May need to cancel -- insurance question -- just sick about it

[ILoveScotland]

Reading this thread makes me know how often people have to cancel. My DH is 84, and I'm 65. He has had a series of back surgeries, and on August 30th he fell and broke his hip. It was a clean break, and we were assured we could make our November transatlantic.

 

But he developed some unexplained pain which has finally been found to be the result of infection in the disk above his spinal surgeries. I had decided to go on the cruise alone if he would simply be in rehab recovering from the hip fracture, but now with the infection my cruise is in doubt, too.

 

As someone said, I would forever regret not staying with him if I went off for a cruise even though as the caretaker I desperately need that kind of relaxing break before he comes home.

 

Thankfully we have insurance for the cruise, but we booked our flights independently and don't have insurance. I'll still have the doctor write a letter to the airlines just in case it will help, but I'm not hopeful about that.

 

For everyone who's a caretaker and everyone facing the disappointment of not cruising: let us all remember there are other cruises but only one DH, DW, DD, DS, DGF, DGM or other loved one. It's a lesson I'm trying to learn as I approach the time to make my own final decision about the cruise next month.

[KandMGIn]

I really cannot believe that you would miss your cruise because of 3 more missed days. Seems silly to me. If your daughter is all sick and gross and feeling like junk, give her a break and do not cancel something I am very sure she is looking forward to. Life is all about the memorable moments, not school and money and jobs. Those are just the things that we do to make a living....the living we make aside from those things is what is important!

 

I hope your daughter feels better soon.

[Iamthesea]

Thank you, but I've been teaching a long time and have seen this scenario turn ugly too many times. My daughter will probably miss more school days this year than she has in the previous five years combined. If she were to become sick again later this year, the number could go higher.

Mrs. Pete - Good point about your child possibly missing school later in the year. She could run over the allotted sick days allowed. The 6th grade is a tough learning year!

 

In our district, a student is only allowed to be out 7 days per semester. We would never have taken ours out early in the school year had they already missed several days of school. I guess that's why we don't plan our cruises too far in advance. Seems that every time we do, we end up cancelling the cruise before final payment.:rolleyes: Never been in your situation, but I do feel for your child in this case. If you have to cancel, try booking another right away so that everyone will still have something to look forward to.

 

So glad the rest of the family is out of the woods with the illness. Whether it be mono, meningitis, the flu, a rash type infection such as chicken pox or scabies, they can all run rapid in families and the school. Lucky for your doctor that more didn't get ill!

[2theship]

To decide on the school issue, I think that a meeting with the teacher to discuss the situation is in order. My daughter was out with mono last year and although she did not go back to school until she had the doctor's permission, she could have used another full week at home. I'm sure she would have loved recuperating on a cruise.

 

Regarding the insurance, the summer we had to cancel an insured cruise due to my husband's health. While he appeared fine, the doctor did not want him traveling due to possible complications from a procedure. We were insured by an independent company (Access America), not the cruise line. Although I knew 10 days ahead that we would be cancelling, our TA advised us that we could wait until the very last minute (in case the doctor had a change of heart). As far as the cruise line was concerned, we were at full penalty so they didn't care. It was up to the insurance company to pick up the tab.

[sj25]

To all that thought of me thanks....I have done this with my mother inlaw and father inlaw they both had cancer and was really sick my mother inlaw last 4mths and my father inlaw lasted 6mths...I took them everywhere and more less their nurse....they would only listen to me...

I just pray I don't have to see my dad go through like my mother inlaw did...her death was very slow and painful...she just filled up with fluids and moreless drowned in her own fluids, I will never forget the death rattle sound she had it over 2 days...I was in the hopsital for 10 days with her 24 hrs a day...by her side...

And no matter what you do you will always have someone not see eye to eye...because at the time I was taking care of them ...oh her brother and sisters was so happy I was there to help her so much....but at the end she wanted me there and they took it offended and now they don't speak to me after 10 yrs...It's just doing it already 2 times...I just pray for the strength to keep going...yes, I do enjoy every day...I don't regret quiting my job to be with him...I feel fortune ...that I am able to do it.

Yes, at times I don't know if I will need that break but then another hand I don't know if I can tell my dad I am going away for a week...I am his life line ...It's just hard to get my husband to understand this....even though he saw me take care of his parents...I don't know if that is why because he saw how it almost killed me...

So all I can ask just keep me in your prayers and pray that my dad don't suffer really bad....Because yes I know so many has been effected by this also and it is just so hard to see happen....

Thanks everyone....

[iluvcruzin]

Sorry to hear about your Dad Julie. I've gone through the hospice thing twice - with each parent. Prayers being sent for your Dad and family.

[trishalee]

Julie, you are just an angel on earth for those your loving care has helped. My prayers are with you and all the others like you who have pretty much given up their own lives to care for loved ones. God bless you and keep you in the hollow of HIS hands.:)

[sj25]

MrsPete

 

So how is things looking for you to be able to go on your cruise....

How is your daughter doing...???

