QM2 2 days in QG trip report (June 2014)

The following trip report details a two day voyage on the wonderful Queen Mary 2, sailing from Hamburg to Southampton in late June 2014. It's long, so you might want to read it in sittings (if you can be bothered at all :))

Background to the voyage

A short voyage on board the greatest ocean liner at sea was not originally on my travel agenda for a three week European holiday. One of the many things on my travel wish-list (sorry, but I simply cannot bring myself to use 'bucket-list' outside a parenthetical) is to travel to Venice on board the Orient Express. In mid 2013 I booked a VSOE journey from London to Venice, with a short stay in the canal city, before sailing the Eastern Mediterranean on board the Queen Elizabeth. Unfortunately, my dreams of following in the footsteps of the great Hercule Poirot were dashed when, in October of that year, my travel agent advised that the London to Paris leg of the train journey had been cancelled due to "operational reasons" - which I later discovered was code for 'someone really rich bought out the entire train for the day'. Naturally I was gutted. However, I wasn't going to let that ruin what otherwise was looking like an amazing trip.

I was left with the option of spending extra nights in either London or Venice, with a short European flight to make the hop from England to Italy. At some point during me mulling over my options (this occurring over a near 5 month period as I struggled to make a decision), one evening of play searching on the Cunard website I came across a 2 night June 22-24 Hamburg to Southampton crossing on my favourite ship. It was a stroke of luck: the voyage fit perfectly into my broader holiday plans. I couldn't believe I hadn't found it sooner! With future intent on booking a Transatlantic crossing in Grills, I decided to book an entry level Queens Grill suite (Q6). It was the same price as what I would have paid for an additional two nights' stay in London or Venice, so I didn't hesitate in calling my travel agent. However, being close to sailing there were only guarantee bookings available. I would have to wait and see what I was given.

I am the kind of person who likes to plan things to some detail, even though it takes a long time to do so (and not without considerable revision of plans along the way). Spontaneity is not exactly my strong suit, although I have been known to occasionally exit my bed from the right side in the morning. While many Cruise Critic threads led me to believe I would have to wait until days before sailing to get my suite allocation, approximately a month from sailing I saw on Voyage Personaliser that I had been given a Q5 on Deck 11 aft. I was very happy with this and proceeded to print off my luggage tags and laminate them. I did the same for my QE cruise, although I was travelling Britannia for the two weeks between Venice and Athens.

With about a fortnight before sailing, I was checking my Voyage Personaliser bookings for both the QM2 and QE (one thing I would encourage Cunard to do is allow passengers booked on multiple voyages to access all bookings through a central page) and happened to notice the '11' at the front of my suite assignment had disappeared to be replaced by a '9'. My initial thought was that I had been downgraded, but I quickly acknowledged that this doesn't happen and that clearly I'd been given a Q5 somewhere on Deck 9. Part of me wondered whether I'd been upgraded to a Q4 - but that was impossible, right?

On checking the the suite assignment carefully, I noticed that a name was attached to the suite's number. My heart jumped wildly as I realised I had been upgraded. Having studied the deck plans of the QM2 many times, I became excited as it dawned on me that I had been allocated the Balmoral Duplex - a Q1 grand duplex. Needless to say, I spent the following 5 minutes jumping up and down as though I had won millions in the lottery. I figure it is an apt analogy as winning the top prize is statistically unlikely, although - as my mother always says about the lotto - someone has to win it. Naturally I called all and any to spread my good news, not caring that most had little interest in my boon, or had little idea what I was carrying on about. I did place a call to Cunard to confirm that there wasn't a mistake on Voyage Personaliser. While I was pleased to learn that I had indeed been upgraded to suite 9078, I was slightly concerned that the rep on the end of the phone said that I could still be upgraded again and to hold off on re-printing luggage tags. When I explained that you couldn't go any higher than a Q1 she checked her information before apologising and confirming that I was correct. Shoreside at its finest.

Arriving in Hamburg and boarding

It was an early start on June 22 as I left the hotel just after 4am. I had spent a pleasant evening in an upgraded suite overlooking Piccadilly and was chauffeured to Heathrow in the hotel's Jaguar. It was the nicest vehicle I'd ever been inside, and like the hotel suite, a step up from the regular E class sedan I had ordered through Concierge. Used to having arrive at airports long before boarding, I found myself waiting half an hour before the check-in desk opened for my 7am flight. After a short British Airways hop to Hamburg I was on my way in a taxi. Hoping to board by 11.30am I decided not to stop in Hamburg itself and instead go straight to the terminal at HafenCity. The taxi was easy to get outside the airport and cost 25 Euros. Unfortunately, boarding wasn't scheduled until midday, but I was able to sit in a little cafe area reserved for passengers. So I ordered a drink and piece of cake while I browsed the internet on my iPad. As the area filled up closer to boarding time, I chatted with several fellow passengers who were joining the QM2 for the first time. I happily told them how to get around and reassured them that rough seas were no match for the ship (not that these were to be expected between Germany and England).

