Our Misadventures on the Galaxy from Pope and Goats to Columbus and the Fat Virgin

[Happy Cruiser 6143]

Hysterical! I laughed until I cried. Thanks for sharing! I think cruising with you would be a treat.

[tipster42]

Thanks for a truly funny and informative review. I read these things all the time and usually, with anything this long, I move on before the end. Call it short attention span, or just too much detail.

 

Your narrative style and sense of humor though, drew me along to the very end.

 

Thanks again for a good laugh.

[Bargeo]

Unfortunately, the Galaxy uses the clingy curtains. But, I loved your line "had an affair with my shower curtain". Can I use that line sometime?:D

 

Of course you can......I'd be honored. Your reviews are so funny and entertaining, you should definitely write a book about cruising.

 

My DH has been on the receiving end of the "LOOK" for many years. LOL

 

We will be in Tortola next month, and can't wait to see the "parade". Hope all the virgins are well.

[Coolcruise02]

Great Review! Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh today. :)

[SailorJack]

Can you come with us May 15' date=' 2009? If not, perhaps there's a brother or other relative that could fill in for you.[/quote']

 

Thanks for the invite:D Actually we are looking at a cruise in the April/May timeframe, but it will probably be another TA.

[Traveling Fools]

Sailor Jack,

 

Thank you for your informative, refreshing, and enlightening review.

 

One of the more modern highlights of the tour was a visit to a museum that was displaying one of the many Popemobiles that currently exist. (Note to non-Catholics: The Vatican has asked that the public stop referring to it as the “Popemobile” as that title is lacking in due deference and respect).

 

Papal Porsche has a nice ring to it.

 

But, all the while, I’m thinking – If the POPE is this worried about meeting his maker, what chance are SailorJill and I going to have! I leave the museum a more sober (metaphorically speaking) sailor and wonder if maybe there is a religion that provides a more guaranteed way to the land of milk and honey.

 

The Pope died and was greeted at the pearly gates by St. Peter. St. Pete gave the old Padre a tour of the heavenly enclave leaving the Pope very impressed with all the palatial digs. Because many of which bested the Vatican, images of what was in line for him filtered thru the Pope’s mind.

 

St. Peter’s tour ended in front of a dilapidated, one room shanty nestled next to one of the grandest mansions in the neighborhood. Thinking the shanty was a tool shed belonging to the mansion and anticipating the mansion was to be his new home, the Pope thanked St. Pete for the tour and walked thru the gates of his new crib. St. Peter stopped the Pope, apologized for any confusion he might have caused, pointed at the run down hovel, and told the Pope that, rather than the grand palace, the shanty was his new home.

 

The Pope, being a little more than stunned, asked St. Pete who lived the in the magnificent mansion. St. Peter’s answer was, “A lawyer”. Considering the was after all the Holy Father, the Pope said to St. Pete, “With all due respect, I would have thought as the Pope, I would have been assigned a house matching my stature.” St. Pete replied, “You would think so, however keep in mind we have lots of Popes up here, but only one lawyer.”

 

While there are no canaries on Lanzarote, our guide, Sylvester, assures us that there are, indeed, canaries on Tenerife and La Palma – our next ports of call.

 

You mean Sylvester ate Tweety?!?

 

We looked at each other and spontaneously started chanting, “Toga, Toga”. Wait a minute – that was later in the afternoon in Bernie’s suite after we polished off the last few bottles of the Spanish wine.

 

Sounds like just another weekend at Bernie’s.

 

Despite the fact that we are apparently taking on water, we have arrived at our island destination. I think history has been less than forthcoming as to why Christopher Columbus named this island Fat Virgin (Virgin Gorda), but I suspect it was more than tobacco leaves that lured ol’ Chris to repeatedly return to the Caribbean.

Once ashore, we have the option of either attending the Festival of Guadalupe Hildago or visiting the famous “Baths of Virgin Gorda”. We elect to visit the Baths when we learn that the highlight of the Festival – the Parade of the Virgins - has been cancelled as one was ill and the other refused to parade alone.

 

You know the same thing happened last year at BYU.

[SailorJack]

YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!! Just as funny as your NCL episode. Thanks for the many laughs and glad you enjoyed the island that we call our second home (at least until we get our house here sold. Want to buy a house on Tenerife??);) Why didn't you call -- we would have come down to Santa Cruz to personally enjoy your storytelling?

 

I would have called, but lost your number:D I am sure you have your reasons, but it is hard to believe that someone who owns a home on the island would voluntarily leave.:(

[SailorJack]

Jack, I have sailed GALAXY before (back in March of this year)

and it was fabulous:)...glad to read you and Jill enjoyed

yourselves.

I have never minded the lack of a dinner buffet on the Celebrity

ships. I love eating in the main dining room:D

 

Did you happen to have drinks in the Forward Martini

Bar, located inside the Stratosphere Lounge? Just curious

if Victoria was still bartending there?

