Dress Code for Men

[mahasamatman]

We love dressing up, particularly to go dancing. For Gala nights on Cunard and P&O, I generally ditch the "semi-formal" tuxedo/dinner jacket and wear formal tails. I have a set of black tails and a set of white tails, and I will sometimes even mix-and-match on "black and white" theme nights.

[rmsEtruria]

1 hour ago, mahasamatman said:

We love dressing up, particularly to go dancing. For Gala nights on Cunard and P&O, I generally ditch the "semi-formal" tuxedo/dinner jacket and wear formal tails. I have a set of black tails and a set of white tails, and I will sometimes even mix-and-match on "black and white" theme nights.

I’d love to have a set of tails, but living in a world where not just tuxedos are—improperly—called “formal,” but practically any combination of jacket and trousers (ties now being optional), I just don’t see when and where I could wear them. Sigh . . . .

[mahasamatman]

20 hours ago, rmsEtruria said:

I just don’t see when and where I could wear them.

 

On a cruise ship!

 

Seriously, there are more opportunities than you might think. I bought my first set 30 years ago (yes, the same suit still fits) specifically for murder mystery weekends where everyone comes in character. I wore my tails for my wedding, NYE, and sometimes on halloween. Many cities also have black-and-white balls sometime during the year.

[LittleFish1976]

I thought Cunard made a distinction between a collared shirt and a 'knitted collared shirt' the latter being not up to snuff.

 

A polo shirt is a t-shirt, after all. It's made from an interlock fabric.

[NE John]

35 minutes ago, LittleFish1976 said:

I thought Cunard made a distinction between a collared shirt and a 'knitted collared shirt' the latter being not up to snuff.

 

A polo shirt is a t-shirt, after all. It's made from an interlock fabric.

Kinda…The Cunard site says Smart Attire evenings “simply means a Dress shirt and trousers”. Beforehand it said collared shirt and some read as polos. The idea of how someone from NYC sees a dress shirt can be different from how someone from other parts of the country may think of a dress shirt. There is no mention of sports jackets/blazers as even an option to wear in the evenings. At least they got rid of the channeling your inner James Bond phrasing. 

[bluemarble]

1 hour ago, NE John said:

... At least they got rid of the channeling your inner James Bond phrasing. 

 

The James Bond reference is still there on the Cunard UK website. The UK site has "Formal dresses" and "Formal suits" sections on the "What to pack" page which are not found on the US site. The "Formal suits" section includes this wording.

 

"Most of our guests ... relish the opportunity to put on a Tuxedo for one night and channel their James Bond alter-ego."

[rmsEtruria]

2 hours ago, NE John said:

Kinda…The Cunard site says Smart Attire evenings “simply means a Dress shirt and trousers”. Beforehand it said collared shirt and some read as polos. The idea of how someone from NYC sees a dress shirt can be different from how someone from other parts of the country may think of a dress shirt. There is no mention of sports jackets/blazers as even an option to wear in the evenings. At least they got rid of the channeling your inner James Bond phrasing. 

Really? (I haven’t looked at the site in a while.) Pity.

[david63]

5 hours ago, NE John said:

how someone from NYC sees a dress shirt can be different from how someone from other parts of the country may think of a dress shirt

There is also the difference of terminology of a dress shirt in the UK and USA. In the UK a dress shirt is one that is worn with an evening suit/tuxedo.

[Victoria2]

To my mind, a dress shirt is one which can be worn with a tie...or not for a more relaxed style.

 

I have yet to see a polo shirt worn with a tie.

[buchanan101]

2 minutes ago, Victoria2 said:

To my mind, a dress shirt is one which can be worn with a tie...or not for a more relaxed style.

 

I have yet to see a polo shirt worn with a tie.

Yet elsewhere "collared shirt" is referred to...and round and round we go again!

 

Lots - most - of my (non polo) collared shirts would look rather daft with a tie, so there's that as well (try matching a tie to the type of checked shirt typically sold by Crew Clothing who have supplied most of my wardrobe!)

 

I've worn a polo shirt with jacket (and "dress" shirts with and without a jacket, never with a tie). No one has stopped me. I think it's smart enough. I'm on a holiday that I've paid a fair amount of money for and I don't really care if other passengers don't approve. I'm not affecting them in any material way

[Victoria2]

buchanan101,what you wear is your own business. My comment was a general one. My thoughts and mine alone. Yours are yours.

Fine.

[buchanan101]

8 minutes ago, Victoria2 said:

buchanan101,what you wear is your own business. My comment was a general one. My thoughts and mine alone. Yours are yours.

Fine.

