How do I convince him?

[glrounds]

What are my best arguments for convincing him this is a good idea? What I think it REALLY comes down to is that he doesn't want to feel left out. He loves when we spend time together, and I just think he doesn't want me off having fun while he's stuck at home alone working. :(

 

Any advice?

 

Tell him, if he won't let you go with your FAMILY, you'll book a cruise ALONE, have an affair with an Italian officer, hopefully the Captain, and smile "knowingly" every time you see a boat, an ocean, or a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. :D

 

Just kidding. Sorry, I can't be of any constructive help. :)

[queenanneitis]

I don't know how well you and your husband communicate but how about just sitting down and talking to him about it. You could tell him your thoughts about him doing the things he loves and that this is something you really want to do. I agree that it sort of sounds like he's a little jealous or feeling left out. Right now it sort of sounds like a double standard, "he can do what he wants but he doesn't want you to" type of thing.

 

Lots of people take "girls" trips so if it's really something you want to do then he shouldn't have a problem with it.

[jerseygirl3]

My parents have been married for 50 years and have never taken a major vacation away from each other. I've been married for only 14 years and haven't and probably wouldn't either. But OP may have a different frame of reference than you or me. My wife would be livid if I even took a long weekend cruise with friends that didn't include her. I don't think anyone needs any marriage counseling. This is just a decision that both spouses should make together.

 

But that's fine because you both seem to agree on your arrangement of not taking vacations apart from each other. The difference between your situation and the OP is that they disagree on the subject. That's what can create problems.

 

I love my husband dearly and we have a wonderful marriage. However, I have done a couple of cruises with my mom and sister and have an "all girls" cruise booked for next month. I'm not going to say my husband is happy I'm going without him (he loves to cruise as much as I do), but he has never tried to talk me out of going. He knows how much I enjoy spending time with my friends and that's okay with him. I love my vacations with him more, but girlfriend time is important as well. So is spending time with my Mom and sister.

 

Without getting into a lot of psycho babble, I think the deeper issue is whether the OP's husband has trust issues. They may be unwarranted, but present nonetheless. I think that's the bigger issue.

[Rockee4055]

I would like to book a cruise for myself (27), my sister (24), my mom (49), and my grandma (73) as a girl's trip. We are all at a great place in life right now, and I think it would be a good time to do this. However, when I brought it up to my husband, he comes up with all sorts of excuses as to why this is a bad idea. Money, time, work, are the first to come to mind. Funny how when he wants to do something (*clears throat* restore vintage motorcycles), that money is never really an issue. :mad: Mainly b/c I don't make it one b/c I know it's something that he really loves. But anyways, tangent.

 

What are my best arguments for convincing him this is a good idea? What I think it REALLY comes down to is that he doesn't want to feel left out. He loves when we spend time together, and I just think he doesn't want me off having fun while he's stuck at home alone working. :(

 

Any advice?

 

Yeah, hire him some super models to come in while your away riding on a harley.

 

I convince my parents all the time by saying "time is short and you guys are getting older. I want to spend as much quality time as i can with you". It works everytime...

 

Or....promise him once you go check it all out you guys can go alone and enjoy a cruise.

[forensic]

I would like to book a cruise for myself (27), my sister (24), my mom (49), and my grandma (73) as a girl's trip. We are all at a great place in life right now, and I think it would be a good time to do this. However, when I brought it up to my husband, he comes up with all sorts of excuses as to why this is a bad idea. Money, time, work, are the first to come to mind. Funny how when he wants to do something (*clears throat* restore vintage motorcycles), that money is never really an issue. :mad: Mainly b/c I don't make it one b/c I know it's something that he really loves. But anyways, tangent.

 

What are my best arguments for convincing him this is a good idea? What I think it REALLY comes down to is that he doesn't want to feel left out. He loves when we spend time together, and I just think he doesn't want me off having fun while he's stuck at home alone working. :(

 

Any advice?

 

 

I have some advice! YOU are 27 years old - why do you need permission like a child? You should explain to him that this is very important to you and that you have the money in the budget to go, you would feel much better if he could support you in your decision, like you support him in his decisions about his motorcycle (whatever). You hope that he will think about your feelings, and how important this is to you and be supportive of "you" and your decision to spend this time with your family. Perhaps the two of you could sit down and plan a cruise or a vacation that the two of you could go on together after this 'girl' trip.

 

About 10 years ago my daughter (only child) was living in Sicily, as her husband was stationed there with Navy and she had just found out she was pregnant for the first time. My Mom suggested that she and I go to visit. My Mother and I had never gone on a trip together, just us. We flew to Rome and on to Sicily and spent 3 weeks there with my daughter. He husband was away on assignment. We 3 'girls' had the greatest time! I will remember it as long as I live. My Mom is 90 now and really starting to fail, but I will always remember the great things we did and saw and all of the fun the 3 of us had. My daughter's doctor knew we were there visiting and even through she was only about 2 months pregnant he invited us into the exam room and let us hear my first grandchild's heart beat! It turned out to be a girl that she named after my Mother and I both!

Please GO, you will have memories that will last you a life time!:D :D

[Megnolia]

Wow, there are definitely some interesting opinions on these boards! I would say it's definitely a personal thing - some couples enjoy cruising separately, others don't.

 

I would be CRUSHED if my hubby told me that he was going on a cruise with some guys (or another "major" trip). Now if he wanted to go hunting or fishing for a week... no problem! But cruising is something special that we love to do together, and I wouldn't dream of leaving him out.

 

I'm leaving for two weeks of camping without him in a few days, and while he's not thrilled, he understands and accepts my decision. But camp isn't such a big expense - our "travel" budget is something we save for together, and if I went on a cruise without him, it would mean that we couldn't travel together for that much longer. Not fair to him, IMO.

 

I'd try to get him to share with you why he isn;'t happy about the idea, rather than trying to convince him. It's possible his feelings are really hurt.

 

I hope you manage to reach a compromise!