Being in Germany, I had high hopes for the efficiency of boarding QM2. How wrong I was when, at quarter to midday, an uncoordinated mass of people hovered outside makeshift gates to a long line of check-in counters. At some point I joined the line, which had snaked out one of the doors to the terminal. I unsuccessfully attempted to ascertain from a Cunard employee whether there was a dedicated Grills line (she informed me that she thought there was a 'grill' on board), and so I continued to queue with an ever increasing number of passengers. Soon after I noticed a second line forming as a sudden influx of German speaking passengers arrived at the terminal. Quite a few people began to grumble about the rudeness of the people pushing in - their bad manners leading to additional lines to form as people attempted to get an advantage in the now non-existent queue.

Finally, at approximately ten past midday, the makeshift gate was opened and I quickly found myself in a special Grills check-in line. The shore staff redeemed themselves at this point as the line moved quickly and I was soon standing in front of a counter waiting for my cruise card to be printed. In addition to my card I was handed a special red card stating that I was a guest of the Balmoral suite. The check-in lady communicated with someone on the ship and informed me that my carry-on luggage would be taken on board for me, and so I waited to the side while someone was fetched. However, the redemption achieved only moments ago was sullied as the same clerk soon informed me that I had to meet a luggage porter on board, and that this person was waiting for me just after the entrance to the ship. So I quickly made my way through passport control and proceeded to climb the gangway - an Everest feat given the steep slope. Unfortunately it took me near 5 minutes to make a 1 minute walk on account of the very elderly lady and her even more elderly husband who walked slower than a sedated snail.

I was so happy to walk through the metal doorway of the ship. I was greeted by the usual line-up of uniformed bell-boys and smiling suits. My non EU passport was taken (for the duration of the next 48 hours) and I proceeded to speak to one of the hotel management crew members who seemed to be in charge. I showed my special card and was told to take the lift up and to walk aft. I asked whether I was to be escorted and to which porter I needed to give my bags. The response was surprising and very disappointing. I was told that only Q1 guests received that service - to which I responded by saying the Balmoral suite was a Q1. The crew member then replied that nobody was available and excused herself. Not wanting to waste any more time on what really was a non-issue - although I do feel that if you advertise a service it should be delivered - I made my way to the aft of Deck 9 and entered the duplex.

Words cannot describe the enormity of the Q1 grand duplex. The entrance corridor alone felt larger than the inside stateroom I occupied on Deck 6 during my 2012-13 QM2 voyage. Having previously found an excellent online video tour of the duplex, I was aware of the layout. I left my cases in the downstairs lounge before exploring both levels of a space larger than my apartment. As I walked out onto the stern-facing balcony, I was struck by the unreal sensation of having deck space that surely exceeded the size of the average inside or ocean view stateroom! The deck had a table, chairs, and two loungers - all of which were made of varnished wood. There were cushions for the deck furniture located under the duplex's staircase.

Back inside I toured the lounge and dining room, kitchenette, and the 'small' bathroom downstairs. Immediately upstairs was a small landing with a treadmill and binoculars - neither of which I bothered to use during the two day voyage. Sliding, curved doors led into a master bedroom with walk-in wardrobes to the left and right. Each walk-in had a dressing table with mirror and a ridiculous number of draws and ample hanging space for clothes. There was more shoe space than Amelda Marcus would know what to do with. Given that I packed light for only two days, I used up a paltry percentage of the wardrobe space afforded by this magnificent mansion at sea. Finally, I toured the two upstairs bathrooms. By the end of this I was glad I'd worn good walking shoes and had taken a bottle of water with me.

I decided to have lunch in the Queens Grill restaurant, remembering advice given to me by Cruise Critic posters that Grills guests could have lunch here on embarkation day. Just as I opened the door (after what felt like a 20 minute walk from upstairs) I was confronted by my butler and steward. They greeted me and introduced themselves. While the steward was the usual friendly sort encountered on ships, the butler was of the serious kind. While I know the English butler tradition of maintaining a stiff upper lip, I feared mine had applied a little too much starch to his lips and face that morning. His response to my friendly dismissal of needing an explanation of the duplex was a curt, slightly condescending "I see". I subsequently felt uncomfortable when he was around, not helped as he set my table for breakfast the following day and responded monosyllabically to my attempts to make idle chit-chat. By the end of the two days I was left with the impression that the butler service was superfluous to the already excellent (and more friendly) service offered by regular stateroom stewards.

