our Dear Leader has pronounced....."vote in (EU) so that we can then vote out (UK), so long as UK votes out and we (Scots EU vote) vote in. Just don't vote out (Scots EU) when there is a vote in (UK)"

 

Yep...me neither.

 

With such clear political thought and judgement you still wonder why we are driven to drink and such an unhealthy diet? "If in doubt deep fry it, that'll kill the bugs".

 

On a lighter note and in readiness for the society wedding in the South of France....What do you call a coat to wear for inclement weather?

 

A Rennie Mackintosh!! Boom Boom!!!!

 

I'll get my coat.

 

MACT

[ctbjr1309]

Even better than that Charlie, Hum has a surprise for you !

 

Mervyn and his "2 daiquiris and she's gone" missus are coming over to you in your new home for a couple of weeks to stay with you !

 

That is outstanding news. Please tell them that they are welcome any time. You should also tell them that the service, accommodations, food and location are dramatically different than they are used to in Jamaica and what they will experience on SeaDream but given that they are friends of yours and Blondie's we'll do everything to make their visit a pleasant one.

[ho-hum]

That is outstanding news. Please tell them that they are welcome any time. You should also tell them that the service, accommodations, food and location are dramatically different than they are used to in Jamaica and what they will experience on SeaDream but given that they are friends of yours and Blondie's we'll do everything to make their visit a pleasant one.

 

As expected, always so generous and kind.

And what a cruel fibber Hum is (pipes and pooches) !

Sincerest apologies, you great sport.

Edited June 20, 2016 by ho-hum

[ho-hum]

I adore this blog with Seadream chums. I sincerely believe it is the only one where we can discuss Politics, Sex, and Cruising where we are not eaten alive.

 

Possibly the fact that on my 1st SD cruise there were only 80 lovely passengers and a most wonderful time. Thanks to HH that I remembered to book another.

 

Ciao,

Contessa di Porto

 

Oh and don't forget embarrassing medical conditions !

But enough about *** !

And buried deep in this forum are a whole gamut (plethora even) of diverse and perverse topics: deeply perverse on occasion !

 

We come together here because we love one thing and so that sets a kind and positive "ground".

Our predominant chosen style of posting is tongue in cheek mildly derogatory "abusive" commenting !

It's like our drinks.

We don't want a sweet finish.

We don't want a bland finish.

We want a long, complex, savoury finish.

Aaaaahhh...... (like an Islay whisky: 10 year old Ardbeg) and "in the day" a Cuban cigar.

Apart from Hum, your good self and ALL the intelligent ones of the species (the ladies) a lot of the regular guys that post are "over the hill", "seen it all", "been there, done that" kinda guys.

Hum is the exception, virile, handsome, intelligent and above all modest and charitable too; where would these "old duffers" be if it were not for ol' Hummy ? Alone in their respective "hobo" encampments around smoky fires for a warm up, drinking dubious spirits made from illegal stills in the back woods, no doubt.

 

No the point is, we are seasoned chums and are well acquainted with the saying that "shet happens" also happens yet we take it in our stride.

 

Finally, Hum has two wonderful stories about S-E-X on SD.

The first involved a genial elderly Church of England vicar and his "as butter wouldn't melt" wife.

And the second actually involved Hum himself and a very attractive older Norwegian "minx" chatting over drinks at the TOYB !

 

Of course Hum will have to think long and hard before telling the stories YET they are on topic, 'cos one involves sailing and the other actually happened at the TOYB !!! And they are essentially innocent (not grubby). One day.

[COCOYOTE]

So exciting (yes really) !!!!

Can't wait to see how "The Donald" broadens his appeal or will he continue his robust "sound bite" remarks during the period from now until the election.

He has already changed Republican politics fundamentally.

When he stood on that platform with the others, nobody came close to "looking the part"

 

 

 

COCOYOTE, Hum has carefully tried to outline the Brits views on the EU referendum as well as Hum's own without showing favour to one side or another.

President Obama told us to vote to "Remain" which helped the "Leave" vote tremendously !

A "wrong move" unfortunately. The UK is a gateway for US products of course and "we" are your guy on the "inside" (everybody else in Europe hates you; less so the Germans).

 

The vote is this Thursday indeed old chum.

 

Hum will be going to the South of France on THAT day for a wedding of the son of Scottish chum's of ours. He is a very famous Scottish architect (Rennee McKintosh's practice: for you MACT) and she is the first woman Michelin star rated chef.

They are fabulous bon viveurs.

 

Hum really wanted to be in the UK, the day after the election but that's how it goes....

 

Do you have any views, you would like to share on either election ?

Hum had you down as eminently sensible, so maybe you would like to restrict it to the EU vote.

 

 

Interesting enough, dear Hum, the local rag here in the Rocky Mountain State actually had an editorial this morning regarding Brexit, stating the rag's opinion of why the UK should not leave the EU. That's what we need, a regional newspaper to provide more international opinion of another country's right to self determination instead of worrying about our own economy and the fractious nature of not only our own political system but of our country in general. I believe the editors of the rag have been smoking what is now legal in our state, that mara-hoochie-wanna stuff.

 

You would hope with the good judgement of the people of the UK, their voting decisions will be based on what is best for the UK and not for what is expedient or easy. Your economy is going to be far more affected than ours - though we will take a hit in the short term as our economy is not US-centric (even though many would like to think so).

 

As to the US election, boy the choices we have! I really cannot see either HC or DT begin our President. At least on the Republican side it shows what a minority of voters in primary elections can do. This is where the minority rules the majority. On the Democrat side it shows what a socialist party the Dems have become when some like Bernie can garner as many votes as he has and only through the capture of the Dems "super delegates" - whatever they are - could HC be assured of the nomination. Free college for all; free health care for all; taxes at 90% of income. Sounds like a few Nordic countries I know.

 

So, there you have it; views on both sides of the pond provided. One last thing - neither election better screw up our plans for retirement - so Hum, our retirement is in your hands.:eek: Thank God we'll be on SD for the election here. :):)

[ho-hum]

Great stuff, dearest hum! :D

 

But it took gcmv 20 minutes to translate and understand ... ;)

 

It's ALWAYS 20 minutes with you GCMV !

Always having to wait 20 minutes for you and the ravishing frau GCMV whenever we play golf !!!

Others complain too !!!

 

Hum uses the word "ravishing" and not beautiful by way of introducing a real story of a faux pas made by a Belgian (and of course SD) chum of Hum.

Our Belgian chum is someone "big" in international transport and he had to give a talk to an assembly of dignitaries including the mayor and mayor's wife of a German city.

Now, his German is "passable" but not completely fluent and he opens his speech intending to complement the mayor's wife by saying how "ravishing" she looks.

Yes it's a bit risque but he has been buoyed by the very friendly welcome and he is a fun guy too.

But when he looks around expecting murmurs of pleasantries, he is astounded to see the German men looking at him with "daggers" whilst the women are giggling and the mayor's wife has also gone bright red !!

 

He stops his speech and asks the man beside him what happened.

He replies that his intention to call the mayor's wife looking ravishing was actually understood in translation that our chum "wanted to ravage" the mayor's wife !!!

A quite different meaning.

 

Our chum explains his error to the audience and apologises for the unintended over familiarity and impoliteness. When he humbly and honestly explained, everybody laughed. They never forget him and always remind him (in an affectionate manner) of his speech.

 

And hopefully GCMV using the word "ravishing" about frau GCMV is not considered offensive here either, old chap.

[ho-hum]

Somethings out of balance in the Universe.

Something just not quite right.

Something’s “bugging” Hum.

 

Ah yes, incontinence pads !

 

Hum wishes to make it abundantly clear that cometh the day when Hum may feel restricted by (another) failing body part and piece of equipment he SHALL make use of just about every God damn piece of equipment known to man to enable him to live a fully functioning existence !

 

So any mis-construed view that Hum was mocking those in need of any kind of equipment, apparatus, insertion, removal of part or parts is simply un-true (and besides Hum was mocking himself).

 

Good on yer (boy or gal) !

 

Hum’s conscience feels lightened and if you are still upset by Hum’s stupid remarks then the sincerest of apologies dearest chum.