Nude Showers Poolside and Other Horrible Stories Here!!

[PhoenixCruiser]

My husband then said "Oh, like Janet Jackson?!" and my son responded "No, it was the other one!"

 

LMBO :D :D

 

Thanks!

 

###

[Dockside Doc]

It isn't a proper game of Quest unless someone ends up in their underwear. On our Sovereign voyage, one girl ended up topless. IMO, SOS certainly has the best Quest games. Beat the heck out of Mariner. Amazing how far people will go to win........at anything. :)

 

Doc

[CruisingCatherine]

Luv it!! This thread is too funny!!

[mariapd719]

On Golden Princess after Princess Cays and some sun and drinking we headed back to the ship and me and my then bf claimed our lounge chairs and went to get a quick slice at the pool pizza spot. Then I went back to move my chair one row up because we met up with a group of friends and wanted to sit with them. SO here I am pulling and pulling and pulling this chair that would not move like a savage and I just couldnt figure out why.....that is till I looked at the lady on the lounger to the left and her angry face. Her wooden leg was lodged between her lounger and the slats of mine. Well I realize it and my face turned completely red, I gently smiled at her and said Ill be right back. I went over to my friends only one row away and up a little and tried to explain why I didnt have my chair. My friends atleast went back and got my towel, shoes and bag cuz I was too mortified to go back after that.

[Travelitis]

ROFL!!!!

 

We were on HAL's Zuiderdam last Sept. docked right beside one of the Voyager class RCCL ships at St. Maarten. My dh and I had an aft balcony that wrapped around the corner (yes, that's pertinent to visualize this), and we were sitting out there talking. My back was facing the other ship, and I was looking at my dh who froze mid-sentence, mouth hanging open, Coke in hand halfway up to his mouth. I was debating whether to say something sarcastic or not and had started to get worried something was wrong with him, when he finally moved and started grappling for words. It seems an old, fat man had walked out onto his balcony, removed his trunks and hung them to dry then walked back to the door where his wife stood stark naked. I later took video of them clothed as a little memento for my dh.

[Denham33]

On our 1st cruise, there were several strippers (male & female) on vacation. Obviously is was not an ugly sight when they were up on deck in their thongs! What was funny was watching all the men on the upper pool deck with their camcorders - supposedly taking memory photos of the ship, but zooming in on the girls! I bet their wives had a few comments when they got home and looked at their vacation video!

[cmason]

Wife' then grabs me by my tallywacker & drags me to the other side.

Now that would have been a sight to see as well Foxtrot!

[unkfrank]

mammallama: on the advice of counsel, I take the fifth.. no... I plead for a fifth... no, wait, I drank the fifth. Yeah... dat's it...

 

That's my story and I'm sitcking to it...

 

Frank

[Rick R]

When we went to Alaska a few years ago there were three bus loads of Philippians on the ship. I know it was three bus loads because that is how took tours. They had all won an Amway contest cruise. Amway had given them all large bright blue coats with hoods, which they all took great pride in wearing all the time.

We called them the blue coats. Every picture, we took, in every port has one or two blue coats in it. Here’s proof

Blue coats

[Shebbieal]

We were on the Disney Magic this past June and going to dinner, we were docked at Cozumel, there was A Carnival ship beside us, my granddaughter (age 5) said "there is a butt over there". Sure enough we were mooned! I guess it is called the fun ship for a reason!!

 

We got a lot of giggles remembering that one.

 

Sherry

[thefish]

Well gosh durn aint it that there poster about that tallywhacker on this here electrononical board that done got me bamboozled. Many a time I’ve sat on the fence by the gate down at the feedlot and whacked my tallywhacker. I’d have my tallywhacker in my hand and each time we’d move cattle into or out of the holding pen I’d whack my tallywhacker on the gatepost. Each time a head would go by I’d whack it and Jeb Junior, the bosses son, would make a mark in his big cheiftan and then we’d know how many head of cattle we got You could use a rock, or a brandin iron or mostly just a stick for a tallywhack, anything to make a goodnuff noise.

 

So what in the Devil’s blazes is this here guy taking his own tallywhacker on one of them there cruise boats? What are he gonna whack it on? I don’t blame his here wife for a grabbin it. If I’d a took one I guess my wife would been a grabbin at it too.

 

What are he gonna do with it? They don’t need it on them cruising boats cause all the cows they take on board are a frozen and they ain’t gonna jump past the counting guy before they’s counted unless some un-godly mirickul has happened. They’s can tell anyways how many they’s got by the moans they get when they serve that there Ranch Steak.

 

Most of them people that get on board has a better grasp of the language than a cow does so they’s can give their names as they gets on the ship and don’t need to be tallywhacked. The best at an answer a cow can come up with is a Moo and after a time or two of askin there names you can figger out that not all them cow’s are named Moo.

 

So iffun ya’ll are gonna go on one them there cruises I would recommend that you cowboys leave yourn tallywhackers at home where they belong or yourn wife mite be a grabbin it too!

[Catnip]

Huh???????

[thefish]

Catnip

 

I got kind of carried away vainly trying to be humorous but don't you wonder about the meanings and origins of some of the words and phrases that people use. Phrases and words like, out in the boondocks, square meal, son of a gun, shooting the bird, and tallywhacker and others have origins and meanings that might be suprising to some. As most country boys know a tallywhacker is a stick (or some other object) that is used to count a large amount of cattle as they pass. One person hits a post or fence with the stick while another person marks it down on paper as he hears the sound. This way the person marking it down does not have to look up and down, loosing count. Of course tallywhacker has taken on other meanings also.