Day 1 out and about

I had been assigned to a table of 6 towards the back of the QG restaurant. While the space is beautifully decorated and there was plenty of natural light, I did feel the location let it down. Dining with a view of track suited Germans waltzing around deck and nosy nicotine desperadoes, who often formed a second smokestack on the aft promenade, took away some of the ambiance. A number of passengers commented that they prefer the Grills restaurants on the QE and QV, which are located higher up and have unimpeded panoramic views of the ocean. Fortunately the wine and food was of a much higher quality than the scenery! I'm not much of a foodie, but I was impressed by the scope of the menu, tantalised by the tastiness of the courses, and left in awe of the presentation of each item - right down to the hand-cut mini carrots at my first lunch (and meal) on board. With the exception of breakfast on the only sea day, I ate all my main meals in the QG restaurant during the two day voyage.

Although seated at a large table, I was joined only by a couple who didn't speak a word of English! I was rather surprised when my attempts at making conversation were rebuffed with broken apologies in Deutsch. Normally, guests who speak English are seated together. However, given that half the passengers were German nationals on this short voyage, I suppose this rule wasn't necessarily able to be upheld.

I took a mid afternoon walk around the deck and snapped a few exterior photographs. After relaxing with a good book in the suite for an hour or so, I decided to see whether I could schedule a spa session before dinner. I was in luck, with a masseuse being available for a 90 minute treatment. The Canyon Ranch Spa, whilst an expensive spa, offers a range of high quality treatments. I opted for a Swedish massage, which cost around $200 with gratuities included. I always opt for a male masseuse. My reasoning for this is based on the fact that most men have more 'meat' in their hands than women. Whenever I have been massaged by female spa staff (on land and at sea) it has been an uncomfortable experience as most seem to have bony hands. I wonder if I am the only one to feel this way?

Dinner was a more lively affair as the German couple from lunch was nowhere to be seen. Instead, I enjoyed the company of a lovely UK couple who were experienced travellers. I like to consider myself well travelled, but some people have the best of luck getting to visit vast swarths of the Earth through work and for leisure. As was the case with lunch, dinner was outstanding and the service was efficient. The young sommelier was particularly knowledgable, and he helped me to select a very nice Riesling which lasted me the remainder of the two days. One thing that did surprise me was the rather frequent questions from wait staff regarding my enjoyment of the meal. Given that I polished off every morsel I would imagine that my enjoyment was obvious. I think it was the fact I was often chewing food while being asked that caused the biggest surprise, making the entire process of complimenting the chef rather difficult if I was to avoid exemplifying bad table manners!

Sailaway didn't occur until 11.30pm, some hour and a half later than outlined in the Daily Programme. Between dinner and leaving port, I chose to organise my transport from Southampton back to London. I normally use Smiths in the UK, but their premium driver was on holiday during my time there, so I went with the hotel and Cunard transport options. Cunard's executive car service was equivalently priced to Smiths, plus I didn't fancy taking the train (having done this on previous land trips and consequently being wary of carrying, and looking after, luggage on public transport). I just left the completed form I had found in my suite with the Grills Concierge on Deck 9 before wandering off to take video and photos of the sailaway crowds and entertainment. I found it rather amusing that on a slightly chilly Hamburg night that a Caribbean themed band was playing on the aft deck.

The QM2 left Hamburg just before midnight without much fanfare. Most passengers seemed to have retreated inside by the time she glided down the Elbe towards open sea. I retired for the evening after a quick shower. I had initially decided to make use of the large jacuzzi tub, but gave up after I soon realised it would take a very long time for it to fill to a height suitable for an adult. Thankfully, the pressure of the shower was superb. I also noticed that I had been given a luffa and a smart collection of toiletries I certainly had not encountered in Britannia class last time I was onboard. As I slipped into my pyjamas and then the bed, I felt somewhat guilty as the steward had arranged everything so neatly. He had even left slippers on a 'good night' towel at the side of the bed. Superfluous to be sure, but still nice to behold.

