Need suggestions for ships that provides marriage for partners

[Turtles06]

Oh Turtles... You have been so helpful! :)

 

This information is really going to save the poor guys from making a big mistake by showing up and not being able to marry. Not to mention them spending money for a trip that they really cannot afford right now.

 

Looks like I will have to be the bearer of bad news.:( I'll still have them call and double check, though. Hopefully, Virginia will come through.

 

I would not put too many eggs in the Virginia basket, particularly if they want to get married in October. Assuming the Sup Ct stays the Fourth Circuit ruling (we'll know that any day), then Virginia is out for the time being and we are in a position of waiting for the Court to act on the cert petitions (petitions for review) that have been filed in the cases out of the Tenth Circuit and the Fourth Circuit.

 

The Court is gone for the summer and the Justices will not meet again to discuss cert petitions until late September. The briefing schedule in the Tenth Circuit and Fourth Circuit cases is such that they may not even be ready for the Justices to discuss at that first conference at the end of September. And there is no timetable for the Justices to grant or deny review. They may want to see what the Sixth Circuit does (it heard argument last week). Assuming they stay the Fourth Circuit case (and I think they will), then it's quite likely things in Virginia (and the other states where challenges are pending) will still be in limbo into October and well beyond.

 

Thank you again for all your research. ;) BTW- We missed you and your partner on the Baltic's cruise. We had a great time, but Russia was not all that special.

 

Thank you on all counts! :) We truly missed getting to meet you and the others on the Roll Call. I've seen Cindy's review with pics -- pretty awesome! But we do not regret not having visited Russia at this time.

[Iamthesea]

We will just keep our fingers crossed! :) An article about Virginia and the current decision was in our local paper today. Sounded more promising than I am reading from you. ;)

 

I have asked my son to call me tonight so that I can tell them the news on Illinois. :(

 

Glad that you have read Cindy's review. Russia had some spectacular buildings, but our feelings about it and the weather matched Cindy's. In addition, we had a pretty bad guide, where Cindy's was good.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Iamthesea

[shepp]

Yknow, California grants licenses to non-residents with no waiting period. If the guys haven't been to San Francisco, they could fly out here, get hitched at City Hall, and sail out under the Golden Gate Bridge. Not too shabby, and if they prefer Disneyland, there are sailings out of L.A.

[Iamthesea]

It's the flying part that will be a hardship on both time and money. We would pay for the cruise, but not the airfare. Better someplace closer for them. ;)

 

I'll explain options to them tonight.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Iamthesea

[Turtles06]

It's the flying part that will be a hardship on both time and money. We would pay for the cruise, but not the airfare. Better someplace closer for them. ;)

 

I'll explain options to them tonight.

 

If they want to drive, what about Iowa (or is that too far)? My understanding is that it doesn't have the non-resident issue that Illinois has.

[Iamthesea]

Iowa would be a 10-12 hour drive, depending on where in Iowa they would go.

 

If VA didn't work out, the drive from us to Baltimore is 7. So 10 hours for them, broken up with an overnight stop at our house. However, right now, the airfare from us to Baltimore is pretty good! ;)

 

The guys will have to make a decision pretty soon.

[Iamthesea]

If you have not seen this article, I had to share. :)

http://news.msn.com/us/together-48-years-couple-fights-nc-marriage-ban

[Turtles06]

If you have not seen this article, I had to share. :)

http://news.msn.com/us/together-48-years-couple-fights-nc-marriage-ban

 

Thanks for the link. I love reading heartwarming stories like that.

[Turtles06]

Iowa would be a 10-12 hour drive, depending on where in Iowa they would go.

 

If VA didn't work out, the drive from us to Baltimore is 7. So 10 hours for them, broken up with an overnight stop at our house. However, right now, the airfare from us to Baltimore is pretty good! ;)

 

The guys will have to make a decision pretty soon.

 

A few FYIs re Maryland. First, you must get the license in the county in which you will be married. Also, the license is not effective (you can't get married) until 6am on the second day after it's issued (some call this a 48-hour waiting period). However, I believe the waiting period can be waived by a judge for "good cause shown" (e.g., one of the spouses is in the military).