 

Except for the one meeting, I never made it back to the Martini Bar, so I can't attest as to whether or not Victoria is still there...sorry:(

[Lois R]

Hi Jack, no need for the sad face:(

Its not a problem:D.....I will be sailing in 2.5 weeks and whoever

is bartending will be AOK:D;):)

[cvat]

 

 

It was then that I noticed the three security officers posted next to the pool bar on Deck 12. I immediately feared the worst – they were about to announce the ship was out of beer! Two more security officers then came out on Deck 11 and stopped somewhere behind my lounge. The last time I saw this many security officers in one place was on our tour of movie star homes in Hollywood. On that occasion there were six buff looking guys garbed head to toe in black (and led by two guys named Ranger and Tank) guarding Elizabeth Taylor’s food pantry.

 

 

Then, as the officers on Deck 12 moved closer to the railing I realized that they weren’t guarding the bar – they were now positioned to watch the two girls in the white bikinis. My God! I turned to SailorJill and asked her if she thought the poor girls could be in some kind of danger! Glancing up from her book, SailorJill said, “The only danger they’re in is from getting splashed when you drop your beer”.

 

This was very interessting to read thank you very much for posting this, along with your review!

[spearmint]

Maybe the 2nd O should have been an M??

Rolling on the floor laughing My a** Off:D

The 2nd O would normally be an M.

 

Oh,my. :D I am sure you are correct, Lois. Thanks. Bill

[Longboysfan]

You got my vote for poster of the year.

 

Is that like the Academy awards???

 

But don't try to sell it. It must be returned to Cruise Critic when they find a better post.

[Pat.bz]

We were on the cruise with you and really enjoyed your review one question : did you improve your Spanish with all our Puerto Rican shipmates? It really was a fun and lively cruise.

[our turn]

Thanks so much for posting your hilarious review. You are a gifted writer with a terrific sense of humor.

[cvat]

Then, as the officers on Deck 12 moved closer to the railing I realized that they weren’t guarding the bar – they were now positioned to watch the two girls in the white bikinis.

 

 

If I were a boy I could understand,....

 

The ones on Century one year ago have been very gentleman like.

 

 

 

 

Happy Holidays to all.

And those who are on a cruise happy sailing!

To the personnel as well!

[cvat]

It would be nice if the company allowes them to celebrate the holidays, as well.

[SailorJack]

What a treat! I've read both your Dream and Jewel reviews (steered to them with the quote "funniest reviews on the boards") and was so thrilled to see one on the Celebrity boards. Even a Ranger and Tank reference - it couldn't have been any funnier if Lula herself had served you your large free rum punches.

 

Thanks so much for making my afternoon!

 

Cathy

 

Anoather Janet Fan! If I could have worked Grandma in I would have:D However, if Lula was behind the bar I don't think there would have been enough to go around:D

[Kathie44]

OMG! I sometimes still giggle remembering the Dream review and now this. Missed the Jewel review--where is it? We sailed Jewel in June of '06.

Tank and Ranger! How cool! I'll have to look for them next month on Galaxy with DH's sister. Janet's books always have me rolling, too.

I needed a good laugh today. This is my first Christmas without DH, who passed away unexpectedly last Aug. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe and had to make a quick trip to the bathroom, lol.

Soo glad I didn't have to cancel the Jan. 19th cruise booked last Jan. On our Mercury Aust/NZ cruise. My SIL has never cruised before and I'm looking forward to being her mentor.

Keep the reviews coming, Jack,-- we love them. :D

[7leagueboots]

Jack, are you going to post pictures of the goats? And when do you sail again? We were on the same Galaxy sailing, but couldn't get to Morocco. Like many of the other passengers, we were greatly disappointed.

[SailorJack]

Jack, are you going to post pictures of the goats? And when do you sail again? We were on the same Galaxy sailing, but couldn't get to Morocco. Like many of the other passengers, we were greatly disappointed.

 

I am probably the last person to trade in their film camera for a digital one. All the photos I took are on film..so I can't post them. I am told there is a way to transfer film to digital, so I may have to look into that.

 

While we have not finalized our next cruise it will probably be a TA this spring.

 

I agree about the Morocco stops. I am nervous about booking another cruise that says it is going to stop in Morocco because so many cruises wind up cancelling the port. The only sure fire way to see it is to fly there or do what we did..take a boat from a nearby port.

[wrp96]

Sailorjack, many places like Target and Walgreens will create a digital CD from your film negatives for you. When you go to get your film developed, you may want to see if that is an option.

[SailorJack]

Sailorjack, many places like Target and Walgreens will create a digital CD from your film negatives for you. When you go to get your film developed, you may want to see if that is an option.

 

Many thanks for the tip. I went to Walgreens yesterday and they did just what you said they could do:D Now I need to get a second job to pay for all the negatives I have that need to be digitized:eek:

[TomDills]

Jack -

 

Here's a company that offers bulk scanning of negatives. I've not used them yet but am planning to:

 

http://www.scancafe.com/

[SailorJack]

Jack -

 

Here's a company that offers bulk scanning of negatives. I've not used them yet but am planning to:

 

http://www.scancafe.com/

 

Tom, thanks for the tip. They do both negatives and slides - which I have a lot of also.

 

I appreciate the help..thanks again.

[Shelli]

Very enjoyable read. You want to be Dave Barry in your next life, don't you? :)