Day 2 out and about

I had requested breakfast in the suite by leaving the completed form on the outside door handle before bed. Although I am not a morning person, I figured 8am would give me plenty of time to sleep, wake up, and prepare myself for the morning banquet I had ordered. Like Hobbits, I love breakfast (second breakfasts are nice too, but not so nice for the waistline). However, as always seems to be the case with my planned mornings, I was woken by the doorbell. My goodness it is a loud doorbell! That said, I was glad for it since I'd unsurprisingly slept through my alarm. However, by the time I threw my robe on, walked down the stairs, through the living room, down the corridor, and finally opened the door…the room service staff had gone! Just as I closed the door, wondering what to do about my elusive breakfast order, every telephone rang as loudly as possible. I ran back up the entry corridor and answered the phone in the pantry. The butler was bringing the breakfast back. Soon after I was sitting at a a silver service breakfast set up, table cloth and all. While I enjoyed it, the breakfast was little different to that which one gets in Britannia class.

I spent some time post breakfast walking the decks and I browsed the Cunard stores around the lobby area. For those taking a similar journey out of Germany, it is worth noting that German VAT is added to all gift shop purchases. Due to German laws, the bookshop was sadly closed for the two days. At 11am I headed for the art deco Illuminations planetarium for a lecture by Richard Stirling on Hollywood actress Louise Rainer. Being young and generally disinterested in Tinseltown celebrity of any age, I had not heard of her. However, I found the talk really informative and enjoyable - who knew the golden age of Hollywood was so brutal? A long lunch followed, where I caught up with the UK couple from the night before. I ordered a seafood vol au vent which was one of the best meals I have ever had. When the waiter asked me if there was anything else I wanted before dessert, I was tempted to ask for another. However, I made the health conscious choice to ignore my stomach. With two more weeks remaining of my holiday, I didn't want to find myself having to buy all new clothes - especially since I had spent the previous three months shedding nearly 15 kilograms.

I'd agreed to meet a small group of Cruise Critic travellers in the Commodore Club around 2pm, including the famous peppern. Unfortunately, peppern had double booked himself and was unable to join me, and the girls who came to the little gathering, in the suite following drinks. I figured it was only fair to share the extraordinary space with others - it was by pure fortune that I had been given occupancy for the two nights. After a few balcony photos and a grand tour later, the girls left and I was contemplating afternoon tea.

By not having a second helping at lunch, and after the gruelling marathon walk from the Commodore Club to Deck 9 aft, I was clearly okay to take afternoon tea in the Grills Lounge. Besides, not taking afternoon tea on a sea day is tantamount to mutiny on a ship (I do believe passengers are periodically thrown overboard for declining). The Grills Lounge is quite small and it wasn't the most enjoyable experience due to the extreme vibrations coming from below. As I tried not to spill tea down my clothes I couldn't help thinking that perhaps Cunard was opting for a cost effective way of installing massage chairs in the room. Still, the cakes, sandwiches, and the scones were all delicious. Scones are served last unless you specifically order them. Service was on the slow side, and I did think to myself as I left that should I be in Grills again sometime I would probably just take tea in the Queens Room with the rowers. On my previous QM2 voyage I really enjoyed this space and felt the service was quicker.

Before dinner I went to the 7pm Variety Showtime performance in the Royal Court Theatre. I'm not overly fond of this space due to all the columns that block the view. If you're upstairs, the glass barriers stopping alcohol fuelled oldies from slipping over the edge will likely impede your view. Compared to more open theatres on Princess ships and the grand theatre on QE, I must say that I hope something is done to correct the design flaws in the RCT during the next major refit. The show was good, although the electric violin act doesn't do much for me, having seen one on just about every cruise or voyage I've taken - regardless of line.

I thoroughly enjoyed dinner that night. Having scanned the menu at lunch I had asked the Maitre de whether I could order off menu. His response was an accommodating 'if we have the items we can make it for you.' I just wanted something simple and asked for a schnitzel with vegetables and potato. As I sat down for dinner the waiter was already aware that I had ordered off menu and confirmed my selection. I was impressed, although not as impressed as my ability to order off menu in the Britannia Restaurant on QE a week later (stay tuned for my upcoming Mediterranean cruise report).

At the end of dinner I decided to have an early night due to the long day ahead travelling back to London and a planned shopping expedition. Having a suite of such magnitude to myself felt odd. As I laid in bed I couldn't help feel but a little spooked at the occasional noise from downstairs. It was clearly the movement of the ship, but I did feel a little isolated in there. It also probably didn't help that I deliberately left the lights on downstairs and woke up in the middle of the night only to momentarily worry about the lights being on!

