Would like the opinion of this experienced group

[HookLine&Sinker]

DH and I will be cruising in March 07 on the Explorer to celebrate his 50th B-day. This will be our 2nd cruise and the 1st one just the 2 of us. Previously we cruised with long time friends.

 

I have some anxieties around the dinning room experience. I am severely hearing impaired and wear hearing aids in each ear and speech read. I have no speech issues at all it just can be difficult for me to hear in large groups, restaurants etc. I can hear much better one on one.

 

I don't want to request a table for 2 as DH is very social and we enjoy meeting new people. Though I must admit I can be alittle shy as I'm always afraid someone will ask me a question and I will answer incorrectly because I didn't hear quite right. Which can be rather amusing when your with friends/family but with strangers its not always so funny :o . Anyway, I promise there is a question in here somewhere . . . We are hoping to be seated at a table for 6 rather than a large table for 10.

 

If we were dinning together would it be awkward for you if sometime during our first dinner together I shared with you that I was hearing imparied and apologized in advance if I ask you to repeat yourself or answer incorrectly etc. I don't want to make other people uncomfortable but I hate when people get a misconception of me that I am snobby, stuck up, uninterested or uninteresting because I don't hear so well. If I can tell people upfront about myself I feel more comfortable joining in and potentially making mistakes. My husband interprets a lot for me but I like to try and be on my own when I can.

 

I'm sorry this is so long but after reading some other dinning posts about shaking hands, not shaking hands, praying at dinner, drinking or not drinking I started to get nervous and thought I would throw my question out there to this very informed group and see what others thought. I don't want to make it awkward for others but if I don't say anything that people tend to think I'm much different than I really am.

 

TIA for your thoughts.

[NekkidFish]

If we were dinning together would it be awkward for you if sometime during our first dinner together I shared with you that I was hearing imparied and apologized in advance if I ask you to repeat yourself or answer incorrectly etc.

 

That is exactly what I'd want you to do! :D

 

I would then know that looking at you while I talked would help our communication! :)

 

My step-Dad was the same way. Big crowds made it darned near impossible for him to hear anything!

 

HUGz! Jules

[DonnaK]

I would also feel most comfortable if you mentioned your hearing impairment at the start, so that I could be more considerate and more understanding.

[Bell Ringer]

A table for 6 would be great for you. I am sure you can slip into the conversation during the first dinner what you would like to share about your limited hearing, and how you really try hard to lip read, so please be patient with you. If we were at your table, it would be much better to understand your situation rather than guessing what the problem may be.

We all have limitations and we all need to understand each other. Go for it!

[HookLine&Sinker]

Jules, you brought tears to my eyes, thank you. You are so right, if I can't see your face I can't hear you. I don't know why I'm so worried about this.

 

I started losing my hearing in my late 20's (I'm now 45) and its only been the last 4 years or so that its gotten really bad so I'm still learning how to intellectually navigate as a hearing impaired person. It isn't how I think of myself until I find myself in a situation that brings it to the forefront like trying to order fast food at the drive thru window. Sometimes I get the super size meal or sometimes its the Happy Meal, I just answer yes and hope for the best:)

[yogimax]

I am sorry we will not be on the same cruise. It would have been a true joy to share a table with you and your husband!

[Fran Harp]

If we were dinning together would it be awkward for you if sometime during our first dinner together I shared with you that I was hearing imparied and apologized in advance if I ask you to repeat yourself or answer incorrectly etc. I don't want to make other people uncomfortable but I hate when people get a misconception of me that I am snobby, stuck up, uninterested or uninteresting because I don't hear so well. If I can tell people upfront about myself I feel more comfortable joining in and potentially making mistakes. My husband interprets a lot for me but I like to try and be on my own when I can.

 

TIA for your thoughts.

 

I'd want to know about your hearing impairment...be upfront by all means...because it would mean I could be more careful in communicating with you as well.:) and maybe be helpful sometimes, too!

 

Fran in Toronto

[NekkidFish]

Jules, you brought tears to my eyes, thank you.

 

You're welcome ... but I didn't mean to make you cry! ;)

 

I'm sorry that you started losing your hearing so early ... that's hard to deal with it!

 

But deal with it you will ...

 

And don't settle for the happy meal if you're in the mood for a Whopper! :D

 

Big HUGz! Jules

[masonpips]

I am sorry we will not be on the same cruise. It would have been a true joy to share a table with you and your husband!

 

Ditto! Definitely bring it up at the first dinner and I'm sure your table mates will appreciate it and you will have a fabulous time!

[Buccaneergirl]

I agree w/ everyone else! Bring it up the first night and I think you will find everyone will be fine w/it! Please report back after the cruise and let us know how it went!!:D

[Happy ks]

I would be delighted to sit with you as well.

 

I work with young children with disabilities and while I would not consider you disabled, I know how to adapt!