 

thanks -

[burnsie]

Doc, you could have been on our cruise! When I siad underwear I was refering to the bottom half the girls were in full glory and it was the first time I ever saw so many flashbulbs at the Quest game. It was truely a cruise I will never forget!

[Catnip]

dafish,

Thanks for clearing that up! :rolleyes: But, thanks to you, I learned something new today--I did not know that a "talleywhacker" was a cattle-counting object. Of course, I knew the "other meaning" ;)

I live kinda "out in the boondocks", so I am familiar with that as well as square meal and son of a gun.

And I know HOW to "shoot a bird", (not the kind with feathers). :eek: But I assume that has a "real" meaning?!

[thefish]

Are you sure about the meanings Catnip?

 

Out in the boondocks traces back to a 1920's archiological discovery in Indo- China on a mountain that when pronounced sounds like boondock.

 

Square meal traces back the old british navy sailing ships that served meals on a square board that was used as a dish.

 

Son of a gun refers to a time when doctors used loud noises, such as a gun shot, to induce labor.

 

Shooting the bird meant shooting an arrow and became associated with what is now considered an obscene gesture during the 100 years war. British prisoners had their middle fingers cut off by the French so that they could no longer use the British longbow which required three fingers instead of the usual two to pull the string back. The British forces would wave their middle finger at the French forces to show them they still had their middle fingers.

 

It was said that Winston Churchill was going to use his middle finger as a show of defiance to the Germans untill he was told about the new obscene meaning of this gesture. Instead he raised one more finger and out of it came the "V" for victory.

[Dockside Doc]

I thought Churchill's V for victory was because that's where he held his cigar......... :)

 

Doc

[Dockside Doc]

Doc, you could have been on our cruise! When I siad underwear I was refering to the bottom half the girls were in full glory and it was the first time I ever saw so many flashbulbs at the Quest game. It was truely a cruise I will never forget!

 

It was the cruise of 16 Feb 03 to be exact. I don't remember any full glory though, or I definitely would have been saluting.

 

Best we got on Mariner was one guy in tightie whities. And no flashbulbs went off. :)

 

Doc

[dhughes]

While on our honeymoon 8 years ago as we were leaving Labadee. I left my cabin to go to the pursers desk. The door to the cabin a few cabins down from us was open and as I walked by I noticed a woman...naked squatting on her bunk looking out the port hole. i didn't say a word, not knowing what to say and went on my way to the pursers desk. On my way back (10 minutes later) to our cabin... the door was still open as I walked by, there was a couple walking behind me and they both started to laugh when they saw the big white moon. ALL I heard next was OH S***!!! and a door slam. Could never figure out who it was.. but then again I only saw her from behind.

[Catnip]

dhughes,

How cow!! That is hysterical!! :eek: I am LMAO!!! Good one!

 

 

dafish,

You are one informed dude! I always like learning new things. Thanks! And I especially like the one about "shooting the bird". How funny!

I bet you do well at the trivia games! I want you on my team! ;)

[SWACK]

Actually, the square meal does refer to Brittish ships, but it was actually oilcloth that the entire meal was laid out on, like a picnic cloth. They did not have wood below quarters, because a cannon ball hitting it would turn into deadly splinters...

[burnsie]

Doc we were on the SOS in Oct of that year. On the same cruise there was a group of mentally challenged adults and one man was following a woman from our group around (not our naked Quest player). He was so cute. Every time you turned around there he was dancing near her and taking her picture. He grabs my Mom one night and starts telling her how beautiful she was and you know what he liked best about her? "She smells so clean...." to this day we tease her telling her she smells clean.

[Vicar]

Before GF and I started going together , her and her friend weere vacationing in Florid at this hotel. The two girls were laying by the pool when this older man (about 60) sat on a longe chair next to them (They were in their early 20s at the time.

 

He seemed nice enough and was making small talk and they were chatting with him a bit. Soon the conversation got a little weird. He wanted to know if they were strippers, He wanted to know if one or BOTH of them wanted to go back to their room with him to have a drink, that whole thing.

 

Gf and her friend got a little freaked out by this and just got up and left.

 

Next day they are walking through the lobby of the hotel by the conference rooms and in one of them was some type of lecture going on. They stopped in the door way and lo and behold the guy from the pool was at the podium making a speech.

 

Turns out this was some Marriage Enrichment Seminar and this guy was extrolling the virtues of marriage , He and his wife (she was there with him) were married 40 years and he started reading off the 12 steps to a happy fulfilling marriage. *LOL*

 

GF and her friend were hysterical :)

[thefish]

Swack

 

Thanks for the info but reaserching a square meal on the internet I found most sources said it originated with a square wooden plate. One source said it was also called a fiddle. I think they were square because of storage and the ease to make and were wood because of the low cost. I think they were even featured in the recent movie Master and Commander. Of course the officers ate off of china plates and silverware. If I misread the sources that I have seen then I am sorry.

 

Thanks for the info

[skybuffalo]

We were on the NB Alaska run of the Coral Princess. I got into the elevator with a gentleman who must have had problems with dinner. He let loose with such a foul gas that it was absolutely nauseating. I tried to avert my tearing eyes and luckily he got out at the next floor. Unfortunately several Indian ladies entered and you could tell that they thought it was me. Plugging their noises, and giggling, and talking in their native language, they jumped out as the door was closing. There was no way I was staying in that elevator longer then needed. I got out at the next floor and walked up the stairs.