Apologies Victoria - my comment was a general one too as there appears to be people on here who *do* seem to care what others wear; indeed I've seen more pomposity here than I've seen on a Cunard ship where really no one DOES care

[exlondoner]

9 minutes ago, buchanan101 said:

Apologies Victoria - my comment was a general one too as there appears to be people on here who *do* seem to care what others wear; indeed I've seen more pomposity here than I've seen on a Cunard ship where really no one DOES care

Of course people care - or at least take an interest in - what others wear. Clothes bore me, though I always manage to keep to the dress code, which is easier for women anyhow. But nonetheless I greatly enjoy seeing elegantly dressed people in their finery arriving for formal night. It is far more fun than seeing people arrive in sweaty T-shirts and grubby shorts, and I think a number of smartly dressed people enjoy the impression they make, so they hope people care. So, as a sort of enjoyable aesthetic experience, I definitely care. On the other hand, I doubt I should notice the minutiae of male dress so long as nothing is too minute. 😀 

[buchanan101]

1 minute ago, exlondoner said:

Of course people care - or at least take an interest in - what others wear. Clothes bore me, though I always manage to keep to the dress code, which is easier for women anyhow. But nonetheless I greatly enjoy seeing elegantly dressed people in their finery arriving for formal night. It is far more fun than seeing people arrive in sweaty T-shirts and grubby shorts, and I think a number of smartly dressed people enjoy the impression they make, so they hope people care. So, as a sort of enjoyable aesthetic experience, I definitely care. On the other hand, I doubt I should notice the minutiae of male dress so long as nothing is too minute. 😀 

I think the general conversation was about non formal nights; I have a DJ etc for formal nights and I enjoy wearing it. I even bought a properly fitted dinner suit for the last cruise/crossing (so I need to cruise more to get the value from it). But the rest of the time, I think I follow the code and I think I'm smart enough...

 

...yes it IS easier for women (but probably at the same time harder..) as there's a lot more leeway. My OH bought a couple of nice Hobbs dresses last time, but this time she will also have a unique home made dress that I rather like 😉.

[exlondoner]

1 minute ago, buchanan101 said:

I think the general conversation was about non formal nights; I have a DJ etc for formal nights and I enjoy wearing it. I even bought a properly fitted dinner suit for the last cruise/crossing (so I need to cruise more to get the value from it). But the rest of the time, I think I follow the code and I think I'm smart enough...

 

...yes it IS easier for women (but probably at the same time harder..) as there's a lot more leeway. My OH bought a couple of nice Hobbs dresses last time, but this time she will also have a unique home made dress that I rather like 😉.

I am still wearing a long black dress I bought for my first crossing in 1997. Luckily it was flowing rather than tight fitting.

[King Amo]

I don't think formal nights are the issue here though - it's trying to navigate the 'Smart attire' nights by trying to balance the actual dress code requirements (rather than what some think they should be), remaining comfortable in what you are wearing (both physically and mentally), and genuinely not offending people. 

 

Dress code is never an easy thing for a venue to articulate, as there is so much scope for things to fall through the gaps, but Cunard in particular have been pretty poor over the years with their inconsistent phraseology. Combine that with a clientele that is on the whole more mature and often British, who perhaps have more traditional expectations, and you understandably get threads like this. 

 

As Buchanan has said, this is people's holidays, and in my view no-one who has made an effort should be made to feel like they are letting the side down. 

[buchanan101]

1 hour ago, King Amo said:

I don't think formal nights are the issue here though - it's trying to navigate the 'Smart attire' nights by trying to balance the actual dress code requirements (rather than what some think they should be), remaining comfortable in what you are wearing (both physically and mentally), and genuinely not offending people. 

 

Dress code is never an easy thing for a venue to articulate, as there is so much scope for things to fall through the gaps, but Cunard in particular have been pretty poor over the years with their inconsistent phraseology. Combine that with a clientele that is on the whole more mature and often British, who perhaps have more traditional expectations, and you understandably get threads like this. 

 

As Buchanan has said, this is people's holidays, and in my view no-one who has made an effort should be made to feel like they are letting the side down. 

I understand that Cunard have relaxed the code somewhat, but this merely reflects societal changes; I haven't worn a suit for work in about 35 years, and haven't worn a tie for about 25/30 (these are guesses obviously). And Cunard obviously don't want to exclude a growing proportion of the population so have a fine line to tread

 

Having said that, I liked dressing up on gala nights (in my specially bought DJ), and had no problem with being smart (at least for me) on other nights. But thank you @King Amo - it's a holiday after all...

[Victoria2]

4 hours ago, buchanan101 said:

Apologies Victoria - my comment was a general one too as there appears to be people on here who *do* seem to care what others wear; indeed I've seen more pomposity here than I've seen on a Cunard ship where really no one DOES care

There is little pomposity onboard although I have come across the odd passenger who likes to show off. Bless their little cotton socks! 😀 They don't realise how amusing they are!