Day 3 disembarkation and overall assessment

That said, I was still sad to leave such an amazing piece of cruise ship real estate the next morning. I'd watched and filmed the reverse entry into the dock area - it helped having an aft facing balcony. I had a quick breakfast in the QG Restaurant before picking up my bags to self disembark. The process was very easy. I had registered the day before with the Concierge and had been given a small white card the side of a Credit Card. When I left the ship in Southampton I simply gave it to an attendant and walked through the baggage claim area to the outside lobby at Ocean Terminal. I had to wait 15 minutes before my pre-ordered car arrived and Cunard staff - who I'd made myself known to - came and escorted me to the driver and car. It was a much better process than what I experienced in Hamburg.

Within a minute of my bags being loaded into the boot I was on my way back to Piccadilly for another night in London. The day after would see me fly to Venice for two days prior to a fortnight Mediterranean cruise on the beautiful Queen Elizabeth. While it was only two days, I thoroughly enjoyed my Q1 Balmoral Duplex experience. I know I have very little chance of scoring such a fantastic upgrade ever again, but if anyone from Cunard is reading this…feel free to upgrade me again! I promise I won't mind :) I probably wouldn't book it outright being a solo traveller, but I certainly recommend the space for couples wanting to splash out on luxury living at sea, or for passengers who struggle with the concept of 'travelling light'.

I will finish this report here, although I am sure nobody will actually get this far! If you did manage to not fall asleep, I hope you've found this recount useful and that you enjoyed the accompanying pictures. If there's anything you want to know that I haven't covered, feel free to post a question in response.

Some additional photographs taken whilst on board:

One of the two walk in wardrobe corridors:

The ridiculously huge Jacuzzi bath that takes an ocean to fill:

A view of the Balmoral Duplex from the balcony:

Seafood vol au vent from QG Restaurant lunch:

Bon appetite!

A most enjoyable read, thank you for sharing it.

Nice report and a great upgrade. Glad you enjoyed your brief stay :)

Here is an oldish video of your suite.

Thank you Austcruiser for a really enjoyable read. What an upgrade! No wonder you jumped up and down :D

That's what I call an upgrade. Really enjoyed your review.

Hi Ben. Loved your report. Read it all in one sitting.

I was in 9074 Christmas 2009, and on the trip back to NY from the Caribbean the walls creaked like crazy. Despite that, I loved being that far aft.

Jeanne

Wow, that was a great review! I was jumping up and down with you as you found out about your upgrades, filled with excitement as you planned your trip, smiled when you brought up Hercule Poirot (love him!) and throughly enjoyed you descriptions of your two days aboard QM2 in the Q1! I had just woke up and read from beginning to the end and never felt the need to drift off!;)

I can't wait for your review of your Med cruise!

Thank you so much for starting my day so beautifully!

I enjoyed your report; it was lovely to read of someone getting and enjoying a lovely upgrade.

What a superb, balanced review Austcruiser84, thank you sincerely for taking the time and trouble to post it. A very enjoyable read, wonderfully detailed. Excellent.

Yes, so very sorry I was unable to stay in the Commodore Club for more than a few minutes and only had time to say a quick "hello" and have a short chat. Still it was a pleasure to meet our little group, if only for a brief time.

Thank you again for such a great report, I'm going to read it again, now :) .

With sincere best wishes, happy sailings, and the hope that our paths will cross again one day on board a Cunard vessel.

Great review. What an exciting upgrade, I think I would have filled that bath lol

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Great review we were also on this trip, Was the Butler called Peter if so not the most charming Butler we have ever had.

Thanks for posting. At least you had a little more space than you would have experienced on the VSOE.

Thanks all for the positive feedback.

Great review we were also on this trip, Was the Butler called Peter if so not the most charming Butler we have ever had.

I think my butler's name was Jeremy, or something similar. He needed to lighten up a bit. Maybe he wasn't used to Australian humour.

Hi Ben. Loved your report. Read it all in one sitting.

 

I was in 9074 Christmas 2009, and on the trip back to NY from the Caribbean the walls creaked like crazy. Despite that, I loved being that far aft.

 

Jeanne

Hi Jeanne,

Hope you've been well? I quite like being in the aft section, especially near a stairwell and lifts. I don't notice any movement - unlike being forward.

You seem to do the Christmas Caribbean cruise a lot? I'm booking it again for 2015.

Thanks for your review.

I have been on the Orient Express once and loved it. I hope you manage to go sometime in the future. However, I think your impressive upgrade made the loss of the train trip worthwhile. (As I asked myself on the Orient Express: Why have I paid so much money for a room with no shower and a shared toilet? ;))

WOW! I think that pretty much sums it up! Thanks for posting your adventure!