 

Would you be offended in any way if I mention that you consider bringing a note pad and pen/pencil with you? It might make conversation go a little more smoothly if you are clear about the subject.

 

I hope you and your husband have a wonderful cruise!

 

Edit to add (because I always think of things later) I have a hard time hearing in the dining room too! Could you perhaps call the cruiseline ahead of time and request a table in the corner, so you have 2 walls next to you. The open area is always the noisiest part of the room.

[rharvey999]

Not sure how many times you can read the same thing...be up front about it, make no apologies for it...and enjoy your new friends.

 

As a parent of a deaf son, and one who has signed for the last 29 years your willingness to be a part rather than sitting back wishing you could is the important thing. My son has taught me one thing...he can't hear...so what?

 

It doesn't change who you are...and you sound like you and your husband will be the hit of the ball. Give the other folks a chance, I bet you'll be amazed.

[sdear]

By all means bring it up !

 

Have a great cruise ......you sound like a very nice person to share a table with ! :)

[wrp96]

Definitely bring it up. I love large tables to meet people, but due to a hearing loss (not a severe one), I try to be the first one at the table so I can position myself in the middle and still be able to hear conversations. I had never thought of bringing it up to other people, but I probably will in the future.

[montekat]

Not sure how many times you can read the same thing...be up front about it, make no apologies for it...and enjoy your new friends.

 

As a parent of a deaf son, and one who has signed for the last 29 years your willingness to be a part rather than sitting back wishing you could is the important thing. My son has taught me one thing...he can't hear...so what?

 

It doesn't change who you are...and you sound like you and your husband will be the hit of the ball. Give the other folks a chance, I bet you'll be amazed.

 

Hey, my son is 29 also and has been profoundly deaf since 10 months when he had meningitis. He met his wife who is also deaf at Gallaudet and they were married onboard a cruise ship. They have to use sign language, but it has never been a problem for them to communicate. Everyone just bent over backwards to help them. They have been on 4 cruises so far and wouild love to go again.

 

If you need it, be sure to ask the cruise ship for the "deaf kit". It consists of a door knocker, flashing alarm clock and closed captioning device for the TV if it is not already equipped for it as well as a TDD so you can call for room service, etc.

[rharvey999]

Monetekat (hope I remembered the spelling) my son also graduated from Gallaudet. Great school...and one of the only schools where the President of US signs their diplomas. My son, Derek, took a bit longer to graduate but made it through and received his diploma in 2003. Now works for the Deptartment of Agriculture in Kansas City. Perhaps they were classmates at some time. He graduated from the Kansas School for the Deaf.

 

Sorry to the other posters...Gallaudet holds a special place in many hearts.

[montekat]

Monetekat (hope I remembered the spelling) my son also graduated from Gallaudet. Great school...and one of the only schools where the President of US signs their diplomas. My son, Derek, took a bit longer to graduate but made it through and received his diploma in 2003. Now works for the Deptartment of Agriculture in Kansas City. Perhaps they were classmates at some time. He graduated from the Kansas School for the Deaf.

 

Sorry to the other posters...Gallaudet holds a special place in many hearts.

My son Troy and his wife Ping graduated in 2001. You are right, it is a wonderful school! It is possible they may have shared some classes.

[rharvey999]

I'll ask Derek if he remembers Troy and Ping.

 

Go Bisons!!!

[HookLine&Sinker]

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and suggestions. It didn't occur to me to ask for a table along the wall, that's a great suggestion and I always show up early so I can pick a seat that gives me the best opportunity to hear and see everyone. I think we will check to see where our table is first thing and see if we can get a table for 6 against the wall.

 

I did get the deaf kit and was very impressed with what it consisted of and how prepared they were for me. Within 5 minutes of checking in with the Guest Relations Desk (I had requested it on-line through the special needs email) they were installing it in our cabin. I also used the assisted listening device for the theatre and enjoyed every minute of the shows.

 

Losing my hearing so dramatically over the last few years has redefined who I am and I'm still learning the new me if that makes any sense. I thank you for your responses as it has given me confidence to just put myself out there and hope that my table mates will be just as kind and understanding as you folks.

[shrimp0]

You can also go to the Maitre D on the first day.. there is a time listed on the compass when he is available to meet with guests. This is when you can see where your table is located and how many are at your table. Then, if need be... you can ask for a change.

And just as others have said... I too would be happy to share a table with you. You may also want to try switching seats around the table through the week to get to know everyone better.

 

Also, dont let your hearing impairment make life a guessing game... like at the drive thru.... You can tell the person that you have a hearing impairment and will be ordering at the window. They should then give you a picture menu... or you will be able to see the person face to face and place your order that way. We have a local restaurant with a drive thru that installed a call button for all disabilites to let the person on the other end know that the person coming around in the car will need some kind of assistance. (great for hearing impaired with limited speech)

[Merion_Mom]

but after reading some other dining posts about shaking hands, not shaking hands, praying at dinner, drinking or not drinking

Yes, well, there are idiots and socially-backwards people on every cruise, but most of us are surprisingly normal and really quite friendly!