 

We follow dress advisories above and beyond for the most part, and I definitely care what folk wear, but hopefully, I have the manners not to show it. 🙂

[exlondoner]

1 minute ago, Victoria2 said:

There is little pomposity onboard although I have come across the odd passenger who likes to show off. Bless their little cotton socks! 😀 They don't realise how amusing they are!

 

We follow dress advisories above and beyond for the most part, and I definitely care what folk wear, but hopefully, I have the manners not to show it. 🙂

Is it bad manners to mention you admire someone’s dress? Surely not. It is only disapproval one should be wary of expressing, I should have thought? On the other hand, perhaps it is not as simple as that, for, if someone expressed admiration to me, I should assume they were being sarcastic, which isn’t good either. So perhaps it is best not to say anything in any circumstance.😀

[Victoria2]

10 minutes ago, exlondoner said:

Is it bad manners to mention you admire someone’s dress? Surely not. It is only disapproval one should be wary of expressing, I should have thought? On the other hand, perhaps it is not as simple as that, for, if someone expressed admiration to me, I should assume they were being sarcastic, which isn’t good either. So perhaps it is best not to say anything in any circumstance.😀

Bad manners to admire a beautifully turned out fellow passenger?

 

I think you are taking 2 plus 2 and making 5.

 

 

[D&N]

I should have made clear in post #74; that was not a gala night (at least not a Cunard one).

I only wore the black tuxes on official gala nights.

 

While there are only four gala nights in fourteen, I'll keep the ivory tux for smart attire nights. For me it's a wee bit casual for a gala night. If there were more galas I'd possibly wear it for some.

[King Amo]

10 minutes ago, D&N said:

I should have made clear in post #74; that was not a gala night (at least not a Cunard one).

I only wore the black tuxes on official gala nights.

 

While there are only four gala nights in fourteen, I'll keep the ivory tux for smart attire nights. For me it's a wee bit casual for a gala night. If there were more galas I'd possibly wear it for some.

Which is great, and clearly brings you pleasure to do so. Bringing what sounds to be at least three dinner suits, given your use of the plural, is not to be expected of most guests though, and goes well above both the stated dress code, and the predominant interpretation of the dress code by guests. 

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing up, and cruises give a greater opportunity to do so than most have in their day to day lives or other forms of holidays. For some, however, this sort of thing can be quite anxiety-inducing, worrying about how they will fit in, be perceived by staff and other guests, and simply feeling out of their comfort zone. As such I would hope that anyone who is reading this thread, and worried about what to wear and how they will be perceived don't feel there is such a high bar and may be put off from booking Cunard, as they would be missing out.  

[D&N]

1 minute ago, King Amo said:

Which is great, and clearly brings you pleasure to do so. Bringing what sounds to be at least three dinner suits, given your use of the plural, is not to be expected of most guests though, and goes well above both the stated dress code, and the predominant interpretation of the dress code by guests. 

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing up, and cruises give a greater opportunity to do so than most have in their day to day lives or other forms of holidays. For some, however, this sort of thing can be quite anxiety-inducing, worrying about how they will fit in, be perceived by staff and other guests, and simply feeling out of their comfort zone. As such I would hope that anyone who is reading this thread, and worried about what to wear and how they will be perceived don't feel there is such a high bar and may be put off from booking Cunard, as they would be missing out.  

Exactly.

For the next twice I will only wear those three dinner suits on the fourteen nights, plus varied accessories. It may even reduce what I need to pack. It also gives flexibility to send them for cleaning, which I will do at least once each as I'd trust the laundry more than our local dry cleaners and it'll be cheaper.

In my case just about the only thing I miss about work is wearing suits and ties when I was in an office or meetings. My base was at home, so I didn't go to those lengths to sit at my kitchen table! And even though I had the tech back then for video calls, none of my colleagues did.

 

But for folk that just want to match the advised dress code, it's not difficult. I admit to feeling slightly perplexed when folk come along trying to find ways of avoiding dressing to that code, but on the ship I'm unlikely to notice much other than my wife.

We might comment between ourselves now and again if someone is wearing a particularly stunning outfit, or hopefully less frequently something awful like ripped jeans or sportswear at dinner.

 

[Victoria2]

King Amo, I totally agree.

 

The high bar set on this board by some is not the norm and could put newbies off when the reality is of a well dressed passenger community whose chaps may or may not be Gala black tie'd and who might/might not wear a jacket of an evening.

 

 

[buchanan101]

29 minutes ago, Victoria2 said:

King Amo, I totally agree.

 

The high bar set on this board by some is not the norm and could put newbies off when the reality is of a well dressed passenger community whose chaps may or may not be Gala black tie'd and who might/might not wear a jacket of an evening.

 

 

Hence my comment about more pomposity on occasion on here than seen on board.

 

@D&N Don't miss wearing suits or even a tie at work - that went out decades ago in the business I am in (engineering consulting). The only concession I tend to make is not to wear jeans when seeing a client! Even then, depends on the client...