 

I am still tearing apart...my sister did offer to take time off and be with dad while I am gone...but still alot of soul searching to be done....

[takeatrip]

As long as the doctor says she can't travel, the insrance should pay. Just don't add in there that she is well but can't miss school. I think though, at least with the outside insurance we've bought, that if the penality period changes when you knew about the problem but hadn't contacted, then they only pay what the previous penalty would be. At 14 day out....maybe 1/2 cost but once it hits 7 days the full fare is in jeopardy. So ,you might have to make the decision now and not wait to se how it plays out.

[Iamthesea]

How is she today?

[beachchick]

Mrs. Pete - Good point about your child possibly missing school later in the year. She could run over the allotted sick days allowed. The 6th grade is a tough learning year!

 

In our district, a student is only allowed to be out 7 days per semester. We would never have taken ours out early in the school year had they already missed several days of school. I guess that's why we don't plan our cruises too far in advance. Seems that every time we do, we end up cancelling the cruise before final payment.:rolleyes: Never been in your situation, but I do feel for your child in this case. If you have to cancel, try booking another right away so that everyone will still have something to look forward to.

 

So glad the rest of the family is out of the woods with the illness. Whether it be mono, meningitis, the flu, a rash type infection such as chicken pox or scabies, they can all run rapid in families and the school. Lucky for your doctor that more didn't get ill!

 

While I agree that students need to actually be in school, I fear that this is another scenario that causes the spread of illness. My parents were both teachers, my brother is a professor, and I taught grade school for 3 years (before switching careers), so I don't take the issue lightly. The problem is that it is exactly for this reason that employees come to work sick, spread whatever it is they have, and then cause others to miss work. When you are strictly limited in days "off," you're going to go to work or school many times no matter how ill you are. What if a child has an illness that lasts 3 weeks or longer (such as mono)? Do they have to repeat the year or does the school do as they did in "the old days" where students who were literally quarantined for extended periods of time had school work delivered and picked up by a friend, teacher, or parent? I understand that it is harder to arrange for that kind of thing today, but I still question how a school can enforce a limit of 7 sick days per semester--as long as an illness is in fact documented, and it's not a case of "I'm sick of school" or the family deciding to take a vacation.

 

MrsPete: I hope your daughter is well soon and that you can all enjoy your cruise. If your daughter is a good student and if her teacher agrees, perhaps you can make arrangements for her to do her work while on the cruise. A couple of hours of "school" per day and then the rest of the time to enjoy family and the fact that she is better.

 

beachchick

[sherin65]

MrsPete: I hope your daughter is well soon and that you can all enjoy your cruise. If your daughter is a good student and if her teacher agrees, perhaps you can make arrangements for her to do her work while on the cruise. A couple of hours of "school" per day and then the rest of the time to enjoy family and the fact that she is better.

 

I agree. I would also talk to her teacher as someone earlier suggested. If she is healthy, take her on the trip. Your family deserves a break after all this worry and illness. I don't think an extra three days off school will be that big of a deal over the course of an entire year.

 

When our kids were younger, before high school, we took them out a few times for an entire week. DH's work schedule just didn't allow for breaks when the kids were out of school. Those vacation memories are much stronger than any of the day to day events of a school year. Teachers were also very cooperative.

 

Sher

[Iamthesea]

What if a child has an illness that lasts 3 weeks or longer (such as mono)? Do they have to repeat the year or does the school do as they did in "the old days" where students who were literally quarantined for extended periods of time had school work delivered and picked up by a friend, teacher, or parent? I understand that it is harder to arrange for that kind of thing today, but I still question how a school can enforce a limit of 7 sick days per semester--as long as an illness is in fact documented, and it's not a case of "I'm sick of school" or the family deciding to take a vacation.

 

beachchick

If students have an extended illness or accident, they are home schooled by a professional.

 

The 7 days is not just for illness, it includes doctors appointments, parental request/personal days (such as vacations, etc.) College visit days and extra curricular activities are exempt.

[Autumnrose]

Just curious what exactly happens if they miss more than 7 days? It has only been about 12yrs since I graduated from highschool and I know I missed many more than 7 days each year throughout jr high and highschool.

[MrsPete]

To all that thought of me thanks....I have done this with my mother inlaw and father inlaw they both had cancer and was really sick my mother inlaw last 4mths and my father inlaw lasted 6mths...I took them everywhere and more less their nurse....they would only listen to me...

I just pray I don't have to see my dad go through like my mother inlaw did...her death was very slow and painful...she just filled up with fluids and moreless drowned in her own fluids, I will never forget the death rattle sound she had it over 2 days...I was in the hopsital for 10 days with her 24 hrs a day...by her side...

It's never easy to lose a parent, and it's especially bad to lose someone who dies "inch by inch". However, there is one silver lining to that situation: You know what's coming, and you have ample time to say your goodbyes. When you lose someone in that manner, you'll never have to say, "I wish I'd told him . . ." And you'll never regret having "been there" for your family in the long run.