 

Non-residents can avoid the waiting period by applying for the license by mail, but the form needs to be signed by a clerk of the court or marriage license agent in the applicants' own state. (Query whether your son and his partner can find a friendly such official in TN for that purpose. The alternative is to apply in person in Maryland and wait the 48 hours.) Here's the non-resident application form:

 

http://www.courts.state.md.us/clerks/wicomico/pdfs/nonresaffidavit.pdf

 

Here's the web page for Baltimore County marriage license info:

 

http://www.baltimorecountymd.gov/agencies/circuit/courts_faq/marriage_faq.html

[Boytjie]

In New York, you need to apply for a marriage license and then there is a 24 hour waiting period before you can get married - you can request a judicial waiver from the County Clerk for that requirement.

http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/license.shtml

 

You would have to check the procedures and requirements for any state considered - things are different.

[Iamthesea]

Helpful as always. :)

 

Ugh...what did I get myself into. :rolleyes::) LOL

 

It would be so much easier if TN legalized SSM. Perhaps if the guys could just wait. Maybe they could do everything in TN by October 2015. :)

 

Thanks again!

[Boytjie]

Perhaps their original plan is still best: get married somewhere where it is legal and then have a celebration at a later time and place that is more convenient for family and friends to attend.

 

Lucky guys that have you supporting them! :)

[Iamthesea]

They are going with their original plan of having a celebration later. The date and venue booked and paid for! It's the where to get married part of their original plan that has gone by the wayside. Will not work in Illinois. ;)

[Turtles06]

Helpful as always. :)

 

Ugh...what did I get myself into. :rolleyes::) LOL

 

It would be so much easier if TN legalized SSM. Perhaps if the guys could just wait. Maybe they could do everything in TN by October 2015. :)

 

Thanks again!

Indeed! And it would be so much easier if all the inequality states repealed their laws.;)

 

In terms of waiting, just to put thing in perspective for the guys, my partner and I had to wait 26 years...:eek:

 

BTW, New York only has a 24-hour waiting period between the time you get your license and the time you can marry.

 

http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/license.shtml

[Boytjie]

:BTW, New York only has a 24-hour waiting period between the time you get your license and the time you can marry.

 

 

 

http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/license.shtml

 

 

And as I mentioned, you can get a waiver for that. :)

 

Tip: don't try to do any of it on a Friday or Monday - midweek is faster.

[Iamthesea]

Indeed! And it would be so much easier if all the inequality states repealed their laws.;)

 

In terms of waiting, just to put thing in perspective for the guys, my partner and I had to wait 26 years...:eek:

 

BTW, New York only has a 24-hour waiting period between the time you get your license and the time you can marry.

 

http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/license.shtml

 

And as I mentioned, you can get a waiver for that. :)

 

Tip: don't try to do any of it on a Friday or Monday - midweek is faster.

 

 

New York sounds like the best bet, and probably the most expensive. :eek:

 

Thank you both for the suggestions and tips. ;)

 

Turtles, congratulations on such a long relationship. You are going to be like the couple in the video that I posted. :D

 

Getting a call tonight from my son and partner. I'll let you know what their reaction is.

[Turtles06]

Turtles, congratulations on such a long relationship. You are going to be like the couple in the video that I posted. :D

 

 

Thank you, and those two are great role models. :)

 

(You know that your son and his partner are going to have to invite everyone on this thread to the wedding, right? :) )

[keithm]

Absolutely. It's coming. It's just that it's not surprising that Florida, from Anita Bryant onward, hasn't been in the vanguard of queer rights. Old folks, Cuban Catholics, and, once you get beyond MIA-FLL and MCO, a bunch of self-described "crackers" (as my Floridian mother-in-law happily calls herself) and a church on every corner. Not the most fertile ground for marriage equality.

I love how there's also a "Pyschic" studio on nearly every corner as well.

[chicagopaul]

Flying to Cali can definitely be expensive but I've seen some extremely cheap deals out of Chicago on Virgin to both San Francisco and LA. In some cases, dirt cheap....$130 each way with tax. Check out TravelZoo and Orbitz for the airfare! Good Luck and I wish them the best!

[Iamthesea]

Thank you, and those two are great role models. :)

 

(You know that your son and his partner are going to have to invite everyone on this thread to the wedding, right? :) )

 

:D

 

Flying to Cali can definitely be expensive but I've seen some extremely cheap deals out of Chicago on Virgin to both San Francisco and LA. In some cases, dirt cheap....$130 each way with tax. Check out TravelZoo and Orbitz for the airfare! Good Luck and I wish them the best!

 

:confused: Yes, but how would they get to Chicago? :)

 

Anyway, I am leaving all that up to them. I am going to be the messenger for now. ;)

 

Change of plans for the call. Partner is in graduate school and had paper work due by midnight tonight. As I wanted to talk to them both by speaker phone, and the fact that he is working on a paper, I did not want to upset them. We are talking tomorrow.