 

You can sit at my table any time, and PLEASE tell me about your needs. My "friend" has a hearing loss in one ear, and we are always careful about which side I sit on at a restaurant or other noisy place.

Monetekat (hope I remembered the spelling) my son also graduated from Gallaudet. Great school...and one of the only schools where the President of US signs their diplomas. My son, Derek, took a bit longer to graduate but made it through and received his diploma in 2003. Now works for the Deptartment of Agriculture in Kansas City. Perhaps they were classmates at some time. He graduated from the Kansas School for the Deaf.

 

Sorry to the other posters...Gallaudet holds a special place in many hearts.

No apologies necessary! (my cousin wasthisclose to becoming the next President of Gallaudet).

[beachchick]

If we were dinning together would it be awkward for you if sometime during our first dinner together I shared with you that I was hearing imparied and apologized in advance if I ask you to repeat yourself or answer incorrectly etc. I don't want to make other people uncomfortable but I hate when people get a misconception of me that I am snobby, stuck up, uninterested or uninteresting because I don't hear so well. If I can tell people upfront about myself I feel more comfortable joining in and potentially making mistakes. My husband interprets a lot for me but I like to try and be on my own when I can.

 

I also have a significant hearing loss in one ear (and the other is now starting). I can't wear hearing aids, so it's been challenging, but my DH (like yours) has been wonderful in helping me (even when I know he's frustrated too).

 

By all means let your table mates know the first night, including which seat at the table will be best for you. I find that most people are terrific about these kinds of issues. I too often hesitate to mention it, but know it's best to just say so right up front. My biggest concern is some of the "assumptions" (many unconscious) that people make, such as that hearing loss = IQ loss or the "pity" looks.

 

I think you will be just fine and have a lovely time. Definitely check table location right away and ask to be moved if necessary. Even if the ship is full, you should let the staff know that you need the change (as opposed to simply not liking the location).

 

Finally, do not apologize! You have no reason to apologize to anyone. I would suggest that instead you thank them in advance for their patience.

 

Hope your cruise is wonderful.:D

 

beachchick

[salharrison2004]

I wouldn't have thought that anyone in this day and age would be as obnoxious as to discriminate against someone with hearing difficulties, My son is 7 and when we come accross someone with assistance needs, I do not shy him away, I explain what is matter with the person and what this means and why it happens. He I hope in turn will turn into a very educated and unbiased young man. If you were sat at our table I would appriciate that by coming on the cruise you would have opened his eyes to another way of life and I'm sure he would relish in helping you. Of course me and my partner would be happy to enjoy conversations with you and your family and speaking more clearly or slowly would not make for bad conversation.

 

Enjoy your cruise

[cindiedee]

Hey! I, too, am HOH and wear 2 hearing aides. I also started losing my hearing in my early 20's - I am now 54 and have less than 20% total hearing left which pretty much leaves me not able to hear much but sounds. I know you are talking to me, I just can't understand the speech. I was fortunate in that when I first started losing my hearing, I went to a 2 week class on lip reading - and of course since I have had 30+ years of it, I am pretty darn good unless you have a big, bushy, mustache! ;) My family is so used to it all they they finish my sentences or know when I have no clue what was going on. I recently got 2 new digital HA's with tcoils, plus a "deaf phone" (Florida gives them free) and what a difference in my life - I also got a TV ears thingie and can now pretty much hear most of it - hooray! Ok, back to cruising - it can be a challenge at dinners or whenever you are in a crowd - even with HA's, you pretty much just hear noise - I also try to get to the dining room early and "pick my seat" - wherever there is an advantage to my hearing. But, I have no hesitation in saying "I am pretty much deaf - would you please look at me when you are talking" - I have NEVER had anyone react with anything accept kindness - as long as they know, they will do whatever it takes to help you - in fact, I have had many people say "you would never know that you are deaf" - so, please, by all means, tell everyone or have DH say it - I just go with the flow and if I miss something or can't understand, DH is more than willing to be my "ears"........and no one thinks anything about it. Have a WONDERFUL cruise and do not worry about not hearing.............you will have plenty of help if you ask for it! ;)

[golferkinda]

My folks are elderly and they cruise a lot. My parents enjoy sitting at a big table. On the first night, they tell their table mates that my mother can't see (macular degeneration) and my father can't hear (brain tumor). All 24 cruises so far, the table mates have been great and kid my folks that they will yell at dad, and get real close to mom's eyes when they want to talk to them. They have had nothing but great dining experiences. Everything will be fine.