[MrsPete]

I really cannot believe that you would miss your cruise because of 3 more missed days. Seems silly to me. If your daughter is all sick and gross and feeling like junk, give her a break and do not cancel something I am very sure she is looking forward to. Life is all about the memorable moments, not school and money and jobs. Those are just the things that we do to make a living....the living we make aside from those things is what is important!

 

I hope your daughter feels better soon.

Wonderful. I ask about insurance, and my parenting decisions are "silly". Whether or not three days (on top of what she's already missed) is too much is my call. It's not being tried in the court of public opinion.

 

Fortunately, she seems to be getting better more quickly than expected, and she's going back to school TOMORROW! It looks like she'll miss fewer days than the doctor predicted, so we're tenatively figuring we'll be okay to go.

[luv2cruz64]

Happy to hear that your daughter is doing better. Nothing like a warm, sunny cruise to help w/recuperation. We all know that when we post on this board we are opening ourselves up to the court of public opinion. Not to say that some posters should make snap judgements @ our parenting skills ect.. because they don't know us personally but that's part of the glory of being able to hide behind our computers:rolleyes: .

[Iamthesea]

Just curious what exactly happens if they miss more than 7 days? It has only been about 12yrs since I graduated from highschool and I know I missed many more than 7 days each year throughout jr high and highschool.

It's 14 per year and if you miss more, you have to go before a review board. The rule is really in place to keep attendance up.

 

That's great news MrsPete! :)

[beachchick]

MrsPete: Great news about your daughters quick recovery. I'll bet she's relieved too. (BTW, I hope you didn't think I was questioning your parental judgments. My thoughts were merely one possible suggestion. I always think parents should do what they believe is right for their child. I applaud you for putting school before fun.)

 

beachchick

[Sheffie]

Mrs. Pete, Glad to hear things are going well! I hope things went well at school today, and she has a good rest this weekend.

 

Hooray!

[sea-cruise]

Dear Julie, Sorry about your Dad. I was a postal employee and quit to care for sick parents, brain stem stroke, tube feedings, cancer, heart bypass, etc. I cared for them a total of 16 years in my home, before they passed away. I got to the point where I didn't care if I lived or died because I was very worn out. My DH & kids saw me age mentally. I do know how you feel. Once it is over, you will again be able to take deep breaths and enjoy things (as you already well know, after caring for your inlaws). God bless you & your Dad as well. My reason for writing is that I did cancel a cruise because of Mom and I was reimbursed.

[KandMGIn]

Wonderful. I ask about insurance, and my parenting decisions are "silly". Whether or not three days (on top of what she's already missed) is too much is my call. It's not being tried in the court of public opinion.

 

Fortunately, she seems to be getting better more quickly than expected, and she's going back to school TOMORROW! It looks like she'll miss fewer days than the doctor predicted, so we're tenatively figuring we'll be okay to go.

 

This is in fact a forum of public opinion. Many posters urged you to reconsider. Why you would pull mine from all those, I don't get. No one was "trying" your opinion. If you posted with your mind made up on the fact then you posted for sympathy. (I am not saying that is bad). Many people felt very sympathetic that your DH would miss her cruise and tried to change your mind based on this. I don't think you can expect anything more from a discussion forum.

 

Glad to hear things are looking up for your DH and her cruise. Good luck and have a good time.

[MGoBlue2]

Wonderful. I ask about insurance, and my parenting decisions are "silly". Whether or not three days (on top of what she's already missed) is too much is my call. It's not being tried in the court of public opinion.

 

Fortunately, she seems to be getting better more quickly than expected, and she's going back to school TOMORROW! It looks like she'll miss fewer days than the doctor predicted, so we're tenatively figuring we'll be okay to go.

Glad to hear she's doing well. The problem you have with insurance is that in fact, if she's healthly enough to travel, it's not that you "need to cancel" but that you are choosing to. Insurers are not likely to pay off on a choice to cancel (even if in your daughter's best interests) without a fight, especially if the choice is for academics and not health.

[Happy ks]

MrsPete, I'm glad to read that your daughter is feeling better!

 

I'm with you on this, I don't think it's a great idea to miss school for vacation and 3 days is a lot to miss. I might consider it if the teachers would provide the advance assignments. Sometimes they will, but I also think they take into consideration the childs overall grades, work habits and attendance. It's hard even for the best students to catch up, an average student or one who has difficulties can and will falter from excessive absence. I'm not believing some of the responses, where people think there is little importance to elementary education.

 

Anyway, I do hope your daughter is well, catches up to her class and you can enjoy your long anticipated cruise vacation :)

[sj25]

Glad to hear she's doing well. The problem you have with insurance is that in fact, if she's healthly enough to travel, it's not that you "need to cancel" but that you are choosing to. Insurers are not likely to pay off on a choice to cancel (even if in your daughter's best interests) without a fight, especially if the choice is for academics and not health.

 

Your most likely right because I am being told that my dad's health when he found out that he had cancer and was life threating that I had to cancile with in 72 hrs what ever that would make me cancile for it to be paid...