[Iamthesea]

Talked to the guys. ;)

 

They had no idea about this law in Illinois. They had actually called the county where they were planning to get the license and nothing was said about them not being able to marry there. They did say that they asked the clerk if a judge could marry them in the courthouse, and she said that none of the judges would. They would have to find an ordained minister or someone who would be willing to perform the ceremony.

 

I advised them to call back and ask the question! I have also sent them the information that I found and articles that you all have supplied.

 

Surprisingly, the guys do not seem to be disturbed by this news. They asked me to look into NYC for them - their suggestion for a back-up. ;) I explained that I would, but that NY was not very drivable (at least I do not want them to drive. Mama bear here. :rolleyes:) and they said to look up flights for them. I told them that it would be an expensive trip to be in NYC.

 

I told them about the possibilities of legalization in VA, and perhaps even TN in the next year. They liked that VA may be an option, but were adamant that they did not want to wait and needed to marry on Oct. 11th.

 

I asked the guys about when they were planning a honeymoon. They said that they would like to make a vacation out of getting the license and marrying, but not a huge one. They hope to take a proper honeymoon after the wedding reception in 2016.

 

 

Although I did not say anything about a wedding gift of a cruise, I did mentioned the possibility of them getting a license in NY and then taking a cruise and getting married on the ship. They thought that was a really cool idea! :)

 

We left it that I would do some research for them on laws, flights, hotels and places that would marry them in NY. I will also look up cruise info. A lot to do! :eek:

Edited August 16, 2014 by Iamthesea

[Turtles06]

Talked to the guys. ;)

 

They had no idea about this law in Illinois. They had actually called the county where they were planning to get the license and nothing was said about them not being able to marry there. They did say that they asked the clerk if a judge could marry them in the courthouse, and she said that none of the judges would. They would have to find an ordained minister or someone who would be willing to perform the ceremony.

 

I advised them to call back and ask the question! I have also sent them the information that I found and articles that you all have supplied.

 

I've checked directly with a gay rights legal expert in Illinois. Here's what's happening "on the ground" -- Some clerks, particularly in Chicago and Springfield, are ignoring the non-residency issue and giving any couple a marriage license, regardless of where they live. BUT under Illinois law, as we've discussed above, the marriage would be void if it would be void in the state of the couple's residence, which unfortunately is the case for your son and his partner in TN. So the fact that some clerk in Illinois might give them a marriage license doesn't mean they would have a valid Illinois marriage. As my contact advised, why get married under a big legal cloud when there are states where they could marry where there's no question that the marriage would be valid?

 

Although I did not say anything about a wedding gift of a cruise, I did mentioned the possibility of them getting a license in NY and then taking a cruise and getting married on the ship. They thought that was a really cool idea! :)

 

We left it that I would do some research for them on laws, flights, hotels and places that would marry them in NY. I will also look up cruise info. A lot to do! :eek:

 

They are really lucky to have you as a Mom and future MIL! :)

[Iamthesea]

I am sending that to them, now! :D

 

The partner and I have not always gotten along. In fact, the relationship between he and my entire family is on the rocks. Not because of the gay issue...it's more a personality conflict issue. :rolleyes: My son has been caught in the middle.:( We have not seen him in 16 months. It's been longer since we have seen his partner. Over 2 years! (My son is 26 and I have known he was gay since he was in the 8th grade. The rest of the family found out his Senior year of HS. DH and I accepted, while his sisters have had a hard time. My DH's brother was also gay, so that has helped in the understanding.) I have been trying my best to mend the fences with my son and his partner. This is a big step, as the partner was the first one to ask my help. :)

[Boytjie]

The easiest place to get married in NY is the City Clerk's office in Downtown Manhattan.

 

They can fill the application for a marriage license online and also get information on applying for a waiver of the 24 hour waiting period. So, they should be able to do this all with one visit to the office. The cost for the marriage license is $35 and to get married is $25.

 

It is a really nice place where this takes place and everybody is very helpful and so friendly there. As I said: avoid Mondays and Fridays because they are the busiest days.

 

Here is the city's web page for marriages: http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/license.shtml#intro

Edited August 16, 2014 by Boytjie

[Iamthesea]

Thank you! :) Can we stay with you? :D

 

Seriously, I am a nervous wreck flying and staying in NYC without my husband. :eek: