Friends of Dorothy need not apply.

[nana541]

Dorothy is a reference to Judy Garland's character in The Wizard of Oz. As anyone who is not catatonic knows Judy was a great favorite of the gay community.

 

 

 

Many times on smaller ships the cruise line does not advertise either Friends of Bill or Dorothy unless one of the passengers specifically asks for those meetings. Then they are posted in the program. For the life of me I cannot understand why those meetings would disturb anyone.

 

 

Oh dear I guess I AM catatonic (clueless too) :)

 

 

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[TedC]

How About "Friends of Nana"?

[Baggywrinkle99]

They don't need to advertise FoD meetings, just head for the liveliest bar with the most laughter.

[nana541]

They don't need to advertise FoD meetings, just head for the liveliest bar with the most laughter.

 

 

Cruise critic really really needs a "Like" button :)

 

 

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[1teach53]

They don't need to advertise FoD meetings, just head for the liveliest bar with the most laughter.

 

So true!!! "Like" !! :)

[nana541]

Wripro, thank you for the education on these finer points, I honestly had no idea :)

TedC you are a gentleman!

 

 

 

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[SDARCH]

They don't need to advertise FoD meetings, just head for the liveliest bar with the most laughter.

 

Yes! This is so true.

My partner and I have been on 3 Regent cruises, with a 4th coming up in November. We have met so many awesome people over the past 5 years... And keep in touch with many of them. The pool bar is our headquarters and it is always a fun time. I love all the looks from people lounging around the pool when they hear the laughter. I know they want to join in....come on, we don't bite.

I have NEVER felt discriminated by staff or passengers. In fact, it's the opposite. We have never felt the need to attend a FoD meeting, but that is not to say it is not an important part of someone's cruise experience. Sadly, far too many gays (and this is not directed to the OP who has a legitimate gripe) seek exclusive company in the gay community. They only travel on gay cruises. Only eat in gay restaurants. Only attend gay churches. Etc. That is sad IMO. We fight for acceptance, not marginalization and compartmentalization.

 

I love how people come up to us and ask us if we are "together". Yes! 14 years.

I love the coming out stories of their children and the pictures and the stories of their accomplishments. We share stories of our military years, our families , and our love of travel.

 

So if you are on the November Mariner Panama Canal cruise... Head up to the pool bar. We'd love to meet you. I hope Calalin is still at the Pool Bar. Best Tanguray & Tonic on the 7 seas.

 

Cheers!

[Travelcat2]

SDARCH: Thank you for a lovely post:)

[RachelG]

Agree, travelcat2!

[TPAtravelfan]

Where the heck is all this coming from? Sorry it just seems to me after following (very briefly) this endless thread that someone couldn't find problems on board and came up with this!!

 

You should read an entire thread before you draw such erroneous conclusions. ;)

[nana541]

You should read an entire thread before you draw such erroneous conclusions. ;)

 

 

What conclusions? I did read it ALL day long and yesterday too .... No error on my part! Thanks for your comments

 

 

PS have never heard of the FoD as stated earlier, it does seem that many friends could be considered same friends but I have never witnessed on Regent or any other ship I've sailed anything but gracious fellow passengers. I don't go around asking who is of what persuasion, it just simply does not matter.

Edited March 13, 2014 by nana541

[flag fan]

Having not yet sailed on Regent Seven Seas, perhaps I should keep my opinions to myself (although the fact that I am checking out the RSS boards shows I am considering it for future cruises), but in my opinion refusing to allow gay groups to announce meetings is discriminatory if they announce meetings for other groups or formerly allowed them to be posted and have now changed that policy. I hope the Original Poster or someone else can provide some clarification on this (practice regarding other groups (besides Friends of Bill, which may be a special case as it is more health-related than social) and whether this is a change in policy).

 

I also think that some of the posts are somewhat trivializing or hostile, even if not intended to be--finding gay cruisers by going to the liveliest bar may be (or be intended) as a gay-friendly comment, but it trivializes the issue of discrimination against gay people (if that is what's going on). I also don't see how announcing these meeting (without even spelling out what the "code" (Friends of Dorothy, FOD, or LGBT) means is "pushing" issues on anyone.

 

I am glad to read that gay passengers have not experienced discrimination or problems by fellow cruisers or staff on board, but the OP's post raises questions about the attitude of Regent management.

 

(BTW, there is some dispute as to who "Dorothy" refers to--Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz or Dorothy Parker or someone else; it was adopted as a means of closeted gay people to refer to each other without identifying themselves or others but younger gay people seem to not know this term as much (or need to any code) and LGBT is becoming more a common term for meetings of gay (and lesbian and bisexual and transgender) people and their friends.)

 

(p.s. Yes, I am gay, but I would like to think that non-gay people would also not want discriminatory behavior by Regent or posters.)

[nana541]

I think you will find that both Regent and your fellow passengers are extremely welcoming! You will love your time onboard any Regent ship.

 

 

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Edited March 13, 2014 by nana541

[Travelcat2]

The information on this thread is provided by someone who is currently on board the Voyager and has posted statements that have yet to be verified. He/she is speaking with someone on board who may or may not be giving correct information. As someone who regularly speaks to Regent crew and officers, I know how easy it is to get information they believe to be correct but is actually not. Unless this poster is speaking to the General Manager (Franck Galzy) or the Captain of the Voyager, it really isn't a good idea to post "facts" that have not been verified. It is far better to indicate that they have "heard" that .......................... "

 

I cannot imagine that Regent management would make a decision to no longer publish only Friends of Dorothy meetings. I can imagine, however, that they no longer wish to post meeting times of any non-Regent events. If meetings are no longer being listed in Passages, I would like to suggest that a board be made available on the ships where information can be listed.

 

Agree that this subject has been trivialized by some on this thread. Hopefully, the seriousness of alleged discrimination will be realized.

 

P.S. Although I am not gay, I have absolutely zero tolerance for discrimination.

[turtlemichael]

I recall a few years ago on a Celebrity ship asking an assistant cruise director whether they could promote an FOD meeting as my keen sense of observation made me think there might be a few on board :) I was told that it was not allowed to advertise such meetings. A day or two later I was speaking to the CD to complain and he advised me that what I had been told was "rubbish". A get together was promoted.

 

My point is that often "policies" can be developed at a low level and may merely reflect the prejudices of the person making them. On Regent I have never seen any issue. It would be good if someone here in the know could clarify the issue as I for one would never sail on Regent again if I found that there was this discrimination occurring. From my experience I strongly doubt that this would be a new corporate policy.

[Suite Travels]

Yes! This is so true.

My partner and I have been on 3 Regent cruises, with a 4th coming up in November. We have met so many awesome people over the past 5 years... And keep in touch with many of them. The pool bar is our headquarters and it is always a fun time. I love all the looks from people lounging around the pool when they hear the laughter. I know they want to join in....come on, we don't bite.

I have NEVER felt discriminated by staff or passengers. In fact, it's the opposite. We have never felt the need to attend a FoD meeting, but that is not to say it is not an important part of someone's cruise experience. Sadly, far too many gays (and this is not directed to the OP who has a legitimate gripe) seek exclusive company in the gay community. They only travel on gay cruises. Only eat in gay restaurants. Only attend gay churches. Etc. That is sad IMO. We fight for acceptance, not marginalization and compartmentalization.

 

I love how people come up to us and ask us if we are "together". Yes! 14 years.

I love the coming out stories of their children and the pictures and the stories of their accomplishments. We share stories of our military years, our families , and our love of travel.

 

So if you are on the November Mariner Panama Canal cruise... Head up to the pool bar. We'd love to meet you. I hope Calalin is still at the Pool Bar. Best Tanguray & Tonic on the 7 seas.

 

Cheers!

 

Excellent and well thought out post. FOD gatherings are done on request just like CC gatherings. Bill W is a wonderful support group and is offered on most lines.

 

My partner and I blend into any venue yet we also have a few friends who will not sail on anything but a gay cruise and eat in only gay resturants. Dan and I have been together for 18 years and 90% of our friends are straight. Being gay is not much of an issue anymore. We also do not want a floating bath house.

 

We love dancing with the ladies and sharing stories about our lives like anyone else. What really makes me laugh, is when we are asked if we are brothers and we look nothing alike. It happens often on cruises and I don't know why.

[SDARCH]

What really makes me laugh, is when we are asked if we are brothers and we look nothing alike. It happens often on cruises and I don't know why.

 

Yep...happens to us too. One time we were invited to share a table with a couple we had met a few days earlier. Half way through the dinner, the husband asked us "are you two brothers?" His wife spun her head around and smacked him on the shoulder saying..."you fool, they are partners." Poor guy, he had no idea. He smiled and said "that's cool" and then went right back to devouring his steak We had a blast together for the rest of the voyage.

[wripro]

I agree with Michael. Many times posting these meetings is the decision of the CD. I can't imagine that it reflects company policy. At least I fervently hope not.

[DocDesdin]

The original writer of the thread stated that Regent no longer allowed fod meetings but stated he did not want to draw his source into the discussion. If this is indeed Regent policy then there should be no issue with disclosing the source. Regent customer service told me there is no such policy and to simply ask and the meeting would be listed. If someone on board is refusing, then talk to the general manager or Regent corporate.

[Baggywrinkle99]

I highly doubt that "banning" FoD events is official corporate policy: it almost certainly breaks the anti-discrimination laws apart from anything else. Ironically, Regent may think that making special provisions for a specific group based on their sexual orientation could also be interpreted as discriminatory too? Whatever they do it seems like someone is going to take offence.

[Travelcat2]

I truly do not believe that Regent would discriminate against anyone or any group. Actually, Friends of Bill and most other meetings would not fall under the anti-discrimination laws of the U.S. federal government. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is certainly protected by the federal government. There is clearly no indication that Regent is doing anything wrong. All we have is one poster who is speaking to someone on board who most likely is not informed.

[freddie]

I truly do not believe that Regent would discriminate against anyone or any group. Actually, Friends of Bill and most other meetings would not fall under the anti-discrimination laws of the U.S. federal government. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is certainly protected by the federal government. There is clearly no indication that Regent is doing anything wrong. All we have is one poster who is speaking to someone on board who most likely is not informed.

The OP posted: "One group meeting that is no longer allowed on Regent is the Friends of Dorothy LGBT mixer."

 

Despite the fact that the OP states that he is aboard Voyager at the present time and has received this bit of rather astounding information from a reliable, if unidentified source, I will give him the rather generous benefit of the doubt and suggest that he intended to suggest that such gatherings are no longer to be listed in Passages, rather than that they are not allowed.

 

First, aside from the reasonable efforts to prevent riots, sit-down protests in the entrance to Compass Rose, or hairy-chest contests, Regent is entirely unlikely to disallow any sort of peaceable "meeting", irrespective of the social make-up of the attendees at such meeting. However, Regent certainly can decline to list a meeting in Passages, if someone in authority determines to do so.

 

I would agree with the posters who have suggested that the refusal to list a FOD/LGBT get-together in Passages is far more likely to be either a misunderstanding or the decision of someone on the ship who doesn't have a complete comprehension of the corporate policies of inclusion. In either case, it is entirely reasonable to escalate the matter (in a calm manner, of course) to the CD or GM, and failing that, to Miami.

 

Listing a get-together of any sort in Passages does not in the slightest fashion endorse the nature of the event or promote any agenda. It simply provides information to those amongst the passengers who might be interested in attending that particular muster.

 

Like Suite T. and Sdarch, my partner (of almost 40 years and now officially legal spouse as of last year) and I are often mistaken for brothers on cruise ships, even though we do not look remotely alike (except for our silver hair). I think that much of that confusion may be due to the more "mature" demographic of luxury cruise lines. Pre-baby-boomers and even early-baby-boomers might simply not have the frame of reference to think of same-sex traveling companions as partners or spouses; therefore, the default guess would be "brothers".

 

In any event, we have never found Regent to be anything other than welcoming to same-sex couples. We have met many wonderful couples, including same-sex, opposite-sex, and sorry-dear-but-no-sex-tonight, on Regent, with never even an awkward moment. In fact, as I love to dance (and my partner does not), I have a grand time dancing with the ladies whose husbands don't like to dance. The husbands are not threatened by my dancing with their lovely ladies, as they know that I will not be hitting on their wives.

 

Ah, as to the matter of anti-discrimination laws, sexual orientation is not a protected class under federal law, even though it is a protected class under the laws of many states. There is a serious legal question whether cruise lines, even those who make port stops in U.S. ports, are bound by the anti-discrimination laws of the states in which they port. Indeed, Florida, the state most likely to have ports for cruise ships, does not include sexual orientation in its anti-discrimination code.

 

Cheers, Fred

 

PS - Sorry to be so long-winded.

Edited March 14, 2014 by freddie

[RachelG]

Good comments, Freddie. I would be thrilled to dance with you any night (and George would be thrilled too as he hates to dance!)

[Baggywrinkle99]

Interesting. I am lucky enough to live in Australia where the anti-discrimination laws are much more comprehensive and embrace any number of groups or demographics including gender, sexual orientation, disability, race, age, religion, you name it. I didn't realise that the US, or parts of it, haven't got the memo yet.

[Travelcat2]

Changed my mind.

Edited March 14, 2014 by Travelcat2